Iridescence
by Belensthoughts
Summary: AU/ Damon and Bonnie were best friends since they were kids but everything changed once he goes to New York for school. Seven years later they have to see each other again at the wedding of his brother and her best friend. What will happen when they have to spend hours together for the wedding extravaganza, which includes a dance sequence together?
1. Chapter 1

_I. The past comes back to bite you in the ass_

She had not seen Caroline for a few weeks now. Her residency in Emergency Medicine was about to finish, so of course she hadn't had much of a social life. Luckily, for her she had a few days off so she could finally see her best friend.

She walked through the beautiful streets of Mystic Falls. It was a nice day, spring was coming soon so they had a break from the snowstorms and the rain and she felt like it was such a gift that her one day off she could have some sunlight to bathe on.

She got to the restaurant where they were getting breakfast, expecting to have to wait, since she was a few minutes early, but there was already a blonde sitting at their favorite table. Her best friend smiled widely at the sight of her, radiant. Oh, she just hoped Caroline wasn't pregnant.

-Hi Bonnie!- said the blonde gleefully while wrapping her arms around her

-Hey Care, you seem chipper than usual, how you been?-she said with a huge smile, she really had missed her.

-Great! Have a sit because you are gonna need it-she smiled like a Cheshire cat but turned around to call the waiter.

That made her a bit nervous, secrecy didn't sit well with her, but then again Caroline was known for being a dramaqueen, so of course she was having a blast with being a little extra.

They ordered the same as usual, pancakes for Bonnie and French toast for Caroline. Plus two green teas to not feel too guilty about it.

-Spill it Care, you're making me nervous.

-Come on Bonnie, let me have my fun

-I love it when you have your fun, but just not at my expense

-Ugh, Med-school has made you a party pooper- she sighed dramatically and took her right hand from under the table very carefully, brushing off some loose hairs in her face, taking her sweet time doing so. She didn't have to, thought, as soon as Bonnie saw her hand she saw the big rock resting on top of her ring finger.

-OH MY GOD CAROLINE! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SOONER?! –screamed Bonnie excitedly and stood up to hug her friend who was also screaming- BREAKFAST IS ON ME! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! We may need some champagne

-It's ten in the morning-replied Caroline with a laugh

-Mimosas then?

They laughed while holding each other tight. These were big news, amazing news, news she had been expecting for a long time to be honest.

-Ugh, I'm sorry I didn't' tell you sooner, I didn't want you to be too distracted from becoming the best doctor in Mystic Falls' history- that made Bonnie roll her eyes for sure- Plus it just happened a few days ago. Only our families know.

-Oh…so how was it?- asked Bonnie looking at the ring. Caroline knew instantly why she changed the subject. Her groom's brother.

-Well… it was amazing- Caroline went on but she stopped listening, it's not like she wasn't going to repeat this story a thousand more times. Bonnie used this time to remember herself that what happened between them had happened ages ago. She should've let it go by now. She thought she had actually, but somehow the mention of him knowing first still stung a bit. Maybe it was just her being competitive.

-Well of course it was amazing!- she said when she realized that Caroline had finished- and of course you said yes, how did your family react?- this put a smile on Caroline's face, she wasn't sure how the brunette was going to react with the other news she had for her, but she seemed to be handling this well enough.

-They were thrilled and joking about how he didn't do it sooner

-I was actually thinking about the same thing. You guys have been together forever and it's not like you are not crazy in love, because you are- Caroline smiles even brighter, she was just incredibly happy and that made Bonnie so happy too. And honestly it made her feel a little bit guilty about focusing on her own little drama instead of her best friend's happiness. This wasn't about her and her story, this was about her two best friends getting married.

-Yeah, as soon as I said yes I asked him what took him so long, he laughed and said that he just wanted us to have stable jobs before jumping into the new adventure

-That is just so damn sweet

That made her reminisce about their adolescence. They started calling everything an adventure. Wherever they went together was always an adventure to them.

-I know right!- Caroline laughed, purely because of happiness she presumed, while the waiter brought their stuff to the table.

-Thanks- said Bonnie to their waiter and he smiled and turned around- Oh, I'm just dying to eat these, I have missed them too much.

-It'll be worth it Bonnie, once you graduate it'll feel like it was nothing.

-I know, I'm just so happy I took the chance and started the Emergency Medicine residency right off the bat.

-Of course you did, you are so incredibly smart and brave, you had to.

Bonnie looked at her best friend while chewing her pancake. Something wasn't right.

-Ok, too much sucking up to me, what's going on?

-Oh, come on Bonnie I just wanted to cheer you up- she was avoiding her gaze, so most definitely there was something up.

-No, I know you, one comment I get it- she tried to make her look at her eyes but the blonde didn't budge- but two in a row?

-Ok… I was hoping you would eat a little bit more and get on a better mood before I asked you about this.

-I am in a great mood, I don't know what you're talking about- she kept on eating, she knew she wasn't going to like what Care had to say.

-Ok. I know this is a big thing to ask, but you know how I always said that my wedding was going to be epic? –she nodded- and I said it was gonna have a big dance sequence, with the most epic, romantic songs in it?

Oh no, she could feel the fear creeping in. This could only mean one thing and she was not ready for it.

-Care, use your next words wisely

\- I know it is too much and I also know that you've already guessed it, because of how big your eyes are right now, so I'll just say it: Will you be my maid of honor and in doing so dance with Damon, the best man, at the wedding?

-Oh my God.

They were in silence for a few minutes. She didn't know what to say, I mean of course, Caroline had told every single soul on earth that when she got married it was going to be epic. With at least 200 guests, dance choreographies, open bar, a ceremony in the forest and just about anything her heart desired. No wonder Stephan had taken so long to ask her, he had to prepare mentally and financially for such a party. He wasn't going to let Caroline's mom to have to pay alone for such a thing.

So, she had to remember what she had said to herself before, this wasn't about her. This was about her best friends getting married.

But at the same time it had to do with her and her story with his ex-best friend. The guy she grew up with, was supposed to go to college with and maybe even end up dating. Ok, that last part was just in her mind the whole time, but even like that the other one didn't happened either. She hadn't seen him in two years, and they haven't had an honest conversation in almost seven years.

No wonder her heart was pounding at the thought of not only seeing him and having to work side by side to ensure the wedding run smoothly but to work on a choreography for God knows how long. Oh God.

-Why can't your other bridesmaids dance with him?

-Because Rebekah wants to dance with her boyfriend, of course. Lexie and Klaus are both single and have already called dibs on each other. I'm not kidding, she just sent me a text asking me to pair her with him. I thought I could just reject Klaus' idea, but if I do, I'm sure they'll bring it up again at the dance rehearsals. I don't wanna put you on the spotlight like that, I want you to have a choice and to have time to be prepared if you accept.

But did she really have a choice? Caroline was her best friend since kindergarten. They had talked and talked and talked about being each other's maid of honor, about how they wanted their wedding to be like and with whom.

-But I don't really have it, Care. This is your day, I should not be interfering with your dream wedding because I still can't get over something that happened years ago. Maybe this will be good for me, maybe this will help getting some closure-she said the last part not as convinced as she was hoping to, though.

She smiled at her best friend, but it was rather forced. Of course it sounded like a rational way to look at it. And maybe it could even be true, she could finally move on and go to the big city with her boyfriend. Who was going to be at the wedding, so she didn't have to worry for spending that much time with Damon anyway.

-You are so mature now Bonnie, see? ER has treated you right.

-Yeah…-she rolled her eyes, she was still sucking up to her apparently- plus, when we are not dancing and being your slaves we'll be with our partners. Enzo will be at the wedding with me and Damon will come to town with Elena probably two weeks before the wedding. I'm assuming that's when we'll start the rehearsals and everything.

-Well… you are right and wrong. Yes, two weeks before the wedding is when we'll start rehearsing everyday for two hours a day. But…

-But?

-They are no longer together… and he doesn't want the plus one.

Now that was dangerous. And weird. All she could heard about when he was at home was how much he loved Elena and how she had made him a better person. He used to say that she was the one, so it was weird that they had broken up, even weirder yet was that he didn't want the plus one. He wasn't a loner, girls were always around him and he had had dates with almost every girl in town before he left it.

-But I got my plus one, right?

-Of course, speaking of, how's everything with Enzo?

-Things are… normal. We haven't really spoken in a few…weeks now, because of how crazy things are in the hospital, but he still wants me to go straight to Chicago when I finish the residency. He's done with the whole distance relationship thing and I can't really blame him.

-And you? Do you want to go there?

-Me?- she sighed and started thinking about it, he had such an important place in her heart but right now she was so busy all the time that she didn't even had time to miss him- I like Mystic Falls. It's my home.

Caroline nodded, clearly with something to say but keeping it to herself.

-That's bad then.

-Yeah, but I don't wanna think about it until I have to. I'm just trying to survive my last few months residency now.

-Oh I'm sure that takes a lot of energy, so let's not think about that either ok? Do you want to see pictures of my favorite dresses?

-Yes please! Oh, wait, I'll have to help with a lot of stuff right?

-Don't worry. We'll go dress shopping in spring break, when you have your week off and look at the venues at that time also. The rest of the stuff will be sorted out with Stefan, the wedding planner and me. The wedding will be on July so everyone has time off and hopefully we won't be getting rain that day.

-Great. Of course you've already thought about everything. Now, let me see those princess dresses.

-Oh you know I'm gonna have a train.

-Yeah, the longest one for sure.

They spent the rest of their breakfast looking through Pinterest. She was happy for her friend and she loved the thought of a summer wedding for Caroline, everything was going according to plan for the blonde. But not for her. She could still feel a weight in her stomach throughout the whole thing, even when she had had all of her delicious pancakes plus a little of Caroline's French toast.

After a couple of hours, Stefan called her fiancé because they had a lunch date, so they paid and went each on their respective ways.

She walked home, she needed the fresh air to process everything that happened and what was bound to happen. It wasn't a great idea thought, this town was filled with ghosts. She used to ride her bike on that street with Damon. The houses remained the same as the ones in her memories. As if time had not passed. Maybe that's why she couldn't let it go, perhaps she should listen to Enzo and move to Chicago with him, even when she didn't really like big cities.

That didn't stop her from wanting to go to New York with Damon, though. But she was younger and adventurous and that would've been a great adventure if things hadn't gone downhill.

It wasn't like it was a huge thing, a betrayal or an explosion of bad feelings or anything of the sort, but it had hurt her. So much so that she didn't even apply to NYU. Maybe because there wasn't a big fight, or maybe the fact that she never got a reason for his indifference is why it hurt her so much. Perhaps the fact that they spent the whole summer before he left joint by the hip made his lack of communication just two months later hurt her so much.

She didn't understand it. She just knew they were best friends, even thought he was a year older and they had a plan to continue with their friendship once she finished high school, but the promise didn't even last a couple of months. He started not answering her calls, blowing her off, ignoring her texts. So of course she just had enough when he came for Christmas and all he talked about was his new friends and how hot girls were there. She was righfully pissed.

So she didn't keep with her side of the deal, she applied to Whitmore with Care and Stefan to stay close to her home. That pissed him off. Especially since he found out through his brother. She could still remember the short call; he didn't even say hi, he went straight to asking her if it was true. She said it was and he just hung up. That's how ten years of friendship go down the toilette.

Well that wasn't entirely true, she remembered the last day he spent on Mystic Falls. It was his goodbye dinner and he offered to take her home in his car. He hugged her for so long that she thought they'd just spent the whole night like that, outside her house, into each other's arms.

But he pulled back and he had his eyes glazed when they separated.

_-I'm scared Bonnie- he whispered looking at the ground_

_-You'll be alright, you always are Damon. _

_-I just wished we could be leaving together. Not because I need you Bon Bon, don't get it twisted- he smiled crookedly at her and she just rolled her eyes with a small smile of her own- I'm just going into this new adventure alone. You, Stefan, Klaus, even goldilocks, you all are staying here. _

_She started to run her fingers through his hair, which always seemed to calm him down._

_-You are amazing Damon, you'll do great in there. Mystic Falls is too small for you._

_-You're damn right it is- he whispered with his eyes closed- and it is also too small for you. _

_-And that's why I'm going there next year_

_-Is that a promise?- he asked opening his eyes_

_-Of course it is, that's been the plan for two years now._

_-Good. I hate it when you work your magic and make me be vulnerable. You are definitely a witch- she laughed softly at that, she was going to miss this idiot._

_-I wish I was. I could go to Hogwarts_

_-Yes, and marry Harry Potter, I know, you've told me that before- he said rolling his eyes at her, making her laugh again. It was in that moment that they realized they were still hugging, not very far away from each other._

_He caressed her cheek and put a kiss on her forehead. She thought that would be all but then he planted a short kiss on her lips. It was quick, sweet and unexpected. And as soon as he pulled back he also went back to his car without looking at her again._

She hated that that was the last time they saw each other as friends. She wished she would've done something, kiss him back or tell him how she felt, it didn't really matter, since they stopped being friends anyway. At least she could've had some sort of closure.

She got to her house, the one her grandma had left to her when she died. She just hated that that goodbye happened at her door, every once in a while the memories attacked her and the progress she thought she had made just vanished.

It's not like she was crying and pinning and thinking about it all of her University experience. She totally felt like she forgot about him for a few months, then someone mentioned him and she was back at feeling lost and not knowing how it ended like that. He was her best friend, damn it.

She decided it was time she just stopped thinking about it, just like Chicago, she'd just wait until she had no other choice but to think about it. Maybe until she graduated in June, because she had to study. This was actually great because she had tons of things to do and that would distract her from her issues enormously.

But as she served herself some tea to start studying again, the intrusive thoughts came back, and she imagined what it would be like to dance with him.

Enzo, Enzo, Enzo. Concentrate in that guy instead "he's you boyfriend", she told herself.

But she didn't feel the same thinking about him. There were not butterflies, sweaty palms or heart palpitations. She couldn't help but to feel guilty about it, he had been so pacient with her and she really did feel that way about him before- years ago, though.

She didn't want to think about that either, because she had a feeling she'd end up calling him and telling him this and that was not a good idea. So she decided it was time she focused on her studies and nothing else. Not Damon, not Enzo, not Chicago.

God, these were going to be some awful months she had ahead of her.

-...-...-...-...

Hey guys! I started this story because I couldn't stop thinking about these two, even when the show ended a long time ago. Tell me what you think about it in reviews and I made a tumblr for you guys to see pictures or gifsets that I think can be relevant to the story or if you'd like to ask me stuff in there :) it's bamon-iridescense

Happy reading :)


	2. Chapter 2

II. Damsel in distress.

Spring break had finally arrived and Bonnie was fucking tired. She had done a crazy schedule in the hospital for too long and had to see really hard stuff on ER. She hadn't realized Mystic Falls was so eventful before she started residency almost three years ago but since then, she had to witness some wild stuff.

She had spent her first day in bed. She told Caroline and Enzo she needed some time for herself, so she just watched some entertaining but not very intelligent movies while eating Chinese food. She loved delivery apps.

Then she realized her house was a mess and even though she wanted to rest, she found that the mechanical chores were great to rest her mind. At night, her house was clean and her mind clear. Which was not ideal, since she didn't want to think about what the next months had in store for her, so she ordered a pizza and put Pride and Prejudice on.

Oh, how she loved Mr. Darcy. And how she adored Lizzie. She adored how free of other people's opinions she was, how that didn't affect her. She strived to be like that someday.

Enzo was texting her, but she wasn't responding a lot, she wanted to see her movie in peace. She realized she was being a little bit harsh, knowing they hadn't spoken on the phone for at least two weeks and every time they texted she was mainly talking about gross things she saw on ER, which probably wasn't a lovely thing to discuss with your long-distance girlfriend, but she didn't feel like talking about anything else.

She wondered when she had stopped wanting to talk to him on the phone every day or when her excitement about seeing his name on the screen just disappeared. She had expected not feeling butterflies forever but since the discovery of Damon coming to town for the wedding, she couldn't help but to compare her feelings for him and for Enzo.

She couldn't pinpoint a specific date for her indifference for him, but she could definitely place it around the first year of being apart, which meant that the last year she'd been just comfortable with him being away and only seeing each other on Christmas, their birthdays and in summer.

It was tough, but things could go back to normal if she went to Chicago with him. Maybe. Maybe not. What if the spark was just gone and she moved her entire life there only to have a loveless relationship? And how would she tell him that without hurting him?

She used to love him, he was there for her when her grandmother died. The last family that she had, the woman who had raised her. He was there for her every step of the way, he helped her lift up her spirits again and start remembering her Grams for the amazing person that she was with happiness instead of pain.

Maybe she owed him to do this. But then again, how could she do that without hurting him? Because if she left everything behind to be with him, but she wasn't the same loving girlfriend she was years ago he'd notice and she couldn't just lie to his face and pretend she felt stuff she wasn't feeling.

She took a deep breath and texted him she was going to sleep. She didn't want to deal with it today, it was her day off and she was scared.

So she just occupied her mind with Mr. Darcy and Lizzie and how she hated that he was that rich because of colonialism. She put her silk scarf on and went to sleep.

The next day she woke up early and refreshed. Her house was clean and she was going to see a wedding venue with Caroline so she decided to put some make up on and wear something tight to make herself feel good. She had been neglecting her image because of how hard she had been working and she deserved to feel like a beautiful girl again.

By the time Caroline came to pick her up she was ready and glowing.

-Wow Bonnie you look hot today- said the blonde as soon as she got into the car

-Thank you, I decided I needed some me time today

-And I appreciate that you did it today because these venues are not cheap and they usually treat you as good as you look.

-Yeah, that's why you are the one doing the talking. You come across as bitchier than me

-Bonnie!

-Hey, it's a good thing. They will have everything ready and perfect for you just so they don't have to be scolded by you.

-You do have a point

They smiled and went to the first venue, it was going to be a full week of just looking for the perfect place for the party, with a forest or something cute outside for the wedding obviously. Then on Saturday it was the dress appointment at a bridal shop close to Whitmore. A very elegant, exclusive and pricey one.

But right now she needed to focus on the venue, because Caroline would rely on her while her fiancé wasn't there, he was going to meet them there as soon as he got out of work, but that was a good two hours later.

She was oh so ready for the one day off in the middle of the week that Caroline was giving her, the one she planned on using studying.

As they were getting into the venue, Enzo called again. She felt guilty about the epiphany she had the day before and she knew he was going to notice. She knew they needed to have a conversation but she didn't want to have it in front of Caroline so she just let her phone buzz in her pocket.

* * *

Her day off was here and she was delighted, as much as she loved Caroline they'd been spending too much time while looking for something that needed to be above the bride's expectations, which was very hard. So the blonde was a little bitchy and snarky, which made Stefan be super mellow with her to make her feel better and she just hated third-wheeling.

She decided she was gonna make herself some blueberries and oatmeal pancakes, that always cheered her up.

And when she had just finished her breakfast, the phone rang. She was sure it was Caroline trying to convince her to help her with something, so she just took her phone and answered.

-What's up?- she answered a bit dry. She was told this was her day off and dammit she was having this day off.

-Well, love, I thought you'd be more happy to hear about me- she could listen the smile in his voice.

-Oh, sorry, I thought you were Caroline, invading my day off with bridal stuff. How are you honey?- she felt weird sometimes talking to him when they hadn't spoken in a long time, but even weirder because she had been ignoring him.

-Good, hoping you will consider taking a few days off of your bridal duties and come see me.

-Oh…um… I don't know- she started playing with her fingers trying to find some excuse- I only have three more days off. You should've told me sooner, I could've bought my tickets before, they are very expensive now- she knew it was a bad excuse, because he would help her pay for them, but she didn't know what else to say.

-I tried, but you were studying, and ignoring my calls also.

-I wasn't ignoring your calls, I was in the hospital, I couldn't have my phone with me. And then Caroline gets super mad when I'm not paying attention to her while on bridal duty, she's turning into a bridezilla.

-Sure. I get it- he sighted and then he felt silent. She knew she should want to go and maybe if she did they could discuss this like adults. But she still didn't want to hurt him.

-I just… I got so focused on the residency and then the wedding that I didn't think of going to Chicago.

-That's the problem Bonnie. There's always something occupying your mind. I used to love that you were so driven and I used it as an excuse for you. For not putting me as a priority, but come on. You don't even know if you want to come live with me, so why are we still together Bonnie? Do we even have a future together anymore?

Ok, that came out of nowhere. Or did it? She wasn't expecting it coming from him at all, but she knew it was gonna come some day or another, he was right, he wasn't a priority for her anymore, maybe when they'd lived close by, but now? She really sucked as a girlfriend and that made her realized that maybe she was just being selfish by keeping him with her, instead of letting him go.

-I'm sorry Enzo, I know I'm a mess. I know I should put you first and I don't wanna make up excuses, I'm just a bad girlfriend.

-No, you are not. You are just not in love with me anymore.

Oh that one hurt, not because it wasn't true, but because it sounded like he'd been knowing for a while. She'd been hurting him.

-I'm so sorry Enzo

-Me too.

They just stayed silent, this was definitely not the way she was hoping this conversation would end up, even if it was for the best.

-You deserve to be loved Enzo, you're an amazing boyfriend. I hope I wasn't getting in the way of that

-No, truth be told, I was hoping I was doing that for you. You are an amazing girl and I didn't wanna lose you, even when I knew this wasn't the same anymore.

-We both lived in denial then- she said with a sad smile. Another silence came by and they knew they just had to let the other one go.

-Goodbye Bonnie Bennet, have a nice life, love

-You too, Enzo.

That was sad and unexpected, I mean, she could definitely see their conversation going like this since she hadn't made a decision about Chicago yet, but she was expecting it was in person, hopefully after the wedding. Damn it, she forgot about that, now everyone would ask her where he was, since they all knew him. Plus Damon would definitely give her shit about it. Well, that was if he was talking to her. She still didn't know how he'd react to working together in the wedding.

It sucked to end a relationship of four years and not feel pain, she remembered when he went to Chicago and he promised they'd still be together even if they couldn't see each other every day like they used to. She had cried herself to sleep a few too many times back then, but now, it just felt like it was something that had to happen.

She was still sad, though. He could make her laugh and forget about everything sometimes, with his charm and his witty comments, but one of the bad things of Med-school is that you spend too many years in college, while everyone else finishes two or three years prior.

She decided to text Caroline, telling her the news. The blonde was at her house thirty minutes later, with ice cream and a big fluffy blanket.

-See? How could I move to Chicago and leave all of this behind?

* * *

-So? What do you think?- asked Caroline turning around, she had a big princess gown on.

-Well… maybe less is more?- Bonnie knew Care would go for the big ones, but this one was just ridiculous, too big, too fluffy, too shiny, too much.

-Yeah, I feel like the dress is wearing me and not the other way around, you feel me?- said Caroline looking at herself at the mirror while moving her hands in circles.

-Sure- she didn't know what she meant, but as long as she wasn't wearing that one at the wedding, she would just agree.

-Come on, Care, show us another one- said Lexi. Bonnie just smiled. She really liked how upfront the little Salvatore cousin was, if she was bored she'd just tell you. Like right now.

-Oh my God I'm starting to regret inviting you.

-You know you love me, now chop chop

Caroline left out a dramatic sight and went into the changing room. Bonnie was just thankful that Rebekah couldn't make it, she liked her sometimes but when things were revolving around someone other than her? She couldn't take it.

She figured that's why she didn't come, she was angry at Matt for not proposing to her yet and this made it worst. So she would probably be insufferable if she was there. The bad side was that Caroline's mom couldn't be there either for health issues, so she had to talk to Lexi alone, and that kind of scared her.

-So, you and Enzo are done right?- asked Lexi looking at her nails. Bonnie was of course expecting it, even when Caroline had probable asked her not to do it, maybe that's why it had took thirty minutes for her to let it out.

-Yeah. It was bound to happen, we were just delaying it.- said Bonnie looking at the dressing room, she just wanted to say everything fast so this would end soon.

-Yeah… you don't think it has nothing to do with the wedding right?

-What do you mean?- she turned to face Lexi immediately and of course the blonde had a smug look on her face.

-Well, weddings make people think about themselves and their status. That's why Rebekah isn't here. That's why I'm gonna fuck the shit out of Klaus while the "festivities" happen and then forget about him.

-Please wear a condom- she said rolling her eyes. A son of those two in the world? Please, God, no.

-Relax, I'm a big girl, I know what I'm doing. What I was saying is, people go crazy during these things, maybe he thought that you two should be going into the same path and then realized, oh no, there's a reason we aren't.

-Mmm… that's a good guess. I don't know, he just said he realized we weren't in love anymore and that we were just holding each other back in the romantic field.

-Which leads me to believe he also thought about the whole Damon thing.

-What?

-What do you guys think?- Caroline came out of her dressing room with a beautiful A line lace gown. It had less poof, and sparkles and it was more romantic and soft. Bonnie loved it.

-Oh my God, finally something I like- said Lexi standing up to take a better look.

-You look beautiful Care- complimented Bonnie still taken aback by what Lexie said.

-Right? Maybe I don't need the puffiest dress to be a princess, this makes me feel like one, no joke

-Then take it- Lexi came back to the seat and just relaxed. Bonnie hated that she could never achieve that level of chill.

With that comment the dress consultant came back with a veil and when Caroline looked at herself in the mirror like that, she started tearing up.

-Yeah, I think I will… this is it

Caroline started crying and of course Bonnie went to hug her, she knew it wasn't as much the emotion as how much she wanted to emulate "Say yes to the dress", but she would always be there for her friend and her extra attitude, as long as she was there for her when she needed her.

The blonde came back into the dressing room to facetime her mom and to change into her regular clothes and Bonnie instantly turned to Lexi.

-What did you mean by that?

-That she should take it, she looked gorgeous- she teased with a smug grin.

-Not about that! About Enzo and Damon

-Oh, that. Maybe he was just eager to come to the wedding to cock-block you and Damon, like he always does. And then, he realized he didn't even cared about you anymore, only about that little game they had.

-They had no such game

-Of course they did, everyone knew it, hell ask Caroline when she comes back

That was definitely a surprise, I mean she had told Enzo about the whole best friends thing, but he never knew about the kiss or her feelings.

They remained in silence, while Lexi just checked her phone and Bonnie just stood in the middle of the room, shifting her weight side to side, not feeling comfortable with herself.

-Ok, my mom loved it and I can't wait to take it home

-That's great, Care- said Bonnie absently

-What's wrong, Bonnie?

-She just wants to ask you something- interrupted Lexi making Bonnie a little angrier than she anticipated.

-Ask me what?

-Oh, about Enzo's game. He was always around only when he knew Damon would come to town to block any interaction between him and this lady right here- she pointed at Bonnie, who was still very silent, not knowing how to react to her anger. She knew that she needed to know if it was true but she still hated that the blonde was just rushing everything.

-Oh come on, Lexi! Couldn't you wait a bit more before dropping a bomb like that on her?

-What do you mean, Care? Is it true?

-I mean, only he knows. We just speculated that he wanted to protect you from more Damon drama so he kept constantly asking when he was coming and you wanted to have excuses not to see Damon so that helped you

-Why didn't you tell me, thought? I'm your best friend. Not him.

-Ugh… I just thought that you had enough in your plate already to deal with this.

-Unbelievable

Bonnie took her stuff and left. She knew Lexi wouldn't care enough to follow her and Caroline had to pay for the dress, so she also wouldn't follow her

She just wanted some time for herself. To think and try to remember all those times. Was that true? Was she so blind that she hadn't noticed?

_-Oh, witchy came back to the Salvatore's house. How nice of her to visit her friends again- said Damon as soon as he opened the door to his house. It was the first Salvatore Christmas party she attended in three years._

_-I'm sorry, who are you and why are you talking to my girlfriend like that?- said Enzo taking a step forward_

_-Oh Enzo don't waste your time with this idiot. We came here because of Stefan, not him._

_-And I appreciate it- said Stefan from behind his brother, who had a very pissed off face. _

_-Then take care of your guests brother, while I go back to mine. Cheers- he said smiling wryly while lifting his glass with bourbon while looking straight to Bonnie's eyes. She could see he was annoyed with her, but so was she, so she didn't really cared. Or so she told herself._

_He left them and she immediately felt like going after him, yell at him or throw that drink of his on his face, that's how she knew she wasn't over it yet._

_-I'm sorry guys, he's just… Damon. _

_-I know, you don't have to worry about it- responded Bonnie with a small smile. It wasn't his brother's fault. Stefan was the sane one in the family, she couldn't take it out on him._

_They came inside, it was all beautifully adorned, obviously by Caroline and Jo. She could see them talking with excitement, while moving their hands and everything. _

_-How long have you had these parties Stefan? And why was I never invited?- joked Enzo with a smile, while serving himself some bourbon. Weird, he never drank that._

_-Oh, forever. My parents used to have them every year and then they passed away and Alaric and Jo decided to keep the tradition going._

_She hated that her friends had lost their parents at such a young age. Fourteen and thirteen is definitely a time where you still need your parents, but she was just happy that Damon and Stefan had Alaric and Jo to take care of them when their parents died on that car crush. She didn't know what would've happened to them is they ended up in the foster care system. _

_-I'm sorry to hear that, but I think we should celebrate that you guys are okay and happy, for the most part- he finished looking at Damon, who had his arm around a pretty brunette. He was talking to her and she seemed very happy and pleasant but he still had a frown on. _

_-Yeah, I think he took it the hardest. But he was chipper before, I don't know what happened to him._

_She could feel Stefan's eyes on her. But she didn't want to look. She just looked at the decorations as if she hadn't heard._

_-I'm gonna go pour myself some egg-nog, will you wait for me here?- she asked Enzo before kissing him in the cheek and turning around without waiting for an answer._

_She could feel more eyes following her, and once she got to the kitchen, she realized it was more than eyes that had followed her there. _

_-So you have a boyfriend now, witchy?- he whispered in her ear, of course he was behind her._

_-Stop doing that, you creep- she answered while walking away from him. She turned around and crossed her arms while looking at Damon, all relaxed, propped up against the door frame._

_-What am I doing exactly?- he said looking all innocent but his eyes betrayed him. He was definitely enjoying this._

_-You know what you're doing. Following me like a stalker and then whispering in my ear like a perv. That's not cute, Damon. _

_-Really? Because that's gotten me laid thousands of times_

_-First of all, you are gross. And second of all, is that what you want? To get me in bed? Because last time I checked you had a girl here with you and you seem to forget I find you repulsive._

_-Uh, witchy so many words- he rolled his eyes and walked a bit closer to her- Yes, I have a girl with me. My girlfriend, who I love by the way, so no, I wasn't trying to get you in bed. You wish, though- he wiggle his eyebrows and she just hated him even more._

_-Then why are you here trying your moves on me?- she had to lift up her head to talk to him, since he had come closer and he was much taller, but she wasn't going to budge, she stayed right there._

_-To see if that idiot is treating you right- he surprised her with that, especially because it looked like he was telling her the truth, but she wasn't going to let him see her surprise. Or excitement. _

_-What do you mean if he's treating me right? And why do you care?_

_-Because I used to know a very independent woman who didn't need a man to defend her from guys. It's not here anymore, though. I think she left… maybe to New York?- he said tilting his head to look innocent. They both knew what he meant by that and that made her regain her disdain._

_-Yeah? Because I have a caring boyfriend, I'm a damsel in distress now?- she decided to ignore the rest of his accusation, that would hurt him more._

_-You used to think like that_

_-No, I didn't. You didn't really know me, did you? I can defend myself, I'm pretty good at it actually, but it's nice to know that my man has my back._

_He just stood there, looking at her eyes, like looking for something. She started to get nervous under those inquisitive eyes. She hated that he still had power over her, even after all those years._

_Fortunately, Jo walked in the kitchen and started making conversation with him, so she took the chance to go back to her boyfriend._

That was the first time Enzo and Damon met, so of course the other times they saw each other he kept her busy so she didn't run into him at the same parties. He used to go everywhere with her and she just thought it was to avoid another situation like that.

She didn't know he went to such extremes to keep protecting her, but she never really cared because it was better for her as well. She felt like an idiot for both not knowing and not caring.

Oh God, this was even worse than she thought. She really was a fucking damsel in distress.

* * *

Hi guys! Thank you for reading and for commenting, you guys made me want to keep going :) Tell me what do you think about this and if you saw coming the ending between Bonnie and Enzo. I know some of you feel bad for Enzo because he was great to Bonnie on the show, but honestly I didn't watch the last season, I was pissed at the show so I just stopped watching it,so I really don't know how good they were together, but I don't want to take away from them. They loved each other but they just fell apart after spending so much time away from each other.

Also if you guys want to see the dresses I will be uploading pics of them on the tumblr I made for the fic although we all know what Caroline's dress looks like, but I'll still upload some gifs of it :)

Hope you guys liked it and see you soon.


	3. Chapter 3

III. Fucking freezing.

They were back at the bridal store, this time it was time for the bridesmaids' to try on some dresses. She had two consecutive days off again, which only happened once a month, so they decided it was the perfect day for shopping, in case they needed to come back the next day for alterations or anything.

Caroline said that they could each choose one and try to convince her on why they needed to wear it and if the rest agreed, that was the one.

Bonnie was happy she could at least pitch one to her friend, because she knew that the three girls were very different, with very different tastes and different convincing skills, so at least she had a shot. Even thought she knew that Rebekah would end up winning, her stupid British accent could make anyone follow her lead.

She just felt weird being back at the same shop of her outburst. A few days had gone by and she felt like maybe she overreacted a bit. After she left Caroline called a lot of times. So many that she finally gave up and answered. They talked for a long time and eventually Bonnie realized that it wasn't Caroline's fault that she hadn't noticed "the game", as Lexi had called it. It was her own fault for not caring, and maybe she did kind of notice but she didn't try to stop or talk about it.

They ended up on good terms again, which was a relief for Caroline, who needed desperately her maid of honor back and with that they went on with the rest of the wedding preparations, hence the visit to the bridal shop.

She picked a flowy yellow dress. It ended uneven and she knew it would look great on the dance sequence. She left the dressing room where she had put it on and the other girls were already out.

Rebekah had a big puffy dress on. It was black with little white beads all over it, it looked like the night sky and it was definitely gorgeous. But it was too prom dressy. Lexi had a white, very tight and short dress on. It had see-through parts around the chest area, but with the boobs covered. It was still kind of racy for a wedding in the woods.

-Ok-said Caroline examining them. She looked at her and knew she was winning instantly, her face changed when she got to her dress. Suck it, blondies- Rebekah, explain why we should pick your dress

-Because is the most beautiful one, dah- she said with a movement of her wrist. She passed her hand through the beads, just mesmerized with them- plus I look gorgeous in it

-Yeah, but you'd look gorgeous in anything. You are just that bitch. I don't know though, it doesn't look like a bridesmaids dress, what do you guys think?

-It's a prom's dress. We all know it, we all pass. Now, I know you look at this and say "it's too slutty", right?- the three of them nodded at Lexi's question- and that's the idea. I'm going just so I can get laid with Klaus, you need something to remind Matt that you're still desired by other men, so he should propose soon and Bonnie needs this to show that she's single and better without Enzo. And maybe even better, in bed with the best man.

-Lexi!

-Come on, Care. All that hate and tension? That's best resolved in bed

Bonnie felt her face on fire. She just hated that now that Enzo was out of the picture, everyone's first though was her hooking up with Damon. Caroline felt bad for this, obviously. You could see it in her face.

-Shut up. Don't listen to her, Bonnie. Pitch us your dress

-Ok- she cleared her throat to make herself feel more confident- I think this dress is perfect for the wedding but also the dance. It's comfortable but eye catching. It is flowy but it still accentuates your figure so you can definitely achieve the sexy with this. It's just less on the nose.

-But where's the fun then?- said Lexi crossing her arms.

-It's her wedding. It shouldn't be fun for you, it should be fun for Caroline- said Bonnie bluntly. She was usually patient with Lexi, but she couldn't help her reaction when someone was coming for her like that.

-Uh, did I say something triggering?

-No Lexie, you were just a bitch- responded Caroline- and Bonnie is right, this is the perfect dress, it fulfills all of your boxes. It's not too long, nor too short. It's flowy, sexy and eye-catching.

-Problem is that I don't look well on yellow, I'm too pale- said Rebekah with her hands on her hips.

-Then just get a spray tan it's not that hard- responded Lexi rolling her eyes- I do it all the time. You're right, Bonnie. I was overstepping a bit. Sometimes I forget we are not actually friends

-Oh my God, you are one of my bridesmaids, how are we not friends?- said or practically screamed Caroline putting her hands on her hips.

-We're friends because of circumstance. I've always been Stefan's best friend, since we were kids, so I had to tag along with you guys or Stefan wasn't going. I get it- she turned around to get into the dressing room, but Caroline followed her to avoid another crisis.

Bonnie knew she should assure her that that wasn't the case, that they were friends. But she didn't feel like lying. It was all true. They had a big group of friends: Care, Stefan, Tyler, Matt, Rebekah, Klaus, Damon, Lexi and herself. They grew up together, except for the Mikaelson's that arrived to Mystic Falls right at the end of middle school but they fitted in almost instantly. She really liked and cared for all of them, but her real friends, the ones she considered her best friends were always Caroline, Damon and Stefan.

She went to her own dressing room and changed into her clothes quickly. This bridal stuff was fun at first, but a real burden now. She just wanted to be home, studying and not being reminded everyday about having to see Damon in a few months. It was draining to just work everyday on ER and now she wasn't just doing that but also helping Caroline and being reminded everyday day of Damon's come back. It was making it all worst.

She was just happy that the next things like décor and the cake were all between her and her two best friends, they could take her mind off of the gruesome ER stuff and the nerve-wrecking Damon stuff.

-All right, that was something- said Caroline when she got out of her dressing room, the other two girls were still on theirs, so they had some nice minutes alone.

-Yeah, it's hard doing all of these things with such different people, huh?

-You have no idea. I love you all, but you guys are too much sometimes.

-I know, I'm sorry

-Oh, don't worry. I know I am too. When you get married, I'll choose a dress bigger than Rebekah did.

-I don't doubt it- they smiled and looked at each other, but Caroline looked away- what are you hiding?

-I'm not hiding anything per se. I was waiting for the right time to tell you.

-And what do you need to tell me?

-I just got a call from Stefan right before we got here.

-And what did he say? It's everything ok?- asked Bonnie hoping it had nothing to do with more wedding work.

-Yeah- Caroline started playing with her purse's zipper and Bonnie knew this wasn't going to be good news for her- he just got a call from Damon

-What?- asked the brunette feeling like her stomach was tied in knots.

-He wants to throw us an engagement party at the Salvatore house. He said he'd pay for everything and Alaric and Jo are delighted. It's very much a settled thing. But you don't have to go if you don't want to

The air seemed to have left her lungs. This was too unexpected, of course he'd do something like this. Bastard. She thought she had some months before seeing him, but of course he changed that. When was this thing anyway?

-When?- she couldn't let anything else leave her mouth, she was mad. Not at Caroline of course, but at him.

-Next week. He wants to come help with some wedding duties and do the party. He's just going to be here for a week and then he'll be gone. I swear I had no idea, Bonnie

-About what?- asked Lexi leaving her dressing room

-Nothing, why don't you try on the yellow dress on you size, please?

-Oki doki. But you need to tell me after that- she said pointing at Caroline

-Of course, Lex

Bonnie calmed down after that interaction, I mean, she had to stop reacting like that when it came to him. If she wanted to let this thing behind she needed to stop caring so much, plus he was the best man, she would have to face him some day. At least it was just a week and then she'd had Mystic Falls for herself.

-I know it's not your fault, Care. I'm just surprised. I thought I had more time to prepare for his awful presence. Plus I don't have Enzo now to block him, so this will be different- she said wincing. She hated that those men had such a big influence in her life for so long. But not anymore.

-I'm so glad you're taking this so good. I never thought I'd have both of you helping pick decorations and stuff

-Wait, what?

-It fits good, guys. I never thought I'd say this, but good job Bonnie- said Rebekah coming out with her yellow dress- I'll have to spray tan, though

-Let me see- said Lexi coming out with her own dress on, they both looked incredible.

-You look gorgeous girls

-Thanks, Care. Now tell us what you didn't know

Caroline sighed. Lexi was relentless and she would get it out of her anyway, they knew it, so Caroline looked at her best friend like asking for permission and Bonnie nodded.

-We are having an engagement party next week- the blondes looked at her knowing there was more to it, so she just said it very quickly- and Damon is hosting it.

Both of them looked at Bonnie and she just tried to maintain an undisturbed face. She knew that's what it was going to be like at the dinner, so she just closed her eyes and tried to focus on something else.

-Ok ladies, get out of your dresses, because we need to go pay for them- said Caroline looking at them very intensely. She just wanted them to stop bothering her best friend and Bonnie appreciated that.

The girls left and Bonnie turned to Caroline.

-You know what? It's fine. I love you and Stefan and I don't want to get in the way of you guys having a great wedding.

-This is why I love you Bonnie! You're just the best

They hugged each other and then took the dresses to pay for them. The brunette decided she wanted to go shopping for a second dress later. She needed one for the engagement party.

* * *

Bonnie was a little bit nervous. This was her big test. It was one of her days off and she wished she was at home studying for her actual big test, but no, here she was terrified because of her fucking ex-best friend. They were going to see each other after two years and they had to work together to help Caroline and Stefan. Her palms were sweaty and she felt like she needed a drink.

But it was 10 am and this wasn't the time nor the place. She was waiting for them outside of the bakery. Caroline had offered to pick her up, but she just needed some fresh air before it all started.

She saw Caroline's car and her heart started pounding. But she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. It worked up until they parked and the first one to come out of the car was Damon.

-Well, well, well. If it isn't Bon Bon herself- he said with that damn crooked smile and looking cool as a cucumber. She hated that he could just be like that while she was literally loosing it in her mind.

-Hi- she just said dryly and then looked at Caroline- how are you, sweetie?- asked Bonnie now with a soft smile on her face.

-Pretty tired actually- responded Damon at the same time that Caroline and Bonnie hugged to say hi.

-Ha ha, very funny. –replied Bonnie rolling her eyes- Hi Stefan, how could you manage not to go to work today?

-I just told them I had to babysit my big brother. It works every time- said the younger Salvatore with a smile on his face.

-Yeah, maybe your boss has a thing for me. Is she going to the wedding?

-Yes, he's going to the wedding.

-Oh, how old is he? I like to keep my options open- responded Damon with a cocky smile and his arms crossed.

-Shut up, Damon. Let's just go inside- said the bride rolling her eyes and taking her best friend's arm in her hand- this is going to be so good Bonnie, I've been dieting for a few weeks now and I can finally cheat today, so we are going all out

-Come on, Care. You have a killer bod, you don't need to do diets.

-That's exactly what I've been telling her- interrupted Stefan from behind them and Caroline turned to give him a peck on the lips

-Oh, come on kids, I didn't sign up for this kind of content- said Damon wincing.

-Grow up- said Caroline rolling her eyes but smiling.

She didn't realize that Damon and Caroline had a relationship on their own. I mean, of course they did before everything happened and she liked how laid back they were, but she didn't realize that after it all went south between her and him, Caroline still had a relationship with him as the brother of her boyfriend. And also, it seems like, her friend.

She didn't hate it, but she wasn't enjoying it either. Nevertheless, she just had to grow up because her friend's relationships didn't revolve around her, so she just had to accept it and move on.

They said hi to the baker who was with the wedding planner, Nora, discussing size and possible designs. He took them to another room with a table and five seats ready. When they were all set, he started bringing different types of cake.

-Oh my God Care, please try the chocolate one- said Bonnie as soon as she put that one in her mouth.

-Hey, stop acting sexual. We are in the middle of something here- said Damon putting a hand in his chest, acting offended.

-Oh, bite me- she responded before putting more cake on her fork.

-Maybe later

She wasn't looking at him, but she knew he had that stupid smile on his face. She had walked right into that one and she wasn't proud of it, so she decided to just stay quiet for the rest of the appointment.

Everything was going good until Caroline asked her for her favorite flavor.

-You heard the lady, she was moaning over the chocolate cake

-I can respond for myself, you ass. And Care, as much as I liked the chocolate one, the tiramisu one was just perfect.

-I didn't hear you moan over that one, though

-Shut up!- said all three of them

-Ok, wrong audience- he said putting his hands up, giving up and she should've let it die there, but she just couldn't.

-And what kind of audience enjoys your dirty jokes and unsolicited opinions?

-Well, all of my friends in New York, Bonnie. But of course you wouldn't know that

-Yeah? Does Elena do too?- she knew she was overstepping but she really just blurted it out before she could think about it.

They all remained in silence for some minutes. Even the baker and the wedding planner seemed to notice the tension in the air, and Bonnie grew guiltier with every second of him not responding.

-I would comment on your single status, but I'm classy. Unlike you- he finally responded, although the humor had left his voice. He wasn't being aggressive either, but hurt, maybe?

-All right, I think we all like the tiramisu one, right?- asked Caroline to try and lighten the mood, but it didn't quite work.

-Yeah, I think that's it- offered Stefan trying to unite the front.

The other two remained quiet while the soon to be married couple decided on the design of the exterior of the cake along with Nora. They only responded yes or no questions when forced, but the couple seemed to realize that they didn't want to talk more in fear of ruining the appointment.

When they got out, they had to go see and decide on the decorations of the venue but the spirits weren't where they should, so no one knew what to do. Bonnie decided to be the bigger person and asked Damon to talk alone before hopping into the car. Caroline looked scared, but she just let them be.

-All right, my offer is no longer standing so don't get your hopes up- he said when they walked away from the car to have some privacy.

-I know I shouldn't have said that,- she said ignoring his joke when they got to a place far enough- but you need to stop with the sexual comments, I'm not comfortable with you talking to me like that, especially in front of people

She had talked very quickly while looking at the floor before she regretted it and when she finished she dared to take a look at him. He was watching her while propping against a wall, classic chill Damon.

-I see that. I mean, we haven't seen each other in a long time and I didn't know that you still hated me that much. But ok, I get it, I guess- he responded shrugging. Clearly victimizing himself.

-I don't hate you, Damon- she clarified while rolling her eyes- I just don't like that you just speak like that to me in front of everyone. I hate that you just sexualize everything and you don't care about what people will think

-Do you really care that much about what people think about you?

-I'm trying to get a job on the hospital of Mystic Falls Damon. Words get around, I need to have a good image to stand a chance. Plus, we can't just hijack Caroline and Stefan's appointments to fight each other, they should be the center of attention, not us.

-Fair enough. But you have to understand that I kind of need a bit of the spotlight

-I know. And I don't care, just don't drag me in it

He nodded and they spent some time quietly, he seemed to have something else to say but was unsure to proceed. She looked at him expectantly while crossing her arms, preparing for what came next.

-I just realized something. You faced your problem head on. Good job, Bonnie Bennet

He nodded while smiling in such a smug way that Bonnie couldn't just let it pass.

-What do you mean by that?

-That you always run from your problems. That's why I thought that you'd go to New York with me, but apparently the problem wasn't Mystic Falls. It was me- he said looking at her as intensely as he could. Then he just turned around and went to the car, leaving her speechless, which was a hard thing to do.

She decided she needed to calm down and not explode in front of everyone, she hated when he did that, he would just do something unexpected and then turn around and leave. She wanted to tell him to stop but then she'd have to talk about the kiss and she wasn't ready for that. She just wanted to forget that even happened.

She just sighed and decided to go back to Caroline's car and just stop talking altogether. She needed to stop stirring the pot because she wasn't ready for what might come out of it. So she got into the car and only talked to Caroline the whole time they were looking for the decorations. It was hard to just ignore the others, but she felt it was safer like that.

* * *

She got to her house, exhausted and drained emotionally from the awkward day she just had. She got to her bed without even making herself dinner and started dwelling on their relationship, how it used to be and how messed up it was right now.

They used to have a really good time together, they were best friends. And while she tried to fall sleep, she remembered vividly one of the last times they hung out as best friends for a whole day.

_It was one of the best summer days, the one where the sun was shining but it wasn't as hot as when you suffocate and don't want to move. So she and Damon decided to go to a nearby lake. Ever since Damon got his car up and running he had taken her everywhere and she loved every minute of it._

_-So, did you bring your bikini?- he said moving his eyebrows at her_

_-Eyes on the road!-she screamed while grabbing on the seat_

_-Oh, come on, witchy. Don't tell me you're scared of me?_

_-Why would I be scared of you, nerd? I'm scared of you losing the control of the vehicle because you keep looking at me._

_-Well I can't help it, you wore a sundress today _

_She rolled her eyes at him, but couldn't help to smile a little. She put it on expecting to have a reaction from him, but she didn't know it would make her feel as warm and fuzzy inside._

_-Well you should still be looking at the road, Damon. And no, I didn't._

_-Oh, why not? I brought mine_

_-Because I don't want to get hypothermia. The lake is surrounded by mountains, that's where the water comes from. It's freezing._

_-And I'm the nerd?- he smiled crookedly and she felt like punching him in the arm. But she composed herself because she wasn't a fifteen year old anymore and she needed to show him that._

_-Yeah, you love comic books and the marvel movies. So, nerd._

_-Hey! Don't disrespect the art of the graphic novel. Yeez, I thought you were more open minded._

_-I am. But you're still a nerd_

_-Look who says it. The Harry Potter fan._

_-It's gonna be classic literature someday, just wait and see._

_-Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say._

_They spend the rest of the ride with a peaceful silence. That's why they liked traveling alone and not with the lovebirds, because Caroline hated silence and Stefan always tried to make her happy so, they were always talking. She knew it wasn't her friend's fault to feel like that, because when your dad leaves the house while your mom is on police duty and all you hear is silence for 15 hours straight, of course you're gonna hate it._

_Especially if it happened when you were seven years old and you never saw your father again._

_They got to the lake and took their stuff to lay in the sun, it was a nice day and not a lot of people were around, so they got lucky._

_She loved the view of the lake, surrounded by beautiful mighty mountains, telling her how small she was. They just sat on a towel and started playing cards, like they did in these trips._

_-I'm getting ahead of you this time, witchy_

_-That's if you don't let your tell sell you_

_-I do not have a tell_

_-Yes, you do_

_-Then what is it?_

_-Why would I tell you? I'd stop beating you_

_-I fucking hate you- he said with the most adorable smile she had seen him sport. His hair was covering his blue eyes slightly, surrounded with little happiness lines. She felt butterflies in her stomach and had to look away before she said something crazy that would ruin this precious friendship._

_-I do to- she whispered not sounding convincing at all._

_He just looked at her for a while, in silence and she could just feel it, but she wasn't brave enough to lift her head. She knew that if she did she'd just tell him how much she loved these little adventures of them and how much she was going to miss him when he'd go to New York. She couldn't let him go there alone and being bitter, so she had to hide her feelings for the time being._

_-So? Anything you'd like to tell me?_

_He could totally see through her and she hated it. So she just stood up and run to the water to feel the cold water on her feet._

_-Come on_

_-All right. I know something's bugging you, but if you rather feel the freezing water, fine._

_-Just come enjoy this with me, please- she said looking back at him, at the same time as he started walking towards her. She kind of felt like in a movie, but she couldn't let him see that._

_-Shit. It's fucking freezing- he whined when he finally got to her side._

_-I told you so_

_-I told you so- he mocked her while rolling his eyes and she just scrunched her face at him. He smiled again and pulled her in for a hug- if you need to tell me something, I'm right here Bonnie._

_-I know, Damon. I... I just don't want to burden you, that's all- she answered with her head buried in his chest_

_-You are my best friend Bennet, you're not a burden at all_

_She smiled while lifting her head and for a moment, she let herself believe she could just let him know everything. All of her heart's desires. Her wanting for him to stay, her wanting to be more than just friends, her wanting to travel the world with him. _

_But it was all just her. She didn't know how he felt and she was incredibly scared of losing him if he found out. So she decided to just let him know a part of the truth._

_-I'll just… miss you_

_It was just a whisper and Damon smiled crookedly at her, as usual, making her smile for real._

_-I know you will. I'd miss me too… and I'll miss you- he kissed her in the forehead and they just remained in silence looking at the water move on the lake in front of them._

_She hated that they were all sad before the separation happened because of her so she pulled away to went look for her camera, she knew he loved being in front of the lens and that would cheer them up._

_-Ok, sad times are over, let's have a photoshoot._

_-Great, I'm dying to become a New York model_

_She got to the towel with her stuff and it and took the polaroid camera he had given her for her birthday. She started taking photos of the landscape before taking a picture of him looking all melancholic._

_-Come on, give me more. I got film for ten pictures, you know. You need to give me all kinds of looks, not just sad. No one wants ten sad pictures._

_-Actually I want to take pictures of you, Bonnie. I always look great in every pose so it isn't a challenge to you as a photographer. But taking a good picture of you before you get embarrassed and start making weird faces? That's the challenge._

_She scrunched her face at him once again. But let him have the camera. They spent the rest of the day trying to make her feel comfortable in front of him and before they knew it was starting to get dark. So he took a last picture of her on the sunset and decided to keep that one, he said it was only fair because he had aced the challenge._

_Then they drove off back home. _

She could see it all again, the mountains, the water, the stunning sunset colors, Damon and his sweet smiles, she could even hear the click of the camera when he photographed her. She felt the heat from the sun and from her embarrassment from being in front of the lens.

It was such a stark contrast with the way they treated each other now. Always distant, always mad, always trying to one up the other. But she wasn't mad right now, she was just sad. She let herself feel the cold from his attitude for the first time in years.

It was as fucking freezing as the water that day.

* * *

Ok! I hope you guys liked it, I thought it was time to show why these guys feel so strongly about each other, how it used to be and how it is now. I hope you guys liked it and if so reviews are always welcome :)

Also shotout to a Guest who left a review asking me to put something to show a change of scene, because I thought I had, in the word document the separation is there but fan fiction didn't pick up on it I don't know why but now I figured it out and I hadn't noticed so thank you!

I really like reading your comments guys, even if they are rants or just you saying you like the story, they keep me wanting to write more. Now if you'd like to have a conversation, you could ask on tumblr and I could rant with you or something, speaking of, I messed up and put the bridesmaids choices last week, instead of now, but anyways, the dresses are there bamon-iridescence. tumblr. com

Hope you guys have a nice week and you guys like this chapter :)


	4. Chapter 4

IV. She just hated him.

She made it late to the dinner, but still looked gorgeous, even if she said so herself. Make up was such a gift from the gods to hide all of her exhaustion and the non-slept hours.

She had bought a long black dress. It had long sleeves with little see through details over the arms and the chest, but that was just for cuteness, it wasn't hot or anything. What was hot was the big slit on the skirt, which came all the way up to her thigh. She paired that with a pair of black and silver shoes and let her hair on place with a loose braid.

The house was already filled with people when she came in, everyone was chatting while standing around being served champagne and some light snacks before the main event. She tried to find her best friend but found another blonde instead.

-Wow Bonnie, you decided to let your leg have fun today- said Lexi with a suggestive smile.

-Yes and you decided to buy the white dress, I see

-Yeah, it was the perfect excuse- she smiled at her and Bonnie just decided to let go the animosity between them. Lexi was just blunt and didn't think before she spoke, but she meant well- I just wanted to apologize for making you feel weird

-Well…you… wow… I wasn't expecting that- she admitted with a smile

-I can totally take it back if you want me to

-No, no. I like it. I just didn't think you would

-Yeah… I just forgot what it was like between you two. The fights and all that. It's been so long since you haven't talk to him that I thought that maybe if I told you everything… you guys would… you know, finally come to terms with what happened and we'd all be friends again. I guess it was just wishful thinking.

-It's ok. I understand that nothing's been the same since we stopped talking. But things are still going to be awkward if you sleep with Klaus

-Nah, we have already. This is just our way of getting through all of this.

-WHAT?!

-You never realized? Why else would we sneak out together?

-To smoke weed?

-I mean, yeah, but also. There's nothing like stoned sex

-Ok, ok. I really don't need to know that kind of detail. I appreciate you apologizing, though. I'll try to take it easy on him, maybe that way we can all hang out someday

-That'd be great- said Lexi with a little smile. Bonnie wasn't used to seeing her looking vulnerable, it made her younger looking. It suited her- Oh. I can't not tell you this though, as soon as Damon saw you he spit his drink so… all right, bye

That definitely surprised Bonnie. Especially because she could now feel a pair of eyes on her and she could tell who's eyes it was. Her heart started racing, but her face seemed calm, which was all she could ask of herself.

-So, you kind of look witchier. I dig it- said Damon to her back, of course Lexi left because he was coming over.

-Yeah, you'd like anything that can be made into a triple x fantasy- she said while turning around. He looked hot in a suit. But that wasn't a surprise, he always looked hot. Bastard.

-Ah, you know me so well. I wasn't going to go with the sexy comments, since you despise them so much but since you brought it up, it is kind of a fantasy of mine to be subdued by a witch.

He was awfully close and that wasn't good for her concentration, she almost smiled at his comment, but she caught herself and rolled her eyes instead. Good thing was that at least with the heels on he wasn't as tall so her neck wasn't suffering that much.

-So, when do we start eating? I'm starving

-After blondie makes her big entrance. Should be soon, though

They stayed silent, for once there wasn't animosity between them so it felt good to just be quiet and look around the room. She could feel his eyes on her though, and that wasn't making her more comfortable.

-Mmm... I… am going to make myself a drink, smell ya later

She knew that wasn't the smoothest exit and it kind of made her feel like an idiot. Especially after listening at his soft laugh behind her. He knew the effect he had in her and it made her angry. She just wished she had that effect on him too.

Well, according to Lexi, she did.

So she decided to try something. She took some champagne from a waiter and wandered around while looking at the guys in the room. Most of them were her friends, so of course she wasn't going to flirt with them, but maybe she could do that with Stefan's co-workers. Or Caroline's.

There was a very hot guy looking at her from a distance. She looked back at him and that was all it took from him to come to her. Well, that was easy. She still had it.

-Hello there, I'm Jamie- he said kissing her hand. Kind of charming and kind of sappy, to be honest.

-Hi, Bonnie. Are you friends with Stefan or Caroline?- she asked while feeling a pair of familiar eyes on her. She looked up and yes, there he was. Very angry and determined eyes were fixated on her while he drank from his glass. Point for Bonnie.

-Stefan, we work together at the law firm- responded Jamie making her attention come back to him. He was very cute. Tall, dark and grey eyes. Also a very beautiful smile. Maybe this could be more than a test for Damon, he seemed to have a similar idea in mind and she had spent a long time away from human contact.

-Oh, that must be exhausting.

-Not really, when you like what you do.

-Yeah, I know. I'm finishing my residency on ER and as awful as it is sometimes I just love being able to be there

-Yeah, that must be hard

She was going to say something but someone collided with Jamie and spilled all of his drink on his vest.

-Damon!- she screamed, of course it was him.

-What? Oh Bonnie, I'm so sorry I spilled on your date. I'm just so clumsy- he said not convincing at all. She hated that guy sometimes.

-Oh, yeah? You never spill good bourbon. That just doesn't happen.

-You guys know each other?

-Yeah, he's Stefan's brother- responded Bonnie before chugging the whole glass of champagne.

-Well… I guess I'll just make myself scarce now- he said surprising her but delighting Damon, apparently, who smiled content.

-What? Why?

-Because I have to clean this up and I don't want to get in the way between you two

-What do you mean?- she asked him while he disappeared- what the fuck Damon?

-What? I made you a favor, that loser's a coward. You can do much better

-I don't need your help, Damon- she turned around to stay away from him, she was starting to get angry again.

-Oh, come on, Bon Bon. I'll help you find someone better suited

-I don't want you to!- she almost screamed while turning to face him startling some people around them- also I just wanted to have a nice conversation with a guy and maybe go home with him after and I don't need you to approve of men for me. I need you to stay away.

-Well… you were boring him to death with you ER thingy. I think I might've saved him

He seemed a bit defensive but more taken aback. And she was more pissed than she cared to admit. Which was weird considering she started it all. She knew that but she just hated that he still felt like he could influence her decisions or anything in her life.

Which meant, she proved her hypothesis and she hated the outcome.

-I don't need your help, Damon- she repeated calmer now before turning around, she was afraid that he was going to follow her again but Caroline made her big entrance, coming down the stairs with a huge blue dress on and they all went on to sit on their respective tables.

She was of course in the same table as the bride and groom and best man. Good thing was that the whole court was there too, so at least the other people kept the conversation going long enough for her to not have to talk.

-Are you ok, Bonnie?- asked Caroline after her not speaking for at least twenty minutes.

-Yeah, I'm just tired- her friend looked at her with doubts so she reassured her- I had to take a double shift to be here today, so I worked twenty hours straight. I did sleep at least five hours before getting here, though, so you don't need to worry.

-Of course I worry. Why didn't you tell me, we could've worked things out

-What for? You'd still make her work on your wedding on her days off- interrupted Damon before drinking all the contents of his glass.

That made Caroline look down, seemingly guilty so she decided to take her friends hand and squeeze it to make her feel better.

-It's ok. I'm ok. I chose this- she smiled at her best friend and she seemed to believe her. As she should, it was all true. She was exhausted but she was also very happy about helping her friend. And about tonight, she had to make some arrangements with some colleagues but she made it and that had given her the energy to get there and try to have a good time.

It had worked out until her little fight with Damon. Maybe that's why it drove her over the edge in such little time. She was exhausted, it had been an awful shift and when she was finally forgetting about it with a new guy he came and destroyed her chances of getting laid and getting all of the stress out of her body.

Yeah, that's probably why. It wasn't because she secretly wished he offered himself instead.

Nah. She was mad at him for continually screwing her over with the excuse of helping. Like what he just did, making Caroline feel bad for needing her maid of honor, that wasn't cool.

She could feel him looking at her, so she gathered all of her anger and looked back.

Damn it. He looked like a sad puppy. For real, though. This wasn't just a way of getting himself off the hook, he actually looked sorry. And just like that all of her anger went away.

Damn it. She really hated him sometimes.

* * *

-Thank you all for being here, celebrating this amazing new journey with us- said Stefan before everyone clapped.

He and Caroline were saying their toasts to finish the party. It had gone great, actually. When the dessert got to the table, Damon gave his to Bonnie, making everyone look at him with secret smiles. He just blurted out "peace offering" and Stefan made a toast to his brother for actually growing up.

They all knew it was so that the tension and the looks disappeared. Stefan was a good brother like that.

So with two chocolate cakes on her belly and a shit ton of champagne she was feeling amazing. She had started talking and joking and things went a lot smoother.

-We'll see you at the wedding rehearsal- said Caroline finishing off the thankful toast and everyone clapped and laughed, before starting to stand up.

-It was amazing, Care. And I love your dress.

-I love yours too!- screamed the blonde while hugging her, clearly the champagne had gotten to her.

-You do look gorgeous, Bonnie- said Jamie behind them. Caroline smiled and just left them alone without saying anything. She could just laugh at her drunken and not subtle best friend.

-Thank you, Jamie.

-You know, I wasn't sure if I should make a move on you after what Klaus said, but I just think you're too damn beautiful for me to ruin my opportunity.

-I'm sorry, what? What did Klaus say?

-Oh… nothing, can we focus on the other part?- he said looking every part of her body but her eyes.

-Tell me- she demanded taking a step forward and looking at him as intimidating as possible.

-Ok, fine… he said that you were just out of a long distance relationship and that you'd probably be looking for a rebound guy. I thought that maybe, you'd be too clingy or talking about him or something and then Damon showed up and I thought that meant he called dibs on you… I didn't know what to do, but since you told Damon you only want to have a one night stand…

-When did I say that?- she said starting to feel furious, these damn men would be the death of her.

-When he threw his drink at me, I mean… I'm sorry… are we on the same page?

-No. Get the fuck out of my face.

-But-

-You heard the lady. "Make yourself scarce" – said Damon from behind her, of course he was there again.

Jamie left and Bonnie felt like kicking every men on earth on the balls.

-Did you know?- she said with her back at him.

He stayed quiet for a bit so she turned around and looked at him in the eyes. He seemed pissed, but also a little bit wary.

-It's Klaus. He's an asshole, what did you expect?

-I didn't ask you that

-Ok- he sighed and put his hand on his hips, ready for her attack- yes, he said it to all of Stefan's colleagues when you came in.

-Why the fuck didn't you just tell me?

-Oh, so now you actually wanted my help? Didn't you say you didn't need it?

-Oh, for fucks sake. Why did you interrupt us and spilled bourbon on him instead of just telling me he was an asshole?- she was speaking too loud and she was well aware, but there weren't people around them anymore and she was even more mad than she was before.

-Because you wouldn't have believed me. I thought that if I did it, he'd just understand that you were off limits.

-So you preferred to assert your dominance instead of just let me make my own choices?

-What? Would've you slept with him?

-I don't know Damon but that's my decision and you shouldn't be here making it for me- she said trying to calm down because she felt like she was about to explode

-I was protecting you

-I DON'T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP! – she screamed before she could stop herself- I'VE SURVIVED EIGHT YEARS WITHOUT YOU DAMON. I SURVIVED MED-SCHOOL, MY GRAMS DYING, MY PATIENTS DYING, MY FIRST RELATIONSHIP FAILING! EVERYTHING! I … I survived everything without you.

They fell into a silence and as unexpected as her outburst was, the tears started streaming down her face also were. She felt suffocated, like the walls were closing on her, she needed to leave the house. She left Damon standing there alone and started walking home. She wanted to run, but those stupid heels would kill her ankles if she tried.

Those screams had surprised even her. She knew she used to have feelings like those before but she thought they were gone. She thought that after all those years she had gotten over it.

Apparently not .

She couldn't stop the tears from coming and she was one second away from starting sobbing on the street, God, why did she use those heels? If it wouldn't hurt her feet she'd take them off.

She hated that she was feeling like that even after eight years, she hated that it still hurt her so much and that he could trigger her so hard. She was mess and she knew it and worst of all, Damon knew it.

A car stopped by her side and she hid her face.

-Hey Bonnie- whispered Stefan very quietly, while getting out of the car.

She wanted to keep walking, but she also just wanted to be held by someone who knew her and loved her despite everything.

-I'm so sorry- she said before throwing herself into his arms. He held her tight and rocked her while she started sobbing.

-You have nothing to be sorry about

They remained like that until Bonnie could finally calm herself. She pulled away embarrassed.

-Do you want to get in the car? I bet those shoes are killing you- he said with a soft smile. He was the best at comforting people. She nodded and they got inside of the car. As soon as she could she took her heels off and he started the car to get her home.

-I'm actually sorry, Stefan

-And you actually have nothing to be sorry about

-Yes, I do. I made a scene. And it wasn't even worth it, it was such a stupid thing and I blew it out of proportion.

-I think you had just kept things inside of you for too long and this was just the last straw. You have been working your ass off on ER, now with us to help with the wedding stuff and on top of that my brother decided to come and stress you even more. Of course you exploded, Bonnie. I actually think you handled it quiet well.

-Yeah?- she said with a sad smile- I think I yelled at Damon for something that I shouldn't have. It wasn't the time nor the place.

-It never is. My brother is a handful. You, out of all people know that and after dealing with him for years you finally snapped. It happens to the best of us.

-You too?

-Oh yeah- he nodded a little too enthusiastically, but didn't add anything to that topic- But you need to now that he means well, he's not a dick just to be a dick.

-I used to think that but I'm not so sure anymore.

-Well… - he sighed- he makes bad choices, but he cares about you. He has a weird way of showing it, though.

-What makes you say that? What if he just enjoys patronizing me?

-Well, take this for example. We only heard screams, I didn't know what was going on and before I could come down stairs he was on my bedroom door begging me to come get you, so you'd get home safe.

She wasn't expecting that at all, she thought Stefan heard everything and went after her to clean up his brother's mess. But apparently he did care a bit.

-Ok, he's still a dick though. He could've come himself.

-He said he was sure you wouldn't accept a ride from him.

Well, the son a bitch knew her. She was never going to get on a car with him right after she yelled at him for abandoning her, because let's be honest, they all knew what those screams were really about. She let out years of resentment and pain out in the open for him to see. He knew now what she truly felt like. Like he abandoned her. Just like her mother.

Oh God. This was definitely something to dwell on later, right now she didn't have the energy.

They got to her house and she sighed relieved, only problem was, she had to put those damn shoes on again.

-Thank you Stefan. You are a great friend.

-Hold on, my duty is not over yet- he said before getting out of the car and coming to her side- hop on

-What?

-Yeah, I'll give you a piggy ride, it's been years. I kinda miss it- he said with his back on her and his knees bent. She just smiled and hopped on his back- well this got a bit harder

-That's because we're older- she said between laughs. God she loved her friends, they always made her feel better.

-Yeah, and I can't go to the gym anymore, there's no time.

He got her safe inside of her house and they hugged one last time. Then, she got inside and drank two glasses of water, because with all of the alcohol plus the tears, she knew she'd be dehydrated tomorrow and she had to work in the afternoon so she couldn't just let herself have a hungover.

She took a bottle of water to her bedroom and an advil just to be sure. She was incredibly tired and emotionally drained to care about her pajamas so she just took her clothes off and slept on her underwear and as soon as she covered herself she felt asleep.

* * *

The next day was a good day, a night shift. So she could sleep until her body decided to stop and then she ate some Thai food she got delivered.

The shift was a regular one, not many emergencies that night. A few minor things, but one of those was a toddler with a broken arm, so her head was about to explode because of his crying. She was out at six am.

Another person who was outside of the hospital at six am was Damon. She immediately felt like turning back and hiding inside the hospital until he got bored and left, but she decided to be more mature and walked right past him.

-I know I'm the last person you want to see right now Bonnie, but I need to talk to you before I go.

-I don't need a ride, Damon- she responded without stopping and she could feel him walking behind her.

-But you could use one, I bet you're really tired.

God, this man was relentless. Her phone had at least thirty missed calls from him and he didn't seem to take the hint that she didn't picked up for a reason.

-I don't want to. I want to walk home alone, so please leave me alone.

-Oh come on, Bonnie. Imagine I'm just your uber ride, you get on my car, I talk, let you in your house and then you forget about me for months.

-Or I can just forget about you now

-All right, I'll walk with you then

-I just want to walk home alone, Damon- she stopped to look at him in the eyes for the next part, pleading him to leave her alone with one look- today's been a very long day, I just finished a twelve hour shift and I really need to stop arguing with you and just be on my bed.

-Then the more reason I take you home in my car. We don't need to argue, Bonnie. We can talk like grown ups. I just really need to say this.

She just started to walk away from him without any answer, but he followed her, a few steps behind. She turned around starting to get mad.

\- What part did you not understand Damon?

-The part where you'd rather walk home alone and get yourself robbed or killed instead of having me walk in silence behind you

-Nothing ever happens in Mystic Falls, I don't need your protection

-Didn't you say that you were twelve hours on ER? That sounds like an eventful town to me, Bonnie. You've seen people die, too. So I'm not taking any chances.

She hated it, but he was right. She stopped feeling safe at night after working at ER in the hospital. So she just gave up, she was too tired to keep fighting, and her rational side knew she should just go with him to his car.

-Fine, but we're taking your car.

-Yes!- he said smiling and taking his keys out to open the car.

-Oh and I don't wanna talk about what happened the other night.

-You won't. I'll take you to your house while I speak and you just listen.

She nodded and they started walking towards the car, once they got there he opened the door for her. He was obviously trying to be charming, the bastard. She shouldn't really be mad, because she knew she owed him an apology too, but she just hated how he imposed himself like that, never taking a no for an answer. He always drove her over the edge.

He got into the car and turned to her with a determined look in his eyes.

-Ok, first of all, you were right. I should've told you about Klaus' stupid comments and I should've told you that that idiot was there because of said comments. I shouldn't have made your decision for you, since you're a grown up and you don't need my help and haven't need it in a while.

He said it all very fast and it seemed rehearsed. It made sense actually, he probably realized he messed up when he saw her crying so he tried to make her feel better telling her exactly what she wanted to hear and he didn't want to let anything out of his apology.

That didn't really made her feel better, though. She was right, he messed up. Ok, and? It felt flat. But she didn't want to keep discussing the issue anymore, because the issue wasn't what he thought it was. The issue was he abandoned her and neither of them were ready to discuss that.

She didn't respond and he sighed and started the car as promised.

-Why haven't you taken your car to New York? -She asked after a silence

-Because there's no use to having a car in New York- he responded somewhat surprised it seemed, he was expecting something else from the apology, apparently. But she wasn't going to give him what he wanted.

-Then why haven't you sold it?

-Are you crazy? This is my baby. My first project and the thing that inspired my business

That was right. Damon started his own bussiness from scratch by buying old, damaged cars and turning them into treasures. I mean, of course, having the Salvatore money helped, but it was still impressive that he took that and turned it into a profitable enterprise, with employees and everything. She didn't want to tell him that she admired that about him, so she just decided to change the subject and ask him something she had been dying to ask.

-Why are you on Mystic Falls Damon?

-What? – that seemed to take him by surprise, but he recovered soon enough- Can't I do something nice for my little brother? Do you really think I'm such an asshole that I need an ulterior motive?

-Well, you haven't done anything like it, ever. So, of course I have my doubts

-I made Elena a party for her birthday once

-All right. You haven't done anything like it for any of us, the ones you left behind- his jaw tightened. She knew he hated the term but she couldn't help to use it, that's how it felt. She knew it made room for him to address her meltdown but she didn't care, she felt courageous.

-Why would I do that before? Nothing good ever happens in your lives - she knew he said that to get back at her, but after a silence he started being more honest- But now my brother is marrying his high school sweetheart. Terrible decision if you ask me. Not because of her, but because he hadn't been with many women. But he seemed happy, so I decided to join on the fun.

-I think it's romantic. I mean, when you know you just know. You don't need to date much to know who's your soulmate- she argued defending her friends.

-Was it like that with Enzo?- she looked at him confused, he was asking a serious question though and he had been honest before so she felt like she had to answer. After all, she started all of this.

-At first it was. But we couldn't take the whole distance relationship thing. And Elena? Is she your soulmate?

-Nah. I loved her and she loved me, but she was also with me because she was trying to rebel against her parents. And then she was trying to change me in every way she could.

-Im sorry to hear that- she whispered surprised at how much he had opened up with her, maybe her outburst inspired him to start being more honest. Or maybe he just needed to talk.

-Me too

They remained in silence until they arrived to her house. He pulled over and she decided to try it one more time

-Can you be truthful with me and tell me why you decided to throw this party and come here months before the ceremony?

His jaw tightened and he got out of the car to get her door open. He took her hand to help her out of it and started walking her to the door.

\- I wanted to see you- he responded once they got to her porch.

\- What? Why?

\- Because Stefan told me you were single again. He also told me you'd been killing yourself between the hospital shifts and this wedding. I wanted to know how you were doing. And I know I shouldn't talk about it, but for the looks of it, you don't seem to be doing so well.

She sighed, hating that he was right in the last part. But was it true, though? Was he here to check on her? She looked at him looking for a lie or a joke but there wasn't any. He was telling her the truth and she didn't know how to feel about it.

-Why did you need to check up on me?

-Because now that he's gone we can actually have conversations again

-Don't put the blame on him, Damon. We had stopped talking long before he appeared in my life

-True. But there was still a little bit of banter.

They stayed quiet for a bit, until Bonnie realized she didn't have anything else to say.

-I think it's better if I just go inside now

-Ok. Just one last thing- he said taking a step forward- make that two. Stop letting blondie take over your free time. You deserve to rest, I know you feel like you have to constantly be there for everyone, but you don't. She's an adult, she can candle herself.

She hated that he still knew her so well. He was right, she felt like she had to be there all the time for her friends, and that was starting to take a toll on her.

-Thank you. As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. And the second thing?

-You look beautiful on your white coat- he whispered before turning around and getting into the car.

She hated that man most of the time. She hated that he always said something to startle her right before leaving, so he didn't have to explain himself.

She decided to just go inside to sleep. She didn't have to talk to him anymore, she had months now to just be alone with her thoughts and study and work and get him out of her mind. She hated that they talked a little for a few days, but he could still read her like a book and stun her like that. She was feeling like she did all those years ago.

She was used to keep everything bottled down, everything under control, she only cried alone on her house when she just couldn't keep it together anymore, but he always had her on edge. He made her smile, scream, laugh, cry, fluster and get so angry.

She also hated that she hadn't realized that the reason why she was so hurt by it all was her own abandonment issues. She was usually smart about these things. Although it was probably harder when it was you, who you had to analyze.

She stopped herself from thinking again and tried to sleep as much as her body needed. Actually, scratch that, as much as her body could, she had been treating it unfairly lately and she needed to give it some love.

Her mind drifted soon enough, but not before she could hear his complement in her mind again. She really did hate him.

Right?

* * *

Hi guys! I hope you enjoyed that rollercoaster. I know a lot of you picked up on the fact that there were some deeper things going on in the fall out and that they couldn't be that mad just to be mad. I wanted to give you the same mindset as Bonnie, so that you could realize it at the same time as her, because she usually just keep going, trying not to think about stuff and then when she finally does it hits her like a ton of bricks. Also one of you pointed out in the reviews that ER people thrived under pressure and Bonnie doesn't seem to be this way with the matters of her personal life but she's just on residency, she's still not making the decisions, and we are going to adress that in a few episodes but I thought that if it bugged someone I should at least give you something to work with.

I'm thinking about uplouding tuesdays and having a sneak peak on mondays on the tumblr. In case anyone wants to see that :) Also the picture of Bonnie's dress is going to be there as well soon enough.

Anyway, I love reading your reviews! Thank you so much, they keep me going :) And if you want to have a conversation you can always send me an ask on the tumblr blog :)

Happy reading!


	5. Chapter 5

V. The storm

After months and months of studying and helping Caroline on her free time, she had finally done the big test to become a certified doctor. She had been texting with Damon since he went back to New York, trying to maintain a shallow friendship so they don't have more "butting heads" moments on the days close to the wedding.

Their last interaction had left her worried, thought. He had sent her a text out of the blue at three a.m. on a Saturday

_**I think we should stop being immature babies. For Stefan's sake. And blondie's.**_

_You're right. I still haven't forgave you, but in the name of our old friendship I can bury the hatchet for the wedding._

_**Good, because I wasn't going to give you a break much longer than that.**_

_It doesn't matter. You'll be in New York after this, so I couldn't care less_

_**Well you should care, because I'm thinking about opening a franchise, so obviously the first place where we'll start business besides New York is there. And guess who's dying to make you regret those words?**_

She was fucked. But she decided to put that in the back of her mind while she studied for her test and helped Caroline with the wedding. Plus, he was obviously sending someone else there, he had a life in New York, he was just trying to get under her skin.

Anyways, June was finally here and she was waiting for the results. Finally, after years and years of hard work she would be able to call herself a Doctor. She was ecstatic and nervous. If she didn't pass, she didn't know what she'd do and if she did, she had no idea either.

Caroline was busy but had sent her a text wishing her luck. She was rereading it when another text got to her phone

_**Hey witchy, I hope you're doing ok with all the stress. You'll get the best score of them all, I'm sure. I already bribed them.**_

Damon? It was weird. She hadn't told him that the results where due that day. She couldn't help but to smile, though, she kind of needed that.

_How did you know?_

_**I told you, I bribed them. Jk, Blondie posted it on Instagram.**_

Oh God. She looked for her best friend's Instagram page and she had uploaded an insta story wishing her good luck, it was a picture of them when they were 18 and just getting into college. She smiled wider.

_Well, thank you. I hope I don't have to pay you back for the bribe_

_**Nah, you just need to not step on my feet when we dance.**_

_Done._

She looked at her phone with a small smile and saw that the results were already online. Her smile transformed into a fine tight line and her eyes widened as she looked for her name in the list with the results.

Her heart was racing and her phone wasn't really secure in her hands as they were sweaty and clumsy but she found the only _Bennet_ in the list. She took a deep breath and looked at the final score.

She had passed. And with a very good score.

She let out a scream of joy a started dancing happily on her living room. God she was so ecstatic, she felt like she was walking (or dancing) on a cloud.

_**And?**_

_I PASSD! OH MY GDD DMON I DID JTT_

She wasn't writing as well as usual but she didn't care, she was finally a doctor and no one could take that away from her.

_**Congratulations witchy, see? Told you. You are the best. Even though you write like shit.**_

She laughed out loud at how weird this was. The first person she told was Damon? Really? They hadn't spoken for years and now he was the first to know she was officially a doctor?

It felt weird, but not the kind that makes you uneasy. It was the kind that made the air feel in your lungs inexistent and your stomach filled with butterflies.

Ok, it was time she texted Caroline and Stefan and a few of her co-workers.

She told everyone she had to tell but she didn't feel quite as excited as she did telling him, which made sense really, since she was talking to him and he was distracting her from how nervous she was.

Yeah, that was totally the reason.

Caroline texted that she was coming over with Stefan and champagne to celebrate as soon as they could. She loved the idea, but she couldn't help but to feel that it would've been much better if Damon was coming with them as well.

She hated that he still had such a big pull on her. But he was very important to her while growing up.

She remembered him as being the reason she wanted to get out of bed when her mother "went to another state to work". She left her with her Grams, sold the house to pay for her new life and told her that she'd come back on summer and maybe try to transfer her there when she had settled in.

About a month later they stopped getting calls from her and when they went to look for her, they discovered she had never gone to New Orleans. She didn't live where she said she did. She had just abandoned her.

She was ten. Her dad had died the year before and her mother hadn't really recovered from it, so she thought that maybe going to another state would help her move on. It helped too much apparently.

Her Grams worked hard for her to feel loved and to not have financial needs. She was so proud of her for getting into med-school. She just wished she could tell her she was finally a doctor now.

Her eyes started watering and she decided to focus on something else before she started crying, it was a good day, a happy day. She had to be happy.

She remembered the time when she finally accepted that her mom wasn't coming back. She cried herself to sleep every night for a whole month. She tried to not show how sad she was to the world, and apparently, everyone believed she was taking it good. Except for Damon.

He started picking her up to go to school on his bike. Everyday, he would knock on her door when she was brushing her teeth and everyday her Grams would give him an apple as a gift. He used to say that that was the reason for him picking her up.

He helped her get better. She didn't want to go to school or to wake up at all for a few days after her mom decided she wasn't enough to stay on Mystic Falls or to take with her, but knowing that he was out there, waiting for her made her stand up and go on.

At first she kind of resented him for making her get out of bed every day, but then it started making her happy, seeing him talking to her Grams when she got out of the bathroom each morning, with his blue eyes full of life and excitement for the day ahead. Some of that joy started rubbing off on her and she started feeling better about life in general.

At first it was just him doing the talking on their way to school, but as the time passed she started feeling better and talking more. They talked about anything and everything. Classes, their classmates, tv shows, UFO's, conspiracy theories, you name it. He would come home with her when they got out of school as well. And sometimes he hung out with her on her Grams house.

So when his parents died in a car accident, she was there for him every step of the way. He used to say that it was ironic, how they were best friends and both lost their parents. She never told him she hated that, because her mom decided to leave her, unlike her dad and his parents.

People looked at them like they were freaks for a while, because they were both orphans and always together. He made sure no one looked at Stefan that way, though. He could take it, but he hated that people treated his brother differently because of their loss.

That's when they started getting really close, because no one else knew what it was like. Caroline could feel the abandonment as she did, but the blonde still had her loving mom. Damon understood what it was to not have parents.

A memory came to her mind from the first anniversary of Damon's parents dying. Stefan had insisted on going to the cemetery but Damon decided to just go to a park instead and Bonnie tagged along.

_They were sitting on a pair of swings. It was cold and cloudy, but she was just happy to be there with her friend, even when he wasn't talking that much. It seemed like he hadn't slept for a few days now, with dark circles making a stark contrast against his pale skin and lost eyes._

_He seemed absent, moving barely his feet to move the swing and looking at the ground like he was looking for answers._

_-Why did you want to come here, Damon?_

_She thought he wasn't going to respond but she needed to know that he wasn't falling apart inside and she didn't know how else to make him open up to her._

_-Because this was our favorite park growing up. Mom used to be with me, here, and dad was always with Stefan, on that sand box. He was always much more social, so he wanted to be there with the other kids and my dad always followed him. He was scared that he was going to get hurt, because he was so much more sensitive than I was. Mom used to say that it would be the other way around, because I was sensitive but never really showed it and it hurt me more._

_-She was right. You always try to put on a façade, but you're a very sensitive guy_

_-No, I'm not. I'm a macho- he said furrowing his brows, making her smile._

_-Even now, you try to seem strong. But it's ok Damon, I still cry every anniversary of my dad's death._

_He stayed quiet for a while, not looking at her and clearly biting his lips from inside of his mouth. _

_-Do you think they can see us? Like... If there's a heaven, do you think they can look down on us?- he asked suddenly and very quietly._

_-I hope so. I'd like for my father to know that I'm doing fine_

_-I wouldn't go as far as to say you're doing fine, but go on_

_-I think I'm doing better than he could expect. I was a daddy's girl. _

_-Yeah… I think he would be proud of you too. Sorry _

_-It's fine. I think your parents would be proud of you as well. _

_They stayed silent after that. The only noise was the one of the chains of the swings. He was still looking to the ground._

_-But what if they didn't go to heaven? _

_-Why wouldn't they?_

_-I don't know. It was just an idea._

_She stood up and walked towards his swing, making him take his eyes off the ground._

_-Stand up- she demanded and he obliged, suspicious of her._

_-Why?_

_-Because you need something- she said before hugging him. He froze for a few seconds, they were friends and they had each other's backs all the time, but they weren't big on physical contact. Either way, he hugged her back and buried his head into her neck. He was just a little bit taller than she._

_They stayed like that for a few minutes, making her worry that she had broken him, but when he pulled away, he looked less tortured, he had a few tears coming down but he wasn't as miserable as before._

_-I didn't know you did hugs. I've been wasting my time here, behaving myself- he joked with a smile that finally kind of reached his eyes. _

_-I don't do hugs, only on special occasions._

_-Like death anniversaries?-he asked with a crooked smile, his humor was back._

_-Yeah_

_They left the park soon after, feeling warmer than when they arrived._

That day, though, changed their relationship forever. After that day Damon started making up excuses every day for more physical contact, saying everyday was a special occasion.

It started with the little things, like him putting his hand in the small of her back when he was walking past her, hugging her from the side when walking down the school corridors or slight touches in her arms when she least expected it. Until she finally gave in and started reciprocating these "accidental/minimal touches" as he called them.

They started hugging more, standing closer to each other, sitting closer to each other, until it was second nature being into each other's personal space.

That's why no one could blame her for having a crush on him. They were always together, they knew everything about each other and they were all up into each other's personal bubble. That could make everyone question their true feelings.

So she had a crush on him? Big deal. Every girl in Mystic Falls had a crush on him and they didn't even know him like she did.

The rational part of her brain wanted to call her out on her bullshit. Those girls had crushed on him because they didn't know him. She had feelings for him. The real him.

Her doorbell rang and she almost jumped out of her seat, feeling as if someone caught her saying that out loud. She remembered her friends were here to celebrate so she calmed herself, tried to remember that they couldn't read her mind and went on to open the door.

* * *

-This is such a milestone, Bonnie I'm so proud of you- said Stefan while serving them champagne.

-I knew you'd ace this test Bonnie, didn't I tell you? You're so amazing

-Caroline, I'm already your maid of honor, you don't need to suck up to me anymore

-I'm not doing that! I'm just super happy right now! Being on real life emergencies has really helped you grow up

-What do you mean?

-You're much more assertive now. Remember how you'd always run away from confrontation? Especially since the New York fiasco… But lately, you've been more of a badass.

-Well… Maybe it's helped but it's not like I have done that much confrontation on ER. I don't call the shots yet on any of my patients. I'm a resident still so another doctor decides what's best for them. I'm a subordinate. But they had asked me what I'd do and that has helped me come up with quick ideas and not to hesitate so much, so maybe it was helped me improve with that on my personal life.

-Yeah, you're more mature since getting into residency- intervened Stefan

-Maybe that's why this whole wedding and Damon thing has been working out so good

-Good? Are we not talking about how the engagement party now?- asked Bonnie trying to be more self-aware. And confrontational, her friends were right, she needed to start growing up.

-Oh, that had to happen, you guys needed to have a real conversation where everything was just out, there's no way you can move on without it

-Yeah, you're right, Care- she said absently while moving the liquid in her glass.

She had said a lot more than she intended on that night, but it was all her. Damon just took all of her anger and then apologized to her the next day. Did he have anything to say to her? After all both of them were very angry at each other for a few years. Did he realized he messed up and decided to stop bothering her or what?

-Well, so what are you going to do with your newfound free time?- asked Stefan, taking her out of her thoughts.

-Ummm…

-There's so much to do!- interrupted Caroline - we'll finally get to spend time on the details. The flowers, the sitting arrangements, the dresses...

-Well... Not that much time, though. I'm applying immediately to the Mystic Falls' Hospital. So, I don't know how much time I'll have.

-But... but we need to rehearse the dance and everything.

-Yeah, and I'll do it as much as I can, but if I get called back I'm going to take my chance, Care

-But Bonnie… I need you.

-And I need to have a job Caroline. What if I don't apply soon enough and they just don't need me later on?

-Of course they'll need you afterwards, but you should take a vacation before starting working again.

She wasn't looking at her in the eyes, of course she wasn't being genuine. That made her even more angry.

-So I can just be your puppet until the wedding?- asked Bonnie crossing her arms.

-What?

-Guys...

-No Stefan, let her finish

-I said what I said. I've been devoting all of my free time to you Caroline and it still isn't enough for you

They wanted her to be more confrontational? She could give them confrontational.

-You're my maid of honor

-I didn't ask you for this Caroline

Caroline looked impressed and very hurt, which made her want to take it all back, but before she could speak, her best friend cleared her throat.

-Fine. I hope you get the job. Let's go Stefan.

-I'm so sorry Bonnie- he said before hugging her tight and going behind his future wife.

Bonnie knew that it had hurt Caroline's plans but she needed a job, she couldn't just sit around, doing as Caroline wanted and looking pretty. She needed to work.

So she was going to lose a few rehearsals? big deal. Saving people was way more important than a dance sequence.

Yeah, that definitely wasn't convincing her that what she did was ok.

She hated hurting her friend, the image of sadness on those blue eyes came back and made her regret saying everything. This was all Damon's fault for putting those ideas in her mind.

I mean, she was tired and she was spending all of her free time with the bridal stuff instead of studying but she had passed. She had also slept only three hours a night the last couple of weeks to try and be successful in everything, but that had been her decision.

She had decided to do all of those things, even if she hadn't asked to be Caroline's maid of honor. Well, in all honesty, she kind of have done it a few years back. When they were like, eight. But she had no idea how much work it was or how busy she would be once the marriage proposal finally arrived.

She didn't know what to do, there was no way she could fix it and she still had a lot of champagne so she decided to drink it all and then sleep so her body could finally heal from the last couple of weeks.

She drank the whole bottle while watching Friends on Netflix and then looked for some other alcohol in her house and found a bottle of whiskey. She decided it was time to drink it, as a celebration of her success. And as a distraction from her fight.

She drank so much that she didn't realize the sun had gone down and decided it was time to go to sleep. But once she got to her bed she couldn't stop thinking about Caroline and Damon and the whole confrontation thing. They wanted her to be more assertive? To not run away from problems? Fine, it was time she did. She took her phone and called the reason of all of this.

-Hello? Bonnie? It's everything ok?- he asked sleepy but kind of worried. What a prick.

-No

-What happened?- he asked sounding fully awake now

-You're a jerk.

-…What?

-You told me to stand up for myself and I did and I got Caroline hurt.

-Are you seriously calling me at two a.m. on a Wednesday to tell me you got on a fight with Caroline because of an advice I have you months ago?

-Yes! This is all your fault!- she knew she was taking it too far but she couldn't really stop now.

-Are you drunk?

-No- she said unconvincing

-Oh my God Bonnie, why don't you go back to sleep and we can talk about this when I get to Mystic Falls on Friday?

-No, I need you to fix this now

-How can I fix this at two a.m. from New York?

-I don't know, but this is your fault, you need to fix this

-Bonnie, I can't handle you right now, ok ? I'm going to bed?

-Handle me? I'm a grown woman, not a child!

-Then act like one!- he yelled

\- Classic Damon. Always messing up and letting other people take the fault. I'm tired of this bullshit.

-Well, I'm tired of it too. I thought we were on good terms, I texted you today to see how you were doing but apparently, everything I do is wrong on your eyes

-It is!

-Fine, then don't talk to me anymore. It's over, I'm done trying to make things right, this thing is beyond saving.

He hung up before she could make a rebuttal, making her feel angrier and somewhat sad.

She started crying without noticing and before she could stop herself, she was fully sobbing alone in her bed. Today was supposed to be an amazing day, she was going to pass, celebrate with her best friends, she was making amends with Damon. Everything was peachy. Like a sunny day that had suddenly erupted into a storm, with heavy rain, thunder and lightning included.

She knew deep down that she was being dramatic, but she couldn't help but to feel this way.

She also knew she shouldn't have called Damon, she was drunk and mad and yelled at him for all the wrong reasons again and she lost what little advance she had made with him. She also lost her best friend's support. She was all alone again.

She was well aware that the next day she was going to be hungovered and dehydrated from the crying but she didn't care. She had nothing to do, she didn't have to go to the hospital or study or help Caroline. And plus she kind of deserved it.

She was finally free but she couldn't enjoy it because she was feeling guilty. She hated this feeling with her whole heart because deep inside she knew she shouldn't be feeling like that, she had to put herself first for a change but she was so not used to it that the guilt was eating her alive.

So she fell asleep and slept until the next day. She woke up at three in the afternoon, with the worst headache she had had in ages and a few texts from her friends congratulating her on passing the exam and other stuff. Stefan apologized again for leaving her so soon and there were no signs of Caroline nor Damon.

She hated herself for that. She had messed up with both of them and she was too hungovered to do anything about it. She forced herself to go drink some water and then went back to bed to sleep some more. She felt like doing nothing more than being in bed.

The next day she woke up early, feeling refreshed after sleeping everything she hadn't in the last few days and wallowing on her guilt and self-pity. But that had helped her to realize she had to make things right, with both of her friends. Also she needed to apply for the hospital job and pick up some paperwork from Whitmore, so that day she went to run errands and while doing so texted Caroline trying to get her to have breakfast the next day with her.

After literally twenty eight attempts she finally gave in and responded with "ok". That was a win for her and she definitely needed a win.

* * *

-Hey Care.

-Hi- she responded not looking at her and sitting immediately. She wasn't early as usual or her happy self so she knew she still had a long way to go.

-I'm so sorry Care, I messed up. You and Damon have been talking to me about running away from things and it kind of made me mad. Mostly because you guys are right. I never tell anyone when I'm mad about something and then I explode and yell and cry and it's not a nice view. And I know I should change that and I promise I'm working on it.

-I know you Bonnie. I know that's how you operate but… I always thought that that was with other people. Not with me. I thought you trusted me enough to tell me when I was crossing a line instead of just exploding and being hurtful towards me.

-I'm sorry… I don't know why I never told you that all the bridal things plus the job plus studying… it was all wearing me off. Before the test I hadn't slept eight hours in months. And the last two weeks prior I was sleeping just three hours a night trying to study as much as possible and being as helpful as I could…

-Bonnie! Why didn't you tell me? I would've understood. You seemed fine

-But I wasn't… And I know I should've told you instead of lashing out. I know that now. I never thought I'd hurt you with my mess

-Bonnie… don't you see I was hurting you too? Dragging you along to everything when you needed to sleep? A basic human thing? Bonnie you are the most selfless person I know and I love that about you but you have to draw a line. You can't just drop everything for someone

-I don't do that for everyone. Just you- she tried to joke but Caroline shook her head and looked at her eyes very determined.

-I don't want you to do that Bonnie. That's not healthy.

She stayed quiet for a few moments. She was right. Damon was right too. And an epiphany came to her. She felt embarrassed but she felt like she needed to tell someone and Caroline was her best friend, so why not her?

-I think…- she sighed to calm herself down- I think the reason I've been so angry at Damon it's because I felt like he abandoned me. Like my mother- she felt her eyes watering but took a deep breath and kept on with her new realization- and I think that since he left I've been trying to not give you guys any excuse to leave me. You, Enzo and Stefan. I think that's why I couldn't break up with him even though it was obvious that we had to.

-Bonnie- said the blonde reaching out for her hand, squeezing it. Probably because of the tears streaming down her face.

-I think I regressed when Damon left me and I knew it, subconsciously… That's why I've been such a bitch to him. Blaming him for everything, calling him out in front of everyone, being so inexplicably mad at him. Not all of it it's his fault.

-Well, he's still guilty for ghosting you.

-Yeah, but I reacted too extremely. And since he kind of came back I've been losing control more and more. I… I don't recognize myself sometimes- she continued before taking a napkin to wipe her tears and another to blow her nose.

-Like when you screamed at him for not needing him?

-Yeah… or when I called him drunk telling him it was his fault that I hurt you. That's so childish.

-Yeah… but you were drunk, people usually do dumb stuff when drunk- said Caroline with a movement of her wrist.

-But still. I need to stop running away and start facing stuff. I need to stop leaving everything for later, like decisions, conversations, and thoughts. I've been avoiding even thinking about stuff, that's not right, Care.

-Don't be so hard on yourself, though. You've been through so much Bonnie. You're a warrior, you lost your dad at nine and mom at ten. Your Grams died before she could see you graduate or get married, of course you have a messy personal life. But you picked yourself up and you went through Med-school and you kicked ass. I admire you Bonnie

-Thank you, Care- they hugged and Bonnie let herself cry a little bit more.

-Ok, let's talk about better things. When do you start working?

-I don't know. They told me they didn't need anyone yet, but they'd let me know. So I don't have a job anymore.

-Oh shit. Come here again- said Caroline pulling her for a hug again, making her smile.

-It's ok, Care. I'll get to hang out with you more and rehearse the dance. Good thing I haven't spent most of the residency money.

-Yeah, that's a good thing. Can I text Stefan to tell him we're fine again? He wanted us to make amends and said that if we did we wanted to have lunch with us

-He's going to leave the law firm to have lunch with us instead of keep working? He must be really looking forward to it- responded Bonnie acting like she was shocked, which made Caroline smile- of course you can

-Great… - Caroline started to text her fiancé and suddenly she looked at Bonnie a little bit preoccupied- Are you going to tell Damon about your revelation?

-I feel like I have to. I need to apologize for the drunken call and I need to tell him why, I guess. Maybe that way I get to heal more properly.

-Yeah, I think that'd be good. I'd try to do that soon, though. Tomorrow he's gonna come with us to pick the chairs and the decorations in them.

-Oh. Fuck.

-Yeah, sorry. I didn't know we'd be into this mess when I scheduled it.

-We are in no mess. I am, you're mess free.

-Hell no. my best friend is in a mess? I am too. Knees deep. –They smiled at each other fondly before Caroline kept talking- So, I guess Damon hasn't responded your texts?

-Nor calls. And I've been as persistent as I was with you.

-Ok, then I'll text him and tell him that I need him to be in the Salvatore house at five today. Me and Stefan will take Jo and Ric for dinner, so you guys can have the house to yourselves.

-Why do I feel like you've been planning for this for a while?

-That's what I came up with when I figured you'd be maid of honor and Damon best man. I realized you'd need a push to hash things out.

-Well… it's a good plan.

-Great, I'll text him immediately.

As Caroline typed she felt her stomach tied in knots. She had to come clean with everything, well, almost everything. She wasn't telling him that she had feeling for him back in the day (and possibly now as well) but she was going to tell him that she had blew things out of proportion.

Caroline looked at her with a smile and a thumb up making her feel like throwing up. Sure, the storm had passed but it was still pretty cloudy and dark. Maybe even with chances of another storm erupting.

Good God what have she gotten herself into?

* * *

Hey guys! I hope you liked the chapter, I put a lot of information I was withholding from you and now you can kind of see the full story and how close they were and why.

Thank you all so much for your reviews, they make me SO HAPPY! I love that you like the way I write or how the story is going, it's honestly so uplifting to read those comments!

Also I wanted to adress the one were one of you said that it would be cool to have a Damon's pov and although that was an idea I was juggling with when I first started writing I decided against it because I wanted this story to be about Bonnie at center, yes I love their friendship and how they make each other better and the love they share but since she wasn't given many storylines in the show I thought this was a good way of write my story, have her be the protagonist and the character development while this storyline moves forward.

Either way, you're going to really like next chapter because I knew you wanted to get more inside of Damon's head so that one has a lot of dialogue between these two.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed it and hopefully you'll leave me a message.

Happy reading!


	6. Chapter 6

VI. The explosions

Bonnie was alone in the Salvatore house, waiting for Damon to show up and start fighting with her, because she deserved it. She hadn't been honest to him or to herself and she had dragged this mess for longer than it needed to be done. It was her fault, so she had to apologize now.

That sounded easy, but was it? He had broken her heart, he had walked away from her life just like her mom and every time he came back, he was mad at her. At her? Why?

Yeah, yeah. This is an apology Bonnie, he was to blame too but he needed to hear her apologies because she had made some bad choices herself. She couldn't keep being mad at him for things he hadn't done. He wasn't his mother, it wasn't his responsibility to stay by her side.

They were friends and things had gone wrong and then escalated because they were both headstrong and couldn't let things go.

Besides, they had some deep-rooted traumas, that had made her do the things she did, but she hand't listened to his reasons and in order to heal and move on she needed to, so they needed to have this fight.

The clock and her breathing were the only noises she was hearing, until those were interrupted by the sound of some keys moving outside and then the door being opened.

She had to remember herself to breath, because she had definitely stopped doing so for a few seconds there. She listened to his steps and then, finally, saw his face.

-Oh. Why are you here?- asked Damon going from disoriented to angry as soon as he got to the living room and saw Bonnie standing there by herself.

-Because I need to talk to you

She was fidgeting and playing with her hands a lot, she knew she only had a few seconds before he decided to leave and she needed to convince him not to before that.

-So this was a set up?- he asked crossing his arms and looking very mad.

-…Kind of

-Bye- he turned around but Bonnie run to blocked the door

-No, we need to talk- she pleaded with her words and eyes

-I remember you made it a lot more difficult for me to apologize last time. You should just let me go, it's only fair

-No, as much as I want to, I need to tell you something.

They looked at each other's eyes with a lot of intensity, Damon was a little mad and she was just really trying to persuade him. He ended up sighing and looking away.

-Ok. Since it's the first time you want to actually have a conversation I'll give you five minutes, if we can't fix it, I'm out.

-Ok. I…- her mouth was dry and her heart was beating so fast it was almost leaving her body.

This was going to be rough, but she made promise to Caroline and to herself. She needed to start making changes.

-Any second now

-I'm sorry. I… I blew things out of proportion. I blamed you for everything when I also was to blame.

-And?

-What do you mean and?

-This is your big apology?- he was really mad now, she could sense it and he was right, there was more, but she was scared to tell him everything.

-You haven't just blamed me for this, you blamed me for our fall out. For leaving to New York when you promised you'd be there with me the next year. You've been an asshole to me since then.

-Well, it's not like you weren't an asshole yourself. And that's because you started ghosting me and only talking to me about your new friends when you finally picked up. Of course I wasn't going to run to New York with you after that.

-And why didn't you have the guts to tell me yourself? Why did you never talk to me about it and just decided to leave it at that? Like it didn't matter that we had a deal and that we used to be best friends?

-I… - she swallowed through the knot that was forming in her throat and as the coward she was, she looked away and tried to come up with excuses again before the truth- I wasn't sure you even cared anymore

-What?! – he asked jumping back, like he needed to be away from her after that, breaking her heart a little bit more- Oh, hell no. Stop blaming me for everything. You didn't tell me because that's who you are. You just run away at the first sight of confrontation. You see a problem and you avoid it until it disappears and if it doesn't you disappear.

-You have no idea what you're talking about. We haven't been friends in seven years and you think you can just come here and 'give me a lesson about who I am'? I changed. I'm here right now confronting you and trying to fix our stupid drama for the wedding's sake.

She knew she was changing the subject and apologizing way less than she expected, but he was right. She was afraid and that made her so mad she was lashing out to him yet again.

-You haven't changed since you were a teenager Bonnie. You have the same system and that's the truth of our 'stupid drama'. You weren't mature enough to talk about it so you run away from it. You-

-And what was I supposed to do? – she interrupted shouting- Run after you? Beg you for your time? You weren't even answering my calls, Damon! I wasn't going to go live to a city I didn't know with a guy that clearly didn't have any intention of being my friend any longer.

-You promised Bonnie. I thought that meant something- his voice cracked a little bit, finally showing something other than rage, making her also show the sadness she was masquerading with anger.

-And I thought our friendship meant something to you.- a little tear escaped her right eye- I guess we were both wrong.

They stayed silent for a while. She had so much to say but she didn't want to give herself away, show him all of her weaknesses, confess her true feelings. She had said that she was going to let it all out but it was easier said than done.

And he seemed like he was holding back too. But he was also pissed. And then, when they were looking at each other's eyes, fuming, his eyes seemed to softened when he focused on her tear, making her rapidly swipe it away. He shacked his head before talking again.

-I know you hate me right now, Bonnie. I hate you too, to be honest. Because you hurt me. I thought that no matter what you'd be there for me that next year. I…-he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes to say what he seemed to need to say- there was a time when I didn't hate you. There was a time when the sun shone only when I was by your side.

She looked at him with wide eyes and feeling her face on fire. Was he just trying to fluster her when they were just screaming at each other seconds ago?

-What? When?- she merely whispered.

He looked kind of taken aback by her reply. It seemed like he wasn't expecting her to react, maybe he thought that if he was honest enough he'd scared her off and this conversation would come to an end.

-When my parents died.

-Oh

-Being home was awful, because I could only think of them. Being in class without you was awful, because everyone looked at me like I was a fragile idiot. I hated how they pitied me. But you were different, you told me how you felt when your dad died. How it felt when it was his first absent birthday and how you felt four years later without him. You walked me through it, without pity but with compassion, I guess. That's why you will always be important for me Bonnie Bennet. Even if you hate me, even if I hate you. But let's be honest, we don't hate each other. We are just mad.

She was so surprised of how matured he sounded. He wasn't that immature before, but she remembered he'd rather joke around to showcase his true feelings, so this was definitely new. And she couldn't help herself. She went for a hug.

He seemed surprised but quickly reacted to her gesture. They spent a few minutes like that, holding each other tight.

-You're right. I'm so mad at you Damon. Still, after all these years- she said against his chest and she was going to stop there, but since he was being honest she needed to do the same- and it has nothing to do with you.

-What do you mean?

-I mean… you left me. You stopped caring about me, you replaced me…- she continued with her voice wavering a little- You abandoned me…

-Like your mom

-Yeah- he held her tight again and she didn't realize when she started crying but suddenly she was fully sobbing into his arms while he was rocking her and holding her as tight as he could. Good thing he wasn't wearing his leather jacket because all of her tears were in his shirt now.

She realized that she was holding his shirt rather than him, tugging him closer. And he was just taking it all, like he had so many times in the past. That thought started calming her down after a few minutes.

-I'm sorry Bonnie, I... I thought that maybe there was a reason for your hatred and I thought it could be because we helped each other through our loses but I never realized it had to do with you mom. To me it was all about losing, never because of being left.

-I didn't either realized why I felt like that with you, either- she responded pulling away from him, but still holding him- I just knew I felt so betrayed. I was just so angry at you, I couldn't let it go. And then, I realized why.

-When did you realized it?- he asked giving her a paper tissue he had in his pocket.

-Thank you- she said before blowing her nose and then whispered- After I screamed at you in the engagement party

-Then why didn't you tell me sooner? I… kind of realized I fucked up and I deserved your yelling but…

-It's not your job to know what's wrong with me Damon. I know that now. But I didn't tell you because… I didn't want to seem weak, I guess…

-I wanna yell at you- he stated putting his head at her level so she could see how much he meant it- I wanna shake you so badly until you take that shit out of your mind, because I shouldn't have been in the dark about that Bonnie. We were best friends.

-I'm sorry

-But- he interrupted- that's something I can understand. That's the reason I stopped talking so much to you when I got to New York. I was miserable there without you… and the others-he added quickly, with a little bit of pink on is cheeks- I knew that if I talked to you for too long, you'd realize and I wanted to look strong.

-Why would you do something so dumb?

-I didn't realize I was condemning our friendship. I was stupid. I thought you'd forgive me about everything and that you'd be even more curious to go to New York with the stories I told you- he stopped looking at her eyes when he said that, so there was definitely more to the story, but she didn't want to push him. There were already a lot of truths coming out and she didn't want to push her luck. Also, if he did that to her she was going to tell him how she really felt about him.

-You were stupid. But so was I. We were stupid teenagers.

-Yeah, but we're adults now and I'm really really REALLY hating that I've made you cry so much these last few times we've seen each other. So let me make it up to you.

-How?- she asked with a small smile

-Well… there's a new Karaoke bar downtown. We can invite Caroline and Stefan. Maybe even Jo and Ric too, so they can have a night out. What do you think?- he asked before starting to wipe her tears off.

-I think I need to blow my nose and put some eyes drops and I'm good to go.

-Great

He smiled a little less crookedly than usual, closer to that secret smile he used to only show her when they were teenagers and that made her stomach feel full of butterflies and also made her aware of how close they were. So she pulled away a bit more.

-Can I go to the restroom while you call the guys?

-Of course, mademoiselle- he responded with a bow

-You're so corny- he said rolling her eyes and smiling.

-But I made you smile.

* * *

-Oh my God, I'm so glad you guys are finally ok!- screamed Caroline getting inside of the booth that Damon and Bonnie had chosen. Behind her was Damon's family, all of them smiling wide and looking at him weirdly proud.

-Me too- responded Bonnie with a small smile and looking away from the others, they were looking at them like they were in a kind of triple date and even thought that made her feel excited it also embarrassed her. And made her a bit sad, because that wasn't the case at all.

-Ok, ladies and gentleman, let's start this party- said Damon standing up and taking Stefan with him to the stage. She may have seen his face a bit red, but that could totally be the lighting.

-Ok. But we're gonna need some shots first- responded Stefan walking to the bar instead

-Great idea, let's get drunk and sing

That was the last from their interaction that she could hear. She smiled at their backs, because there had been a while since she'd seen them happy like that.

-I love that you guys are in good terms now. I missed you at the family parties

-Jo, take it easy- said Alaric with a cryptic face. Weird.

-Well, this guys are going to sing, so I suggest we start paying attention to them

-You're right, as always Care- responded Jo with a smile.

Soon enough, they started listening to a very off-tune rendition of Highway to hell. They seemed to be having fun though, faking guitar solos and all. The other people there loved it and clapped throughout the performance.

When they came back to the booth, the others were ordering their drinks.

-I think I want a Margarita

-Bonnie, are you sure? Last time wasn't a… smooth one.

-Yes, Care. That was a long time ago and I was working my ass off in the residency, now I'm worries free.

Caroline just lifted her hands in surrender while murmuring something along the lines of "just saying".

-Oh, come on, goldilocks. You're trying to have drunken Bonnie just for yourself? I want a sight of that as well.

-Not a really pretty sight- said Stefan with a grin- there's some violence involved- he whispered loud enough for all of them to hear.

-Really Stefan? That was one time.

-Kids, you're scaring the waiter- said Alaric- we'd like some cabernet, please.

-And I'd like a bourbon- said cheery Damon.

-Make that two

-Wow. My little brother is all grown up.

-I'm getting married, Damon. Get over it.

-Never. I used to change your dippers.

-You didn't do shit

-Uh, sassy.

She loved seeing Damon like this. He was so comfortable around the ones he loved, and since there wasn't any tension between the two of them she could finally see him all relaxed and funny. She had missed this side of him.

-All right. While you kids bicker, my wife and I are going to sing.

-What? Honey, no

-Oh, come on, Jo. They must have our song, plus we haven't done anything fun like this in years.

She finally gave in and walked with him towards the stage. While they were waiting for the person with the mic their drinks came to the table.

-Bring us another round in ten minutes, on me- said Damon to the waiter

-Ok, sir

-Thank you- said Bonnie with a smile when the waiter gave her the margarita

-Yeah, thanks man- followed Damon.

She looked at him and he was sporting his infamous crooked smile.

-What?- she said squinting her eyes at him.

-Nothing, I sometimes forget manners. New York is wild. Thanks for reminding me, though.

She tried not to smile but she couldn't stop herself. So she decided to start drinking before she said something stupid.

Alaric and Jo started singing "Can't take my eyes off of you". Ric was way more into it than Jo, but they seemed to be having a fun time. They cheered and continued to drink while the couple was up there and by the time they came back they all seemed to be a bit happier than before.

-You guys killed it!- complimented Stefan beaming.

-Come on girls, it's your turn

-We're not as easy persuaded as your brother. We need more buzz

-Oh, Blondie here wants me to buy her more alcohol, you should've said it sooner.

-Well, you're the rich one

-Oh, come on. Steffy bear here is a lawyer, count your blessings, young woman.

-Yeah, but we're spending a lot on the wedding, so of course you have to buy the alcohol tonight

-Fair enough- he made a sign to the waiter for another round and seemed to understand it immediately- but you guys are drinking this and going to sing in five minutes tops.

-Oh, he has rules- intervened Bonnie feeling the bravery the alcohol usually provided.

-Oh, she finally spoke. I'm missing the violence I was promised.

-Nothing of the sort is going to happen, I'm a lady.

He smiled wryly at her and she didn't have time to banter because the waiter came with the third round.

-All right girls, deal's a deal. Bottoms up.

They looked at each other with a smile on their face and chugged it immediately. This wasn't their first rodeo.

-Wow. You married an alcoholic one, Stef.

-Not married yet. And not alcoholic, I think. Not sure though.

\- Oh you'd love me even if it was the case but it's not. I'm just good at partying. Come on, Bon. Let's kick their performance's ass.

-Yeap.

She stood up and the ground seemed to move a bit, but she recovered quickly and walked to the stage with her best friend.

-Do you have a song in mind?

-No, let's see what's in store.

They looked through the catalog while a couple was singing a very sappy song and Caroline's eyes went wide and bright when she found 'You belong with me' by Taylor Swift.

-Do you remember how we used to sing this in my room with our Pj's on?

-We used to blast this to the heavens.

-It was exactly what I needed when Stefan started dating that stupid Valerie. And you hated that Damon was always dating around.

-This was our jam- responded Bonnie pointing to the catalog very aggressively, she was going for assertive but it kind of back fired. Either way it took her best friend's mind off the Damon crush she used to have.

-It's like we wrote it ourselves.

-I remember the lyrics. All of them.

-And now it's even more perfect because he IS with me. He belonged with me all along and now we're getting married and that bitch and him are no longer together

-Why do you hate her so much? You do realize that it was a long time ago?

-Because she broke his heart. Of course I know that was years ago but still. She just left, without even saying goodbye. I thought he'd never recover.

-But he did and now you guys are stronger than ever.

Caroline smiled and the couple finished, so they got to the stage and put the song on.

They sang kind of ok. They weren't the best singers and the alcohol wasn't helping but they had nice voices and they knew the song by heart, even after all those years.

Caroline was especially giving her all, still mad about that bitch and Bonnie was just happy. The people was singing along and their booth was cheering them, so she felt pretty fearless.

When the song finished the room applauded and they got a standing ovation by the guys they used to sing that song to, making her feel giddy inside.

As soon as they got to the table Stefan took Caroline in his arms and lifted her, surprising her very much, judging by the squealing noise she made.

-You were amazing!

-Should I do that too?- asked Damon standing up

-No!- screamed Bonnie

-YES- screamed everybody else

-We gotta give the audience what they want.

She tried to get away but he was faster, he put his arms on her waist and lifted her pretty high, making her squeak.

Everyone laughed and he put her in the ground soon enough. As soon as she got her foot in the floor she exploded in laughter, a mixture of relieve and actual happiness. Caroline joined her, clearly intoxicated with the alcohol, but she didn't care. She was really happy.

She locked eyes with a very radiant looking Damon. The laughter stopped but she smiled wide basking in the moment, trying to pay attention to everything going on right there and then, so she could remember it later. She didn't realize how much she had missed this, being with her best friends, just laughing and having a good time. Feeling the warmth coming from Damon and the way he was looking at her right now.

That shit was addictive.

-All right, all right. I know what you're all thinking. Next round is on me- said Stefan before Caroline jumped to hug him, beaming. They truly loved each other with their whole hearts.

-My brother's trying to steal my shtick. I'll just let him because he's getting married- whispered Damon to her ear, she turned to him and they were really close. Like, she could feel his breathing in her face close. He smiled crookedly at her and that snapped her out of it.

-That could be your wedding gift- she whispered trying to sound unaffected, but failing to do so.

She walked to the booth and sit where she was before, trying to regain her composure. And also, trying to regain control on all of the feelings that were exploding inside of her.

* * *

She was feeling dizzy when she came out of the karaoke bar so Damon offered to walk with her to her house. While the other four went home on an uber.

They were walking down the street at night. This felt romantic as fuck but she convinced herself it was just the alcohol in her veins.

-I'm fine, you didn't need to come with me- she commented after a few minutes in silence.

-You're hammered. And I paid for most of your alcohol so I kind of feel like it's my responsibility.

-You paid for all of it. You didn't even let me give that guy more tips.

-Because I had already given him 40%

-But he had to put up with us aaaall night. And we weren't actually talking most of the night, we were yelling.

-And that's why I gave him double than most people.

-But I wanted to put some money too.

-Ok, next time you'll tip him.

-Next time?- she dared to look at him, and he was smiling satisfied with himself. Bastard.

-Yeah. I think I nailed it bringing you here, having seen you this happy in years.

-Well, that could be because we haven't seen each other in years.

-We have, we just haven't talked. Actually, we have, just not without ending up fighting.

-You're right. I'm glad we're past that.

-Yeah…

They stayed quiet for a while, finally content with each other and themselves.

-Thank you for today- said Bonnie when they were getting close to her house. The cold air had helped her to feel less inebriated.

-I wanted to thank you, actually. If you hadn't decided to talk things out, we wouldn't have done it.

-Yeah, it was time I did some growing up.

-Yeah, me too. We kinda should've had this conversation a long time ago.

-Yes- she responded before laughing, mostly because she was feeling nervous. This whole thing was feeling very romantic and she wasn't prepared for it.

-We've been wasting time- he said completely unaware if her feelings, probably.

-Yeah! We could've had sang some Taylor Swift before- she joked trying to lighted up the mood.

-Yeah, next time it's you and me and Shake it off.

-Uh, I didn't know you were a fan of hers.

-I'm not, I wanna see you shaking it off.

She laughed at his comment, finally letting herself go and enjoying his company. She just needed to relax, things were the way she wanted them to be, if she wanted for them to be just friends that's what they'd be.

-You're so dumb

-Yeah, but you still want to be my friend. Right?

That's what she was talking about.

-Of course. How about you?

-Hell yeah. Especially now that you are like this.

-What do you mean?

-Well, you look more... Free? Younger? I don't know. There was something about tonight, something different.

-Different how?

-Umm... You reminded me of old Bonnie, the one that sang in the car with me when we'd go on around town. Or on a road trip.

She smiled wide, she did feel more free than in a few years, like if realizing why she felt the way she did and then actually saying it had taken a big heavy weight from her back. They had finally arrived at her home and they stopped on her porch.

-I feel free now. More confident too

-Maybe that's why you looked so beautiful- he said with that crooked smile before turning around… to his house?

Oh no, she had to make an end to this kind of behavior. These Damon's shenanigans kept her up at night and she knew that to end it she'd have to talk about other things she didn't want to talk about but she had to make decisions to make her life better, to stop making everyone comfortable but herself.

-Damon- she called out right before he got to the street, so she walked to meet him in the middle.

-Yeah?- he turned around startled, she knew he didn't see this coming, which caused a rush of adrenaline. Good, because she was going to need it.

-I hate when you do stuff like this. You always comment stuff to startle me right before leaving and they keep me from being sane at times.- that sounded dramatic, she needed to elaborate or she'd look like an idiot- I just think that in order for this new friendship to work we need to be honest with each other and this is something I don't like.

-Wow- he responded after some time in silence- I love this new you. Maybe we should've fought sooner.

-Damon, I'm serious

-Me too. This is definitely my favorite Bonnie. And you're right. I like seeing how you look when you're surprised. And I actually thought you kind of liked it. But, well. I'll leave my commenting on your good looks out of this friendship.

-I didn't mean just that. You always say something that you know I won't want to deny because it would be uncomfortable or makes me embarrassed, but I'd like it if we could actually have conversations now. Not just yell at each other and walk away. I want us to be actual friends again.

He smiled like he hadn't in years, with that real, wide and special smile that made her heart skip a beat and her stomach filled with butterflies. God, she thought those feelings were long dead.

She knew she was getting herself into a mess with this, but she didn't care. She needed to have a more open and honest relationship with her friends, even if that meant having a messy one or even losing them. Or falling in love with one of them. Again.

But she really wanted to stay friends with Damon, shad missed him a lot, so in order to have healthier relationships she needed to stop relaying on her friends so much and she needed to start seeing her worth without them telling her, so this was a step on the right direction.

\- I'm proud of you Bon Bon. And you did look beautiful today, it's not like you don't always look beautiful, but today was different. You had like... I don't know. A thirst for life, for enjoying the moment in a way I haven't seen in years. I missed that.

-Me too. And I missed you. I missed us- she whispered looking at the ground, being mature and letting yourself be vulnerable was hard and as much as she was trying she was still very afraid of saying the wrong thing.

-Me too.

They looked at each other in silence and Damon did that stupid cocky smile, making her roll her eyes with a small smile of her own. He opened his arms with that same smile, but his eyes were inviting her in with more warmth than anything else, so she walked the distance between them and hugged him really tight. He put his chin in the top of her head and sighed. She smiled buried into his chest.

-We should say goodnight now, tomorrow's going to be rough.

\- Why?

-First dance rehearsal, remember?

-Oh shit. Yeah. I should go to sleep.

-Yeah, me too.

They pulled away, both smiling fondly and went their separate ways. Bonnie's heart was beating so fast that she asked herself if he could feel it when they were hugging, but if he did he didn't say anything.

She smiled like an idiot until she fell asleep.

* * *

Hi guys! Uff this was a big one. It was very loaded at the first scene so I wanted it to lighten in the middle, with them having fun and let the dialogue pick up more than the descriptions, so it was more fast paced. I don't know if you liked the way that was handled, please let me know because I was not sure if it worked or if it felt out of place because I usually try to descrive movements a lot, but hopefully it translated the way I wanted it to.

By the way, I'm so happy you guys took your time and wrote me reviews, I received more reviews than in the others chapters and that made my week, seriously guys! Thank you! I love that you take your time to tell me everything you liked or didn't and where you think this story is heading or what need o happen for a good ending and I agree with a lot of you but I don't want to actually give anything away so I'll just thank you because I read every single one and I looove them.

One that I wanted to adress, though, was the one were someone said they didn't like my interpretation of Bonnie because she was too weak and that that she let everyone walk over her and stuff. Well, I'm sorry but the way the show was it's the same. Bonnie literally died for her friends, not one but twice. Her grandma died because of Damon, she watched her father get killed and couldn't do anything and we never saw what that did to her, they just brushed it off and this one is from her perspective so of course we have to linger in her trauma and we have to see what those things made to her and how they shaped her relationships because Bonnie in TVD in self sacrificial as shit and never really got anything in return, o in this one, we get to see her work through her issues and save herself. That's what I wanted to see, anyway.

Ok, maybe that was too much, but in case anyone else wanted to know why this is written that way, there it is. Plus, we are only in chapter six, people move forward, evolve, we have to give them time, nothing in our lives happens and leave us the same, so that's what we are doing in this fic, but if you don't like it it's ok, it's just not for you and that's cool.

Anyways, there was a lot to unpack and there's still some stuff but we are moving slowly, the way regular people do. Step by step, you know. Still I hope you liked it and if you did a review always make me smile and makes me happy, specially the long ones were you tell me how you feel about the story and the characters so far, because then I know if I'm making things right, if it's coming across the way I want them to and so far it has, so thank you!

Oh, and people can be good friends and still don't know what bothers you if you don't tell them, they can be self-absorved too, you know we all make mistakes, but that doesn't mean we are bad friends, we are just invested in something else. Ok, this was long, so sorry. I'm out now.

Happy reading!


	7. Chapter 7

VII. Friendship

_**Hope you're ready, I'm picking you up in ten**_

Damon? Why would he pick her up? ... Oh, shit, the sitting arrangements.

Bonnie jumped from her bed, where she had been thinking about last night. How her friendship with Damon and the other guys was coming back and she couldn't help but feel giddy, even through the hungover. But now she was running up and down her room putting on clothes and brushing her teeth at the same time.

She completely forgot they had to do that thing, she thought she had a lazy morning before the dance rehearsals, so she drank a gallon of water, had breakfast in bed and just watched the _Property Brothers_ until she couldn't pay attention anymore because her mind was stuck in the previous day.

Her phone started ringing and she knew Damon was outside. She finished brushing her teeth as the phone continued to sound and when she was getting out of the bathroom, he started knocking in the door.

-I'm so sorry, I forgot. I'm ready- she said quickly when she opened the door.

-You have toothpaste in your chin- commented Damon scratching his own chin to show her where it was- it's nice to see some things never change

-What do you mean?- she inquired while going to the kitchen to get a napkin.

-You're always late. Always finishing brushing your teeth when I'm at the door already. You learnt nothing from our school days.

-I didn't need to be ready before that because you'd be chatting with Grams. But now I'm ready so we can be on our way

They stepped outside and Damon's mind seemed to be somewhere else, he walked towards the car without saying a word and he didn't even open her door for her, so she walked to her side and once she got inside she turned to him.

-What?- he asked immediately, startling her.

-I don't know. Your mood changed- she answered fidgeting in the seat, the sudden change in the ambience made her nervous.

-Yeah.

He started the car and stayed silent for a while, Bonnie didn't know how to react, because as much as she wanted to think they were back to how things were before, things didn't work like that, they had to earn each other's trust back. And that was what she was going to do.

-You know you can tell me what's wrong, right?

-Yes. I just don't know how you're going to take what I have to say

-You won't know until you tell me.

He seemed hesitant but shook his head and parked in front of a stranger's house to look at her.

-I came home for your Grams funeral.

She didn't know how her face looked but he looked away looking ashamed. She didn't want to talk about the time when she lost the last person in her family and the most important one for the majority of her life, but she wanted to know what happened.

-Then why didn't I see you?

-I…- he sighed and looked at her again, looking afraid- I got into a fight with Enzo.

-Wha… what? How? He was with me the whole time- she didn't want to seem angry, but her high pitched voice betrayed her. She wasn't angry, thought, she was surprised and he was very nervous, you could tell because he was playing with his hands.

-You were in the bathroom, I was trying to see you but he said that you had enough in your plate to deal with me too. I got mad and pushed him, but Stefan stopped me from knocking in your door. He said you were not in the best place and I was being too aggressive at the moment. Enzo told me to step outside. He said that you were fragile and that seeing me would make it worse because I was close with both of you.

-That's bullshit

-What?- he seemed actually surprised, he seemed to be waiting for anger or sadness, but not that.

-I wanted you there. My Grams would've too- she could feel the tears coming but she kept talking anyway- she loved you. She… she wanted to say goodbye to you before she left... When she told me that, so I called you from the hospital's telephone, but when you picked up… I couldn't speak. I started crying and didn't know how to say that she was dying – she sounded like she was about to sob, so she took a deep breath to control herself- so I just hung up. She died that same afternoon… You wouldn't have made it anyway- she finished with a whisper.

He cleaned her tears and she could see that he had some of his own, gathering in his eyes.

-I loved her too, Bonnie. Whenever I think of my parent's funeral I can see her. I can feel her hands in my shoulders- a single tear started running down his cheek and Bonnie was quick to swipe it- thank you. You, Stefan and Sheila were the only reason I made it half-sane.

-She cared about you. I don't know why Stefan told you to walk away.

-He said that you just had gone in there to cry so he didn't know how you'd react to seeing me fighting with your boyfriend.

-Well, if you guys would've let me have a saying about how I felt, things would be different. Why do you guys think you have to protect me from everything?

-Because we haven't been able to protect you from all the things that have happened already.

-What do you mean? You couldn't have protected me from my dad dying the same way I wasn't able to protect you from your parents' death.

-But you didn't deserve that

-Neither did you, Damon. Neither did Stefan. Even Caroline was left by her dad and she didn't deserve that either. We all have bad experiences and no one could protect us from that but that doesn't mean we have to shelter each other from bad experiences. I know I do that with myself but that doesn't mean you all have to do it to me too.

-I'm sorry- he said after a long pause, where they only looked at each other's eyes- You're right. I could've been there for you.

-And I for you. You lost her too. She told me you kept calling her every year on her birthday.

-She called me too.

-I'm sorry, Damon. You guys had a relationship on your own, you needed to be there for her, not me.

-Yes. You're right. I should've…

They smiled sadly at each other, they needed this type of conversation to move forward but it hurt so much thinking about her.

-Would like to go see her after the dance rehearsal? –she asked whispering, kind of afraid he'd say no, she wasn't brave enough to go on her own still.

-Yes, I'd like that very much.

She smiled fondly and he responded with a crooked one before starting the car. She took a deep breath and felt content with herself, because even if it was a very hard thing to do she was happy they got around to do it, there wasn't any other way to actually rebuild their friendship.

* * *

Once they got into the store, Caroline and Stefan were already in there with Nora.

-Hi guys!

-Caroline, please don't scream- said Stefan by her side, with a deep frown.

-Uh, someone's hungover

-Shut up Damon.

-He's been like this all day. I told him he could stay in bed and just leave me hang out with you guys, but you know how he is.

-I know how you are. We have a budget and you don't usually stick to it, so I have to come with you.

-If you're going to be grumpy and take all the fun out of this, then please leave.

-Ok, guys, it's not that deep. - intervened Bonnie, trying to not sound too tough, in case Caroline didn't like that either- It's siting arrangements, let's just relax, take a breather and not fight over these small things.

-You're right, Bonnie. As usual, let's just dive in- responded Caroline gleefully and took her by the arm to move around the store.

-Do you like this? –asked Bonnie pointing at a very cute antique chair.

-No, I want something more majestic

-Care, I love you, but it's going to be in the outdoors, right? People want to see you and maybe the altar, but these magnificent chairs? That's just a waste of money, in my opinion

-You're on Stefan's side now?- asked the blonde putting her hands on her hips.

-Caroline, what's with you today? I feel like I've gone back in time to see my high school friend and not my adult one

-I'm sorry. We got into an argument today and I've been kind of immature about it. You have nothing to do with it, though, so I should stop behaving like this.

-What happened?

-He just told me today that we need to make room for three more of his colleagues. He said one of them got him the job, so he kind of "owes them". And now I have to fix the siting chart, call the food supplier and tell them we need more stuff and it's just too much. The wedding's around the corner and he pulls this thing, I feel like I can't rely on him.

-Oh, come on, Care. You've been relying on him since we were… what? Fifteen? He messes up once and you believe your marriage is doomed? That's unfair.

-I know, it's just… I don't know, I have a bad feeling about this. He has that guilty look on his face, like he isn't telling me everything and… I don't know, maybe I'm just being paranoid.

-Yeah, I'm sure if he had something to tell you he would've already. He's a good guy, Care.

-I know, that's why I'm marrying him

-So, goldilocks, what about this one?- said Damon from behind them.

-I actually really like that one- she responded approaching said chair and dragging Bonnie with her.

-See witchy? I'm helpful

She smiled but didn't want to keep looking at him, the memory of their last conversation still in her mind. She didn't know how he could do it, be totally nonchalant in front of their friends when he was just so open and vulnerable with her a few minutes ago, I mean, they just cried together.

-Yeah, now let's see if we can find something for the decorations- said Caroline unaware of the tension between the other two.

-I already did my part, it's your turn- responded Damon pulling the ends of his lips down.

-All right

She turned around and walked across the room looking for something cute to put in the new chairs they just picked, while everyone else was talking about prices and the logistics of the chair choice.

-It's everything okay?

-Yeah- she turned around and saw a very relaxed Damon, looking at the decorations she had in her hands, but once he looked at her eyes, she could see that he was kind of worried- why?

-I don't know. We've been kinda walking on eggshells with our… friendship so I was just wondering if I did something wrong.

-No, don't worry- she smiled to reassure him- I think it's just me not being able to act normal too soon. Probably because I'm trying to find a balance in between being open and vulnerable and then not worrying people around me.

-So you're really trying to change, ha?

-Yeah, I'm trying to be a better version of myself. It's like… I opened up and it's hard to close myself again so I have to just walk away.

-I get you. I've been there.

-Thanks- she smiled at him with all of honesty and he smiled too, before turning around and helping again on the decorations hunt.

She was happy they got to talk and open up, being vulnerable with each other without a romantic undertone (that was totally one sided). Maybe this could be them now. Maybe she could actually have a real friendship with Damon without being in danger of falling in love with him.

* * *

They were at the dancing class and although the moves they were showing them and making them do were fairly easy she was messing up a lot, mostly because of nervousness.

-Come on, Bon Bon, you promised you wouldn't step on my feet- he teased her, making her realize she could to go back to their banter instead of talking about heavy subjects.

-It's your fault, you made me drink too much last night and now I'm too hungover to know what I'm doing- she was happy to oblige in their little back and forth, especially because there were a lot of other people around and breaking down wasn't an option.

-You said you could handle your liquor.

-I said I wasn't going to get violent. I never said I'd be okay today.

-Jesus. And now you tell me?

-Hey, you too, stop talking and dance- said the teacher, Mary Louise.

She was a bit stiff and hadn't smile the whole time they had been there, but according to Caroline's wedding planner she was the best choreographer in town.

-Just let me lead you, you step on me because you wanna move on your terms, you gotta let me guide you- he whispered to not draw attention to them again.

-Why does it have to be you? Isn't that sexist?- she whispered as well, she was kind of scared of Mary Louise.

-It kinda is, but I can't let you lead because you don't even know what she wants us to do.

-I know, it's this- she moved away from him trying to imitate the other couples but she wasn't very successful.

-Just let me lead for now, when you get the hang of it, you can lead me. I don't really care.

She nodded and took a step forward to take his hand and he placed his other hand in the small of her back. She tried not to react to it and looked past him, because she didn't want him to realize what effect he had on her.

-You need to look at your partner in the eyes- said Mary Louise from behind them, but looking at her through the mirror. That woman was very scary.

\- I don't bite, Bon Bon.

-I know. But you'll distract me with your facial expressions.

-What do you mean?

-Remember when you tried to learn to dance because you finally wanted to go to prom? And then we rehearsed together and you just kept making weird facial expressions and threw me off?

-That was ages ago. - he responded with a wince, but his face had a bit of red. Weird- I won't do now it I promise

-Ok

She looked at him in the eyes while he started guiding the dance, he kept his face neutral as promised and they could finally move along the music in the same way the others were.

And suddenly his eyes were a lot more expressive than before, they were soft, with a few wrinkles around them, and an almost imperceptible smile on his mouth, but she was so close she could see it.

Suddenly he looked at her lips and her heart did not only skip a bit, it seemed like it had exploded and she actually tripped.

-Careful there, witchy- he whispered to her ear, pulling her close so she didn't fall.

-Ok, just let me stand up on my own- she said trying to regain restraint with some space, feeling her face on fire, she could only pray no one around them would realize.

-Fine- he said with a small smile, letting her go and making her lose her balance again, but she recovered and stood up alone, regaining composure.

-Come on, we don't have all day. It's not that hard- yelled Lexi from the back of the room, where she and Klaus were moving in perfect harmony. Actually the only other couple having issues was Rebecca and Matt, but the other four were doing great. She hated that Caroline and Stefan were mad and still were dancing perfectly.

Bonnie took a deep breath and took Damon's hand so he started guiding her again, she looked at him in the eyes and decided that the best way of not getting flustered was to talk to him about regular stuff.

-So, why did you decide you weren't going to prom?

-Because the girl I wanted to ask to come with me already had a date.

-Oh my God, why didn't you tell me you had a crush on a girl that rejected you? I could've stayed home with you, watching a sad movie and eating ice cream.

-I'm not Caroline. That's not what I wanted

-Then what did you want?

He looked at her warily. He didn't seem to want to continue and she wasn't going to push. Even though she really wanted to know who on their right mind could go to prom with someone else having the choice of going with him.

I mean, she had gone with a guy whose name she couldn't even remember, all because she was sad Damon was planning on taking a girl to prom and she couldn't bear the thought of being home alone when he was out partying and kissing somebody else.

That was very bad planned, now that she thought of it, she definitely didn't want to see him kissing someone so she shouldn't have been there for starters. Teenagers have weird plans.

-I don't know. To just spend that night with you

She was so into her own mind that she felt like that came out of nowhere and flustered the hell out of her.

-What?

-Yeah, you know, just spend time the way we used to. Talking about stupid things like UFO's and TV shows and that kind of stuff. I didn't care about ice cream or chick flicks.

-Oh, come on. You watched Pride and Prejudice and you loved it.

-Yeah, it was a good movie but I still don't understand why you had to watch it so many times. With once it's enough.

-What are you talking about? Just one time? You have to see it multiple times to realize about all the little details and the camera work and the way the actors move and everything. Ugh. Such a masterpiece.

-You really love that thing- he said smiling and shaking his head

-Yeah, I love it love it.

-So much that you haven't realized we've done all the steps perfectly

She was about to comment but Mary Louise started showing them new steps so they had to pay attention to her.

* * *

The whole way from the dance studio to the cemetery was silent, a stark contrast with the banter and the romantic music on their ears from a few minutes ago. But now she didn't know what to say or how to act, and neither did him, apparently, so they just stayed quiet.

Once they got out of the car, they looked at each other and nodded, it was time they made peace with her passing and said goodbye together, like they used to do before going to school every morning.

-Do you think she'll be mad?- he asked suddenly in a whisper

-I don't think so, why do you ask?- she asked back in a whisper, something about being in a cemetery made her feel weird about talking too loud.

-Because I haven't visited her in years.

-Wait, so you have visited her?

-Yeah. The day after the funeral, I had to pay my respects.

-Oh. Well, for what it's worth I don't think she could be mad at you about it. She had a soft spot for you, I remember that she used to defend you when I talked shit about you.

-You talked shit about me?- he almost screamed

-Shut up- she shushed him and he smiled but moved his hands, inviting her to respond- Oh, you know. When I used to be mad at you.

-I was too, but I never talked shit about you to Grams.

-She's my Grams, I talk whatever I want to her. Or used to, anyway.

-I bet you still talk to her. I wouldn't blame you, sometimes I feel like calling her too.

They got to her grave and the heaviness came back to them. She felt a little bummed that they hadn't bring her flowers, but she knew that her Grams didn't care about that as much as she cared about them visiting.

She hadn't been able to come in a couple of years, she had told herself that it was because she was so busy with the residency but the truth was that she had no one to go with and she didn't like the idea of going there to cry alone.

She could still hear her voice sometimes, when she was struggling the most. She missed her hugs, though. Tears started streaming down her face and Damon squeezed her shoulder, she turned to him and he had some tears gathering in his eyes as well, but stubborn as he was, he wasn't letting them get out. She decided it was time for some distraction.

-What did you talk about when you called her?

-Everything. About my ideas to start a company. About college, Elena, my relationship with Stefan. How much I missed her and you.

-You talked about me?

-How wouldn't we? You were our only link for so long. She used to say that I should be patient with you, that you'd come around and try to fix things or that I should do that. I told her that I never saw you interested in making up and that your boyfriend seemed more of a bodyguard. She laughed at that, we started calling him your bodyguard after that.

-She made fun of Enzo?- she swiped her tears away, genuinely interested in this side of her Grams she never heard of.

-All the time. She said she liked him as a person, but she didn't like him as your boyfriend.- he seemed to blush and debate if he should carry on and this time she moved her hands to make him continue- She said that she wasn't being fair to him, though, because she always thought that we'd end up together, so she was just mad because he was in the way of that.

-Wow- she was the one to get embarrassed this time, so she tried to change the topic fast- Grams really put a lot of trust in you, didn't she?- but she couldn't do it, it was too big not to discuss it- She wanted us to get together? Damn. She never told me that.

-She said that if she did you'd feel like you had to and she wanted you to choose. She said you had a thing for pleasing the people you love and I always told her that that wasn't like I remembered you, but it makes sense now.

-Yeah… I let your going to New York affect me way more than it should have.

-I'm sorry, Bonnie.

-I know. I'm sorry too. I'm glad I stayed, though. I wouldn't have liked being away from my Grams on her last years.

-Yeah.

They remained silent for a few minutes, looking at her grave and remembering her.

-I don't wanna forget her, Damon- she whispered with a broken voice. She hadn't told anyone about that, but it was a huge fear of hers.

-I don't think you could, Bonnie. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget her, you're out of danger of that.

-That's because she passed just a couple of years ago. But I don't remember everything about my dad. I used to remember the way he smelled, how his hugs felt and the way his voice could always calm me down on a thunderstorm. But I can't remember the details now and that makes me feel like a terrible daughter.

Damon turned to her and took her shoulders to make her face him as well.

-You are not a terrible daughter, Bonnie. You were nine when he died. You don't have memories from him before being like three? Four? So you only have, what? Five years worth of memories? Forgetting details does not make you a bad daughter, Bonnie. It makes you human.

-But I want to remember.

-I know, so do I. I forgot stuff, too. And it kills me, but I made peace with it, because I was 14 when they died. I'm about to have lived twice that.

-There's still a couple of years- she tried to lighten up the mood she had brought down, but Damon needed to get this out, it seemed.

-Yes, and that means that there's going to be more details missed by the time I get there and there's nothing I can do about it. Except maybe watching old family videos, but those break me.

-Yeah. The year before my Grams died we watched a video of my dad on my sixth birthday. I almost couldn't see the next day because of how swollen my eyes were. At first it was fun seeing him, remembering the way he moved and walked but when he laughed… oh God, listening at his laugh made me realize how much I missed him.

The tears came back and Damon pulled her in for a hug, which made her cry even more. She hated that they both had such shitty experiences. A kid deserves to grow up with their parents by their side.

-I know Stefan watches videos like that, but I can't. I can't see them again- he whispered holding her tighter.

They stayed embracing each other and the pain they both tried to ignore, but always came back.

-I can't stay here any longer. Let's just go to my house and watch Pride and Prejudice.- she said looking up at him, still hugging him.

-Really? Pride and Prejudice again?- he smiled at her, with it somehow reaching his eyes and that made her feel better about herself.

-Since we talked about it, I can't stop thinking about it. Plus, I need something to comfort me.

-I thought I was doing that- he argued squeezing her inside of his arms, making her smile this time.

-Yeah, but we're still in the cemetery.

-True. I feel like having some comfort food as well.

-We can make pancakes in my house.

-Deal- he kissed her in the forehead, making her feel warm inside. So, without thinking twice she kissed him in the cheek, which surprised and seemed to embarrass him, because his face turned pink.

-Thank you- she said to distract herself from the fact that she provoked that reaction on him.

-Thank you and your Grams. You two have been a huge part in my life- he finally let her go and turned to the stone in front of them- Thank you, Sheila- he was silent for ten seconds before he started laughing sadly a little bit, sparking Bonnie's interest.

-Why are you laughing now?

-Because I know exactly what she'd say. Anytime I thanked her for something she'd say "I don't need no thank you, I want you to take your ass here, mend things with Bonnie and have dinner with us". I'm sorry I never got around to it, Sheila.

-I'm sure she understands. Plus, we're having dinner now in her house, I'm sure she'd be happy about that.

-You're right.

She looked at her name on the stone and blew it a kiss.

-Thank you, Grams. I miss you. I'll always will, so I promise to come here again with flowers soon.

They walked towards his car in a calm silence this time, without the heavy atmosphere they walked in surrounding them.

Bonnie felt liberated, all these conversations exhausted her but in a good way, it felt like they helped her heal, somehow. She was happy they did this, getting to know her Grams through another person's eyes and getting to hang out with Damon feeling nothing but comfort.

* * *

-Are we really watching this movie again?

-Oh, come on, you loved it last time.

-Yeah, but I thought it was a onetime thing.

-It's not. Just put it on while we make the pancakes.

Bonnie was looking at the things in her fridge to start cooking, thankfully she had all they needed and she started putting everything in the counter, while Damon was moving behind her, playing with her stuff.

-This is a nice sofa, I don't remember this- he was stalling. He didn't want to put the movie on, but she played along to see where this went.

-I bought it with my first residency paycheck, the other one was too old and was hurting Gram's back.

-That's sweet of you- he murmured before finally putting the movie on.

-Ok. Are you going to help me or what? Why do you have your ass on the couch instead of doing something useful?- she said trying to revive the playful tone they used to have.

-Uh oh, bossy-pants is here. I already put the movie on. What else do you want me to do?

-I need help with this.

-Oh, you can't make pancakes on your own? Classic Bonnie- that made her roll her eyes at him and he smiled wryly.

He walked up to her while she was doing the mix and he looked at her propping up against the wall beside her.

-What?- she asked after a few moments, when things started to get awkward. Or at least she was.

-Nothing, I was just remembering the first time we did pancakes in this kitchen. Almost everything is the same.

-Yeah. When she died I stopped caring about modernizing the house, because that meant getting rid of her things and I couldn't do it.

-That's why you still have those pans?

-Hey, the pancake pan it's fairly new.

-You have a pancake pan?

-I love pancakes, okay?

-I know. I introduced you to them.

-You did not. You just told me how to make them.

-Yes, introduced you to the home made ones.

-You're so annoying- she complained with a smile.

-That's why you love me, now scoot over. I'm making the pancakes. You just watch and learn.

She laughed at his cocky attitude and walked away from her spot to watch him work.

She loved the view she was getting, not just because of his backside, but because he seemed like he belonged there, in her kitchen, making her pancakes. For a moment, she let herself fantasize about having him there daily, cooking for her and making her feel more at home.

He turned around and smiled crookedly at her, making her feel like he caught her, but her defensive mode jumped out.

-What? I can't look at you now?

-I'm not saying that but it looks like you're enjoying it too much.

-Well, it's nice to have someone to cook for you for a change- she responded looking at the floor, trying to calm herself down. Her heart was still racing but she didn't know if it was because of the fantasy or feeling like she got caught.

-Pff, Enzo was really crappy if he didn't. If you would've dated me instead of that idiot, you'd have pancakes every weekend.

That didn't help to slow her racing heart, in fact did the opposite. He seemed honest, to make it worst and she thought about teasing him to make the feeling go away.

-You kind of seem a little bit too excited about that scenario.

-And what if I am?

They looked at each other in silence for a bit, she was taken aback and he seemed to be honest again, which sent a million butterflies to her stomach and her heart was racing harder than before. But it took her too long to respond and her phone started ringing. She vacillated, unsure of what to do next, but Damon turned around, so she looked at her phone.

It was Caroline so she picked up, she called to remember her that the next day they had rehearsals early and then a spa day with the girls. When she hang up, Damon was flipping pancakes and being a total Master Chef on her kitchen, which made her smile.

She remember how she had thought earlier that they could actually be friends without her crushing on him the entire time, but it seemed like she was wrong, if anything, the friendship aspect of this new relationship was making it feel more real. Exactly the way she used to feel all those years ago, but somehow different. It scared her that now that they were older and wiser she could be in more danger of falling hopelessly in love with him.

He turned to her with that crooked smile and she could feel herself losing her breath. Damn it.

This feeling was definitely more than just friendship

* * *

Ok, this was a long one. Hopefully you guys liked it. I know everyone is waiting for them to kiss and confess but these people are stubborn and I'm into slowburns haha. It's still advancing and building the foundations of their relationship, we are close to uncovering secrets and Bonnie shifting the way her relationships work.

I hope you guys like the way this is going and you let me a review about your opinion of it, I looove reading those and sometimes I respond them, unless I feel like I'm giving too much away.

All right, have fun and happy reading! See you next week.


	8. Chapter 8

VIII. His own medicine

They ate the pancakes on her very old table, in an awkward silence. She hadn't decided yet if Caroline's call had save her or doomed her. Did he really mean it? It seemed like it, but he had never really said anything or expressed interest before.

Well, there was that kiss. But it was hardly a kiss, it was a peck in the lips and then he never addressed it again, leaving her wondering what that meant, exactly like right now.

-Earth to Bonnie- he teased, taking her out of her head, apparently he had talked to her before.

-Yes?

-I'm sorry if I made things awkward. I was joking.

-Oh- she didn't try to sound disappointed, but she was and he seemed to pick it up, because he smiled wryly- I know. That's not why I was silent.

-Then what is it?

-I… I was just thinking about something Caroline told me- she lied trying to sound convincing.

-What is that?

-Well… you know. She and Stefan got into a fight the other day, over new guests. I was just wondering why Stefan did what he did- she lied again, because she was sure that Caroline wasn't even mad anymore, but she needed a way out.

-Oh… that.

-Yes, that. Why? Do you know something about it?

-Me? Psht. No- he answered looking at his pancakes, he definitely knew something.

-What is it?

-Witchy, it's not my business. Actually it's not yours either, so leave it alone.

-So there is something to know. Interesting.

-Everything's okay. Relax. Eat your pancakes.

She looked at him for a while before she kept eating what he cooked. There was something he was hiding but she didn't know if she wanted to push anymore, if he ended up telling her something and wanted her to stay quiet, there was no way in hell she could. She would have to tell her best friend. But she couldn't let it go.

-Is he going to be in trouble? Is the wedding going to be in trouble?

-Come on! Why do you believe the worst is going to happen?

-Because I know Caroline. She was freaking out about this in the morning, if there's more she's going to freak out even more.

-Bonnie, really, there's nothing to worry about. Worry about your life, getting a job and buying more stuff for your house, your Grams doesn't care about these pans. She'd hate to see that you're holding on to these things instead of her memory.

She didn't know where that came from. He was not playing nice and that meant that she had struck a nerve. She was dwelling on how to proceed but he seemed to feel bad under her gaze, he was fidgeting and he wasn't looking at her. He knew he messed up.

He couldn't take it anymore, apparently, so he stood up and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

-Damon… You didn't have to snap at me. You know something and you don't want to tell me and that's fine, but you don't need to push me away by hurting my feelings. That's messed up.

She was calmed, she wasn't mad but she was tired of accepting these kind of behaviors from her friends. She needed to put her foot down sometimes and he needed to listen to her.

-You're right- he whispered turning around. He was standing in the middle of her kitchen while she looked at him from the table. He was looking at the floor, like a scolded kid and that made him look adorable but she wasn't going to budge.

-And?

-And I'm sorry. I hate saying that because I feel it doesn't change anything. I already messed up and hurt your feelings.

-Yeah, but if you say you're sorry I can see that you realize you messed up and maybe even forgive you.

-I do and I won't do it anymore... I need some changing on my own- he continued after a while.

-We all do

-Yeah, but you're really working on it, you're actually changing and I feel like I'm staying behind. I mean, that's a crappy self-defense mechanism. I used to use it with Stefan and Elena, but never with you. We've been all right for what? A few days now? And I'm already fucking things up. Are you sure you're in this ride?

He looked actually insecure, even if he had said it in a humorous way. He was trying to pass it as a joke but he was scared. And that broke her nonchalant façade.

She stood up and walked up to him, he was avoiding her gaze and seemed taken aback when she put her arms around him, which made her smile.

-I know you, Damon. The real you. I know how you get when you are excited, when you're cranky, when you're tired and when you're happy. I was your ride or die for years, even before we knew what that meant. We were friends in the worst time of our lives, why wouldn't we be friends now that things are going so good?

-I've missed you Bonnie Bennet.

-And I you, Damon Salvatore.

* * *

-One, two, three. Go!- screamed Mary Louise and they started to move.

It was early and she and Damon were still adjusting to the rhythm, but they were doing it fairly good, mostly because they just had to stick to the basic step for a few tempos. The hard part, though, was that they had to change positions around the bride and groom, who were in the middle of their friends, dancing and smiling oblivious of the other's struggle to find their mark and the perfect symmetry.

After that, they had to do some actually simple things, basic steps, spinning in the same place and a few steps to each side, all that was easy peasy. However, there was one step in particular that was difficult for her, mostly because it was too intimate. He had to turn her around and then pull her in with her back leaning on his front side. She could feel every muscle in his body and _God it was a good body_.

They also had to be cheek to cheek and her face was very hot from the proximity, she knew he could feel it because she felt his face turn to a smile. Bastard. He knew the effect he had on her and he was enjoying it.

Then he spun her and they were face to face again, he had that cocky smile and she just rolled her eyes, making him smile wider and more honestly.

They rehearsed the same movements and when it was time for her to lean on him, she prepared herself to not get flustered and to see if she actually had an effect on him. So, she arched her back and felt how he stifled immediately. She could also feel the heat on his face this time. And something else down south.

He spun her again and his, now red, face had no trace of cockiness, he was avoiding her eyes, which made her smile triumphant. So she had an effect on him as well, that was good to know.

Next time they did it, they both tried to get a reaction from each other, but got one from someone else.

-Hey kids, I get there's sexual tension, but let's keep it PG-13- screamed Lexi over the music, making them blush even more. She had forgotten for a moment that they had an audience.

-Focus!- screamed Mary Louise, making everyone stop looking at them and doing their steps, so Bonnie thanked her with her eyes. She nodded, so she was well aware of how she was saving their dignity. Damn. She started liking the scary lady.

She couldn't look at Damon in the eyes for the next five minutes, but oddly their dance moves got better, even thought there was a good distance in _that_ particular movement.

When they were finally looking at each other again, they couldn't keep the embarrassed little smiles and complicit looks, like little kids getting caught while doing something they shouldn't do.

And then, when they were finally getting comfortable with each other again the class finished and the embarrassment fell onto Bonnie again like a pile of bricks.

-This was an interesting class- offered Matt, seemingly to make things comfortable again and she'd always thank him for that.

-Pretty much- said Rebecca

-I mean, I knew you both had urges but damn!

-Lexi!

-What? Isn't that what we're all thinking? Let it be known, maybe then…

-Just shut up, please- said Stefan softly, he could never scream or be mad at her, but even he could see she was taking things too far.

-Ok, I'm sorry

-It's ok love, they just like deceiving themselves- offered Klaus with a knowing smile.

-Yes, let's bounce. You promised me lunch.

-Weren't we going to the spa?- asked Rebecca a little bit angry, she didn't seem to enjoy the attention Klaus was giving Lexi.

-Oh, didn't Caroline told you?

-Tell us what?- chimed in Bonnie, relieved the attention wasn't on her anymore.

-Sorry, I got confused last night. I was just so looking forward for it that I messed up. The spa thing it's scheduled tomorrow. I actually wasn't the one to realize, Stefan did.

-It's ok, with all the things we have going on, it's better if we just have a day off- said Stefan putting his arm around her fiancé.

They kept talking about the wedding and all they had to do, but Bonnie was just paying attention to the warmth coming from Damon's body by her side. She knew he was going to want to hang out, but she wasn't sure that that was the best. She needed some space.

After those movements, she kind of felt turned on and that wasn't okay, they were just starting to rebuild their friendship but she hadn't had some in a few months now. Almost a year, actually, and he was just so fucking hot.

But she couldn't let herself succumb to her physical needs, she had feelings for him, the situation was already messy, she didn't need to make it messier with sexy thoughts.

-You okay?- asked Damon, taking her out of her mind. Everyone was getting out of the studio and they seemed to be the last ones.

-Yes, let's get out of here- she responded taking her stuff from the floor and walking outside, with him following her.

-Okay, I was thinking, we have nothing to do after this. Maybe you could cook for me this time.

-As fun as that sounds for me, I think I should do some very late spring-cleaning.

-We're in summer.

-Exactly. I need to get rid of a lot of stuff and maybe decide on getting some new things.

-Does this have to do with what I said last night?- he asked while opening her door.

-No, well… you were right, but I've been thinking about it for some time now- she said without looking at him, even thought he was standing there with the door open.

-Okay- he closed the door and walked to his side to get into the car- I'll just take you home and do some work of my own then.

There was an uncomfortable silence while they were going to her house, she wasn't sure what caused it, so she didn't know how to fix it.

-Did I say something wrong?

-No, it's all cool- he responded rapidly, making her feel like she had.

-Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything.

He smiled and turned his head to the side, his eyes said "are you sure?" and both knew she was lying. She didn't know what he wanted to tell her, but she knew she wasn't ready, whatever it was. So she just stayed quiet until he dropped her at her house.

* * *

-So? Have you done the deed?-asked the blonde moving her eyebrows at her the next day.

-What are you talking about Lexi?- answered Bonnie while putting her face inside the hole in her massage table.

They were at the spa, getting relaxed, which she definitely needed and thank God Caroline decided to postpone the dancing lessons until tomorrow, they were going to be in the studio for quite some time the next day, but with the way things ended up with Damon she'd rather face him after the spa thing.

-Oh, come on! Even I can see that all that sexual tension, just get it over with already!- shouted Rebecca from her massage table, which honestly startled her, she was the only one that hadn't commented on her situation yet.

-What are you guys talking about?- asked Bonnie playing oblivious, still hiding her face. She was mortified they were freely talking about her sexual life in front of all these massagers.

-Bonnie, we have seen you as friends, best friends, stranded friends and now with this weird sexual friendship. We all know what you guys have gone through and we all see it. Why don't you?

Caroline was speaking about it too? Have they made too much of a scene that they were all commenting about it freely? Were they right? Was she wasting her time just being friends with him?

Nah, they just wanted them to be together, like they used to when they were teens.

-Because there's nothing to see. We are trying to get back to being friends and there's no sexual tension whatsoever.

-Agh! That's bullshit. You had your butt on his crotch. Not even Klaus and I were doing that, and we're actually boning.

-Come on, Lexi! I don't wanna hear about it

-Rebecca, you know about this for quite some time now

-Which doesn't mean I like hearing about it.

-Ok, but we're not talking about that, we're talking about Bonnie and Damon and how they need to fuck already.

-Can we just, not talk about this right now?

-When, then?

-I don't know. Let's go get some drinks later, but just let me relax right now, okay?

-Fine- said all three of them.

-But we're going to your place, Lexi. I love the views of your apartment.

-And you don't want us to go to your place because I'll stay there with Klaus.

-You're so smart, love, that's why I'd like for you to be my sister in law instead of her fuck buddy.

-Honey, no. Your brother is great in the bed, but he's and asshole. If I get into a relationship it will be with someone that treats me right and spoils the shit out of me.

-You're right. I should break up with Matt, shouldn't I?

-What? Where the fuck did you get that from?

-He doesn't spoils me that much, he hasn't proposed yet!

-He puts up with a lot of shit, honey, you're a handful. And he makes you happy, why do you need marriage, anyway?

-Lexi!- shouted Caroline

-What?

-She's not a handful, she has bad stuff, but she is also crazy talented, beautiful, loyal and funny. Don't undermine her.

-Fine. I just think that you're asking too much of him. You guys haven't been together for more than three years, Caroline and Stefan were together for eight years before getting engaged.

-Yeah but…

Bonnie stopped listening to them, she was finally relaxed and enjoying her massage. She had no idea what she was going to talk about with them once they got to the drinking, but she didn't want that to get in the way of her massage.

Okay, maybe she was procrastinating thinking about stuff again, but this time she had a good excuse right?

She realized it was still an excuse. But she really didn't want to talk about that, much less think about it. He was just a flirt, with everyone, maybe he was testing his skills with her? But he had never done that, so why start now?

They had been always very hands on deck, they used to hug each other all the time and invade each other's personal space almost every chance they got, but that was just part of being friends. Their friendship came with that kind of behavior and she never thought anything of it, unlike her friends. They always said that that meant they wanted to be together and it was the case on her part, but him? She always thought he wasn't on the same page.

Until now. I mean, he had kissed her before he left and now he had enjoyed getting her flustered and he had got flustered when she did something, but maybe it was a human thing to do when you touched someone like that?

She wasn't sure.

* * *

They finally came out of the spa, relaxed and with their skin glowing.

-I'm hungry, guys- said Bonnie while walking towards Caroline's car.

-Yeah, me too. Let's order sushi!- shouted Rebecca with her eyes glowing.

-Oh, I can't, you know I'm on a diet.

-Care. I love you, but you're crazy. You're slim, hot and perfect and if you keep dieting you're gonna lose your butt. So sushi it is- sentenced Lexi. She took her phone out and started asking everyone what their favorite store was to order.

-I love that we're drinking and eating together, we haven't had a girls night out in forever!

-Caroline, we had one a few months ago- said Rebecca looking at her nails.

-Yes, but without Bonnie. This one is with all of us.

-Well, then it's been years.

They got to the car and Bonnie didn't know how to feel. She usually avoided girls' nights out, but she never realized she had skipped them so much that they didn't tell her about them anymore, even though it made sense. I mean, she was in residency and she obviously was going to say no, but it still stung a bit.

They got into the car talking about the sushi and prices and stuff and Bonnie just faked a smile and accepted everything that the girls suggested.

Lexi and Rebecca were sitting in the back, loudly discussing about a certain ingredient but she didn't really care.

-Are you okay Bonnie?- whispered Caroline

-Yeah, why?

-I don't know. You seem off.

-It's all good.

-You know I love you right?

-Yes and I love you. So? What happened between you and Stefan?- she said trying to get the focus of the conversation out of herself and Carline smiled knowingly.

-He apologized and worked on the sitting chart with me. He called the food providers and catering – she answered gleefully- so, I forgave him.

-That's what I wanted to hear

-I'm still curious, though. – she said starting to sound serious- He wouldn't tell me the names of these people and he still has that look. I wonder if that's bad news

-You have to talk to him, there's no other way to resolve things but to communicate

-Someone's all shrink in here

-Well, you have to learn from your mistakes.

-And Bonnie knows a thing or two about avoiding communication, in ….

-Lexi, stop it- interrupted Caroline rolling her eyes.

-Oh, but she's going to talk about it. We're all talking about it and some other stuff too. I need to know what is going to be your honeymoon's lingerie. And Rebecca has to tell us if Matt it's good in bed. I tried to hook up with him a few times but he never fell on my trap.

-Your vagina, you mean?

-CAROLINE!

-Oh, come on, Bex, you were thinking it too.

-Well, maybe but I don't wanna talk about my boyfriend like that.

-Don't worry, you'll be very drunk when we get to that topic, first on the list is Bonnie, then Care and then you.

-And what about you?- asked Bonnie this time, getting the hang of the dynamic.

-What else do you need to know? I tell you bitches everything.

-Well, you need to tell us how was the first time you hooked up with Klaus of course- responded Care

-I need buzz first- said Lexi with a wince.

-Don't we all?- asked Rebecca dramatically, making them all laugh.

Well, maybe she had missed hanging out with them all.

* * *

They ate, drank, danced and laughed together. When she wasn't so defensive about her personal life she had much more fun with the girls, especially since Lexi liked to call everyone out, but she had waited a long time this time around, probably waiting for them to be drunk first.

-Okay, now will you tell us what's in the way of you and Damon being in bed already?

-Lexi, we spent years hating each other, we just started being friends again and we're trying to be that, friends. I don't want to ruin it with sex.

-You could maybe just sleep with him once to get him out of your system.

-No, that's not what I want to happen.

-But maybe Damon does. And, let's be honest, you both want that, why aren't you just friends with benefits if one time isn't enough?

-I just said it, that's not what I want

-And I know why not. Because you're…

-Lexi, stop it- interrupted Caroline with a warning in her eyes- stop pushing it. If they ever want that, then they'll do it. But you can't tell everyone to just do what you'd do.

-I think they should, though, it's liberating when you start just saying what you think and what you want. The worst that can happen it's them saying no and then if you don't say anything it's already a no. Just do something brave for once in your life, Bonnie.

-Lex, I don't wanna lose him again- she whispered, the alcohol had clearly gotten to her, because she wasn't always this sincere with Lexi.

-I know, but I don't think you will. Damon… like… adores you.

-What are you taking about?

-Do you not have eyes? Do you not see the way he looks at you? Talks to you? How he wants to spend every single moment with you?

-That's because we've lost so many years. We were like really tight back in the day and he's always looked at me the same way.

-Exactly.

-Lexi, just let her get there on her own- said Rebecca after a few moments in silence- they both need to get there on their own terms, you can't force them.

-But they could be so… fucking cute- she said making her hands into fists, she seemed passionate about it.

-Ok, now you're making it weird- commented Caroline before laughing. They all did.

-Ok, fine, I'm out of your lives. It's Care's turn.

-Oh, boy.

They all kept drinking and sharing and Bonnie felt so much better with their presence and also with what they all said. I mean, Lexi was the one that talked more, but the others seemed to agree, even when they didn't say anything to her.

Could she be so blind that she couldn't see what everyone else did? And what that? Sexual tension? Feelings? She needed to pay more attention.

* * *

-Ok, honey. Don't … don't worry I called you… an uber just for you- said Lexi, struggling to get the words out, because of the alcohol.

-Ok- Bonnie was just relaxed on the sofa. Caroline and Rebecca wanted to stay there to sleep, but Bonnie hated sleeping in other people's bed.

After a few minutes of her falling sleep in the sofa, Lexi started moving her.

-He's here!- she screamed excited. Bonnie didn't know why she was so excited about it but lifted herself up and walked out of the house with Lexi.

-Oh fuck. Really Lexi?- she asked opening her eyes wide once they got to see the "uber".

-What?- asked Damon outside.

-Did you really called him? You said it was just an uber.

-Are you mad it's him?

-Shut up- she said rolling her eyes while walking towards his car, he seemed puzzled but opened the door for her without saying a word.

-Are you okay?- he asked once he got into the car himself.

-Excellent

-Are you sure? You seem a little too much to the left

She realized he was right, so she moved her body to be sitting straight

-Is this good enough for you, Mr. Salvatore?

-Uh, bitchy Bonnie is here. I like her.

-No. You don't know me when I'm bitchy. You only know me on my cranky self.

-Bon bon, you were a bitch to me literally for years.

-That was pissed off Bonnie, not bitchy Bonnie- he looked at her like saying 'really?'- EYES ON THE ROAD!

-Okay, all right. Jesus. You haven't changed a bit.

-Really? After all the effort I've put into changing you're telling me that?- she knew she was acting like a child but the alcohol just got her and wasn't letting her behave.

-Oh, come on! I meant you haven't changed the good stuff. You are changing what you realized was wrong, but all the other stuff? The funny, sassy, childish, quirky Bonnie is still here. And I live for it, honestly.

-Really? Do you?

-Yeah, I love that stuff about you.

She remained in silence for a bit, thinking about what the girls said today. About how the sexual tension was building up and how he adored her. I mean, she had had very strong feelings for him before but she never knew how he felt. I mean, on her side and present tense she felt attracted to him, obviously and she could rely on him for everything and it kinda felt like she was falling again for him but she could just be evoking feelings from the past and she could totally be over him.

Maybe the girls were right and she needed to have sex with him to get him out of her system.

-Maybe.

-Maybe what?

-What?

-You said maybe.

-No I didn't.

-Yes you did, like five seconds ago.

-Nah.

He smiled and shook her head, he was so sexy with his wild bed hair and the light striking on his blue eyes and his old T-shirt that was clearly a pajamas. She really wanted to invite him over. But she knew it was a mistake.

-Is everything okay?

-Why do you ask?- she said with her eyes still wandering on him.

-You have been staring at me for the past five minutes.

-I was just thinking.

-About what?

-Nothing, stuff the girls said. They're crazy- she kind of wanted to tell him and not. She really wanted to see his reaction but she knew it was reckless.

-What were they saying?

-I don't wanna tell you.

They got to her house and he parked outside. He walked out to open her door and took her hand to help her out.

-Thank you

-You can thank me telling me what they said- he whispered very close to her, still with his hand in her hand.

-I shouldn't- she whispered back a little breathless, making him smile crookedly and closing a bit of the distance, making her remember more and more of the kiss they had all those years ago.

-But you want to, don't you?- he whispered, making her fall onto his spell, like a fog filling her brain.

-I kinda do ...- she whispered looking at his mouth. So close…

-Then go for it

-They... -she couldn't get her eyes to leave his lips, so close to hers and her caution flew out the wind- they said we should have sex.

He pulled back when she answered and she could feel a the fog pull back with him.

-Really? And do you think so too?

He wasn't very happy with her answer, it seemed. His frown was down and his eyes were very intense, he wanted to know what her answer was, but she wasn't ready for it.

-I don't have to tell you anything- she said letting his hand go.

He tried getting closer to her again, but she walked to her house, she needed the space between them. He followed her and when she got to her door he took her arm very gently.

-Can you please tell me?

She turned around and he looked very tired, very young also. The pajamas and crazy hair were part of it, but also the honesty and raw emotion in his eyes. It remembered her of herself, looking in the mirror, practicing how she was going to ask him what that kiss meant. She never got to do it, because when he came back he was an asshole to her, so she felt like giving him some of his own medicine.

-I'll answer if you answer something first.

-And what would that be?

-Why did you kiss me before going to New York?

His eyes widened and he took a step back as soon as she finished her question, making her take a step forward.

He looked at her very surprised and suddenly his head moved to the left.

-You're losing balance again- he whispered.

He was right, she was. She was very drunk, but this conversation needed to happen.

-You're right, but that isn't an answer to my question.

-I think it's okay if we both keep our secrets for a little bit.

-So you don't want my answer either?- she asked almost screaming, she was starting to get angry at him.

-I'd rather not. I think it's okay to have secrets between friends, it's healthy even- he answered with that usual nonchalant attitude she usually envied.

She turned around and opened her door, she heard him sight but he hadn't moved and that's when a brilliant idea came to her mind.

She let her door open and turned around.

-Then what's another secret between friends? - she asked before walking to him and giving him a peck on the lips, just as fast as he did almost eight years ago.

When she pulled back his eyes were huge and he was opening his mouth, but she wasn't going to let him say anything.

She turned around and closed the door behind her, smiling triumphantly.

* * *

Hi guys! I'm so sorry I couldn't upload on schedule, but I've been crazy busy lately. I'm still kinda proud I could upload so soon. Part of the issue was that I felt like the chapter wasn't exciting enough and then I changed a bunch of things and added some scenes that weren't intended for this chapter but I just felt like it was lacking somewhere. I finally felt good about it like ten minutes ago, before I decided to edite and then submit. Hopefully you guys will tell me if you felt it was too slow somewhere or if you liked that this once had more opinions and dialogues from the other people in this world instead of just focusing on Damon and Bonnie.

Another thing I wanted to discuss is a review I got about a line I put in the last chapter: "_good thing she was black because if she wasn't she'd be the same color as her blood_." Someone called me out on it for perpetrating stereotypes about black people and how Bonnie is lightskinned so she'd still blush and I'm so sorry about it. I've tried to avoid stereotypes and make my characters as human as possible and not just go with what they're supposed to be like. I didn't mean it as she wouldn't blush, though, I know she'd do it but I meant it wasn't going to be as noticeable as if Caroline blushed furiosly, for example. I was thinking about the context of having an audience and her being relieved that it wouldn't be as obvious for the rest, but since it can be taken out of context I decided to take it out from the chapter.

Thank you for calling me out on that and for the rest of your review, it was very sweet. Also, all of your reviews bring a smile to my face, so thank you very much guys! have a nice week and hopefully I can upload next week without issue, but I'm not sure if it's going to be Tuesday or Wednesday. I don't know if I'll have time, so I won't make any promises. I always write on the tumblr if things are not coming soon and also some sneak peeks so it's worth checking that out :)

Anyway, happy reading!


	9. Chapter 9

IX. Jealousy?

A weird thing had happened that morning, she was dehydrated, she had severe memory loss and a lack of communication from Damon, who usually woke her up to go to the dance rehearsal.

She had a vague memory of him picking her up in Lexi's house, but not much. Maybe on the way to the dance studio he'd be able to enlighten her.

She was about to text him, asking if he was picking her up or should call an uber or Caroline to do so, when she saw a text from Damon.

_**I'm sorry, I need to go back to New York, Elena needs my help**_

What?! Elena? The girl that wasn't the one because he wanted to change him? The girl who seemed to had a crush on Stefan? That girl? Really?

Why did he need to go to New York to help his ex? I mean, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, but he had committed himself to learn this dance sequence, to Caroline, to his brother, to _her_.

He just left her alone in this after he said he'd be there for the full two weeks prior the wedding to learn the damn choreography and he said he'd help with the last minutes arrangements and she was all alone on this again. Which was what she wanted at first, but not anymore. They were friends now.

And as friends he should've called, not send a half-assed text. She decided to not responded in a couple of hours, she just needed to make herself some breakfast and calm herself, otherwise she'd send a reckless text, accusing him of being the worst friend in the world. And he kind of was.

She just left the phone on the counter top to make herself a big breakfast, with bacon and everything, because of course she wasn't going to go alone to the dance rehearsal, so she had time to waste. In fact, she had the whole damn day to do nothing.

While taking the things out of the fridge, she couldn't help to look at the screen with furious eyes every couple of minutes, though. She was pissed and as much as she was trying to calm herself down and just enjoy her newfound free time, she just hated that he left without notice.

_When are you coming back?_

She couldn't help but to take the damn phone and write him back. The bacon could wait.

_**In five days**_

He responded immediately, probably because he knew he was doing something wrong. He dared leave her alone with everything and after picking her up in the middle of the night? Without telling her what the fuck happened? Bastard.

_Well, thank you for letting me alone with the arrangements and everything. Have fun with your ex._

_**Careful witchy, I could think you're jealous. **_

Her blood started to boil and she felt like punching him in the face, but she calmed herself down and put the eggs in the pan to eat along with her bacon. Cracking them made her feel good, like she was actually hurting him.

She put the bacon in another pan and almost dropped it because she was thinking about his stupid face, she could almost remember a moment from the night before, but when she was in the brink of getting the memory her phone rang again. Another text.

_**Oh, and by the way, she works for me. I came to fix something regarding the company**_

Well. Maybe she needed the earth to open a hole up and swallow her whole right then and there because she had just made a big deal out of something work related. All because of Elena being named.

Could it be true? Could she be jealous? Nah. He was just playing games with her mind. He could've just text her he had company issues and that's why he needed to head back, he didn't need to put her name on the text. He wanted to make her jealous. Bastard.

She decided she wasn't going to care about it anymore, so she just called Caroline to see if she needed her and how they were going to proceed regarding the dance situation.

She unlocked her phone and a message from Lexi popped up

**Did you guys boned? Is the sexual tension gone by now?**

Sexual tension? She knew she had spoken with her and the girls about that but she felt there was another conversation… Oh God. Oh no. Oh shit.

She remembered it clearly now, him helping her out of the car, staying close to her, asking her to tell him about something. His lips so close she could've kissed him without any difficulty. Shit. She told him about her conversation with the girls? About them having to have sex?

And he stepped back when she said it. Oh God. She had made a fool of herself, almost throwing herself at him and talking to him about sex, of course he left. He left to be away from her and her horny ass. Of course, there's no other explanation.

But… he was the one who put himself close to her, he was the one who whispered and never let go of her hand while convincing her of telling him. Was that because he knew the effect he had on her? Or because he wanted to be close? And if he knew the effect he had then why leave the next day?

God. She thought she had enough questions before, but now that she had remembered, she was actually more confused. She flipped her bacon too late and tried not to wince at the brown look of it, she had made a mistake, but she could totally eat it, she just needed to prepare herself first, since she couldn't change what already happened.

She should start thinking like that on her life choices as well.

* * *

-Thank you!- she screamed at the uber driver once she finally got out all of her stuff of the trunk. She had told Damon the truth, she decided she needed to let go of some stuff, so she had a lot of big bags full of things that she didn't need anymore.

Some of them had to go to the trash, some were too personal (like her Grams favorite spoon) and some still had some life to give, but she deserved to have a full set of plates, instead of the last three that remained.

The uber driver left and she took her bags to the "Donate" section of Goodwill. She had many bags and the person who was receiving the donations helped her get them to his front desk and when it was all in there he went through all of the stuff, to make sure they could sell them.

Everything was in order, obviously, and she left happy to the nearest IKEA. She needed a new coffee table, a modern shelf and definitely a new cookware set. But maybe that one could be bought at Walmart, because those were cheaper there. Plus, they had free shipping, so she'd just choose one online.

She walked through the halls, looking for the perfect furniture when a voice invaded her head.

"Can you please tell me?"

An image of a very young looking Damon invaded her mind as well. She remembered seeing herself in him, seeing the pleading in his eyes and wanting to weaponize it as some sort of revenge for her younger self. She really was a bitch when she was drunk.

She remembered it all now. She had to stop walking and actually support herself with the nearest rack to not fall to the ground, because she was kind of dizzy.

She had kissed him.

She had fucking kissed him. Why? Because she was a bitch. Because he had said that they should keep their secrets for a little while. Why had that bothered her so much? She remembered seeing him change his attitude, from the young, naïve and desperate Damon to the nonchalant one.

What changed?

She had lost balance again. She was drunk. She knew, he knew. Did that mean that he didn't want to talk about the kiss because she was drunk? Did he want to talk about it while being sober or not talk about it at all?

She took a deep breath and started walking again, she looked like she was drunk and she didn't want anyone to see her having a weakness moment over a Damon thing in the middle of IKEA.

But shit had just hit the fan so she needed her best friend, she couldn't just keep shopping as if nothing had happened.

-Hello? Bonnie?

-Yes, Caroline. I'm kinda getting really confused really fast and I really need to talk to someone right now.- she said as fast as she could

-Ok. Where are you?

-IKEA.

-Ok. I'm coming as soon as possible, I haven't eaten yet, thought.

-There's a restaurant close by, we could have lunch.

-Great, because I'm starving and wasn't feeling like cooking. You'll have to wait just a tiny bit because I just got out of the shower

-Right. The dance rehearsal.

-Yes, but it's ok. I need a recharge of energies and a restaurant sounds great. I'll be there in half an hour, tops.

-Ok. I'll try to actually get something done and get the stuff I got here to buy.

-Ok, let me know if you'd rather I park in there to get your stuff in my car.

-Great. I get a good listener and an uber ride. You're great, Care.

-Always at your service.

-Ok, see ya.

-See ya.

She tried to focus on the furniture in front of her instead of the thousand thoughts running through her head. She went to look for a cart, before she was determined to get things done and after ten minutes, she could actually be able to find the coffee tables. Another five minutes and she found the one that she had in mind, she put it in the cart and kept looking for a couple of modern shelfs.

She found some in a diamond shape and decided she was getting two of those and maybe a lamp to modernize the whole living room.

She needed to make it feel like it was her own. And then the image of Damon in her kitchen, cooking for her appeared on her mind again. Damn, pancakes every weekend? She wished that was a reality. But that wasn't what she needed to think about right that moment, she needed to think about lamps and nothing else.

She settled for a nice and tall lamp made out of wood and went to check out right when Caroline texted an "I'm outside" text. She did everything pretty fast and was outside looking for her best friend's car in five minutes.

-Hey girl!- screamed the blonde while opening her trunk.

-Hi Care! How's it going?

They hugged and started putting the boxes into the car.

-Amazing, but we danced for a long time, so I'm gonna need us to go to eat ASAP

-Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't go

-It's ok, it's not your fault. Damon texted me this morning about it and when I looked for him in the house to ask for explanations he had already left.

-Mmm… let's put this one on top of this other one- said Bonnie rearranging the boxes, she needed a distraction from the Damon subject before she exploded.

-Yeah, that'd work much better, ha?

-Yeah

They finished and Bonnie went to sit on the passenger seat to go to the restaurant and she was still taken aback by what she had done the night before and for his reactions and him being missing now.

-Are you ok? You seem much calmer than you were when you called me.

-Yeah, I'm trying not to think about it all, but it's just hard.

-Well, I'm here now. Tell me.

-All right, let's just wait until we're in the restaurant. I just need to put in order my thoughts and see if I can remember more, because I just have parts of conversations.

-Ok, I have no idea of what you're talking about, but I'll wait until it makes sense.

-Thank you- she responded smiling to her best friend.

She drove to the nearest restaurant while Bonnie tried to remember and she remembered some of the conversation they had in the car or at least how the whole sexual tension thing came to be brought up.

-And?- asked Caroline as soon as they got inside of the restaurant, with expecting eyes.

-Ok, I can only remember a few things from the conversation last night- she proceeded to talk about the car conversation, how he was wearing pajamas and her muttering the word "maybe" making him curious.

-I would be curious about that too

-Yeah… I… think I can remember a bit more. I remember feeling good about myself because of something he said before…

-Uuh romance

-No, I'm not sure it was romance- she kept trying to remember and then it got back to her- He told me he loved some stuff about me- she said with a little smile and her face on fire.

-Oh my God, it is romance! What does he love?

-I think he said something about me being funny? I think sassy was also said. I'm not sure, though, it's all a fog, really.

-But you remember him saying he looovees that about you?

-Yes, vividly- she whispered before being asked what they were ordering. They looked at the menu and ordered quickly.

-Is that why you were freaking out?-asked Caroline when the waiter left.

-No, that's not it- she cleared her throat and drank some water that the waiter had brought before telling her everything she remembered, whispering when she was talking about the almost kiss and how she budged to his influence and then whispering again when she talked about the kiss.

-Oh God- said Caroline before making a very high-pitched sound, which made everyone around them look at them like they were crazy.

-Caroline stop it, this isn't romance, he's the most frustrating person I know. That happened last night and he left? He was the one who made us be so close to being with, he knows he has an effect on me and then when I said the sex thing he seems… upset? Disappointed? I don't understand , especially because he just left with nothing more than a fucking text.

-Bonnie breathe- said Caroline with a smile- It's going to be okay. I get that this part is confusing but…

-What part?- she interrupted

-You know, the part where you both sort out your feelings. I mean, we can all see it. We told you, now it's just a matter of time before you guys see it too.

-Care, I love you, but you're not helping.

The food came and they thanked the waiter and started eating, because they were both pretty hungry.

-You know, you just need to talk. I mean, you're a smart woman and I bet you'd decipher this in a heartbeat if this had happened to me or any other person. It's just that it's harder being in the center of it all, especially when you have feelings you've been hiding for a while.

-So, I should look at it from an outsider perspective?

-Yes

-Then why don't you give me your perspective?

-Well…- she drank from her water again, she seemed hesitant but Bonnie wanted this so she kept staring at her best friend with intensity- I think he thinks this is a serious topic and he couldn't talk about it while you were drunk.

-I got that myself, I think the same thing. It was bad timing and that's why he said that we could still have secrets for a while. But that means we're talking about it right?

-Yes.

-And what else?

-Bonnie…- she sighed and ate a spoonful of the green beans in her plate before saying anything, the dramatic pauses were her thing- he doesn't want to just have sex with you

-What?

-Why else would he be discouraged? Obviously he wants to have sex with you, because of how the dancing thing went down between you two but if he heard you just want that, why would he be upset? Because he wants more. That's obviously the answer.

-And what if he doesn't want to have sex at all? What if he was just flirting because that's who he is and he hates that the sex thing is in my mind?

-As much as that can be a possibility, it's a very small one. Like I said, we all see it. Hell, even Mary Louise sees it. Nora sees it.

-How do you know?

-She told me

-Which one?

-Nora

-Then how do you know about Mary Louise?

-Because Nora told me too, dah. – Bonnie looked at her still without understanding and Caroline rolled her eyes before giving her more information-They're together

-Seriously?!

-Yes, why are you so shocked? Nora was the one to convince me to hire her and they seem very fond of each other. I really wasn't surprised when she told me, I don't know why you are.

-Because they're so different. Nora is so… shy. And Mary Louise is scary.

-Opposites attracts, what can I say? It's the same with you and Damon.

-No, it's not. We're not together and we won't. Because even if what you're saying it's true, he still went running back to New York the second Elena called him. He obviously still loves her and I'm just an idiot for harboring feelings for him.

-Now you're just being dramatic. She works for him, they had issues in the company that he, as the head of the company, had to solve.

-But why does she work with him? They are exes. Exes don't work well together.

-They do. And according to Stefan it has to do with the fact that she's a pushover and Damon likes that in a worker, because he believes he's always right. Also, he pays well and she needs the money to go study medicine somewhere, because her parents kicked her out of the house when she and Damon were a thing and she doesn't want to go back there now, so she needs the money.

-I do remember her making excuses for him the few times I saw her, but that's awful. You need workers that challenge you and make you grow, not just say yes all the time.

-You're thinking of a partner, not a worker. I agree with you in the partner thing, he does need that. And that's why you're ideal.

-Oh shut up.

* * *

The days went by and all she did was assemble her new furniture, watch the videos of the choreography on her house and try to replicate them by herself and then eat alone a lot. Caroline and the girls came over once and they watched a romcom while eating homemade popcorn. But that was about it.

Damon had texted her a few times, about the weather and how he wanted to come dance soon. He was teasing her, she knew and she hated it. She still wasn't convinced Caroline was right about him wanting more and she still hated that he went to New York because "Elena needed him".

Now it was the morning of his coming back and she couldn't stop thinking about him. How would he be behaving when they interacted again? Would he be talking about the kiss? About their "secrets"? About his time in New York with Elena?

_**I'm back witchy. What did I miss?**_

How could he just know she was thinking about him? Or was it just a coincidence? Either way she hated that he just tried to waltz in back as if nothing had happened.

_Five days of rehearsals._

_**Uh. You're still mad about that? I think I have the perfect solution**_

She was about to text him back when she heard a knock on her front door. Oh shit. She hadn't had breakfast yet or brushed her teeth. Fuck.

_Go away. I'm still in my pajamas_

She went to her bathroom and started brushing her teeth while texting that and soon enough she had a response.

_**I was counting on that. I brought us breakfast**_

Another knock

_Well you should've asked me first. I'm not opening the door on my pajamas._

_**C'mon! I've seen you on pajamas before. And I actually have my pajamas under my hoodie, we're in equal conditions.**_

She considered it a bit. She was wearing a very big and loose shirt, but she wasn't wearing a bra underneath and she really didn't feel like flashing him, so she put on a big sweatshirt on top of it and a small pajama short beneath.

She finally opened the door and they were definitely not in equal conditions. Yes, his hair was a mess and he was wearing an old shirt underneath his hoodie but he looked sexy like that. She looked like trash in comparison and she didn't look that bad, but this man. God. He was so attractive it was annoying.

-Hi Bon Bon

-Hi- she responded with a dry tone and turned around o let him in.

-Wow, I thought I was getting a warmer welcome. After all I brought your favorite pancakes.

-How do you know what my favorite pancakes are?

-Because you told me. Like ten years ago, but I'm still counting on that information.

-You seem to forget that people's tastes changes.

-I haven't. I just hope for that.

She wasn't facing him, but she turned after he said that, too curious to continue with her little "bitchy" act. He seemed hopeful. And very tired, also. He had big dark circles under his eyes and his face was a lot paler than before he left and it had been just five days.

-Why do you look like you haven't slept in days?

-Because I haven't.

-I'm still mad that you just sent me a text, but I want to see which pancakes you brought so put them in the table while I put on the kettle for tea.

He smiled at her command but obliged immediately. She went to the kitchen to put the kettle on and take the plates and mugs and suddenly she felt his presence very close by.

-I didn't want to wake you up, so I thought that a call wasn't the best plan. Plus, by the time I was sure you'd be up I'd be in a plane, so I had to communicate with you before that.

-You could've call me later then- she said without turning to him, he was by her side.

-You didn't seem very keen to take a call from me.

-You're right. Now take these and put them in the table- she responded handing him the mugs and plates and he took them without saying a word.

She was still very upset with him so she wasn't just forgiving him because he came in with pancakes, nor because what he said actually made sense.

-Anything else you want me to take to the table?

-Just take some cutlery and I'll be there when the kettle's ready.

-I can come back to keep talking, if that's ok with you.

She finally looked at him again and she knew she was budging. He looked tired and he was still up very early to have breakfast with her. Fucking bastard.

-Fine.

He smiled with _that_ smile and went to the table with the cutlery and he seemed oblivious to what that smile caused on her, because he just kept on his merry way. And she had already forgiven him, but she wasn't letting him know that.

-So… why are you so mad?- he asked getting into the kitchen again. He stayed at a safe distance, facing her, while she was facing the kettle, with her right side to him.

-Because I thought we were back at being friends and I have hardly heard from you in days.

-I told you, the company had a problem and I had to go fix it. I was very busy, Bon Bon.

-You didn't told me that. You told me Elena had a problem- she regretted saying that the moment it left her mouth but there was nothing she could do about it now.

-Oh, so there's another reason why you're mad?- he asked moving closer to her, to the point where their arms were touching.

-No. I just… I'd like for you to be honest with me

-I've been a hundred percent honest with you. Ever since we started talking again a few months back, anyway.

-But you told me that you and Elena were broken up…

-And we are- he interrupted

-But you're still working together and when she has an issue you go running back to her.

-Bonnie, can you please look at me?- he begged, so she turned her face to him reluctantly- I ran back to my company, not to her. I have no feelings for her anymore, other than respect as a worker and I really don't want to let anybody's mistake sink my company.

He said everything with a soft voice, as if talking to a kid, but being less condescending. He seemed to want to make sure she understood and there was no doubt about that.

-What was the mistake?- she asked with a very hushed tone feeling like she had blown things out of proportion, again.

-An intern ordered 2,000 pieces of an old car instead of 20. And you know how many other cars can use that same piece? In America it's close to 500. They called me when they received the shipping and I had to go there to talk to the manufacturer and ask for a reimbursement, but they didn't want to because that's a lot of pieces. And we all knew that no one needed that many.

-Could you fix it?

-I had to pay for 200 of them. And to promise to fix the car of the manufacturer for free.

-Shit. So you lost a lot of money?

-Yeah.

-Did you fire the intern?

-No. I fired the person who told the intern to do their job for them.

-You're a good leader, Damon- she said thinking about what other people in his situation would've done.

-Thank you.

They looked at each other in silence for a bit, with many thoughts hanging in between them. She was thinking about apologizing when the kettle made a noise, letting them know the water was ready.

-Let's go eat those pancakes.

-I hope you still like them. And I hope they survived the trip.

-What do you mean?

-You said your favorite pancakes were the ones from "Little Heaven", so I went there and bought them.

-Damon that store is one hour away.

-Yes, but it's kind of close to the airport so it didn't take me that long.

-So you got out of the plane and you went straight to that specific restaurant?- she asked with a breathy tone, feeling the butterflies in her stomach. He looked away with his face on fire and mumbled something that she couldn't understand- what?

-I said I felt like I had to. You seemed pretty mad over texts- she couldn't help but to smile and wrap her arms around him, she buried her face in his chest to not do something stupid like kissing him.

-You're so stupid

-What? Why?

-I didn't need these specific pancakes to forgive you. I forgave you long before you told me you did that.

-Really? 'Cuz I couldn't tell. Plus, it made me deserving of a hug. All's good.

She smiled feeling his scent all around her and he kissed her head and put his chin in the top of it.

-I'm sorry for being such a bitch

-When? Now or the day I went to pick you up at Lexi's?

Her breath was caught in her chest when he said that. Good thing he couldn't see her face, because he'd see all of her thoughts in it. He wanted to talk about it now? She wasn't ready, although she thought she'd never be ready to talk about her kissing him.

-What do you mean? I don't remember anything about that- she lied unconvincingly.

-Really?- he asked pulling away to see her face and she took that chance to turn around and take the kettle.

-Yes, let's go have breakfast because I'm starving.

-Ok- he answered seemingly sad.

They walked to the table and the ambience seemed a lot more awkward than it was before and Bonnie knew it was her fault, so upon sitting she tried to make small talk.

-I went to IKEA and remodeled the living room, did you notice?

-Not really, I'm half sleep right now- he wasn't being very nice but she understood where he came from. It was all her fault again.

-Damon, you really didn't need to go to that restaurant for me.

-I did. Now eat them, they were in a thermic bag but they could be too cold by now.

-Ok, sorry

They ate in an awkward silence, which was stopped when Bonnie couldn't help but to make a very embarrassing sound when she tried the pancakes.

-Do you always moan when there's sweets around?

-Shut up! It's not my fault. I hadn't eaten these in years.

-I have and I live farther than you do.

-But you have a car, I don't. Plus I haven't really had much time off. Now I do, but while on residency? My life was just working and studying, nonstop.

-That must've suck.

-It did. But I'm grateful for it. I loved working on ER.

-Even with the deaths involved?

-Yeah. There's nothing I could've done to save them. And all the lives we saved outweigh the ones we couldn't.

-That's a mature way of thinking.

-You have to have it to work there, any other way your mental health's screwed.

-Yeah.

They continued eating, this time with a more easy silence, but she could see Damon's eyes were closing too much to be actively eating.

-You should go to sleep now.

-No, I promised Blondie that we'd rehearse the entire day.

-But you need to sleep, you're not going to be very good at dancing while falling slept.

-I can prove you wrong.

She smiled while rolling her eyes and he got the smile on his face again. That damn smile.

-Why don't you go sleep on my bed? I'd suggest the guest room, but it's a mess. Well, mine too, but it doesn't have boxes on top of the bed.

-I think I'm going to accept, but just because after the very small nap I'll take, we'll dance the whole day in your new living room.

-Deal.

He went to her room immediately and she tried to remember if she had anything embarrassing lying around. She kept eating, because he was so gone that he wouldn't even notice her mess of a room. Those pancakes were amazing and she couldn't help but to think about what Caroline said, him wanting more than just sex.

Maybe she was right. Just admitting that sent a million butterflies to her stomach and a goofy smile to her face, I mean, who would go to a restaurant so far away relying on the possibility that she still liked those pancakes she mentioned on a trip ten years ago?

That was a lot to take in. she finished her pancakes and also his' and then walked to her room to see if there was anything she needed to pick up before he woke up.

He was peacefully lying on top of her bed, he was so tired he didn't even put anything to cover himself up, so she took a blanket and put it on top of his body. He seemed so relaxed, so young and so innocent. She could also smell his scent in her whole room and she knew she was sleeping great that night.

Her younger self would feel so excited that he was sleeping in her bed, he would've totally convinced her to sleep by his side with a bet or just saying something about it being nothing and her just exaggerating it all once again. That's how they ended up sleeping next to each other in many parties back in the day, but always in someone else's house, never their own beds.

She kind of wished he had convinced her to sleep with him this time around as well and with that she realized it was time she stopped acting like they were just friends. She had feelings for him and maybe he did as well, according to Caroline. Plus, she really had felt jealousy over Elena and he had made it crystal clear that he had no feelings for her anymore.

Shit, that only made her more hopeful and completely nervous for when he woke up.

That was going to be an interesting rehearsal.

* * *

Hi guys! I know it took me forever to upload, but I hope you guys liked this one, specially the end of it. I know it had taken a lot for Bonnie to finally realize what literally everyone else already has, but that's just they way she is. I'm sorry again for taking so long, but at least this chapter if longer than others, hopefully that'll make up for it? And plus, next weeks chapter it's going to be a lot, so buckle up.

Also, thanks to everyone who told me that I had messed up with the chapters, that's fixed now and I wouldn't have noticed, ever, if you guys hadn't been so kind to tell me :)

So, hopefully you'll write what your favorite part was, what do you think about these two idiots, what can I do better and if there's any mistake, I'm right here, waiting for your reviews, so thank you! You guys make me want to keep on going, even thought life's like really messy right now. But I do like to scape to this world where these two can have their dynamic explored a lot more than it did in the show and also we get to see a more human side of Damon, the vulnerable side that he usually showed only to Bonnie and sometimes Stefan. And also, he's human here so sleep and other factors are much more important in this story than in the show, so I wanted to explore that about him.

Ok, now it's time I keep doing what I'm supossed to and leave this here for you to enjoy.

Happy reading!


	10. Chapter 10

X. Secrets

She took some of her dirty clothes from the chair in her bedroom to put into the designated basket of dirty clothes, she also took some papers that were around and put them in order, it was weird doing normal chores with Damon laying there, like having a supermodel sleeping in your bed. Who's also your friend. Who also happens to be the guy you have feelings for.

She was still thinking about the complexity on her situation when a phone started to go off. She felt paralyzed, he was about to open his eyes and see her standing in her room and looking at him sleep like a creep. He growled and move around, the phone was his. She moved her face to make it seem like she wasn't staring at him and that caught his eye, apparently.

-Bonnie? What are you doing here?- he asked with a hoarse voice.

-I was just… cleaning my bedroom- she admitted.

-Why?- he whispered closing his eyes, after putting off the alarm.

-Because it's filthy. Why did you put an alarm so soon?

-Because I promised Blondie we'd rehearse all day.

-But you slept like thirteen minutes, that's not enough.

-It was a power nap, I'm all powerful now- he mumbled trying to open his eyes.

She looked at him, with his face all scrunched up because of the light and still pale as hell. His eyes were barely opened and he couldn't even stand up yet.

-You still look like shit. I think you should sleep two hours minimum.

-Thanks for the compliment, it's so great to wake up to a "you look like shit" comment- he stretched up a bit, putting his arms on top of his head, making every muscle stand out- I need to stand up, nevertheless.

-Damon, just stay in bed. I'll do my house chores and then we'll dance until we have mastered the whole damn thing. Even if we finish at four a.m.

-Are you sure?- he looked at her with only one eye barely opened.

-Yes, it's fine by me

-Then you'll need some sleep too.

She looked at him like he was crazy, but he was serious. She wanted to brush it off as a joke and leave the room, but she also wanted to know if he actually felt something for her, as Caroline and the girls had suggested. And he had brought her those delicious pancakes, even when he didn't have to. And he was in her bed too.

-I can sleep somewhere else- she said not really convinced, but she didn't want to sound too eager to literally jump in bed with him.

-No, it's your bed. If anyone's sleeping in it, it should be you.

-But you're the one who looks like shit, though

-Ok, knock it off with that and come sleep with me. I swear I don't bite.

She hesitated for a bit, still with the papers in her hands, but decided to be brave and actually have some agency in what happened in her life. She needed to make some decisions herself, dammit, and she decided she wanted to sleep next to Damon in her bed. Wow. That was a weird sentence to think about.

Either way, she left the papers on the desk and walked up to the bed. She took her shoes off and lied next to him, but still some inches away from touching him. He put the blanket she had lied on him on top of both of them. His warmth felt like he was touching her and that felt more intimate than any hug or kiss they had shared up until this point.

-You're cold- he said touching her arm with the tips of his fingers, making her shiver.

-No, I'm not. You're just too hot- as soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them.

-I get that a lot- he said with a sleazy smile, moving closer to her- let me share some on my hotness with you- he said wrapping his arms around her. She had to lift her upper body for his arm to snake around her neck and she felt the heat instantly when the other one started to rest on the top of her stomach.

She closed her eyes, trying to control her breath and heartbeat. He was too close to let her body give her feelings away. While she did that, she couldn't help but to listen to his breathing, it was the opposite of hers, completely calmed and after a few minutes it was so deep she was sure he was already slept.

She opened her eyes and he was facing her, a few inches away from her face. He looked completely relaxed, younger and so beautiful. She felt the urge to run her fingers across his face, but that felt too intimate and she was afraid that if she moved, he'd wake up. So she let herself feel his warmth and started to relax her muscles, one by one, while listening to his breathing, until she finally feel asleep.

.

-Het witchy

She heard a whisper, a very subtle one, seemed to come from very close, thought. Was she dreaming?

She heard a little laugh now and she could feel a hand drawing circled on her shoulder. He opened her eyes instantly and came across the face of none other than Damon Salvatore.

-What?- she asked trying to put some distance between them, he was very very close.

-It's time for rehearsing- he said with a wry smile, making her stomach flutter with butterflies.

She couldn't help but to let her eyes linger in his face for a little too long. His face was no longer pale, which made his dark circles not as prominent anymore, but that was also because they weren't as big as when he arrived that morning.

-You're right- she conceded trying to make herself take her eyes off of him.

She pulled back and pulled the cover off of her body, trying to control her heartbeats. She sat on the bed, with him on her back trying to regain control of herself. He was looking much more attractive than he was when he arrived and she was weak. Why did she say yes to sleeping next to him?

-You look beautiful when you're sleeping, by the way- he whispered to her back.

Oh yes, she wanted to know if he had feelings for her or he was just teasing.

-You too- she mumbled a little too unsure.

-What?

She braced herself to be brave and closed her eyes to make herself feel like it wasn't real.

-You look calm, younger… beautiful, even.

He was silent and she wished she had turned around before to see what his face was showing. It was too late to turn around now, right?

-Thank you. I was thinking the exact same thing about you. When you're not worried about what others may think or how to act, you look so much younger.

That made her open her eyes and turn around for sure.

-What do you mean? That I look uptight all the time?- she was starting to get mad, here she was opening herself up to him and he answered with being a jerk.

-No, not all the time. But you're holding back most of the time. I can only see the Bonnie I used to know and love when you're mad or sad or drunk. I still don't know if you've changed or you're just putting on a mask most of the time.

-I've grown.- she stated slowly but assertive- I can't have my heart on my sleeve the whole time. I have to learn to be level headed as well, because of the ER. I can't just let my emotions go wild.

She was starting to see that he wasn't just being a jerk and that made her a little more calmed. He was right, she wasn't as reactive as she used to be, not like she was very emotional before, but she used to show him and only him when she was most vulnerable and of course that had stopped when they stopped being friends.

-But that's on the job, you don't need to do that on the daily basis.

-Damon, it's not a switch you can turn on and off, I've learned to not let my emotions control me. Plus, it's not like I've ever been like Caroline or Lexi and just let everyone what I'm feeling at every given time.

-But I used to know what you were thinking. I used to think that I knew you and that I could guess what your reactions would be to stuff. Now, you surprise me. And I don't know if that's good or bad.

-It's neither. It's just what happens when you spend so much time apart.

He nodded, he seemed a bit down and she couldn't guess what he was thinking, which was probably what made him upset. He was always a mystery to her, though. And she hadn't realized she used to be so predictable to him, so that was a surprise. She didn't know how to feel about it.

-That's true- he finally spoke, still lying on the bed, looking to the ceiling. He looked so unreal.

-Ok, what do you feel about asking each other questions? We can rehearse the dance and also ask the things we always wanted to know while not talking all these years?

He looked at her with an intensity she hadn't seen in a while, he smiled kind of sweet but also cunningly.

-I think that's a great idea.

-Okay, I'll go brush my teeth, wait for me in the living room.

-Okay

She walked to her bathroom, trying to clear her mind and pull away from his scent. She wasn't sure why but she was feeling too excited about this conversation and she also was feeling too excited to lay on her bed after he left and feel herself surrounded by his scent again.

Was that creepy? She couldn't really tell, she and Damon had always had blurry boundaries.

.

They had been dancing for two hours. They decided to pay attention to the dance choreography and then start to ask things, but it had been really difficult to learn the dance moves and they had only made up for a days' worth of rehearsals in an hour.

-Ok, I know we should keep this up, but I'm really dying to eat something- said Damon right before his stomach growled.

-Yeah, me too. What do you feel about ordering pizza? 'cuz I really don't feel like cooking.

-I'd offer myself to cook, but that would take time from this, so pizza it is.

She called and ordered two pizzas, a box of breadsticks and a soda, before that was all they were eating and they had been spending a lot of energy into the dance.

-So we keep rehearsing until it arrives then?- she asked after hanging up the phone.

-Let's do the whole thing we've already learnt until it gets here. I don't feel like learning anything else- he answered after taking a sip from a water bottle.

She nodded and they did everything they had learnt but not really into it, they were both tired and bored, but they knew they had to. Even the part were her butt touched him didn't feel as nerve wrecking as it used to.

After twenty minutes the pizza arrived and Damon payed, he said it was his fault they were even doing this, so she let him.

-Let's just eat here, I don't feel like walking anywhere else- she said letting her whole body collapse on her sofa.

-Okay, let me go grab some napkins.

He walked to her kitchen and she couldn't help but to feel giddy about his familiarity with her house. It had been this way before, but there were many years when she thought that could never happen again.

He came back and they started eating immediately, both starving.

-Oh, this is so good.

-You really take foodgasms to heart, don't you?

-Shut up! I really like food.

-I can tell. Really. If you were a man, you'd have a boner right now.

-Maybe. This is good pizza.

He smiled and shook his head. He looked at her again after a few seconds and she could see the wheels moving in his head.

-So, what did you want to know?

She thought about it for a bit. There was so much: the company, Elena, his first year in New York alone. But she felt like all those topics needed to be discussed a little later in the conversation, so she decided to have a more neutral approach.

-Who told you I was getting into Med-school?

-Your Grams. She actually called me to tell me she was proud and that she wished we were talking so I'd congratulate you. I was about to do it, but I was just so mad at you for not going to New York… So, I guess I should congratulate you now, ha?

-Yes, congratulations are in order.

-Okay, maybe I'll take you somewhere fancy to celebrate later.

-That'd be nice- she said feeling her face on fire, but wanting to let him know she was down.

-It's my turn now right?- he asked with a wry smile and she nodded- Well… What was Enzo like in bed?

-DAMON!- she screamed with her face so hot, she knew she looked ridiculous. He was laughing very loudly, so she threw him a breadstick, making him laugh louder.

-I'm really concerned, Bonnie! You didn't seem so satisfied.

-Oh, shut up you jerk. He was actually good.- she mumbled before eating more pizza. Damon eyed her suspicious.

-Are you being honest or it's just to save face?

-Why do you even care? It's over- she answered looking at her pizza.

-Are you sad it's over?

She looked at him again, he seemed actually curious and a little bit concerned, which compelled her to answer.

-Not really. The relationship had fallen apart a long time ago. When he left to Chicago I was crying every single night for months, but then I got used to being alone. How about you? What was it like to break up with Elena?

-It was… freeing. Me and Elena… it was like fire. It started abruptly and I thought that nothing could ever compare, not even other woman I had feelings for before her. I was mad at them. I thought Elena came in to save me from all that came with being alone and away from home. She'd say she was trying to make me change, but she also told me everything I did was accounted for. Every bad decision, every bad move, every time I treated someone badly she thought I was doing the wrong thing for the right reasons and that messed me up a bit.

-That seems unhealthy.

-Yeah. I thought I was the king of the world and she was my queen- he said sarcastically, a little bitter, maybe there was a story there- The fire took some time to die, but it did. And it showed me the horrible ways I was living my life, I was drinking, spending money senseless, flirting with girls just to make Elena jealous. We kept fighting and she kept repeating that I should be more like Stefan. Which obviously killed the fire for good.

-Yikes

-Exactly. It was a pretty rough year. Plus, working together doesn't really help on building a relationship. But we made it through and now we're amicable.

-That must've been hard. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.

-Oh, no. It's better that way. You would've hated me. You would've called me out on my awful behavior and that would've made us fall apart in a worst way than it did seven years ago.

-Do you think?

-I'm sure. We spoke like two or three times in the span of my relationship with Elena and every interaction was in my mind when I fought with her. I hated you, I hated her, myself and everything. It went pretty dark. I think I needed to live through that, though.

-But you didn't have to go through that alone.

-I did. I'm actually glad none of you guys witnessed it. Stefan went to New York when the downward spiral was in full force. The look on his face when he saw me? Of utter disappointment? That shit still keeps me up at night.

Bonnie moved closer to him and started to rub his back, he smiled sadly and she knew he was done speaking about it. She felt like she needed to say one last thing and then change the subject. He needed some distraction.

-I'm proud of you, Damon. You've gone through so much on your own. You deserve to be happy and I'm glad that you're not on a toxic relationship anymore.

-Thanks- he murmured.

-I looked for my mum- she whispered back. He needed distraction and he had been so vulnerable, she felt like she needed to be vulnerable back, plus she needed to tell this to someone.

-What? When?

-A couple of years ago, I found her on Facebook. She went back to her maiden name. She's living in Wyoming.

-Why?

-I don't know. I didn't contact her. I just lurked on her page. She was engaged- he put his hand on her arm and started to draw circles on it- I think the guy was a widower and he had a little girl. I guess she's her mum now.

-Bonnie… maybe you should talk to her. Get closure.

-I don't want closure, Damon. I used to want to know why she did it but it's clear to me that she couldn't deal with a broken family. She's one of those woman who need a husband and a perfect little life and I couldn't provide that for her so she went elsewhere to find it. It's all right.

It wasn't. She knew it and she was pretty sure he did too, but she wasn't ready. She didn't know if she ever would be.

-It's okay, Bonnie. You don't have to forgive her, you know? You just need to let her go. To stop feeling like she left because you weren't enough. Because you were and you are. You are amazing Bonnie Bennet and you deserved a loving mother, but things don't always work out the way they should.

She felt like the tears were coming, but she didn't want to cry. She had cried about this a thousand times and she was just done with it.

-You're right, but I don't feel like crying right now, so, how about we finish the pizza and we dance some more?

-Fine.

.

-Finally! Oh my God I'm so tired- claimed Bonnie before dropping herself on the sofa once again.

-Move over, I'm dying as well.

Five hours and another break to finish the pizza and sticks had gone by and they had finally caught up with the rest.

-Okay- she said after growling and sitting straight instead of sprawling her limbs in the whole sofa.

-I'm never participating in a Caroline event, again.

-It wouldn't have been as awful if you hadn't left us.

-You know I had to.

-Yes and I get it, but it's not as bad to be part of a Caroline event when you're into it.

-Yeah, I guess. You and Caroline are still going strong, ha?

-I love her. She's my best friend. Of course, sometimes I'm an idiot and I close myself even to her, but I'm learning to let that go.

-That's cool- they stayed silent for a while, just letting their bodies rest, before Damon spoke again- I think it's safe to say we're not going anywhere fancy now.

-No, I'm jumping in the shower and then sleeping like a baby.

-Yeah, I think I'll go home too.

He looked at her, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but was hesitating.

-It's everything okay?- she asked curious.

-Yeah. I was just thinking about how awful you look all sweaty like that- he joked looking at his nails.

-You jerk!- she screamed throwing him a pillow.

-Calmed down there, soldier. You've been very aggressive towards me lately.

-You deserve it.

-Why? You told me I looked like shit today, it was time I said it back.

-That feels like it happened days ago.

-Yeah. Being trapped in the dance dimension does that to you.

She smiled, he was stalling. He didn't want to leave.

-Do you want to order some Chinese food before you leave? I think we deserve more food.

-Nah, remember we have to keep dancing tomorrow. I'd suggest you go to sleep as soon as possible.

-Ok, then leave my house so I can go shower.

-Geez. You're so bossy. I love it- he sported that smile that she loved and treasured every time it showed up and made her smile sweetly too. They were looking at each other in silence, side by side in the sofa and she could feel the energy change in the room.

He moved closer to her and his hand flew up to her temple, moving a few baby hairs. Her heart skipped a bit and she swallowed hard. He licked his lips while looking at hers, making her almost lean over, but his phone starting ringing, startling both of them.

Damon cursed under his breath and turned around to pick it up. He cleared his throat before picking up.

-Yes?...Oh… don't freak out….- his mood changed- all right. I'll go right now.

-Everything okay?- she asked when he hung up.

-Yeah, Stefan needs me for something, nothing's wrong, though. I just should get going.

He wasn't looking at her, so that made her a bit wary. He and Stefan had something going on and she knew he wasn't telling her, but it was enough to make him leave when previously he was stalling.

-Okay. Good luck.

-I'm gonna need it, thanks- he said before leaning in to kiss her forehead- goodnight.

He was acting weird, but she couldn't help to enjoy that little gesture. She called for Chinese food and then jumped on the shower, she had at least thirty minutes before it got there and she wasn't wasting any of it.

After a nice steamy bath she put on her pajamas right in time for the delivery to arrive, she put a robe on and went to take it and pay. She went to eat in the living room, while watching property brothers.

When she finally went to bed, she relished in her good luck and breathed in his scent as deep as she could. God, she really was creepy. But she didn't care, she fell asleep faster than she wished, but with a happy smile on her face.

.

The next day was the next to last rehearsal, so they were very focused the entire time and everyone clapped Damon and Bonnie for knowing the entire routine even though they hadn't been in the studio for five days.

-We just need to synchronize you guys with the others, but it's good that you know your steps- commented Mary Louise after the first general rehearsal.

Time went by and even though she was soared from the day before she was feeling energetic, mostly because Damon was smiling and making cheeky comments to her, about how good she looked and how much better she was than the other girls.

When they finished, everyone gathered in the center, sitting on the floor.

-Oh my God, thank you! There's only one more- said Lexi sprawling on the wooden floors.

-Yeah… we're not dancing on the rehersal dinner right?

-No, Rebecca. We'll just dance on the wedding. I want it to be a surprise- responded Caroline.

-Great. So tomorrow's rehearsal dinner, next day dancing rehearsal and then wedding and finally everthing's over.

-Don't be so dramatic, Lexi. It hasn't been that bad.

-It's been horrible, Caroline. I just hope that the food's worth it- said Matt leaning on Rebecca's shoulder.

-I mean, we deserve more than that.

-And what are you thinking about, Klaus?- asked Damon, with a knowing smile.

-Well, we could be paid with free buzz.

-There's going to be an open bar at the wedding.

-Steffy bear. You're not paying attention.

-What do you mean Damon?

-We want something just for ourselves. You aren't paying us for spending all this time rehearsing this. We didn't ask for it either.

-Klaus is right. As much as I like to be the center of attention, I do feel like we need more compensation.

-Thank you, sister!

Caroline and Stefan looked at each other, they were worried but they seemed guilty as well, Bonnie could totally read her best friends' faces and she could see that they were expecting something like this.

-Do you think Ric and Jo would mind?- whispered the blond, which as totally ineffective because everyone could hear it.

-Not unless they're invited too.

-That's what I'm talking about!- said Damon hugging his brother from the side- I knew you'd come through.

-Shut up.- he turned around looking for something, or someone- Mary Louise, would you and Nora like to join us?

She seemed surprised about it and didn't say anything for some time.

-Come on, it'll be fun. We'll be on the boarding house, drink some alcohol and maybe even dance.

-That's a nice invitation Caroline, but I'm not sure if we should.

-Don't worry, it'll finish early because tomorrow it's the rehearsal dinner and we can't be hungovered. At least not us two-she pointed at Stefan and herself - and Nora. The rest of you can drink as much as you please.

-Well… it's not going to be that much alcohol, there's a lot of us and not that much money left.

-Don't worry little brother, that's what best men's are for. I'll help.

-All right!- Lexi cheered and they all stood up from the floor.

-So? In how long are we supposed to be there?-asked Rebecca, probably already thinking about the outfit she was going to wear.

-Four hours would be realistic for us because we have to go to pick another bouquet. They had problems with the flowers I picked. Will you come help, guys?- asked Caroline to her best friend and best man.

-Of course- she responded with a smile- anything for the bride.

-I'm at your service Goldilocks.

-Great! Then let's go right now.

They hurried outside and Stefan and Caroline went in one car and Damon and Bonnie in another.

-Do you think this is going to be fun or end up in chaos?

-Why would chaos be such a bad thing?- asked Damon with his signature wry smile.

-Because… a bunch of people, some buzz… some secrets.

-What secrets?- that seemed to peak his interest.

-You and Stefan seem to have a secret.

-Oh come on! Why do you have to be all witchy all the time? Just let it go.

-No, I want to know your secret.

-I have many secrets you'll have to be more specific.

-Well, the secret you don't want me to know.

-Again, you'll have to be more specific.

-There's more than one?

He moved a bit in the car seat, he seemed uncomfortable, so she knew he was telling the truth about those secrets.

-We're arriving to our destination, so maybe you should stop it.

So he didn't want the others to hear about it either.

-Are all of your secrets tied to Stefan?

-No, just one. An I don't have that many secrets I don't want you to know.

-How many?

-Why are you doing this to me?

-We're still not even near the flower shop. Can't you even tell me a number?

-Okay.- he sighed with resignation- I just… don't know. Two? Three? I don't know. One it's none of my business, so I can't talk about it. Two and three are kind of tied together and if I have more they're probably related, too.

She was losing it. She had never been so curious in her entire life. And she was also confused because he said he didn't want to tell her, but he was also talking about it so maybe he did?

-Do you really don't want to tell me? 'Cuz it feels like you do. Plus, we're friends now, right?

He stayed quiet for a few minutes, making her want to jump and say something to convince him, but he seemed so focused and actually deliberating that she just stayed quiet. They were finally arriving to the flower shop and she was starting to feel desperate.

-Let's just not talk about it in front of them, okay?

-About what?

-About what I'm about to tell you.

He parked and her heart started racing, for some reason she felt like this was a big deal. But the guys were already there and Damon got out of the car as soon as he could without saying a word.

She got out of the car and met the guys. Caroline was all happy talking about them finishing this quickly to then go to buy the stuff for the gathering.

-I think we may have to buy some things to eat as well, we can't have them drunk tomorrow.

-That's true, honey. But I can't really go with you to buy all the stuff because I have to go to the house and see if everything's in order and maybe I'll use some of the decorations that we have left from the engagement party.

-Care, it's just a gathering you don't need to go all out.

-Bonnie, you know me. I have to.

-Ok Blondie, then how about we finish up here and I go with Stefan to buy the stuff and you take Bonnie home and you both have the time to put the decorations and be glamorous together.

\- Oh, that'd be perfect! Will you do it Bonnie?

-Yeah, but we'd have to go home first so I can pick up my clothes and make-up.

-Great, then it's a plan.

They wandered around the flower shop, looking for the most "jazzy" flower, as Caroline said and finally the bride and groom wandered together so Bonnie could go closer to Damon.

-You're such a coward.

-I'm not. I just know you, and you're really going to freak out about this.

-What? Can you at least tell me what's it about?- she whispered since Caroline was wondering a bit closer than before.

He looked at the flowers in front of him and sighted.

-Fine. It's about… what we were talking about the other day… prom.

-Oh yeah… you never told me who was your crush.

-I didn't have a crush. I just wanted to invite someone to prom and it didn't turn out good.

-Ok, but you still haven't told me why you didn't tell me then about your crush. We were best friends.

-Yeah, but I didn't want to. And I don't want to do it now either, all this telling it's too much. There's nothing to tell. I didn't have a crush in anyone.

He turned around and took a flower from the buckets in from of him.

-Then why did you change your mind when she got asked to prom?

-Because it would've been... Different.

-Why?

-Oh, you just... God. You really don't know by now?

-Guys! This is the perfect flower for the bouquet! You guys are amazing- interrupted Caroline from behind them, looking at the flower that Damon had in his hand

-I knew you'd like it, Blondie

-Ok, then let's get a smaller one to go with it.

-Argh. This is too much, can we just go buy the drinks or something?

-We need to end this, Damon- argued Bonnie.

-Yeah, we need to end a lot of things.

-What's going on?- asked Caroline sensing the tension between them.

-Nothing. He's just overreacting.

-Yes, that's true. I'll just stay away for a bit- he said walking away, leaving her puzzled.

-What's going on with him?

-I have no idea.

-Well, he may just need some air- contributed Stefan.

Damon had stepped out of the flower shop and she debated going behind him or not, should she be a better friend to him or to Caroline? Well, she had to start putting herself first and she really wanted to know what was going on with Damon.

So she walked away while her best friend sniffed a small flower next to her fiancé.

Damon was outside, looking at the sky, he seemed serene but his eyes were somewhat troubled.

-Are you okay? Did I say something wrong?

He looked at her and shook his head while letting a deep breath out.

-I just thought... All these years I thought you knew.

-What do you mean?

-I ... I was planning on inviting you, Bonnie.

A bucket of cold water seemed to have been dropped into her. Well, that would make sense because she was obviously dreaming. She pinched herself and Damon seemed entertained by that. She didn't wake up, though.

-Are you for real?

-Bonnie, I rehearsed with you the dance. I asked what your favorite color was and I made those faces because I was clearly embarrassed. Did you really never thought about it?

-I thought ... I thought you were getting me a birthday gift in advance or something. And I thought that you were just using me to practice I never thought... Why didn't you tell me?

-Because you already had a date

\- I would've gone with you Damon.

He seemed put off by that, he was looking at her face like searching for something, the truth maybe? She was telling him the truth.

But before he could say anything Stefan came out of the shop.

-Oh thank God she's done, I hate this little... Oh, am I interrupting something?

-No- they both replied instantly

\- Ok... Because I sense some tension

-That's the worst thing you can say when there's tension- Damon pointed out, going back to his relaxed self

-So there is tension?

-Brother, you're making it weird.

The siblings smiled at each other while Caroline came out of the shop.

-You guys could've told me the party was outside

-No, the party's tonight at our house.

Damon seemed so relaxed with everyone but she could tell he was a little bit on edge. As she was. This was such a huge thing, they could've gone to the prom together. He wanted to invite her…

Oh God. Did that mean that he had a crush on her? Nah. That would be impossible. Right?

She looked at him, joking with his brother, avoiding her gaze. Could she had been so blind to not know that he liked her at the same time that she liked him?

-Ok, let's go Bonnie, we've got a lot to do.

-No!- she almost screamed- Wait. I need to talk to Damon- she couldn't stop herself, she knew they all thought she was crazy, but she needed to know.

-Ok, I'll wait for you on the car

-Me too- said Stefan walking away with his soon to wife.

-No, it's fine. There's nothing to talk about- said Damon a little too loud, but the couple were already far from them.

-Damon. I need to know something.

-No. You don't. We need to go on our separate ways now.

-Damon! Come on! You just dropped a bomb on me and I have so many questions.

-Bonnie you forced me to drop the bomb. I didn't want to and I don't want to talk about this anymore. See? This is why I didn't want to tell you. You make a big deal out of everything.

-But it is! Damon…

-Ok. Fine. But not now. Let's just not talk about this after in the party. Or after it, I don't know. Let's just finish this right now.

He seemed a bit desperate and she was too, but she needed to respect his wishes. It was his secret and he had already let her know more than she thought he would.

-Okay. I'm sorry for being so pushy, I just never thought that you'd say something like that.

-You're blinder than I thought you were, Bonnie Bennet. There's a lot we need to discuss, but I'm not ready yet.

-I respect that.

He hugged her tight and she squeezed him as well. He kissed her in the head and then walked to his brother's car. Weird, that almost felt like a goodbye.

* * *

I'm so sorry this took me so long, but it made me realize that I'll probably change the schedule for Sunday's. It's been a crazy week, with school and my sister's birthday and her wanting to have a huge party so we had to do A LOT of stuff and I was occupied with it for the last few days and before that I had a lot of exams, so I'm sorry this is long overdue.

But! This is a long chapter, I wanted to give you something in return and I thought that could be a cool way. Hopefully you guys liked it, I hope you guys did. I'm waiting for your comments and thank you so much for the reviews the last chapter! They mean the world to me.

Thanks! And happy reading!


	11. Chapter 11

XI. The truth

She was so nervous she could hardly put the decorations up, her hands were slippery and a bit shaky. Caroline was looking at her from the corner, clearly amused, but Bonnie refused to give her the satisfaction to acknowledge her.

The guys should be home any minute now and she knew Damon wasn't going to jump right into the conversation, but she was also incredibly eager to harass him until he did. She knew she had to contain herself in front of others, but… how? He had told her he had a crush on her at the same she did, but she had so many questions about that.

-Bonnie, pull yourself together please.

-Care, stop it. I'm fine.

-Then why haven't you put up a single decoration in the last ten minutes?

-Because I don't know how to, these things are confusing.

-It's literally the easiest thing to do, honey. Why don't you go up stairs and get ready and I'll finish up here?

She really wanted to but she also knew she wasn't going to be very productive up stairs. Her mind was running and there was excitement in her veins for once. She had hope and that was really, really wild.

-Ok. I'm sorry for being a mess right now.

-It's all good. I understand, this is what we've all been waiting for since we were teenagers. Hell, I'm excited, I can't imagine how you're feeling right now.

-Come on, Care. I have already too much hope. He said he wanted to invite me to prom, nothing else. I think he may have had a crush on me, but I don't know.

-And if he did he may as well do now.

-Shut up. Don't make me be more nervous. I'm making too many assumptions already, you're just making it all worse.

-Ok, go make yourself sexy. I'll be there in ten.

Bonnie walked up the stairs to the guest room, where Caroline had left all of her stuff. She said she better stayed the night so she'd be ready for her the next morning, because they had a lot to do for the rehearse dinner. She liked the idea, there was no way Damon could escape from her if they were in the same house, right?

She started to put on make-up in the vanity that the room had, trying not to get caught up in her thoughts again, but it was really hard. She couldn't stop thinking about what he had said. She tried to remember how he had behaved around her during that time.

He was about to go to college, it was right before the last summer they could spend together in their town, they had better plans for the next few years. Even though they never came to be.

_-Hey Bon Bon- he said from her back. She was putting her stuff in her locker._

_She had a sundress on, because it was already hot and her school wasn't as strict as others when it came to women's clothing. _

_-Hey Damon- she responded without turning around, she was putting her stuff in order._

_-So… has anyone invited to prom yet?_

_-No. I don't know many people from your class, though. So I probably won't get any invite. Why?_

_-I… I don't know. You haven't told me if you have a crush on one of them._

_She turned around now, he was looking at the guys walking by, seemingly uninterested in the subject, but she could see he was also very stiff. Did he hear something? Did someone said something about her feelings for him?_

_-I don't- she was telling the truth, she didn't have a crush in any of the other guys- plus, it would be counterproductive. Most of them are going outside to college and the ones that are staying are not really my type._

_-And what's your type?- he looked at her without hiding his interest now and she got a little bit nervous. Defensive even._

_-I don't know. I know when I see it. It's not like I have a list of my favorite features in a man._

_Of course not, because the only thing in that list would be: Damon._

_-I see. Wanna go for ice-cream?_

_-You know I do- she answered with a smile and he offered his arm. He had been liking to act like a gentleman from the forties recently and she really liked it._

_-I need to ask you for a favor- he said after a few minutes._

_-Is that why you're taking me for ice-cream?_

_-Of course, did you think it's because I like your company? Psht._

_She smiled and rolled her eyes, Damon would never stop being Damon. And that's why she liked him so much. God, she should stop pinning for him, he was just his best friend._

_-Ok. Tell me._

_-Will you?_

_-You have to tell me first. I don't know what you want me to do._

_-Oh, it's not a big deal. I...- she looked at him, he sounded embarrassed, and he was. His cheeks were very red and he was scratching the back of his head with his other hand._

_-You know you can tell me anything- she said squeezing the arm he had interlock with hers, knowing this could mean he liked a girl and that her heart would be crushed again._

_-I need… I need for you to help me with something._

_-You already said that._

_-I know! I just… I… I don't know how to dance- he whispered._

_-You want me to teach you? I don't know either._

_-I was just thinking you could… you know… dance with me a few times until I get the hand of it. _

_-Okay._

_He smiled so bright after she answered that she almost confessed she liked him. She loved that smile, more than anything else in this world. But she couldn't tell him, because he already liked someone and she was sure she wasn't her._

But now she wasn't so sure. Why was he so interested in knowing if she liked someone from his class? And why was he so happy about her dancing with him? Was he about to ask her to go to prom with him when they were dancing? Was that why he kept making those ridiculous faces?

A knock in the door took her out of her thoughts. She went to open it and her best friend was on the other side.

-Bonnie, you only have foundation on half of your face.

-I need to talk to him, Care. This is driving me crazy.

-I know. But everyone is arriving in thirty minutes, so we're getting ready together.

That's when Bonnie realized that Caroline had a bad on one hand and her dress on the other.

-Ok, help me not to get distracted.

-Fine. I'll talk to you about what we have to do tomorrow so you'll get depressed about it instead of thinking about Damon.

She smiled, it was actually a good a strategy. They started getting ready, while Caroline spoke as much as she could, and it was actually a ton of work they had ahead of them, so the next day she wasn't going to be able to talk to Damon, she needed to know everything tonight.

-Why did you bring that black top with your dress? It's a bold choice, but I don't know if it'll work- interrupted Bonnie once the activities for the next day had distracted her so much she could actually function again.

-Oh, I know you brought jeans and a blouse but I think this top in better than the one you brought.

-But Care, it's too see-through

-Do you want to be sexy or not?

-I just think it needs a jacket on top, I'll probably get it off me when I get drunk, but at first… I'd rather a jacket.

-Ok, you can borrow one of my leather jackets.

-Great.

* * *

-Wow, you girls are going all out today- said Stefan from the living room, he was sitting with Damon and drinking bourbon. Damon was all sprawled on the sofa, anyone would've thought he was relaxed. But she knew him, he was on edge. His eyes were all over her and he was equal parts delighted and scared.

-Thank you fiancé

-You have just two more days to keep calling me that- said Stefan before standing up to meet her in the middle.

-Kids, we don't need you to start making out right now- said Damon a little too cranky before taking a sip of his glass.

-But we're going to, nevertheless- answered Caroline.

Bonnie walked to the sofa and sat by Damon's side. He didn't move.

-We're going to get the food out- said Caroline dragging Stefan to the kitchen.

-Do you need help?

-No, Bonnie. It's all good. You guys relax here.

They left them alone and the silence was so deafening that she had to pour herself a glass of bourbon to feel more comfortable.

-It's everything ok?- she asked after a while.

-Of course, why wouldn't it?

She was about to answer when they heard a knock on the door and he stood up instantly to open it. She sighed, she should've acted sooner, now he'd have the excuse of having everyone around them and she'd have to wait to have him alone.

-Hi girl! You're looking bomb!- said Lexi coming in all dolled up in a very tight dress.

-Look who's talking! That dress is really sexy.

-Of course, everything I put on my body is.

-Including me- said Klaus from behind them, walking with Damon.

They both looked hot, but Damon just had something about him that was different. He usually had a blind confidence that could make anyone fall to their feet, much like Klaus, but today he was holding back a bit. He seemed stressed and he wasn't shooting magnetic waves around him, he seemed unsure about himself and that made her feel much more attracted to him. How could he do that?

He kept avoiding her gaze and she just drank the whole glass instantly. This was going to be a long night.

-Hi guys!- said Caroline from behind and another knock on the door followed her voice- that must be Rebekah.

-Yeah, she refused to come with us.

-I'll get it- said Damon turning around swiftly.

-It's everything okay with him?- asked Lexi

-Mmmm… that's hard to answer. Let's just give him space.

-Ok, Care. That wasn't cryptic at all.

Bonnie smiled to thank her friend, she didn't want anyone meddling in their business, it was nerve wrecking as it was, but with them all knowing and talking about it? That would just destroy her nervous system.

-Just pour yourselves some bourbon or champagne. We have Jo working on some Mojitos in case you want something like that- offered Stefan.

-I know I do.

-Oh Bonnie then let's go get some- said Lexi taking her arm and walking with her to the kitchen- What's going on?- she asked when they were far enough.

-Nothing, he just needs some space

-Why?

-I can't tell you. I should've known you only wanted my company to get secrets out of me.

-Oh, don't be unfair. I just wanted to know if you needed some of my expert words for your service.

-Your expert words are just being blunt and calling out people. That doesn't help.

-It does!

-You girls ok?- asked Jo from the counter.

-Yeah, sorry. We wanted to know if you needed some help.

-No, I'm almost done.

-Ok, let us take some of them then so you don't have to carry them all.

-Thank you, Bonnie. You're always so thoughtful.

Bonnie smiled and took some glasses in a tray, Lexi did the same and they walked together to the living room. By the time they were back everyone was in the room. Everyone but Damon.

-Where's Damon?

-That's exactly what I was wondering Lexi.

-He went to buy something he and Stefan forgot about- said Caroline approaching them.

-Fuck- muttered Bonnie. He was really making her wait.

-Why don't you just drink a mojito, eat some chips and forget about him for a while?

-I wished it was so easy, Care.

-Okay, I don't know what's going on, but if this is making you feel bad, we're cheering you up. We're drinking, dancing, playing some shit and making you forget about that asshole.

-Thank you Lexi.

They were right, she couldn't just wait around for him to make up his mind about talking to her, she needed to have fun, as hard as that sounded.

* * *

-IT'S KARAOKE TIME!- screamed a very drunk Lexi and everyone in the room cheered, except for Damon, who was just smiling and sitting away from everyone else.

-Ok, we first- said Caroline dragging Stefan to the center of the living room, they had YouTube on the TV and they put a karaoke video in it. The song: Perfect, by Ed Sheeran.

-You guys really are too in love- said Lexi before making a disgust face.

-And you're horny all the time and no one says anything so leave us alone!- screamed Caroline before starting to sing, she was very drunk, being on a diet wasn't very good for sobriety endurance.

-Uh, snap!- screamed Rebecca before laughing like a maniac.

Two hours had gone by since they started drinking, Damon had been absent one of those and he was notoriously less drunk than the rest. Even though Bonnie had had a great time while not worrying about him, she was starting to feel bad for him.

She walked up to him and she could feel him stiffen, God, he was scared.

-Are you okay, Damon?- she asked sitting by his side.

-Never better.

-Then why are you all the way here instead of partying with everyone else?

-Because someone has to be responsible. You guys are all too drunk.

-I'm not.

-You're pretty close to yelling right now.

-Okay- she whispered- I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to.

He looked at her for the first time in the whole party, he seemed cautious.

-Are you sure?

-Yes, I don't want you to be torturing yourself here instead of enjoying this party and the buzz and all. We haven't hung up in years, all of us. I want you to be happy and enjoy it and not be here miserable.

-I'm not miserable.

-You look like it.

His eyes were so soft now, he seemed much more relaxed and he even had a little almost imperceptible smile on his mouth.

-I just… I don't wanna lose you, Bonnie. I don't want you to think that I was your friend just because I wanted to make a move on you.

-I would never think that!

-Shhh. You don't need to yell, I'm right here- he had that wry smile on, but his eyes were so sweet.

-I know there's a lot we need to unpack. But right now I think Lexi is right and we should just enjoy ourselves. You owe me a song, you know.

-What?

-Yes, you said we'd sing Shake it off the next time we went to the karaoke.

-But this isn't the karaoke I meant.

-Potato, potatoe- she said moving her hand like it was all the same- you owe me.

-Ok, I need to get drunker for that, though.

-And what's the big deal? We have a lot of alcohol.

He smiled and she put her hand put to help him stand up from the chair. He took her hand and then put it round his arm, like he used to do when they were teenagers, making her smile brightly.

-God, you're beautiful, Bonnie.

Her smile grew bigger and she had to bite her lip not to scream of excitement. She should look away and act modest, a thank you maybe, but she couldn't take her eyes off him. She was very drunk and also scared that if she spoke she was going to say something along the lines of "I think you're the most beautiful one in the world", so to not kill the moment she went for a safer option.

She kissed him in the cheek, surprising the hell out of him. She would've liked to actually see his reaction, but his head moved instantly to the cheering sounds behind her, everyone was watching them and cheering, including Mary Louise.

* * *

After all the drinking, singing and screaming, Jo and Ric went to bed as soon as the first guest left, which was deserving, they weren't used to partying that hard. Stefan took Caroline up stairs on his arms, because she was too tired and drunk to do it herself.

Bonnie went upstairs to put on sneakers, because she was sure that Caroline was too drunk to put stuff in order and she didn't want Stefan to do it all by himself.

But when she arrived to the living room she could only see Damon moving stuff around.

-Do you need some help moving that?

-No, it's okay. Just rest like everyone else, I got this.

-Damon, I know you do, but I wanna help.

-Suit yourself.

He wasn't looking at her, the whole funny and relaxed act Damon had put through the rest of the party was gone and now the real Damon, embodiment of indifference (hiding the fears and anxiety, of course) was in full force once again.

They moved the sofa to the place it belong to. They also moved the other furniture they had temporally relocated to have a dance party. There were also a lot of bottles, glasses and empty trays and plates around the living room. They put everything in order in silence, a comfortable one.

She was still a little bit drunk, but not as much as before. She could walk straight if she focused and she her sight wasn't as blurry as it once was. She was starting to get very, very tired thought. All the activities she had the last couple of days were taking a toll on her and her eyes were starting to feel heavy by the time they were done.

-It's there anything else you need help with?

-No, it's all good, I just need to finish sweeping. I don't think we can walk to your house, though. I'm wrecked. Should I call you an uber?

-No, I'm staying in the guest room.

-Oh. That sounds better.

There was an awkward silence, they had put off the conversation long enough to know that they needed to have it now.

-I can wait for you in the room, if you still wanna talk I mean, I'll put on my pajamas while you finish this up.

-Sounds good.

She reckoned he needed his space and to feel in charge of the situation, she knew she had to tell him about her crush, but he didn't know that she had one, so he probably felt like he was giving too much away without anything in return.

She went to her room and took off all of her make-up and put on a hydrating cream before putting on her pajamas. She brushed her teeth and when she was finally thinking about going out herself to find him, she felt a soft knock on her door.

She opened it and he was outside with his own pajamas on, fidgeting in his place.

-Come in- she invited moving over so he could walk.

-I thought you might be slept by now.

-I was just thinking about going to find you so I could sleep soon.

-You really want to have this conversation, don't you?

-I don't think I'll be able to sleep if we don't.

He sighted and sat on the bed, she followed his lead and sat not too close, to not make him uncomfortable.

-Ok, I'm ready. What do you want to know?

-Did… did you just wanted to go as friends? Or did you… you know…- it was so hard for her to ask him if he had feelings for her, it seemed so pretentious.

-Did I wanted something else? I thought I answered that in the party.

-When?

-When I said I didn't want you to think I was just trying to make my move on you the whole time?

-Oh… that's… true- another awkward silence- So you did want more? I… I can't believe that _you_'d want something with me

-Why not?

-Because you were always going on dates, bragging about having those girls in the back of your hand- she moved her hands a lot, the alcohol still in her veins letting her be more herself and less restraint.

-I was trying to make you feel jealous. I didn't even kiss them… I was just thinking about you the whole time- she could feel him stiffening and she looked at his very red face, that made her stomach fill with butterflies- When they said I did I didn't deny it because I loved seeing how that bothered you- he finished whispering.

She knew she needed to tell him, she breathed deep and closed her eyes to make herself feel brave.

-Damon…

-Wait. Before you say anything, I want you to know that my friendship was always real. Yes, I had feelings for you for the longest time and maybe I idolized you, but that's on the past now. I'm loyal to you as a friend and I want you to know that.

Two things stroked her heart. One made it feel like it grew on size "for the longest time", but the other one broke it. That was on the past, those feelings weren't there anymore, of course they weren't, she was stupid to think otherwise.

Their new friendship seemed so fragile now, it had been changed so many times that she wasn't sure she'd be ever ready or felt confident enough to tell him her real feelings. She sighed, she was still telling her about her crush, but she sure as hell wasn't telling him how she felt now. She couldn't bear for him to reject her.

-I also had a crush on you- she whispered, still with sadness in her voice.

-WHAT?!- he screamed, kind of shocked but also kind of angry.

-SHH! There's people sleeping.

-I'm sorry but… How? When? You never showed you had feelings like that.

-Because I thought you didn't have feelings for me.

-I was so obvious Bonnie, how could you not tell?

-No, you weren't. The only clue I had was when you kissed me before leaving for New York, but after that you started ghosting me and talking about other girls and stuff.

-I was an idiot. The reason I didn't speak to you at first was because I was mad you didn't care about the kiss, you weren't talking about it and you didn't make a big deal out of it, so I thought it was your way of rejecting me.

-I thought you'd say something about it, but you kept talking about other stuff, never addressing it so I thought that maybe I just imagined it at some point.

-I didn't know how to proceed. It was impulsive and I didn't even know if you liked it or hated it.

-Why didn't you ask me?

-Because I was scared. And then Christmas came by and we saw each other and you seemed fine without me. I tried to make you jealous and when that didn't work I just decided I'd take that year to fuck around and meet other girls before you came to NYU so I could get over you. I thought I had it all figured out, but I never thought about your feelings. I didn't consider that you would be so mad at me for ignoring you that you'd go to another school.

-I just don't understand why you didn't stay in contact with me. I was already listening at you talk about your dates, I wouldn't have minded knowing you were a fuckboy, that would actually helped me get over you easily.

-I couldn't sleep around while talking to you Bonnie. If I started talking to you I would've stayed on my dorm, face timing you the whole day and telling you how lonely I felt and the whole plan would've gone to the trash. I wanted to prove that I could survive without you and I just messed everything up.

She put her hand on top on his, he seemed very sad about the way things had turned out. His attitude did make everything hard, but she also contributed by not acknowledging anything.

-It's our fault, Damon, not just yours. I should've been more open too. I should've stopped you before you left that day and confront you about the kiss. Or maybe do that in Christmas. I was just too scared.

-I was scared too. I didn't want to lose you, and that's exactly what happened.

-But we're here now. Years later and we can finally move on and have a real friendship, right?- she asked looking at his eyes, this was her last attempt at getting a confession out of him. She couldn't tell him that she had feelings for him now, because he wanted for them to be friends. Unless that's not what he wanted either.

-Yeah- he smiled for real and she almost said "screw it, I'll tell him", but he kept talking- I'm so glad it's all out there now. I can finally tell you I'm the reason Tyler never asked you out.

-What?

-Yeah. I flipped out when Tyler started saying that he was thinking about asking you out, I think I was 16 already though, because I thought 'I can't hit a 15 year old because he wants to date my best friend'. So I lied to him and told him that you liked older men and that's why you liked Klaus. He was so sad and I was just thrilled. I invited you to the movies that day just to pretend that we were going on a date.

-Really?- he was smiling smugly, like that was a big battle he had won and she just laughed at how adorable that whole story was.

-Yes. I never tried asking you out for real, though, because I was terrified I'd loose you. That's when I started talking about New York and telling you to come with. When you said yes I almost kissed you.

-I would've kissed you back- she offered. He looked at her so intensely, but looked down soon.

-That would've changed our whole history- he whispered lost in his thoughts.

-Yeah. I would've gone to New York with you and I would've hated myself for not being by my Grams side when she died.

-I don't think we could've lasted. We were too young and stupid. I don't think you would've liked seeing me in my destructive moment.

-I don't think I would've let you.

-It had to happen. It made me grow up.

-And we're finally friends again, so maybe it's all for the better.

He nodded looking at the ground and they stayed in silence for a bit. Bonnie finally felt like the weight in her shoulders had lifted, she had said what she said she would and they finally had come clean. She knew now that he liked her back but there was nothing there now, so she maybe would be able to move on more easily.

Her eyes started to feel heavier and his warmth made her feel safe.

-Ok, you look like you need to sleep now. I'll just leave.

-No, wait- she put her hand on his arm and she knew what she was about to ask was too much, but she could totally tell him the next day that it was because she was drunk- can you stay here, telling me more about what I didn't know until I fall sleep?

-You'll fall sleep in a second.

-Then you'll just have to stay here for a second.

He looked so handsome, tired, but still managed to have something about him. His little sweet smile made her feel all sorts of things and she just wished she had known he liked her before so they could avoid all the years of misunderstandings and just be together.

-Fine, get in bed. I'll just be sitting here like a creep.

-You could always lay on top on the covers, you know.

He nodded and did exactly that. She nuzzled close to him and he smiled very close to her.

-Did you really never see that I had feelings for you?

-Never. I thought I was stupid for pinning after you when you just wanted to date girls and then never call them again.

-Because I didn't care about them. All I cared about was you.

-You had a weird way of showing it.- she managed to respond, even though those words made her heart flutter- Dating other girls sure made me feel special- she ended up teasing him to make things more comfortable.

-Okay, you're right. That was stupid. But all the other times I was around you, with you, going out with you, driving you to hang out with Caroline, taking you to different places… I was really devoted to you.

-Well and I was just with you all the time, never dating.

-Except for the time you went to the prom with another guy.

-I did that because you told me you were taking another girl to prom! I was just hurt and decided to accept the promposal from that guy.

-You don't remember his name?

-No, I was just looking for you the whole time we were there.

That brought a huge smile to Damon's face, making her realize how intimate the position they were in really was. He was so close and they were talking about how they both liked each other and vener realized, of course it was too intimate.

-You liked me so much, I can't believe I didn't realize.

-Yeah, me neither. We were kind of obsessed with each other.

-Yeah.

She fought the urge of saying "I still am" and her eyes started closing again. But a recent conversation came to her mind.

-So, when you told me about Elena and all that, you said something about being mad at others girls you liked before and also me. Was I both?

-Yep. I tried to make it less obvious, but I actually only had feelings for you before Elena, so… yeah. I only hated you. Sorry.

-You were the only guy I had feelings for before Enzo, too.- she said smiling and with her eyes closed.

-Such great company.

-Why do you still hate him so much?

-Because he was an asshole. – he claimed sounding very upset still and that made her smile- you're so falling sleep right now, I'll be out here in a second.

-Will you stroke my hair for just a few seconds?

-You're really needy, you know.

-I'm just love deprived. I feel like I've been single for longer than just a few months- she said dragging her words while he started to stroke her hair.

-You've been. Your ex sucks.

-Stop it

He kept on stroking while she started to drive away and he murmured something that the next day she'd wonder if it was a dream or something he actually said.

_-What would you do if I told you I still have those feelings?_

* * *

All rigth, this one ended up in such a big way, hope you guys enjoyed it :) This week was much more relaxedthan the last one, so I had the time to write all of this. I hope you guys liked it, the truth is finally coming out, not all of it because we have two very stubborn people, but they are having to come to terms wth the fact that they've been idiots and that maybe they need to open up a little bit more.

I hope this reached your expectations and now that things are finally moving forward you like the way this gets delivered. Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading your reviews and what you think about it :)

Happy reading!


	12. Chapter 12

XII. Revelations.

"_What would you do if I told you I still have those feelings?"_

She knew it was a dream, but as she was getting ready for the day ahead, she could not stop thinking about it. How raw it sounded, how tentative, as if trying to get a reaction from her but also fearing it.

Damon had always been most vulnerable around her than anyone else while growing up, he'd put up his big boy pants and try to show everyone that he was untouchable, that the tragedy of his life did not define him, that he could take it. But, only on a few special occasions, he'd open himself up to her in such a raw way that she didn't know how to react. Like when his parents died and he told her how he hadn't said goodbye to them because he had been mad about something stupid or when he told her that his dad used to be an asshole to him most of the time.

Those occasions were rare and they always came with that raw voice, she must've had that in the back of her mind, somewhere, for it to come back in her dreams. She hadn't heard that rawness in years, not even earlier that day when he told her he used to have feelings for her.

And as amazing as it would've been if he had told her he still did, she knew it wasn't true. He had told her he didn't have those feelings anymore and she needed to accept that.

So with that in mind, she walked down the stairs to eat something before Caroline kidnapped her to have everything running perfectly for the rehearsal dinner.

A couple of voices came from the kitchen, both female, so Caroline was already up. They were whispering, so she couldn't understand what was being said, but she walked making enough noise so she didn't surprise them. She didn't want them to think she was prying.

-Hey Bonnie!- screamed Caroline pepping from the kitchen, with her hands around a cup full of a hot beverage.

-Hey, it's everything okay?

-Yeah. Don't worry, boys' stuff.

-Well, you're marrying said boy, so it is kind of important- said Jo by her side.

-But there's nothing really going on, he's just being a bit weird.

-He has for a few days now.

-Jo, you're not helping.

-Because you have to talk about these kind of stuff before it all blows up, that's how marriages last: Communication- she said dragging the last word.

-I get it, but I have too much to do today and he was nice enough to let me cold water and an advil in my nightstand in the morning, so he's as thoughtful as always.

-But he left without saying where.

-He's probably jogging, that's how he gets stress out of his system.

-But why is he stressed?

-I DON'T KNOW JO AND YOU'RE STRESSING ME RIGHT NOW

-Okay, all right, let's all just breathe. Did you ask Damon if he knew where he was?

-Yes, Bonnie, I'm not an idiot. He went out to look for him and he told me not to worry.

-Then trust him- she said trying not to take the bait of her commentary- Let's get everything up and running before he arrives.

-Yeah, okay. Have a good breakfast because we're not going to have time to eat anything until the actual dinner.

-Okay.

They ate in an awkward silence, they all knew Stefan had been acting weird for a while now and none of them had any clue as to why. He had spoken about marrying Caroline for a really long time so it couldn't be that he didn't want to and neither that he wasn't ready, this had been on the works for years, so what was actually going on with him?

And Damon knew, obviously but he wasn't telling her. He had also disappeared and she was kind of relieved by that, because she was sure that if he showed up she wasn't going to be able to separate the reality of their last conversation with that dream.

* * *

They were moving stuff and putting on decorations the entire afternoon, Caroline was running up and down the venue, looking for people to snap at and checking her phone without a single call from Stefan. When five hours went by, she got a text from Damon.

_**Everything's ok. Tell blondie we'll be waiting for her at home**_

Well, that wasn't very calming. It seemed like things had gotten out of control at some point, but how? What the fuck was going on?

_What do you mean everything's ok? What happened? It's been hours since you left. Did he get cold feet or what?_

_**Very much the opposite. I can't really tell you anything, but you'll understand tonight.**_

What? She felt like she couldn't really keep asking stuff because he wasn't going to deliver any answers, so she just walked up to Caroline and told her that Stefan was already home. She could see how the tension left her body and she wasn't frowning anymore, but that only led to questions she wasn't able to answer.

They speeded up the whole thing and went home in half an hour, Caroline was clearly thinking about every possibility because her stare was in the road the whole time and not a single word came out of her mouth on the ride home.

Bonnie was nervous, she didn't like all the secrecy Damon and Stefan had going on.

They got to the house and Caroline run up the stairs, Bonnie could only follow her steps but she wasn't going into the room with her, she went to the guest's room very quietly, but she could listen to Caroline yelling at her fiancé. Things weren't going the way her best friend wanted them to and she knew how terrified she was of being left, specially on the altar.

Stefan knew too, he knew her maybe even better than herself, he knew how scared Caroline was of being that vulnerable and being left in front of everyone she knew.

She showered and then started putting make up on, with only a towel on, so she could put on her dress later. Suddenly a quiet knock on her door surprised her.

She opened the door and the blonde was on the other side, she was a little bummed it wasn't Damon, she hadn't seen him all day, but she was also worried for her friend so she tried to push that thought to the back of her mind.

-Are you okay?

-Yes. I'm just still mad.

-What happened?

-He said he went to buy me something as a present and he didn't realize how long he was out, but he is still holding something back. He doesn't want to tell me what's going on or who are the mystery guests so I know it has to do with that.

-He's acting so weird.

-Yes, and I just…

Another knock in the door interrupted her and Caroline's face changed instantly from very concerned to suspicious.

-What?

-Who is that?- she asked with a smile.

-How could I know? I haven't opened the door.

-Then go!

Caroline was smiling like the Cheshire cat and Bonnie just tried to keep her cool while walking to the door, she too had an idea of who it could be and her brain didn't working properly when it came to him, so she tried to calm herself down before she humiliated herself in front of them.

-Hey. Wow, that's a great outfit for the rehearsal dinner- said Damon looking her up and down. She felt her face go up in temperature as she remembered she hadn't changed yet.

-I'm thinking I should overshadow the bride somehow- she tried to joke through the embarresment.

-Hey!- screamed Caroline from behind, surprising Damon.

-I didn't know you had company

-I had to say something before you two got all naughty.

-Caroline! That's not what was going to happen.

She looked at them like saying "yeah, right" and then walked to the door.

-Okay, I'm going to leave you guys alone. I'm not great at third wheeling. Remember you need to leave son though!- she screamed from the corridor.

She left, leaving them very uncomfortable. Damon changed the weight from one foot to the other, while avoiding her gaze and she just hated her best friend for a while.

-It's everything okay?- asked Bonnie to try and ease the mood.

-Yes. Steffy Bear is back.

-I know, but that doesn't mean everything's all right.

-It does. I single-handedly saved this wedding.

-Was it in danger?

-Oh, stop it. You're overthinking it. I just came to see if you were ready, because I'm going to the venue now. Blondie said she forgot to do something and since I didn't help in the afternoon I should go now. Do you want to come with?

-As much as I'd love to keep working for free, I still haven't finished putting on make up and I have to do my hair, so I can't.

-I can wait- he offered lifting a shoulder, as it was anything, but she knew he was kind of nervous. Why?

-Do you know how long it's going to take me to do my hair? You're looking at an hour worth of waiting.

She was nervous too and she wanted to spend some time with him, but she needed to be realistic, Caroline didn't need more trouble today and she needed to be ready in time and he had to go to the venue.

-Jeesh. I guess I'll see you there, then.

-Yeah, sorry. You know I can't just let my hair dry out, I need to style it. There's going to be photos.

-I like your hair when it's natural.

-You've seen it like, twice.

-And? I've seen some movies just once and I know I like them.

She smiled while rolling her eyes, she couldn't argue with that logic. He smiled back and then stepped back to do a little reverence before leaving.

-Have fun!- she screamed while he walked away.

-It isn't going to be easy without you, but I'll try.

She couldn't help but to smile wider, she loved having interactions like these with him. She loved having any interaction with him, really, unless they were fighting.

She just loved being around him. And that thought left her thinking something she hadn't reflected upon on: Would she be ever able to not feel this way about him?

* * *

She finally arrived to the venue and everything was spectacular. The people that had arrived were wearing their best outfits. Caroline was really having the event of the year, wasn't she?

She saw Damon, he was talking with a very good looking girl. She was probably one of Caroline's co-workers and of course, she was drawn to him, he looked smoking hot.

She didn't really feel jealous, she knew he wasn't attracted to her, because he didn't like blondes. He also looked super uninterested in whatever she was talking about and that could only make her feel better about how he looked when they were talking.

He looked at her at that exact moment and his jaw dropped, making a million little butterflies flutter on her stomach. He excused himself and walked up to her, looking like a damn snack and in his eyes she could see that he felt the same way about her look.

-Well, white looks great on you, Bonnie- he said taking her hand to make her turn.

-It's not white, but thank you.

-You and your made up colors- he said rolling his eyes.

-They are not made up, they are very real. You look very handsome as well.

-Of course I do. I was trying to impress you.

-Really? I was actually trying to impress you.

-I guess we have something in common.

He was grinning and leaning forward being very flirty and she could not really wrap her head around that concept. They were flirting with each other? Did he really had the same feelings she did?

She wanted to tell him about her dream, maybe that way he would finally say the words she wanted to hear, maybe if she was brave enough to let him know that she liked what she heard on her dream, he'd be brave enough to say he actually did have feelings for her. She took a deep breath and she was ready. She opened her mouth and another voice broke the silence.

-Bonnie

She could see Damon's face transform. From expectant and flirty to angry. She recognized the voice, so she couldn't blame him.

-Enzo- she said turning around to see his face.

-How are you guys doing this fine evening?- he asked smiling tightly. Obviously, he didn't like the scene he had just seen.

-Thriving before you arrived- responded Damon with an apathetic smile.

-We're okay. Thank you- Bonnie wasn't trying to be apathetic as well, but she couldn't help but to be angry about him not letting Damon say goodbye to her Grams.

-Did I do something wrong?- he asked picking up on her cold attitude immediately, of course.

-Being born

-Damon, don't be a dick- she said looking at him mad, but honestly it was a good burn.

-He can't help it love, it is who he is.

-Look who's talking.

-Okay, boys. Chill. This isn't the place nor the time to make a scene. Caroline's about to arrive and we need to not make this about us. Or really, you and your weird rivalry.

-Weird? Bonnie you know damn well why we have a rivalry

-Why, Enzo?

-Because he was always trying to steal you away from me.

-We didn't even see each other in years because of you, how was I the one trying to steal her away?

-You were being a dick, you didn't deserve being around her.

-Wow, putting her on a pedestal much?

-Guys, please stop. You're making people stare- she whispered, trying to put herself in between both of them.

Thankfully, Caroline arrived at that moment holding Stefan's hand and everyone turned to her. People started coming from the kitchen with alcohol and food on trays and Caroline thanked and welcomed everyone, as planned.

-I think we need to talk, Bonnie- whispered Enzo on her ear.

-I don't want to- she replied, not looking at him.

-Then the more reason we have to.

She looked at him now, defiant and he seemed to be begging with his eyes. She also felt Damon's eyes on her and she knew he wasn't liking the idea, but this was her decision to make and Enzo was right, they needed to talk and she needed to know why he had been so stubborn in not letting them interact all those years.

-Ok, let's go to the garden, but we'll make this quick. We need to come back before they sit on the table in fifteen minutes.

She walked outside, feeling Damon's eyes at all times, but she didn't want to give explanations about her decisions and she needed to know what happened in order to learn, right?

They got outside and he seemed calmed, now that he was away from Damon he seemed like a composed guy, but she knew that was a façade. He was still boiling because of their encounter.

-So, you and Damon are a thing now?

-No and if we were it's none of your business.

-Can you tell me what have I done to deserve you treating me like this?

-What do you mean you don't know? You pushed us away, as much as you could. You asked around when Damon was going to be here so you would too, you planned your trips around his? Really? That's sick. And not only that, you didn't let him be on my Grams funeral.

-You were already pushing each other away and I did that to protect you. All of that. He's an asshole and you seemed to enjoy me doing it. I never saw you complain about not being able to hang out with him when I was in town. You usually thanked me for it.

-Because I thought it was a coincidence, I thought you were coming home as a surprise because you loved me, not because Damon had come to town.

-It was that as well! I wanted for you to be comfortable and I knew he didn't make you feel good.

-That's bullshit. We fought, yes, but he and my Grams had a relationship on their own, what you did was messed up.

-How was I supposed to know that Bonnie?! You hardly told me anything about him and you. I knew bits and pieces and I had to put together some other stuff from what I heard on your little fights and what the other guys said about you.

-Well maybe you shouldn't had to make decisions that weren't yours. Maybe you should've let me grow and come to terms with my relationship with Damon on my own and without you meddling.

-Are you kidding me? How was I going to do something like that? Should've I just break up with you and send you to his house? In a silver platter?

-What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm not a fucking object, Enzo.

She turned around, trying to calm herself, she had screamed a lot but she was also about to start crying, he was a dick and she was with this dick for four years. For two full years she didn't notice he wasn't just coincidentally visiting when Damon was home, but he was just asserting dominance, showing everyone she was his and his only. She felt disgusted.

-I'm sorry Bonnie- he sighed and tried to hold her from the back, but she pulled away. She turned around with more hate in her eyes than ever before.

-Don't fucking touch me. You're disgusting. You're a sexist pig and a bastard and I regret ever being with you.

He took a step back, clearly hurt by that and she knew that that was what she wanted but she felt a bit guilty too. He had been good to her on numerous occasions and she was maybe overreacting.

-I get it. You feel used, but it's not like that Bonnie.

-What's it like, then?

-I… remember the last time we talked to him? On Stefan's birthday? He was a dick, you fought with him, and even after that, you kept looking back at him with something I've never seen before in your eyes. You didn't only miss him, there was more and I was baffled. How could you miss such an idiot and why were you so drawn to him that even after calling him out you still wanted to see him and be close to him?

-I don't know what you're talking about- she whispered, she didn't remember the exact moment, but she kind of knew what he meant.

-You do. He has a way of getting under your skin like no one else. You were robotic for months on end, from classes to your house and I worried that you were getting depressed and there was nothing I could do, but one interaction with him and all of your emotions came out and for the first time in ages I saw the real you. I hated the effect he had on you. I still do.

She was silent, trying to remember when did this last conversation happened and then it all came back to her.

_-So caring of you to show up here- he said to Bonnie the minute they were close by_

-_Of course we're here. Stefan's my best friend._

_-Ouch- he said sarcastically and seemed like he was going to continue but was cut by his phone ringing - yes? What? Are you really that dumb? Can't you manage anything without me?- he said before turning around and leaving to talk to the person on the other line._

_-I apologize for him. He's got a new intern and he seems to never get things right- said Elena not looking at them, but to someone behind them._

_-Well, isn't he being rough to him, though? - asked Enzo _

_-Oh, no. That's just the way they treat each other._

_-I'm having a hard time believing he lets his intern speak to him like that- she intervened before drinking from her glass, leaving them in an awkward silence that was only ended when Damon came back._

_-Sorry, I was busy with my business._

_-Busy being an asshole._

_-Oh, she's got claws. Come on Bonnie! You'd understand if you met him._

_-I wouldn't. As much as he's fucking up he's still working for you for free. And he's still a human being. Being a boss is about being a leader, not about putting other people down to feel good about yourself._

_-Ok, Bonnie. I think we should go now- said Enzo taking her glass from her hand._

_-Yes, listen to your boyfriend. Do as he says. That's what you've been doing lately, anyway._

_-Well at least my boyfriend cares enough about me to tell me when I'm messing things up, instead of making up excuses for my bad behavior._

_That was definitely not expected by them, as she could see in their faces. Elena was blushing furiously and Damon seemed really pissed._

_-Ok, this was fun. Would you like to go home now, love?- asked Enzo seeing as nothing good could come up from staying there._

_-No, I came here to have fun- she answered before turning her back on the other couple and walking towards the first bottle of alcohol she found and chugging it. They stayed just one more hour in the Salvatore house, because she got drunk pretty quickly._

She could understand where he was coming from, she had been a bit stressed out and depressed about her Grams passing and then he told her to go to Stefan's birthday to cheer her up and the first thing she does is get into a fight with Damon.

And of course she knew what he meant by her being affected too much by Damon, she hated it herself and couldn't help it, it must've been hard for him to just accept her girlfriend responded more to this asshole than to him being sweet and caring.

But that didn't gave him the right to police who got into her Grams' funeral and who didn't.

-I can see why you hated him, but that didn't give you the right to telling him to leave my Grams' funeral.

-I know. I'm sorry. I was just so mad that he thought he had every right to just waltz into the room and talk to you when you guys only fought when you saw each other and then Stefan's birthday happened and I thought I had made the right choice. He even backed me up in the funeral.

-I don't care. It was my decision to make.

-You're right and anything I could do now would be able to erase it, but please just understand.

-I do- she whispered looking to the ground. She hated herself for being so dramatic, if she hadn't acted that way around Damon when they saw each other in those events, things would be so different.

-Can I hug you?

He seemed hopeful and somehow ready for closure, she was ready for it too. She nodded.

They hugged for a few minutes and she could feel like her wounds were healing. He had been an important part of her life and she had been so angry at him lately. She needed to let anger go, she had been feeling it for too long, either towards him or Damon.

They pulled back and she could feel some eyes on her so she turned around, of course Damon was looking at them.

She felt weird, like she had to tell him that this was not romantic. Like she was cheating on him, but that was ridiculous. They'd been closer, for sure and they were regaining each other's trust and maybe even flirted a little but that didn't mean they had anything going on.

She heard Enzo said something, but she was so lost in her thoughts that she could understand.

-I'm sorry, you were saying?

-I'm saying I always hoped you looked at me the way you look at Damon when you think nobody's looking.

-What?- she could feel her face turning to fire.

-Yeah, Bonnie. I think we had a good run... And I think you did look at me almost as passionately and intensely as you look at him, you try to mask it with anger, but you can't help but to feel things when he's around.

They stayed silent for a moment, he was right and she hated that because it meant he had been knowing for a while. She couldn't lie to him any longer so she just left her guard down.

-How long have you known?

-Since I met him. You are so reserved, Bonnie. So collected and always being the calm one and helping other people calm down, so as soon as I saw the way you looked at him on the Salvatore house I realized you either loved him or hated him. Later on I just knew it couldn't be hate.

-I loved you too, Enzo

-I know. But you never quite loved me as much as you love that idiot. I thought I had made peace with it, but he can still get under my skin too, he really has a gift.

-Why didn't you tell me? And how can you talk about it like it's nothing?

-Because I always knew about it, love. And I also knew he loved you, even when he was walking around with that chick. He looked at you the same way. I just tried to be with you as long as I could before you both realized it.

-No, that's where you're wrong. Damon doesn't feel the same way, he just cares about me as a friend- she claimed, not sure if she was trying to convince him or herself.

-Then why did it look like his heart was crushed when he saw us hugging? And why did he looked at you the way he did when you arrived? I bet that now he is trying to look at another girl that way, because he thinks that you don't feel the same way about him.

-Ok, now you're just talking like a crazy person. This isn't a soap opera, this is real life

-I know you don't want to admit it Bonnie, but you guys are very dramatic. Plus, how can you say that when you've basically admitted you have loved him long before you met me and you still haven't told him.

He was right. She knew it and she didn't want to admit it, but if he was as stubborn as her then they'd never tell each other anything. This really was a soap opera.

Before she could defend herself the sound of a triangle pierced through the night and she knew they had to go to sit, because they were going to serve dinner.

-We better go back inside.

He nodded and trailed behind her, she could feel everyone's eyes on her the second she stepped foot back inside, but she only looked at Damon. He was avoiding her gaze and talking to the girl he was ignoring when she arrived. Maybe Enzo was right.

Everyone started sitting on their designated seat and she of course was sitting by his side.

-Everything okay?- she asked when he sat without looking at her.

-Peachy.

Caroline gave a speech so she couldn't talk more with him until the waiters came in to put the entrées on their plates.

-Are you mad at me?

-Why would I?- he asked finally turning to look at her, with his eyes very icy.

-Because you're not behaving the same way as before.

-I'm just tired, Bonnie.

She didn't want to push it, one because she knew he could snap in front of everyone and she didn't want to draw attention to them and two because everyone was already paying too much attention to their little interaction.

She started to eat and finally Lexi started talking and the others joined, making the mood a lot lighter. She knew she needed to talk to him, but she had to do it later. She didn't know what she was supposed to say, though. I'm sorry I hugged him? She had a right to do so.

She had a right to talk to him and hug him if she wanted, she didn't need to apologize. He was being an idiot again and she needed to point that out, but she wasn't going to do it in front of everyone. After the toast they both had to give they were supposed to go dancing to the dance floor, according to the itinerary, so she was taking that opportunity and taking him to dance.

Damon had the speech first, it was funny and it ended lovely, it was perfect. She hated him for always knowing what to say and going after him obviously made it awkward because people had big expectations for her and she could feel the tension on her shoulders.

He even mentioned the new necklace Caroline was sporting, the thing Stefan had gotten her as a wedding gift that same morning, with his help. She had no idea that had happened and she was happy that that was the reason he was so mysterious and they had been out of the house that long.

-And now it's the maid of honor's turn. Bonnie!- screamed Caroline onto a mic, before passing it to her.

-Well, thank you guys for inviting me. And thank you Care for keeping your promise of making me your maid of honor, even when you made that promise sixteen years ago in your mom's basement, using her red lipstick to write it down. I don't recall her being too excited about it- that made a few people laugh, taking a bit of the tension off- But she seems excited now that you guys are happy and finally getting married, because she told me she was getting a tad worried about it taking too long…

-We all were- interrupted Lexi, making people laugh.

-But in all seriousness, we all knew you guys were made for each other the moment you started dating eight years ago. Although you guys looked very different, Care had a weird phase where she believed she was a country singer and only wore cowboy boots and dresses…

-Oh yeah, I loved those

-Well, thank God you did or we wouldn't be here today. And I'm really happy that you guys found each other, because you make each other happy. I know I've never seen Caroline happier than when Stefan asked out for the first time or when she told me he French kissed her.

-Too many details!- screamed Liz, making people laugh.

-More details!- screamed Lexi, making people laugh harder.

-No, let's leave it at that. The thing is, I don't think anyone deserves a happy ending more than you guys and I'm looking forward to see you getting old and wrinkly together. Cheers!

-Cheers!- screamed everyone.

-Okay, thank you guys so much, please now join us in the dance floor- asked Stefan in the microphone.

Everyone started standing up and doing as Stefan asked, but suddenly the front door opened and two people got inside.

-Who are they?- asked Caroline, making Bonnie turn her head to her and her fiancé, who's face was pale.

-My co-workers- he mumbled.

Bonnie looked back to the couple, who were much closer now. Oh no.

-Are we late? I'm sorry, Stefan. I'll make it up to you- she said with a fake smile and that snobby accent of hers.

Bonnie looked at Caroline who was obviously livid and decided it was her duty as maid of honor to intervene before she caused a scene.

-No worries, we could call the waiters so they can get you guys some food.

-Oh, aren't you adorable. Thank you. We'll sit and wait.

They turned around and walked to their designated seats, making some heads turn, because naturally, some of their oldest friends recognized her.

-Care…- said tentatively Stefan.

-When were you going to tell me you invited her?

-I can explain.

-Explain it then, and also when were you going to tell me that she got you the job? That you work with her?

-Care, let's calm down- intervened Bonnie before things blew out of proportion.

-How?- hissed the blonde.

-Let's go talk to the waiters and breath in and out.

-No, Bonnie. I can't.

Everyone fell silent, they were trying to not draw attention but the tension was palpable and soon enough people started whispering around them.

-Okay, it's not such a big deal, let's all just calm down- offered Damon with a wry smile.

-Oh, you mean to tell me you knew?- asked Caroline throwing daggers at him with her eyes.

-Maybe…but honestly, I don't see the problem.

-You don't see the problem with my future husband lying to me? Hiding information about working with his ex? Or inviting her to the wedding? Where she can oppose?

He went silent, clearly he hadn't thought about it.

-She's not going to- claimed Stefan trying to calm her down.

-Oh and you know that because you're such good friends with her again?

He looked at the floor, clearly feeling guilty. Caroline was fuming and Bonnie didn't know how to fix this. Suddenly, her best friend started walking towards the kitchen.

-Where are you going?- asked Stefan following her, as well as Bonnie and Damon.

-Where do you think? I'm leaving. Have fun with Valerie.

* * *

Okay! So much happened this chapter! I was nervous I wouldn't be able to put all I wanted in a single chapter but it worked! I know the last couple of chapters haven't been _that_ exciting, but that's because it was leading to this. One of you mentioned in a review something about Enzo showing up to the wedding and I screamed because you guessed it! Am I that predictable? haha

Anyways, what did you guys think? I loved writing the tension moments in this chapter and the jealousy too, it's way too much fun! I don't know if anyone could guess the surprise guest was Valerie, let me know in the comments.

Also, Bonnie believes what Damon said it's a dream. What do you guys think will happen next?

And yes, Bonnie is wearing the dress she wore on Steroline's wedding on the show. In case you want to see some of her outfits I have mentioned they are all in the tumblr I made for this fic bamon-iridescence. tumblr. com

There's also some gifs in there and sneak peeks if anyone's interested. Anyways, I hope you guys liked it and you leave me a message with which one was your favorite scene, did you like the Damon and Enzo fight? Or did you like Enzo saying he has known for years about her feelings? And Damon's feelings? Or when they were flirting?

Thank you so much for your comments, they make me very happy!

Happy reading!


	13. Chapter 13

XIII. _Tell me why._

-Care? Are you okay in there?

Caroline had hidden in the bathroom, Bonnie had taken the opportunity to go ask the waiters to take the food to Valerie and her date and she thought that Caroline would be out by the time she was done, but no. She was still inside.

-Are you alone?

-Yes.

Her best friend opened the door and yanked her inside, she had been crying, her mascara was running and her eyes were red. Bonnie hugged her, but the blonde pushed her away.

-Not right now, if you hug me I won't stop crying and I need to recover. Can I go sleep in you house? I don't my mom to freak out over this and I don't want to be with anyone else than you.

-Of course, Care. Here, have my keys. Go in your car while I distract everyone and then I'll uber there.

-Thank you so much!- she hugged her this time and Bonnie could feel her crumble a little so she let her go quickly.

-Let's keep this for later tonight, okay? We need for you to be composed so you don't have an accident on the road.

-You're right. Yes. Composed- said Caroline before sniffing and standing straight. Her best friend was a strong woman, so she knew she was getting over this, even though she didn't know what "this" was.

-Okay, I'll call you in ten minutes, when I'll take the uber.

-Thank you, Bonnie.

-No worries, that's what best friends are for- she was about to say bridesmaids but she knew that was just going to hurt more.

She got out of the bathroom with a reassuring smile. Unfortunately, Damon was waiting for her in the hallway.

-Hey, it's everything okay?

-Isn't that ironic? Haven't I asked you that exact same question about this very issue? And what have you responded?

-Okay, Bonnie, now it's not the time to get your claws out.

-Now it's the perfect moment, Damon Salvatore. You knew about this and you went along with it and you even covered for him!

-He has his reasons.

-I don't care. He should've been honest.

He got quiet for a bit and cursed under his breath.

-You're right. But if Blondie's mad because of him hiding this, tell her it's my fault.

-What do you mean it's your fault?

-He wanted to tell her everything, but I knew she'd flip out. I thought it'd be better if she was in a controlled environment where she couldn't throw stuff at him or make a scene.

-Why would she do that? Does he deserve that?

-No, of course not. He's not done anything wrong, other than following my advice.

-Which is as wrong as can be.

-Stop being like this, we need to fix this. They're getting married in two days.

-You should've thought of that before. Caroline doesn't want to talk to him.

-But you can convince her.

-No, I can't. Caroline wants to be alone and she deserves that.

-So you don't want to

-No. I don't want to and I can't either. You know Caroline. Now, let's go to tell the guests that the bride had an inconvenient but that the party keeps going.

-Why?

-Because that's what Caroline would want. She doesn't want for people to realize and talk shit about it tomorrow.

-Fine.

They walked to the main salon, where everyone was on the dance floor except for the groom and his two "surprises". As soon as Stefan saw them he walked towards Bonnie.

-Please tell me she doesn't want to call off the wedding.

-I don't know. I just know that you fucked up.

-Yes, I know. I know and I'm so sorry, I just need to talk to her, I need to explain.

-But you can't right now, she doesn't want to see you.

-But I have to

-Stefan, you know her. Do you think the best thing is to push her right now? I think you guys need to spend the night apart to clear the air and not be too hot headed. Maybe tomorrow you can discuss everything.

-I know you're right, but I know I hurt her and that kills me. Please tell her that.

-Ok, let me just tell the guests that she had an inconvenient so we can save faces. Don't give any detail, tell people she'd be all right tomorrow, that it's not a big deal. I'll talk to her mom so you don't have to lie to her.

-Thank you so much Bonnie.

-Just don't mess it up any harder.

* * *

Bonnie finally arrived home, after a few more conversations and reassuring people that the bride was okay. It was particularly hard with Liz, but she told her that she was going to be her doctor the whole night and that seemed to calm her down.

When she came back home, Caroline was a huge mess.

-He's a fucking liar!- was the very first thing Bonnie heard when she got through the door.

-Yeah, he is.

-And her? Why her? Of all people? Couldn't he had brought anyone else to our wedding?

-He's an ass.

-An asshole. This is my day, how dare she come back? And why did he let her?

She kept on that tirade, without really listening to Bonnie's replies, but counting on them, because when she didn't say anything her friend would turn to her and ask her if she was listening. Of course she was, there was no way she couldn't listen to her, hell, even her neighbors were listening to her.

-Do you want ice-cream?- she offered the third time her friend started crying on her couch.

-Yes, please.

-Good. Then we're putting some spoons on the fridge so you can put them in your eyes. You can't have swollen eyes tomorrow.

-You always think about everything, Bonnie. You're such an angel fell from heaven.

-You may be exaggerating, but I like it.

They had their ice-cream while Caroline's phone was blowing up and she only picked up the one call that was from her mother, any other person she ignored.

-Thank you Bonnie.

-Don't worry, that's what I'm here for. How about we go put on pj's and try to sleep?

-Okay. I'll turn off my phone, though, because I don't want that fucking liar to interrupt my sleep.

She knew Caroline was trying to act tough and like she hated him, but deep inside she was hurt. She trusted Stefan more than she did anyone in the world and this betrayal was bigger than anything anyone else could've done because it came from him.

She also knew that she was dying to pick up the phone and yell at him, so she had to stop herself from it by turning it off. she didn't say anything, though, because she wanted her best friend to do as she pleased, after all, Stefan had really fucked up.

The next day they woke up with the sound of someone knocking on Bonnie's door.

-If it's Stefan I don't want him in.

-But it's been a whole night, he must be worried.

-I don't care. I hope he's scared that I'll cancel the wedding. He deserves it.

-Okay, whoever it is that's knocking in my door isn't stopping, so let me get the door.

Bonnie went to open the door and Stefan wasn't the one there. It was Damon.

-What are you doing here?

-I know I shouldn't be here, but we did as you told us, and she still doesn't want to talk to him.

-Because she doesn't want to.

-Come on Bonnie! You know this is stupid, they're getting married tomorrow, they need to talk things out.

-I can't force her to do anything, Damon.

-But you can talk some sense into her. She needs to listen to him.

-What do you want me to do? I don't know anything, I can't convince her. I don't even know if it's a valid reason for him to not tell her

-It is. It really is, she just needs to her him out.

She thought about it for a few seconds. She knew Care was listening to their every word, so maybe he could convince her.

-She hates you right now, you know. She knows it was your idea to wait until the rehearsal dinner for her to find out.

-Well, he wasn't sure she was actually showing up, so I thought it wasn't worth it to worry her with it.

-And Stefan agreed?

-He was afraid she'd freak out about it and want to cancel it because of bad luck of the ex being in the wedding

-That's something she'd do. But still, it was a shitty position to put her on.

-Yeah. I know, but it wasn't even a sure thing.

-But why invite her? It doesn't make sense

-I know that's what it looks like! But Bonnie, you guys don't have the full story and Stefan needed to have some time with this information before he told it to everyone. Even with me, it took him a few days.

-Let him come- said a somber Caroline from Bonnie's room, without showing her face

-I love you Blondie!-screamed Damon while taking his phone out of his pocket- you'll be great for my brother. Texting him right know.

-I still hate you.

-I know and I'll make it up to you by taking Bonnie far away from here

-What? No, she needs me here.

-She's a grown woman, Bon Bon. Plus, they're having make up sex and you don't want to be here for that, she's a moaner.

-DAMON! WHAT THE FUCK?!- screamed Caroline coming out of the room in a second and throwing a pillow at him

-What? The walls are pretty thin, it's not really my fault- he said dodging the pillow.

-Ew. I can't believe you've heard it.

-It wasn't pleasant for me either. Okay. He's on his way, shall we, witchy?

-You okay with this?

-Yeah. We do need to talk alone about this.

-Okay, let go brush my teeth and put on some clothes.

-You look in your pajamas, I'll take you out like that.

-No, but you'll buy me breakfast.

-Oki doki.

After a few minutes Bonnie came out of the bathroom with clean clothes and a fresh face and they left her house to let Caroline have the space to herself. As soon as Damon started the car they could see Stefan getting to the driveway. He looked like shit, honestly, as if he hadn't slept for a singles second since last night and knowing what happened, that was probably the case.

-All right. I know I'm going to find out soon, so it would be nice if you could just shorten the time for me- said Bonnie when they were far enough from her house.

-I can't tell you everything. There's some stuff that I didn't know and neither did Stefan. I can tell you that he had no idea she got him the job, until a few weeks ago. They don't work together, she's part of the buffet but in England.

-Then how did she got him the job?

-She somehow knew he was applying for it and recommended him.

-Really? But why invite her? As payback?

-Because there's something he just found out about and there's stuff he needs to figure out. You'll know soon enough, but that's his secret, not mine.

-That just makes it even more complicated, Damon.

-Well I can't tell you more than that, but I can tell you is that we're going to Little Heaven and then I'm taking you somewhere we haven't been in in years.

-That could be literally anywhere, we haven't been together almost anywhere in years.

-Why are you such a party pooper?

-I'm just a realist.

-Party pooper. Just relax now, we have a long way to go and a great playlist I put on Spotify.

-The best of 2000's?- she asked looking at his phone plugged to the car.

-Hell yeah!

-Weirdo.

She relax against the car seat, they had at least half an hour until they could reach the restaurant and she knew it was stupid and her focus should be on her best friends and their drama but she couldn't help but to remember what Enzo said about her and Damon. It's not like it was the first time someone commented on their "obvious feelings for each other" and she was starting to think that maybe they got a point.

She was suddenly nervous, they were about to spend a whole day with Damon and he was taking her to her favorite pancake place and then also somewhere they hadn't been in years? What was in his mind? Why was he acting like this?

* * *

After their breakfast, they got on the road again and as much as she wanted to bask on his presence she was falling asleep, listening to Caroline all night didn't leave a ton of time for sleeping and now she was paying the consequences.

-If you want to sleep you can just push that button and push the seat back, I'll let you know when we get there.

-Don't you need a copilot to keep you up too?

-You're not really doing the work either way, you're falling asleep right now, with your head hanging, that distracts me more.

-Fine. I'll just take a power nap.

-Good.

She fell asleep pretty fast, and pretty deep as well, she even dreamt about the wedding, where everything went wrong and not only Valerie objected but also Enzo, with his reasons being "they shouldn't be up there it should be me and Bonnie". Weird.

She woke up with a gentle touch in her arm and when she opened her eyes, she could see the mountains and a huge, beautiful lake in front of her. He was right, they hadn't been there in years, since the last summer before he left.

-I've missed coming here- she commented with a throaty voice while stretching.

-Me too. And you slept for a very long time, I'm impressed. I even honked someone and you didn't even flinch.

-I believe that sound ended up in my dream… or nightmare, really.

-What happened?

-I don't know, I think Enzo got to the wedding in a car and honked to object? I can't really remember it that good.

-Well, that's a weird nightmare.

She smiled and opened the door to get the fresh air in her face and as soon as it did she breathed deep. God, she really missed this place.

-Thank you for bringing me here.

-You're welcome. Actually, I wanted to come here and you were available so…- he finished with a shrug, but she knew that wasn't true.

-You said you wanted to bring me here, so now you'll have to tell me why.

-Ain't nothing but a heartache- sang Damon loudly.

-Stop diverting, tell me- she said laughing

-TELL ME WHY?!- he sang now at the top of his lungs and a few people who were very far away turned to look at him

-Damon stop, there's people watching

-And? They haven't seen anyone sing before?

-I don't know, but just simmer down- she responded with a soft smile. He smiled back at him with that a very small smile, one of the real ones, making her heart do that thing were it seems like it wants to scape her chest.

-Ok, fine. I'll stop having fun, judgey. But we have to play cards.

-What? That's why you brought me here? We could've done that at your house.

-And miss this amazing view? Nah. Here.

He took a maze of cards from his jacket's pocket and invited her to sit on the sand with him. But before she could sit she heard her phone rang in her pocket.

-I'll take this and then we play- she said before turning around and picking up- Hello?

-Hello, miss Bonnie Bennet?

-Yeah, who is this?

-Oh, come on, you've been three weeks away from the Hospital and you can't recognize my voice?

-Shauna? Yes, of course, I'm so sorry. I was distracted.

-It's ok. I take it you weren't expecting to hear from me?

-Well, I thought that you guys had passed in having me permanently.

-Oh hell no, we wanted to give you some time before you get here for real.

-What? What do you mean?

-I mean that the first day of August is your first day as an official doctor of the Mystic Falls Hospital. Congratulations, girl!

-OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY!- she screamed before starting laughing of happiness

-We are happy to have you on our team as well. I was hoping I could get you the news myself, that's why you're hearing it from me.

-Oh my God, I love you so much!

-And I have a husband. But I love you too. I can't wait to work alongside you.

-Thank you thank you thank you!

-Okay, all right. It's all good. Now go tell your loved ones the good news and I'll go back to my shift.

-Of course. Thank you again!

-No problem, see you around.

She hanged up and Damon was standing behind her looking puzzled.

-Did you just win the lottery?- he wondered amused by her gigantic smile

-I GOT THE JOB!- she screamed happily and he opened her arms for her with a proud smile on his face, she run towards him and couldn't help but to give him a koala hug while laughing uncontrollably.

-You deserve this, Bonnie- he whispered on her ear while hugging her tight.

-I'm just so happy!

-I get it, I-

-GET A ROOM- someone screamed from a distance, making her feel embarrassed enough to unwrap herself from his body.

-Sorry, that wasn't appropriate.

-That was the most appropriate response to the news- he reassures her with a smile- I feel like playing cards is a little too anticlimactic now.

-Nah. It's the most appropriate thing to do. I feel invincible now

-Too bad you're losing this time.

-Unless you still have the same tell.

-I can guarantee I don't.

-Okay, then let's make this interesting. If you lose you have to tell me something I've always wanted to know- she said while sitting on the sand and he did the same afterwards.

-Okay, and if you lose you have to have dinner with me today- he responded while giving her cards to start the game.

She looked at him cautious about the dinner, trying to figure out his true intentions, but he seemed to be sincere and behind his nonchalant attitude she could see that he was a little bit embarrassed, so that kind of give her hope. Maybe he did have those feelings too.

And then she remembered seeing him flirting with the blonde in the rehearsal party, probably because she was talking to Enzo, who told her he was going to do that to hide his feelings again. Was he right? There was only one way to know.

-Oh, I thought you were going to have dinner with the blonde - she said looking at her cards trying to look unfazed before drawing.

-Are you jealous Bonica Magica?

-Were the hell do you get your nicknames from?

-You're wearing your Hufflepuff earrings. And I thought I needed to spice things up with the nicknames.

He surprised her with that, she had bought those earrings with him when they were teenagers because they had the Hufflepuff colors, she always said that if she were ever to go to Universal she was going to go with those. He was really paying attention.

\- I thought you'd forget about these.

\- They're too weird to forget

\- Oh yeah? Well your date last night was too weird to forget

\- What are you a middle schooler? Plus, she wasn't my date, she's Caroline's coworker. I met her last night

\- Oh... Interesting.

They stayed silent for a few moments while playing and she knew they needed to talk about serious stuff, but she didn't know how to. She was still from the high of the phone call and she needed to know if Enzo was right and he felt the same way she did but she didn't know how to proceed.

-What are you worried about?-he asked interrupting her thoughts, making her feel caught.

-Nothing, beating you- she blurted out.

-You're not even looking at me, how are you supposed to know if I still have my tell.

-Because it's a feeling.

-See? You're psyquic, witchy.

-Shut up- she said smiling.

-And then you don't want me to give you nicknames like that. You're a walking meme, you deserve the nicknames.

-Why are you talking about memes? You're an old person.

-Oh come one, I'm only one year older than you

-Yeah and I'm never talking about memes.

-Because you're boring.

-Then why do you like hanging out with me so much?

-Because I get to be the funny one. The one with the nicknames, the jokes. I love me when I'm with you.

-You're an idiot- she responded rolling her eyes.

-No, I'm not. Well, a bit. But actually, I don't know why I like hanging out with you, maybe it's just force of habit. Since I'm back in Mystic Falls.

-Yeah, but even before. You were the one that started talking to me.

-Yeah- that put a smile on his face- Stefan didn't want to hang out with me as much because he was always with Lexi. I wanted a friend who was a girl too, see why Stefan liked it so much and then one day in school I saw you on your locker. And I chose you.

-What do you mean you chose me?

-We were already kind of friends because I was always hanging out with Stefan's classmates, I thought it made me cool to hang out with the small ones. I always thought you were cool, but that day I... I don't know. There was something about you, I still don't know what it is, but I just know that at the moment all I could think about was the first nickname I gave you and you never found out.

-What? You had a nickname for me and you never told me what it was?

-Yeah...- he seemed to hesitate but he said it anyway- Little bird.

-What? Why? That's very unexpected

-Because you looked like one. You were not really paying attention to anyone, but you moved anytime someone came close to you so you were aware of them. You reminded me of the little birds that sometimes came to the birdbath in our backyard.

She looked at him like she didn't believe him. This was a detail he had never ever told her about their friendship, she just knew they were friendly and suddenly he took her under his wing and they started being best friends. The reasoning behind it was nuts though. And maybe a little romantic?

-Well then why you never told me you had that nickname for me?

-Because I was a stupid adolescent who believed anything too imaginative was just embarrassing. So I made other nicknames for you like Bon Bon, witchey and judgey. They seemed more appropriate than Little bird.

-Yeah... So you just let that one go

-Oh, no. In my mind you've always been a little bird. It actually made more sense later. When your mom left you looked like a wounded bird. When you recovered from it, you started being more elusive. You wouldn't show the world what you were feeling and if someone asked you, you'd just spread your wings and fly away. From feelings, serious talks, embarrassing talks. You were the queen of flying away. So, you've always been a little bird to me, mostly because you never really got tall.

-I... I don't always run away.

-You are getting better at confronting your problems, for sure. But I can still see the need to just fly away.

-Yeah?

-Like right now, you want to fight me and change the subject. You're starting to get mad because I think I know you after all these years, but the truth is, Bonnie: we know each other like the back of our hands. Years have gone by and I can still predict what you're going to do and you can still hand me my ass because you know every single one of my weak spots.

She stayed quiet for a bit. Because he was right. As much as she wanted to fight it, they just knew each other so well that they both could see how the other had grown and how they had changed. The only thing they couldn't see was the feelings they had for each other all those years ago and maybe even now. Maybe, it wasn't so crazy to think that maybe she didn't dream about him saying he still had feelings for her.

So she made a desicion.

-I can't believe I'm saying this but you're right. I can still see through you. And your tell.

She had won. Like all those other times.

-Oh come on!- he grunted while she laughed- fine, ask away.

-No, I'll ask you over that dinner tonight.

* * *

Hi! Hope you guys liked the chapter, I'll keep the mystery for another week, but I'm giving you guys some more backstory from these two beautiful idiots. In case any of you is wondering were I got the "Little Bird" nickname it's from the books, he usually calls her Red Bird, but since our Bonnie isn't a redhead I thought the other one was better.

I loved your comments the last chapter, they really make me feel so much better about writing this story and it's actually making me think about maybe doing a second part or putting more story than what I first intended, one because I intended for this fic to be only 13 chapters, but things escalated a bit and now it'll probably have four or five more chapters, so if you're interested in more, let me know.

Anyways, thank you for reading and tell me if you expected this to happen this chapter or were you thinking something completely opposite would go down?

Thank you and hopefully you'll like this one! Happy reading!


	14. Chapter 14

XIV. Hidden in the past

Bonnie was a little nervous, they were finally on the restaurant Damon chose, she had just ordered and she disconnected herself while Damon said what he wanted.

She didn't know what she wanted to ask him, there was so much she wanted to know, when he started having feelings for her, how did it happen, when did it stop? She wanted to know stuff about his life too, how he had coped with those "destructive months" and how he came out of it.

-Earth calling to Bon Bon- he said moving a fork on front of her face.

-Hmm? I'm sorry… I was just…

-Are you having second thoughts about what you ordered?

-No, not at all. It's just… it's a lot of pressure to know exactly which question I should ask. There's a lot I want to know.

-Okay, how about we make things more interesting? Maybe you ask one more question than me?

-Okay. I want three questions like the three wishes. You get two.

-Fine. Shoot- he responded smiling with soft eyes.

-How did you get out of that destructive phase?

-Uh, that's a good one. I… I lost my wallet on a bar- he smiled, looking at is plate- It had been a week long of just drinking on a bar, alone. Elena had called every day and I wouldn't pick up, I actually made the bartender pick up once, she was pissed.

-I would've been too.

-Yeah… I had to apologize later…-he cleared his throat and started playing with the fork in the table- it was actually Stefan who got there and took me home. I screamed at him the entire way home and then when we got home and I realized my wallet was missing I lost it. We fought like never before and Stefan ended up storming off. I thought he was never coming back. I thought I fucked up our relationship forever. The thought of losing everyone, even him, made me realize I had to stop.

-What was so important about your wallet?- she questioned trying to change subject, when she realized his temple had changed and his expression had gone sad.

-What is so important about my wallet. See, he found it. And when he brought it back to me it's when we had a healing season, as Caroline calls it.- he said pulling his wallet from his pocket- This is an important thing for me, for many reasons. My dad gave it to me for my fourteenth birthday. It says my name, actually, right here.

He showed his wallet to Bonnie and she took it carefully, passing her fingers on his engraved name on the leather. The very intimate moment was interrupted by the waiter that wanted to clarify something with Damon.

-I'm so sorry to inform you that we don't have enough shrimp for a plate, could we complement it with maybe salmon?- asked the young boy with a bit of fear in his eyes, she could only imagine how many times people drew fits to a question like that.

-No problem.

-Thank you, sir.

-Okay, and what's the other reason you care about this wallet so much?- enquired Bonnie giving the wallet back.

-Well… it has a few pictures in it that are important to me. And you can't see them, or that counts as your second question.

-You're changing the rules.

-You asked a second question and I'm being forgiving because you didn't realize, you should be thankful that I'm making new rules.

-Fine- she responded rolling her eyes- it's time for your first question.

-Did I make a mistake by lying to Tyler? Is he someone you would've liked having something with?

-No. He was nice, but I always knew he had some ulterior motives for being so nice, so I actually tried to be away from him. Like, in social gathering or parties, you know? I never wanted to be in the awkward position of saying "no". So you saved me.

-Great. I knew I was your hero all along. Now, your turn.

-I'm not going to be as light with this one, so if you don't want to answer it's okay.

-Just say it, Bon.

-Why does that gift matter so much? Didn't you and your dad have a rocky relationship?

Damon stayed silent for a bit, still with the wallet on his hand. She thought she had fucked everything up and that he was going to be mad now, but suddenly he smiled.

-You're right. He wasn't as nice to me as he was to Stefan and that had drove a wedge between us, even before out parents died, but after that it got worst. It made me feel like I wasn't worthy of love and the only time my father showed he cared about me was when he gave me this wallet. So it meant the world to me, because I always dreamed of his approval and this represented it.

-Does Stefan know that?

-Yeah. The thing is, I resented Stefan for it and he didn't deserve it. As much as I defended him from others and took care of him from everyone, is how much I felt like I needed to protect him from my issues and me. That's something that we could heal later that day. We talked about everything that night. Our parents, how we coped with losing them, how important you and Caroline were to us through those years. I almost called you afterwards.

-Why didn't you?

-Because I hated myself. I hated what I was doing with my life, Elena was actually saving my company from crushing, because I was too drunk to make decisions. That made it really hard to break up with her, but I knew I had to. I also hated myself for putting her through all that.

-But you guys are in good terms now, right?

-Yeah, she forgave me. Bless her soul. Bless everyone's soul, I've been fucking things up for years and somehow I'm always forgiven.

-Because you realize you messed up. If you hadn't felt remorse or acted like you were sorry I would've never forgiven you.

They were looking at each other when the plates came and they were once again interrupted by the waiter.

-Everything okay?- he asked after putting the food on the table.

-Yes, thank you- responded Damon, looking at her with a secretive smile, one that read "can you believe this guy, interrupting us again?"

-Thanks- she said smiling the same way.

-Oki doki. Enough with my drama. I want to know about your drama. You've had a patient die, right? How was that like?

-Unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It's happened three times now. First time I was just starting residency, of course I don't make the decisions, so everyone kept telling me it wasn't my fault and that the doctor on charge should feel the blame, and he didn't because that's how these things work, but I couldn't sleep in days. I blamed myself for not doing anything, even when I wasn't allowed to do anything.

-It's a human thing to do, to blame yourself.

-Yeah. I replayed the moment his heart stopped beating and how the doctor was performing CPR and I just stood there and watched. How her wife reacted when we told her the news. How I couldn't do anything for them… it fucked me up for a few weeks.

-And the second time?

-I tried to do stuff this time, help with the CPR, help with the defibrillator, hug the loved one that we gave the bad news to. I tried everything I regretted not doing the first time around and it was still hard. It still kept me up at night and gave me nightmares for not being capable of saving them. I get why doctors numb themselves now, I tried the third time around, but it didn't work. I understand why they do it but I can't figure out how.

-That must be awful.

-It is. But it's so great when you can save someone, Damon. When they leave with a smile on their faces and you tell their loved ones that they'll be coming home. It's… indescribable.

He looked at her with that smile that she loved and she couldn't help but to smile as well, looking at her plate so she wouldn't swoon over him.

-Do you remember that you showed me a movie once, when we were teenagers, about two kids who were neighbors and I think it was set like in the sixties or seventies and she was crazy for him and he thought she was crazy, until he fell for her at the end?

-Flipped?

-Yeah. That one. I thought it was cute, but I could never get over what the grandpa told the blonde boy. The thing about finding someone who was iridescent and how after that, nothing could ever compare.

-Yes. I loved that line.

-I've been kind of living by that ever since. Thinking about peopel that can be iridescent or moments that are iridescence by themselves. To me, it feels like that's a good iridescent moment, when you save a life and you get to tell the person that loved them that they're alright.

Bonnie smiled, she had definitely rubbed off on him, with her many literary words and positive outlook and referencing movies. And he looked adorable, talking about it like it was nothing but with a red tint in his face.

-It is. Thank you, for giving a word for it.

-You're welcome, witchy.

-Okay. I'm going all out with the last one and you don't have to answer if you don't want to- she started feeling her face on fire and unable to look at him in the eyes- but… maybe you could tell me…when did you start to have feelings for me?- she ended whispering.

He was silent for a while and she wondered if this time he'd take the escape route she had laid out for him, but he cleared his throat before drinking from his glass of water and she managed to peek a look at him. It seemed like he had just made a decision, one she had no idea what it was about.

-That's a good third question. I think it started when I was fifteen.

-Really?

-Yeah. After my parents died we got very close and I loved that you treated me different than the other kids, like a regular kid and not an orphan. We were already best friends and I always felt like you belonged next to me, as if all of my adventures had to have you in them, but after all the shit that went down, you were the only untouched thing that remained in my life. Even my relationship with Stefan changed, but we kept on riding our bikes and talking about UFOs and conspiracy theories.

-I remember that- she contributed to make him feel more at ease.

-I don't know when it started but I know that I just wanted to make you smile. I remember thinking that my day at school was sucking, but if I could see you afterwards and make you smile it was all worth it.

He looked at her with restraint in his eyes, she knew he didn't want to embarrass himself, but she also knew that he wanted for her to know this stuff and he was checking in to see if she was okay with it or if she wanted to run away calling him "creep".

-That's… really sweet. How could I've been so blind?

-We were stupid kids. I was blind too, I thought you didn't feel anything more than friendship. I didn't say anything about my feelings to anyone. But when I bought my car I loved taking you everywhere, even just take you to the mall to see Caroline would make my day, because we'd ride together and we'd sing at the top of our lungs and you'd laugh so hard at my pitched voice. I loved that.

-That's what I loved the most too. Just hanging out and having fun.

-So, should we blast some music in the way back to Mystic Falls?

-Hell yeah.

They finished eating and started talking about lighter topics, like their ex-classmates and some stories they had forgotten. Bonnie was laughing so much by the time they finished that she was crying. Damon paid and they walked together to the car, feeling much lighter and happier than when they came in.

-Remember that time Klaus tried to kiss Caroline and Stefan hit him in the face?-asked Damon with a huge smile on his face.

-Oh, God. Yes, they both ended up in detention for a month.

-Caroline loved the attention it gave her.

-And Valerie got so mad that Stefan defended her.

-High school was crazy…

-What's crazy is that we're all here again. I mean, even Valerie. She disappeared and broke Stefan's heart and now she's coming to the wedding…if there is a wedding

-There is going to be one.

As if that conversation was some cue, Bonnie's phone started ringing and the name on the screen was "Care".

-We'll see about that. Hey Care.

-Hey Bonnie, everything okay?

-Yes, that's what I want to know- she said leaning on Damon's car.

-Well… things are alright. I'm telling you everything when you get here, Stefan wants to tell you too, I know it's a lot, because I'm still processing too, but we need to do one last rehearsal before tomorrow, do you think you and Damon can make it to the dance studio in half an hour?

Bonnie looked at Damon, standing by her side with his back to the car. She knew he was nervous and that he'd be more than relieved to go see them and dance.

-Yes, we can make it in half an hour.

-Great. See you there! I gotta call everyone else.

-Okay, just tell me something. Are you okay? Do you want to do this or do you feel pressured now because you're so close to the wedding?

-I want to marry this idiot, but it turns out that things are much more complicated than I knew. You'll see in a few hours. Thank you for caring for me.

-Always. See you soon.

-Bye!

-Don't want to go to the wedding or what?- asked Damon a bit mad.

-Of course I do! But I want to make sure that it's something that she's sure about. I don't want for them to divorce in a year.

He looked at her for too long without saying anything and she could see the angriness dissipate from his eyes and suddenly something else was there, something warmer.

-Has anyone told you that you look cute when you're defending your posture?

-No. Do you want to be the first one?- she didn't know where this new confidence came from, but she was loving it.

-You look extremely cute when you're mad and when you're defending your posture. And when you get flustered.

-That's why you like to do it so much? Getting me flustered, I mean.

-Yeah- he smiled wryly and one of his hands took her hair off her face and behind her ear.

She felt like there was nothing left to say and a spell fell on both of them, making them unaware of their surroundings, so as anyone would've expected, they both jumped from the sound of a hornby their side, apparently, someone wanted to park there.

-We should get into the car.

-No, there's plenty of spaces for him to park, he's an asshole. I'm only going to do this to get back at him.

-Do what?- she asked before Damon pulling her onto him and kissing her, so passionately, that she once again forgot where she was. She kissed him back with as much passion as she had and suddenly she could feel her back pressed against the car and him pressed against her.

It was everything she ever wanted and more and her hands made her way up his hair and pulled his head closer to her. She needed to be closer, after all this time waiting for this, her body was finally all nerve endings and no common sense.

Suddenly the horn sounded again and she couldn't help but to jump. Damon pulled her face away from her and they looked at each other confused but also, with the impulse of doing that again written all over their eyes.

-Can you two move?!- screamed the guy in the car.

-Can you park somewhere else?- asked Damon obviously mad, looking at the guy, but still with his body trapping her against the car.

-Damon, let's just go- she said before breathing deep, trying to make sense of what was happening.

-Fine- he whispered looking back at her and slowly separating himself from her, looking at her eyes the whole time, with a secret warning in his eyes. She felt like any sudden movement from her would make him go right back to the place he was second ago. And she wasn't sure why that would be such a bad thing.

The horn sounded again and she remembered they were making a scene.

He finally started walking towards the driver seat and she fanned her face with her hand before getting inside of the car.

They were in silence for a few minutes, while Damon flipped off the guy on the parking lot and then the fog finally escaped her brain and the fact that her and Damon had actually kissed finally dawned on her. Wow. And it was so… heated? Was it really just to piss the guy off and why would he kiss her just to spite the guy? That's crazy. That was crazy and her lips still felt warm and wet from his kiss.

She didn't know what to say, but after all that happened she kind of felt like she needed to address it and finally ask him if he had feelings for her still. But how? The questions were done now. Unless, they weren't.

-Damon?

-Yes?

-How do you feel about a few more questions while we get to the dance rehearsal?

-That's… a good idea. I'd like to start, though.

-Okay.

She didn't know why her heart was racing so fast, as if she suspected what his question was. But she had no clue, she just hoped he wasn't going to ask her about that kiss because she had no idea what to say about it.

-When did you start having a crush on me?

Well, that took an unexpected turn. He wanted to talk about the past again?

-I don't think there was a moment that made me realize I had feelings for you. I know I always thought you were so cute and cool.

-Because I was.

-Yeah- she laughed a bit, maybe this question was a good one to getting her to open up and relax- and you were there for me when the worst time of my life came and I was there for you. I don't know how it happened but before I even realized I had a crush on you I just… I just felt like… we were each other's? Not in a possessive or creepy way. But like… we were in each other's life for something, for a reason.

-Like we were meant to be partners? Yeah, I felt that too. We clicked so well and your humor was like mine and you could put up with me and I just knew.

-Exactly! It's like we had met each other before, maybe in another life. – she smiled, this was why he kept calling her witchy, she believed in that kind of stuff while growing up- And then, we grew up and girls and boys were not supposed to be friends, because everyone was dating their friends and we said we were above it, because we were just platonic best friends. I felt sick to my stomach for lying to you about it.

-Really?

-Yeah. I used to tell you everything except how much I liked you. It made me feel so guilty… I think I remember something, though. I remember once, when you were fifteen and I was fourteen, you had gone to spend a month to Seattle with Jo and Ric and we saw each other again for the first time on the school and I saw you on the hallway… It was… very much like a movie.

She didn't want to tell him that her first thought was "He's so hot" and then "I'm gonna marry him someday". She was getting flustered just with thinking about it, she wasn't telling him.

-What do you mean it was like a movie?

-You were getting into the hallway and I saw you from my locker and… like… everything disappeared. And then you ran to me and you hugged me and it felt like my husband came back from the war or something.

-I remember you turned red as soon as you saw me. I bet you thought I looked very sexy.

-Yeah, right.

-I don't have any problem admitting that when I saw you with that dress I nearly fainted. I still remember it, very long and flowy and purple. You had a white vest on top of it, the fashionista of the school.

-Shut up. How do you remember that?

-It's on my category of iridescent moments.

-You thought of me as iridescent?

-I still do.

Her stomach was filled with butterflies and she knew this was the time to ask him about the kiss, her rational side thought it wasn't a good idea because if it didn't go well they still had to rehearse the dance and everything, but she was so done with her rational side.

-I need to ask you something.

-You need to make it quick, because we're almost there.

-They can wait.

-Alright. Ask away.

-Did you really just kissed me to piss off that guy?- she asked very quickly and without looking at him, still scared but finally asking what she really wanted to.

-Wow. I wasn't expecting that.

-You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

-You say that every single time and I end up answering every single time.

-So?- she was starting to hesitate, he wasn't being as upfront as before. Was she misinterpreting stuff? Did her dream not mean anything?

-Are you sure you want to discuss this now?

-Why wouldn't I?

-Because it's a long discussion.

-What do you mean?

They were two blocks away from the dance studio and Damon parked in front of a random house and looked at her very intensely.

-I mean that…you kissed me back- she swallowed before nodding and he pulled his seatbelt off and pushed himself closer to her.- And you seemed really into it.

-Can you answer what I asked?- she inquired with her face on fire and her heart racing.

-Of course. I… I kissed you because I wanted to. And you wanted me to. Right?

-Yes.

-And you want me to do it again.

-Yes.

She almost couldn't finish saying it before he pulled her close and smashed his lips with hers. His hand were cupping her face, a very tender gesture contrasting how passionate and fast he was kissing her, but she wasn't complaining, her hands were on his hair and neck and as much as she needed some air, she also needed him.

They pulled back for air, but Damon started kissing her cheeks, slower this time and somehow that turned her on more than the fast-paced kiss still lingering on her lips.

-I've been wanting to do this for a long time.

-Then why didn't you?

-Because I wasn't sure that that's what you wanted.

She was about to scream at him about how wrong he was when Damon's phone started ringing. He groaned, he had been taken back to the real world as she had, and she remembered they had a place to be at.

-You should pick it up.

-I know, this is why I wanted to discuss this later, but you needed it now. Hello?- he answered all grumpy and adorable, making her smile wide.- Yes, we're almost there. Okay.

-They're waiting for us?

-Yes. There's no time for us to be teenagers in my car.

-Is that something you wanted?

-Are you kidding me? Bonnie you were my crush when were teenagers. I had many, many dreams about this- he said turning on the car.

-That's a lot of honesty.

-You asked, witchy.

She smiled and looked at herself oh the mirror in the passenger seat, trying to hide any trace of them being teenagers on his car. He was right, this was pretty much was she daydreamt about when they were teens and the hormones were very active.

-Do I look good?

-You look flawless.

-I'm serious, Damon.

-So am I. They won't be able to tell we were getting naughty on my car.

-Stop that! I don't want for them no know it.

-Why not?

-I'm not Lexi, I like to keep stuff to myself. And we have stuff to talk about before anything more happens.

-What do you need to talk about?

They got to the dance studio and Stefan was outside waiting for them, so they couldn't keep talking.

-We'll talk later- she whispered before exiting the car to say hi to her friend.

-Hi Bonnie- said Stefan without looking at her, still very mortified.

-Hi Stefan, I heard you managed to keep the festivities going.

-Bonnie, there's a lot we need to talk about, which is why I was waiting here for you. I want to take you home, to eat something after the rehearsal and tell you everything. Is that okay?

Damon elbowed her and she jerked her face towards him, very angry, but his face was very calmed and his eyes were saying "please take his offer, it'll be worth it". So she believed him.

-Fine. But you'll have to order sushi and the good kind.

-Of course- he answered smiling, visibly less uncomfortable.

-Okay, let's go, Blondie's waiting- Damon remembered them.

* * *

After dancing the whole choreography twice, they finally went to the Salvatore house, to have some sushi and a very serious conversation.

-Are you nervous?- asked Damon when they got into the car.

-No, I just want to know what's going on.

-And after that we can have our conversation right?

-Yes, Damon. You can take me home in your car and we can talk about what happened.

-And what will happen again, I presume.

-You're such and idiot- she murmured shaking her hand with the brightest smile ever.

-And that's why you want to kiss me.

-Again: idiot.

She stayed quiet for a bit, marveling at the fact that they were finally talking about their feelings and that he wanted to kiss her as much as she wanted to kiss him. And maybe some other stuff as well. But was it purely physical? Or did he just want to get it out of his system? Did he actually had feelings for her or he just wanted a one-night stand?

-I can see you're starting to get nervous, please stop overthinking.

-I'm not overthinking.

-You are. Because that's what you do. Relax.

They got to the house and Caroline was the one waiting outside this time, making Damon go stiff.

-I know what you did- she said as soon as they got out of the car.

-At the time it seemed like a good idea.

-It was the worst idea you could've had. So tomorrow, I'm gonna be relaxed and you're going to be stressed. You're working with Nora to make sure everything's in place. And it better be.

Caroline wasn't messing around, she really was letting it all in Damon's hands, which was the worst kind of punishment, honestly, because she knew exactly how she wanted things, and he had to deliver.

-Okay. Can Bon Bon help me, though? She knows you way better, in case there's something that needs to be changed.

-I said everything has to go according to plan. No changes. But, you can borrow her for a bit in the morning, she needs to come get glammed up with me later.

-Okay- he agreed bowing his head.

-Fine, let's get inside, Stefan's dying of anxiety.

They walked inside and Bonnie was feeling weird, this was too formal and just for her, all of them knew what had happened, so she felt like they all needed to stop it with the drama.

-Why don't we all just relax. I'm the only one who doesn't know, but you all look so somber.

-It's because it's not the happiest of topics.

-What do you mean, Care?

-Let Stefan tell you.

She sat on the couch and Damon served himself some bourbon behind her, while Stefan and Caroline were sitting on the couch in front of her.

-Okay, thanks for coming Bonnie. I know this is too weird and I should've said this before but I was trying to process it all.

-Something bad happened?

He stood up and walked around the room for a while, until finally facing Damon, behind her fiancé, still sited on the couch.

-Yeah. I… I am a father, Bonnie.

Of all the things Bonnie thought he could have said that's the last one she would've expected. No, not even the last one because she would've never in a million years expect for him to say those words.

-I'm sorry, what?

-Yeah… I thought the same thing. Apparently, I got Valerie pregnant when we were teenagers and when her parents found out they took her back to England, you know she was here with her aunt. She said she never wanted for me to worry about her parents coming to force me to marry her, so she never told anyone it was mine. She told her aunt we had broken up and that she had had a one-night stand with someone she didn't remember the name of.

-I… this is insane.

-Of course, when she told me a few months ago I told her I needed proof. She said she didn't want anything from me, but she wanted for our child to get to know me, so I asked for a paternity test and then it came back and it was true. I didn't know what to do or how to act and I somehow told her I wanted for him to be at my wedding and she thought I invited her and her husband too and it all got… just… messy.

-And I wasn't the best adviser.

-You weren't brother. But Care's forgiven me and I have her blessing for having them there tomorrow and, she gets to meet him too.

-It's a he?

-Yeah. His name's Lucas. I met him the morning of the rehearsal dinner.- she could see his eyes getting watery and his nose red- I never thought something like this could've happen to me… to us. But here we are. I have a son I never knew about.

Caroline stood up and hugged Stefan and as much as Bonnie wanted to do the same she felt like she was glued to the sofa. Her mouth was still open and she had so many questions.

-Why didn't she contact you before? Why now?

-She said she decided to do it when she realized I wanted to work on the same Buffet as her and then she didn't want to tell me over the phone so she had to plan for the trip.

-And she decided to stay here in Mystic Falls- said Caroline, obviously hating Stefan's ex.

-Yeah. I'm so sorry, honey. I need to get to know him.

-I know this isn't your fault. She's just… I'm sorry. I'm still so mad at her for hiding it for so long.

-How old is he?- asked Bonnie, still with her mind going a thousand miles a second.

-He's almost eight. The dates match.

-He's so big.

-He is.

There was a silence, no one knew what to do or how to act, this were big news. This was a huge change in Caroline's and Stefan's life, but they still loved each other and they were willing to make it work.

-I don't know what to say Stefan, but I think it's remarkable that you want to be in your kid's life and that Caroline is there for you, every step of the way. I love you guys and I'll help you with anything you need- offered Bonnie finally being able to stand up and walking up to Stefan to hug him tight.

-Like a babysitter-contributed Damon.

-Anything, guys. But I gotta say, you should've been more upfront about it.

-Yeah, I know. I just knew I had to tell Caroline it had to be before we got married and Damon came in with his plan and as much as I knew it wasn't going to work I went with it because I'm a coward.

-You are- agreed Caroline while smiling to her fiancé when someone ringed the bell and Damon went to open the door.

-Sushi's here- he screamed from the door and then paid for everything.

They ate in silence at first, but after a few minutes they eased into jokes and a conversation about all he had to do to make up for the time they spent apart.

And as time went by, Bonnie knew she was closer to her conversation with Damon and as much as she didn't want to overthink it, she also knew that if she let herself go, they were going to go a lot further than just kissing that night.

It wasn't like she opposed to it, actually she was hungry for him, but she also wanted to be sure that he wasn't in it just for the physicality of it, that he had feelings for her. She didn't want to hurt his feelings by implying that he was just a player, though.

But if he was? His voice interrupted her thoughts, making her forget entirely what she was thinking about.

-Okay, Bonnie. It's time to take you home, we have a lot to do tomorrow morning- he said with a smile that could only be described as a hunter with a secure prey.

Oh, and how she was enjoying being his prey.

* * *

Hi guys! So I decided to go with it and make it a little bit longer, so you have more of this fic for a few more weeks. Hopefully you like this chapter, it's longer than the last one, because I wanted to make things even and I wanted for them to know more about each other.

Oh, and the elephant in the room: they finally kissed! Were you guys expecting for it to be this chapter? And what do you think will happen on the next one?

Also, were you expecting that to be the reason Stefan invited Valerie? Did you notice that he said he needed three more seats, but Valerie only arrived with one guy? I thought maybe someone would figure it out, but no one commented on it on the reviews, I know it's a very used troop, but I also know that everyone writes about Valerie never having the kid and I thought we could maybe do something with it and have Stefan find out he's a father years later.

I feel like this chapter had a lot, but not at the same time? Let me know what you think and if you were expecting this! I also put a few gifs on the tumblr that inspired me on this chapter, in case you'd like to see them.

Anyways, happy reading :)


	15. Chapter 15

XV. Horny teenagers

They were on the car and Bonnie was so nervous she couldn't really say anything. Her hands were shaking and her lips trembling. Also, there was an uncontrollable heat in between her legs. She didn't know what she'd do if he wanted to come over, or actually, she did but she wasn't sure that it was the best choice for her.

-Are you okay there, Bon Bon?- spoke Damon, with concern in his voice.

-Yeah…

-You don't sound so sure.

-That's 'cuz I'm not.

-We don't have to do anything you don't want us to do.

But that was the problem, she wanted it like she'd never want anything before. She had been waiting for something like this to happen to her since she was fourteen and she had her first wet dream about him. She _really_ wanted it. But she was also scared that this was all he wanted from her.

He arrived at her house and they remained silent and without looking at each other for a few seconds.

-Damon… I…

-I'm sorry if I'm moving too quickly- he interrupted her, finally looking at her face.

-What do you mean?

-I mean… you seem really scared and that's the last thing I want you to feel. I want you to want me the way I want you.

-I do- she whispered, without being brave enough to look him in the eye- but… - she struggled with the words- do you…? I mean…

-Bonnie, breathe.

-Is this just a onetime thing?

He looked at her puzzled for a few minutes, but then he smiled wryly, making her blush.

-I was planning on a three-time thing tonight, you know, to make up for lost time.

-Damon! I'm serious!- she said hitting him in the arm, with her face on fire.

-I am too! I've been dreaming about this since I was a teenager, Bonnie.

-But that's what I mean. I need to know if this is just to fulfill your teenage fantasy or… you know…- she shrugged trying to look like she was okay either way, but failed miserably- you're in it for the long run.

She looked at Damon with all the bravery she had and she could see the exact moment when his eyes went from playful to softly admiring her. His hand went up to her cheek and he moved closer to her.

-I'm in this for the longest run, Bonnie Bennet. I want to wake up tomorrow next to you, holding you tight and do it again and then on the wedding we can sneak out the back to do it again in the bathroom. And I want to dance with you the whole reception and come back here with you and do it again. And fall sleep next to you and make you breakfast and stay in bed the whole day, hopefully naked.

-And when you go back to New York?- she whispered leaning on his hand.

-I'm pretty sure I told you I'm planning on moving back here- she closed her eyes because his thumb was moving across her face and that was the most relaxing thing in the world right now- it may happen sooner than I planned on, now that we're finally on the same page.

-Are you really moving back here? What about your life in New York?

-It doesn't have you in it. I hate it- she opened her eyes and he was smiling at her, with that amazing smile she was so in love with.

-I hate it too- he smiled brighter and she did too before leaning to feel his lips on hers again.

This time it was so much different than the times before. There was no rush, no accumulated tension, not years of holding back making them desperate. This time it was slow, filled with feelings of yearning. She found herself trying to engrave this moment on her brain, to feel his lips and trying to memorize the way they moved and felt.

Her hands flied up to his neck and pushed him closer, because she needed to feel him as close as humanly possible. She needed to feel the way his hair felt in between her fingers, the way his tongue moved around her mouth, the way his hands felt against her skin.

They kissed for so long that when they separated she felt a bit dizzy and hot.

-It's okay if you don't me to stay tonight.

-But I do.

He grinned and pull her closer again, this time with more passion, more heat and definitely more movements. His hands moved up and down her back, his tongue moved deliciously on her mouth and then his lips started moving across her neck, making her feel even more dizzy and hot.

-Are you sure?- he asked still leaving wet kisses on her neck.

-Yes, let's get inside.

He bit her softly before getting out of the car and walking up to her door, she unfastened her seatbelt and he was already opening her door. He was fast.

-My lady- he said offering his hand to her and she smiled nervous and excited.

They kissed again when she was finally out of the car, needing to be closer to each other and this time it was even hotter than before, because he pressed her against the car and she could feel every curve of his body, and boy did she liked a certain curve she felt.

She pushed him when she heard a car coming close and she realized where they were.

-Let's get inside, we're acting like horny teenagers.

-We are horny and we've been waiting for this since we were teenagers, so I think it's appropriate.

-Shut up and walk.

-Uh, I love it when you're bossy. It's hot.

She smiled and grabbed him by the arm to walk behind her, but once they were inside, he was everywhere but behind her. But she wasn't complaining. Especially since he kept his word and three was the magic number.

* * *

The next morning the first thing she heard when she woke up was "Good morning, beautiful" and that was enough to make her open her eyes instantly.

-It wasn't a dream?

-Hell no. – he answered rubbing his eyes before stretching, looking like a fucking model -It kind of felt like it, not gonna lie.

-It still pretty much feels like it.

-Yeah- he had that smile and she couldn't help but to kiss him, in the most natural way, like she had done it a thousand times before.

-Damn, what a great way to wake up- he whispered on her lips before kissing her again.

-It really is. But I remember you promised breakfast.

-I promised breakfast for tomorrow. We have to be all over the wedding today, witchy. We're gonna have to settle for Starbucks on the way to the venue.

-Argh, you're right. Fine, let me go take a shower and then we can be on our way.

-Mmmm… but I need to shower too. And you know, we're using too much water so the poor polar bears are dying.

-That's too cheesy, just jump on the shower with me and shut up.

-Yes, ma'am.- he said saluting her, making her roll her eyes. It still couldn't erase the glorious smile she had.

And after another amazing sex session on the shower they got dressed and went to the venue to supervise that everything went the way Caroline wanted it to.

Bonnie felt like she needed to tell her best friend what was going on between her and the best man, but today was Caroline's day and she had so much more to worry about, so, she decided they were going to tell her when she came back from the honey moon, they deserved to have a calm, nice, worry-free vacation.

-Hey, Damon- she called when they got on the car with their coffees and muffins.

-Yes, witchy?

-I think we shouldn't tell the guys just yet.

-Why?- his face kind of changed and she realized she might of hurt him.

-Because they have enough on their plates already. With the wedding and the new kid and Valerie being there. I think Caroline needs the rest of her life to stay on a status quo for now.

-Okay. I get it.

He was still very much silent and she didn't know what that was all about. She wanted to confront him, but she also didn't want another crazy fight with him like they used to. Which made her think about how healthy their relationship would be. Was it worth it to be with someone who she had so much love for if it was an unhealthy relationship?

By the time they got to the venue she had realized that she needed to talk things out to find out if they worked well or not, but the window for talking had closed and they needed to start working.

Once they got inside, they could see Nora already moving stuff around and talking to people to change stuff, so a few minutes in Bonnie was already running around, trying to keep everything in order so Caroline wouldn't freak out. She could feel every muscle in her body while moving chairs and stuff around, she had really exercised a lot the night before.

Damon was helping too, but he didn't seem to feel sore by any means. He was working side by side with her and giving solutions to minor problems way calmer than she could.

-I don't know how you do it. Every time Nora says there's a problem I freak out- she whispered to him on a moment where they could actually breathe and talk.

-Well, I own a company, Bonnie. There's always little fires to put out. This is easy- he said making a gesture with his hand, like it was nothing, but she could see that he was proud of himself.

-I'm really proud of you, Damon- she whispered. She couldn't help herself, he had lost his parents, put himself together and started a company on his own, making a lot of profit in just two years.

He seemed surprised by this. His pale cheeks seemed to have taken some color and he couldn't help but to smile genuinely.

-Thank you- he whispered back, but couldn't gather to courage to look at her in the eyes, she smiled brightly too, feeling all giddy inside, because if he could still smile like that when he was down or mad at her, then maybe they'd be okay.

-All right, stop swooning over me, witchy. We have a wedding to put together.

-You're right. We do. But I wasn't doing shit.

-You're right. You should start doing something before blondie realizes she doesn't need both of us.

-But you wanted me to be here.

-I thought you'd be more useful, but well, what can you do. You're beautiful but useless on these kind of situations.

She smiled and walked away from him to help with some decorations, but she could feel his eyes following her and when she finally looked back, he was in fact in the same place she left him and with a very weird look in his face. He seemed scared and a little disappointed, but when he realized she was analyzing him, he put a strong façade again and started helping on his own.

Weird.

* * *

Damon sent her home on an uber, so she could get ready for the wedding, while he checked up the last minute details and she couldn't help but to feel disappointed that they didn't get to talk before the wedding. But the show had to go on, so she got home and showered again, put on make-up and then put the dress on.

She was finishing everything when a knock on her front door distracted her and she went to open the door while putting on her earrings. And lo and behold, there was Damon.

-Hey, Blondie asked me to pick you up. We're supposed to get to the ceremony together.

-Oh, okay. I just need to put my shoes on, you can sit on the living room while I go pick them up.

-Okay.

She talked to herself all the way to her room about being brave and tackling the issue head on and when she got to the living room, she could see Damon having a similar conversation with himself in his mind.

-It's everything okay?

-Peachy.

-I need to talk to you about something.

-Can it be in the car? We're kind of late.

-Okay.

He offered his arm to help her walk and she happily took it, because the heels were a little bit too high for her preference, but all the girls were wearing the same shoes so she had to compromise. He opened the door for her and she inhaled deeply while he walked over to his side and as soon as he got into the car he talked to her.

-I know what you want to talk about.

-What?

-You want us to pretend like we aren't together while we're on the wedding and I get it. You don't want for anyone to pry on or alert Blondie. It's okay.

-I… that wasn't it. I wanted to know why you're acting the way you are.

-What way?

-Like it bothered you that I said we shouldn't tell everyone right away.

-It didn't. I should've expected it.

-Why?

-Because you're Bonnie. You hate being the center of attention and I screwed up the other day by fighting with Enzo putting you in the highlight. I'm an idiot, I get it.

-Damon… that's not it. I don't care about what happened the other day, because there has been so much going on the last couple of days that I totally forgot about you and Enzo. I just want to be there for Caroline one hundred percent. And it really doesn't matter when we tell everyone, because it's going to be a huge thing for everyone either way. We'll be the center of attention for months to come, so I already made peace with it.

-Are you sure? Aren't you rethinking getting involved with me?

-Are you crazy? I love…-was she about to say you? She stopped herself and tried to play it cool by talking fast, but she knew that he noticed it- spending time with you. I… I don't care if everyone in this town talks about us, because I think that it's worth it. I think you're worth it.

-I wanna kiss you so bad right now, but there's nowhere to park.

-And you can't because you'll ruin my make-up. Maybe in the reception we can sneak out the back and kiss a little bit.

-Or maybe more than just kissing?

-Good luck getting my spandex off.

He laughed and his whole mood changed. He seemed lighter and she was so happy that they could finally put it all behind them and have a good time.

But as soon as they got to the venue she saw Stefan talking to a kid and Valerie, and she knew that it wasn't going to be such a good time for them, because they needed to make sure it was one for the bride.

They got off the car and Damon offered his arm once again.

-Hey, I forgot to tell you, you look gorgeous- he whispered, making sure no one could listen but her.

-Thank you. You look pretty handsome as well.

-As usual.

She smiled and she could feel her face on fire, but there was a little of excitement running through her veins, the idea of sneaking out and whispering sweet things had her giddy and expectant of the day ahead.

-Hey guys!

-Hey Stefan, how's everything going?

-Great. The girls told me to ask you to go to the back of the venue, they're helping Caroline with the final touches.

-Great, I'll see you guys in a few minutes.

She wanted to kiss Damon so bad before she left, but she needed to keep a low profile, so she just smiled at him and started walking to her best friend's room.

The place looked incredible and she found the room pretty soon after she walked in, because she could hear the screams from the girls.

-Push! Push! Push!- there was a choir of female voices screaming, making her smile, Caroline probably had a corset and they were helping her get it tight.

-What's going on?- she asked walking into the room.

-Finally! I need you to take my hands while Rebekah tortures me- screamed the blonde already letting go of Lexi's hands and offering them to her.

-Okay, I'm sorry I'm not enough for you.

-Lexi, it's just that Bonnie gives me strength.

-And I don't? You're such a bitch.

-IT'S MY WEDDING DAY. I DECIDE WHO'S TAKING WHO'S HANDS.

Everyone fell silent and Bonnie rushed to her friend's side.

-It's all good, you need to breathe, okay? I'm right here for you.

-Thank you, Bon.

-Okay, give me your hands. Rebekah, do your thing.

Caroline squeezed her hands so much, she could see the tips of her fingers turning purple, but she let her do it without saying a word.

-It's done!- shouted Rebekah and falling to her seat dramatically- it was really hard, not gonna lie.

-I'm sorry, I gained a few pounds the last week.

-Caroline you look amazing! Your only mistake was buying such a small dress, only a preteen would fit inside this thing comfortably.

-True- said Lexi lifting up her champagne glass.

-You're right. I always make stupid decisions.

She could see her friend wanted to talk to her alone, she was sad and that was no way to have a wedding.

-Girls, could you give us a few minutes?

-Why can't we hear the tea? I want to know what you're talking about.

-I'll tell you later, Lexi, just let me speak to her alone, okay?

-Fine.

The girls walked out and Bonnie hugged her best friend tighter than the dress on her was.

-Tell me what's on your mind.

-Am I doing something crazy by marrying him?- she asked Bonnie pulling away, to look at her in the eyes.

-Why do you think that?

-Because I've been with him for years and he still managed to hide something as big as this from me. How can I trust him?

-Well… that's a hard question. There's no guarantee that he'll never ever hide something from you again. I think that you used to feel that way because Stefan's such an upfront person, but you should never feel like you know someone a hundred percent and that they're never going to surprise you with something. That's the whole thing with marriage, you're taking a gamble on someone. And you know, people make mistakes.

-But how… I just don't know how I feel about that.

-Do you think Stefan will ever hide something like this to you again?

-I hope not. And he knows that I'm walking away if he ever does something as stupid.

-Do you love him?

-I do. I always have.

-And are you certain that he loves you?

-He seems to. I mean… I think he does- she whispered with her cheeks flushed- he has showed me he does since he confessed what really happened.

-Then you should be happy you're marrying someone who makes you feel loved and happy. Of course trust is a huge thing, but this is the first time he's done something as stupid in eight years and we know him, it was a very weird and dramatic situation and he didn't know how to act, but I'm pretty sure that next time he'll know how to proceed.

-I hope there's no next time, I can't have any more stepsons. Oh God. I have a stepson.

-Caroline, if you're freaking out so badly, maybe you guys shouldn't get married. Maybe you need some time.

-I need to talk to him.

-Now?

-Yes, get him here. Blindfolded. We need to talk but he can't see me in the dress.

-Okay.

Bonnie walked as fast as she could to Stefan, those shoes were not made for a woman in a hurry. He was talking to Damon and they seemed chipper. Boy, he had no idea what was about to happen.

-Bonnie?- said Damon when he say her coming over.

-Caroline wants to see Stefan.

Both of their faces went white. It was certainly something they all feared after the Valerie thing went down, Stefan was so afraid that he froze for a bit and she knew he was just picturing himself being left at the altar.

-What for?- asked Damon snapping his brother out.

-I can't see her with the dress.

-She wants me to blindfold you, I have no idea where I'm getting one of those now.

-We can use my handkerchief. I can iron it afterwards.

-Great, thanks.

The three of them walked to the room and outside of it Bonnie blindfolded him with her hands shaking, she was so nervous she could pass out. But she held it together and knocked on the door.

-Who is it?

-It's us.

-Come on in.

Bonnie opened the door and helped Stefan to walk close to her bride, who was wearing a robe. Bonnie's heart was beating fast and she didn't know what to do, but she walked one step backwards and Caroline looked at her with a plea in her eyes. "Please stay", so Bonnie walked to the door, closed it, but stayed inside.

-Care, what's going on?

-I'm afraid, Stefan.

He stayed silent for a few minutes and Bonnie felt so awkward, she just wanted to go out, but she knew her friend needed her.

-I know. I'm so sorry for putting you through something like this.

-How do I know you'll never hide something as big as this again?

-Because I know now that I could lose you that way. And there's nothing in this world that terrifies me more than that.

-Then why did you do it? Why didn't you lean on me on something as difficult as this?

-Because I'm an idiot. I didn't know what to do, how to act. I thought that I'd lose you either way. I wanted to postpone it. I've lived years by your side and that still felt like nothing, I wanted to have more days with you. More mornings on bed, falling sleep with your hair in my face. I… I was stalling.

-Why didn't you believe I could take it?

-Because it's too much, Care. I know I don't deserve you. I know that no matter what I do, I'll never be enough for you and this just sets me back even more.

-What are you talking about Stefan?

-I'm talking about you being too good for me, for this town actually. I'm talking about being aware that you could go to the big city and be so successful and I'm pushing you back by locking you here in this small town with me. I'm not as good as you, Care. I can't go to the big city and give you the life that you deserve.

-First of all, I don't need you to give me the life that I deserve. I can do that for myself. Second of all, I chose to stay here with you, because I don't want to be a big famous reporter. I'm happy in this small town and I'm happy with you.

-Are you sure you don't want the glamour? You'd look amazing on red carpets- he said joked sadly. Bonnie felt like a fly on the wall, because neither of her friends were paying attention to her.

-I'd look amazing anywhere. I don't need that validation. I need to be sure that the man I'm marrying will be honest to me for the rest of his life.

-I will, of course I will.

-And you need to stop feeling like I'm some kind of goddess who you're so below of. You're the most amazing lawyer I know and you'd be damn successful in the big city if you wanted to go there. I don't want you to feel this insecure about yourself, you're amazing. That's why I'm with you.

-Not because you like my last name?- he asked a little less sad, but still pretty down.

-No- she said walking closer to him- although it is a plus.

She smiled and kissed him, making Bonnie turn around. She was starting to think that maybe it was a good idea to walk out.

-I'm so sorry, Care. If you don't want to get married today I get it. I'll gain your trust again and we can do it then.

-Are you crazy? Everyone's already here and I already put on my corset on. But you're making it up to me on our honeymoon.

-Of course, we're doing all inclusive.

-Great. Bonnie, please take him outside, so we can fix my make-up and get married already.

-Bonnie was still here?

-I needed her here.

-Mm… I don't want you to think that I'm always that whiny, Bon.

-Don't worry. You've seen me at my worst and now I have too. Let's go outside- she stated taking his arm and taking him out of the room.

-I love you Care!- he screamed before going outside.

-Is that a good or a bad sign?- asked Damon looking very worried.

-Good, crisis averted. Now, I need to help Care with the make-up and we're good to start the wedding.

-Great. Let's take this off of you. Dude, you wet my handkerchief!

-I'm sorry, I thought she was leaving me and I lost it.

-Aw. I didn't realize your started crying.

-Bonnie, let's not talk about this again, shall we?

-Fine. Go to your place, I'm putting make-up on her and then we're going in. Will you please tell Nora to come with the girls?- asked Bonnie to Damon.

-Of course, beautiful.

She smiled, making Stefan look at both of them with wide eyes.

-Did you guys…?

-Go!- screamed Bonnie interrupting him and getting into the room.

-What was that all about?

-Nothing, let's get you ready for saying yes.

-Finally.

Caroline was smiling, much more relaxed and Bonnie was happy that she got there at the time that she did. She wanted her best friend to enjoy her wedding, not to be worried and second-guessing everything.

-Yes. I hope today it's everything you hoped for and more.

-Me too. I hope we nail the dance.

-Oh, we will. We have rehearsed too much for it to go poorly.

She finished her make-up and cleaned the traces of the kiss before the others arrived.

-Are we all set?- asked Nora getting inside- why are you wearing a robe?

-No reason. It's all good. Tell my mom I'm ready for her to walk me down the aisle.

-Perfect. The girls are here, so I'll take her here and the groomsmen as well.

Bonnie walked out to get in line with the other girls, who looked at her curious.

-Crisis averted- she said simply.

-Oh hell no, you said you were telling us.

-But this is Care's secret, Lexi. I'm sure she'll tell you later, but I can't just go around telling everyone's secrets.

-Then tell me yours. Why do you look so glowy? Did you finally get laid?

-Is really that something you ask right before walking down the aisle, Lexi?- asked Matt walking towards his girlfriend.

-Yes it is, mind your business.

-I love how feisty she is!- intervened Klaus.

-Enjoy it, 'cuz after the wedding there's no more sex for you.

-Damn. Then how about we have a quickie before walking down the aisle?

-No! -screamed Nora.

-Relax, it was just a joke.

-I don't care. We need to start walking and you need to shut up about sex.

-Yes. I'm sorry Nora- apologized Bonnie getting in line and making everyone else follow her example. And as they got ready Caroline walked out the room holding her mother's hand.

-Wow, Blondie. You look amazing.

-Thanks Damon. Now let's go. I wanna get married already.

They walked arm in arm. Lexi and Klaus first, then Rebekah and Matt, then Bonnie and Damon and lastly Caroline with her mom.

Stefan could not hold back his tears when he saw her walking towards him with the biggest smile on her face and her own eyes filled with tears.

Bonnie looked at Damon with a big "we did it!" in her eyes and he responded with a bright smile that made her want to kiss him right then and there.

But she stayed in place and observed her two best friends get married and she cried with their vows. Later they threw rose petals to them on their way out, because Caroline read that birds died from eating uncooked rice, so she didn't want that on her wedding.

-It was a good wedding.- said Damon suddenly startling her. He was somehow by her side, walking towards the reception venue.

-Yeah and Valerie didn't oppose- she responded taking his arm, she really wanted to lose the heels, good thing they were wearing flats on the dance sequence.

-I was really afraid of that at one point.

-Me too.

-Now we gotta get out moves on.

-Yeah, but there's a speech first, we don't need to hurry up that much.

-Yeah… we could definitely sneak out the back.

-I do want to take these shoes off.

-I could totally help you with that.

She tried not to smile, but she failed. He made her so happy, she had no idea she could be this happy with just a few words. She really didn't want to be the first to say it, but she was thinking that maybe there was more than just "feelings" inside of her. Maybe it had to do with the L word.

-Do you think they'll notice?- she asked trying to distract herself from her thoughts, before she confessed these feelings to him.

-Nah, they're all on their own bubbles.

They walked to one of the bathrooms of the venue, her first and a few minutes later, him and as soon as he got inside they started kissing like horny teenagers.

He had her propped up against a wall and his hands were everywhere, making her breath catch, but he wasn't happy with that, he started massaging certain areas and he only smiled once she moaned.

-We should go back.

-They don't miss us- he said kissing his neck.

-But… Damon.

She was about to give in and tell him how to undo her spandex when someone knocked on the door, making them freeze.

-Bonnie, I saw you get in there. Do you have a minute?

Oh, shit.

-Enzo- they both said before another knock interrupted them.

-Are you still here?

-What do I do?- asked Bonnie

-I don't know, tell him off.

-But what if he waits outside? He'll blow our cover.

-Then talk to him, fine. I'll just hang out here longer.

-Okay.

She fixed her lip gloss on the mirror making Damon roll his eyes and then opened the door to walk out, but he pushed her inside.

-I know you're here with Damon.

* * *

Hi guys! I'm sorry I didn't post last week, it's been a crazy few weeks, but hopefully this long and sexy chapter can make it up to you. I haven't had much time, but thank you to everyone who commented the last chapter, you guys really made me so happy! I love all of you :)

I don't know what to say about this chapter and I'm falling asleep right now, because tests and stuff. But hopefully you'll like this chapter and you'll leave me a comment :)

Happy reading!


	16. Chapter 16

XVI. Happiness

-What?!- she screamed pushing him out, praying that he hadn't seen Damon.

-Yes. I know, I've seen the looks, the way he whispers to your ear. You know I'm right, that's why you won't let me in.

-I'm not letting you in because this is a woman's restroom and because I don't owe you any explanation.

-What do you mean by that? We were together for years and you were always in love with him. He treated you like trash and now he says a few sweet things in your ear and you're back in the palm of his hand? Come on Bonnie! I thought you were smarter than that.

-Enzo, you are the one who convinced me he felt the same way I did and now you're here throwing a tantrum over you believing that we're together. How old are you? Twelve?

-Bonnie he doesn't deserve you. I've been thinking about it, he's still a jerk.

-If he was and I were with him that would be a hundred percent my problem. I don't owe you explanations about my life and you shouldn't be here "trying to warn me". Or what were you expecting to do? Caught us together and separate us? Start fighting with him?

-I don't know! I just knew I had to come here and see it with my own eyes.

-Enzo…-she starts to calm down, pinching the bridge of her nose- I really wanted for us to end this on good terms but you're making it impossible. This is my life, I make my own decisions and you shouldn't be meddling, let alone making a scandal on a wedding. Get a grip.

She pushed him, walking towards the party. She knew there was a chance that he still got into the bathroom and saw Damon inside, but she didn't care. If he wanted to follow her and try to amend things, good, but if he didn't she didn't care at this point. She was mad.

-Bonnie- he called grabbing her arm to stop her.

-Let me go- she said very quietly and menacing. She didn't want to make a scene but she was starting to lose it.

-I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. I just... Lost it. This is hard for me, Bonnie.

-Enzo, shut the fuck up. –she whispers turning around- You're the one making it harder for everyone. We broke up months ago and because you wanted it. You're the one who left for Chicago and left me alone and then only came home to keep me away from Damon. I thought we could finally move on after the other day, but you just can't let it go. You can't let me go.

-You're right. You're my first love, Bonnie.

-But you don't even love me anymore, Enzo. We stopped loving each other years ago, we just kept lying because we were comfortable.

He looked at the ground, avoiding her eyes. He knew she was right and he knew all of this was because of his pride and his hatred of Damon and she was tired of taking shit from him.

-Everything okay?- asked someone from behind her and she was relieved it wasn't Damon. This wasn't the moment for another round for those two.

-Yes, Stefan, thank you.

-I'm sorry Stefan, I'll have to head out early, but it was a lovely wedding.

-Thank you Enzo. I hope you make it back safely to Chicago.

She didn't know how much Stefan heard, but it sounded like he was glad he was leaving. Almost like an indirect threat: "go back to Chicago or else". Enzo turned around and walked out, not looking back, which made her feel like a weight had lifted from her shoulder.

-Thanks, but I was handling pretty well.

-You were, I just wanted to let him know that you're not alone and if he was going to keep bothering you I didn't care about starting a fight on my own wedding.

-You're a psycho- she responded smiling, before hugging him- these have been a crazy couple of days.

-Yeah, but I want you to know that there's nothing you can't tell me or Care. We're here for you and we'll kick the hell out of anyone if they're being assholes.

-Well, you could've thought about that before inviting him.

-It was Care's idea and you know I can't say no to her.

-Why would she do that?

-Look at her- he whispered looking past her with a very adoring smile. She was looking at them with a scheming smile and a glass of champagne on hand. She toasted to her and looked all proud of her best friend.

-What?

-She knew you would have to go through that kind of conversation and she knew you'd handle it. She said she wanted to give you an opportunity for actual closure.

-I thought I had it the other day, we talked and he let me know he always knew about my feelings for Damon and… he seemed understanding and caring, but today he lost it and acted like a jealous boyfriend, I don't get it.

\- He was jealous. That's the only reason why he didn't broke up with you when he left for Chicago. He didn't want to drive you to Damon's arms. And given the way you and Damon have been behaving… he realized he just did that.

-What do you mean? We've been just working on the wedding.

-And flirting heavily- she could feel her face on fire and he laughed before pulling her into another hug- don't worry, we were counting on having you joining the family soon.

That didn't make her face feel any colder, actually it had the opposite effect. So she held him tight as well, to keep him from seeing her face, and to thank him for being there for her.

-You've had a lot to worry about these last few weeks, I don't know how you still have a mind to realize that we've been flirty.

-It's glaringly obvious, Bon. Plus, Damon has been staying at home. We've seen how happier he's been since you two are besties again. We've heard him singing in the shower and being grumpy when you guys are mad. It's seeing a soap opera on real life.

-We're not as dramatic, though- she said pulling back to smile at the groom.

-Oh, that's what you say now. But just wait a couple of months and you'll realize how much drama there is when you two are together.

-Don't put ideas into Bonnie's mind. You'll drive her away from me.

-I don't think I can, Damon. That's something only you can do.

She smiled, almost eager to tell her friend about her and Damon, but she knew she needed to tell this to both him and Caroline and she was happy dancing with her champagne glass, so this day had to be about her getting married. She'd tell her later after the honey moon.

-I think we all know that it was Enzo's job at some point.

-But that's on the past. I talked to him.

-I saw, he seemed really scared at one point, good job witchy- he said pulling her in for a hug from the side.

-Thank you- she answered smiling sheepishly. She didn't know how to act with him around her friends, their relationship was just starting and they didn't even know about it.

-Well, as adorable as you kids look right now I have to go to my equally adorable wife. And get ready for the dancing. It's due in half an hour.

-I'm older than you, you don't get to call me kid.

-I just got married, kid. I get to do whatever the fuck I want- he said before turning around and flipping him off.

-Wow. He gets a little bit of power and abuses it like that. Imagine if he would've been a superhero, or worst: Politician.

-Or a Wall Street's guy.

-Or a mafia boss.

-Or anybody's boss really. I fear for the future interns or trainees looking for advice from that motherfucker.

-Hey, I've never heard you said that. It's kinda hot.

-Everything it's kinda hot for you, Damon- she responded rolling her eyes and suppressing a smile.

-No. Everything you do it's kinda hot. Like right now, acting like you don't wanna smile, rising your right eyebrow to me, so sexy.

-Shut up- she whispering starting to feel heat in two different parts of her body.

-You don't need to blush. I haven't even told you yet about what I'm planning on doing tonight.

-Damon, stop it. Enzo noticed us being flirty and so did Stefan. You're blowing our cover.

-I didn't realize we had a cover in the first place.

-What do you mean? We talked about this.

-You talked about not wanting to make this day about us, but the happy couple is perfectly blissful over there without even paying attention to us and you're still over here asking me to pretend we're not together.

-That's just because Stefan already kind of knows.

-And? He doesn't care, Bonnie. Nobody cares as much as you think they do.

-Okay, calm down. Can we go outside to talk?

-No. It's all good. See you before the dance- he said before turning around and walking away from her. She inhaled deeply and took a drink from a tray walking close to her. Stefan and Caroline started their speech, obliviously happy.

Damon was right, she was exaggerating, and she knew that as well. But she had no other choice, everyone had such big expectations for them, because their whole lives had lead up to this. They had created a huge anticipation from everyone in their lives without even realizing it and she feared they wouldn't be able to navigate that.

She was afraid that they'd go too fast or too slow and end up crashing.

-Hey girl, why so lonely?- asked Lexi offering her another drink, she finished hers before taking it- damn, maybe slow down. We still need to dance, you know.

-I know. That's what has me all riled up- she lied looking at her glass like it was the reason of all of her ills.

-You sure it's not a certain best man?

-You saw?

-Girl, everyone saw. You too send sparks every time you're together. We're kind of used to watching the show.

-That's what actually has me riled up. I feel like we're some kind of tv show to you, like anything we do it's documented when we're around you. Why can't we just be two people together?

-Because you're not. You guys are our friends, who have been in love since you were teenagers and have been too blind to see the other felt the same way. And there's too much chemistry, so of course sometimes you clash and it's entertaining as hell.

-Not for us!

-Then stop running in circles and fucking do something.

-But then you'd be all up in our relationship. What if we only last a month? Then what?

-Then that's fine. You tried and it didn't work out. That's life, man.

-How can you be so chill?

-Because I don't let other's people expectations dictate my life. It's time for you to do the same, girl.

-Yeah… maybe…

-Hell yeah. Plus, I don't think you'll just last a month- Bonnie looked at her with a rebuttal, but Lexi rolled her eyes and covered her mouth- ask to see what's on his wallet.

-What is it?- she asked when the blonde pulled her hand out of her mouth.

-Something I came across looking for a rolling paper once a couple of years ago. If it was still there after five years of not speaking and it's still there today… girl, he's in it for the long game.

-I don't understand.

-Then fucking go to him, ask him and then come to dance with us, no makeup sex yet.

She pushed her towards Damon, who was sitting at the bar, with _that same blonde_ from the rehearsal dinner by his side. He seemed to not be paying attention to her babbling, but she was still talking and trying to flirt with him. That kind of got her mad.

She walked close enough she could hear what she was talking about and stayed there trying to look as if she was busy fixing something, while also trying to decide if she should interrupt or not.

-So, there I was, skinny dipping with my best friend when the cops showed up yelling we get out of the water with our hands up.

Oh God. Really? That was her approach? Well, she probably only wanted sex with him and making him think about her naked could work.

-Did it work?- asked Damon, still not looking at her.

-What do you mean?

-Did it work to make you come out of the water naked?

-Well... yeah they're the police.

-Psht. Should've flipped him off. He was abusing his power.

-But he would've arrested me.

-I guess.

A silence between them and the girl seemed kind of awkwardly trying to make herself more desirable by his side, but he still wasn't looking at her.

-Maybe you could abuse your power with me tonight.

-Wow- said Bonnie before she could stop herself, making Damon turn around- aren't you straight forward.

-You have to go for what you want.- responded the blonde, defensive.

-That's wisdom right there- he said before chugging his bourbon, looking straight into Bonnie's eyes.

-Yes. So, are you in?- she asked trying to ignore Bonnie.

-Am I in? Actually I don't know. What do you think Bon, should I be in?- he was testing her. Of course she knew that, because if she said he shouldn't fuck the blonde because of her the girl would tell everyone and if she said he should, she was sending him off to have sex with her. Not good for their relationship.

-Shouldn't you decide that?

-I don't know anymore. I'm giving you the power.

-Okay. Fine. No, he's not available- she said talking to her- but I wanted to know if you were available to talk right now- she continued looking at him in the eyes.

He stayed silent for a while. Studying her face and making her nervous, but she wasn't going to budge. She stayed put and with the same determination in her face or so she thought.

-Fine. I'm sorry, it wouldn't have worked out either way- he said looking at the blonde who was pouting.

-But why do you care about her so much?

-Sometimes I wonder the same.

She knew he was trying to be hurtful because he was hurt, but that didn't make her pain go away. He could be so thoughtful and sweet sometimes that she forgot how quick he could turn into an asshole.

They finally got outside and away from everyone and he turned to look at her without saying a word.

-You know you don't have to hurt me to feel better yourself right?

-I know. I just forget.

-Are you too drunk to talk right now? Because we have to dance, I don't know if you remember.

-Of course I do, that's why I drank so much, because I'll have to dance close to you and feel you and then let you go. Because this can't be all our relationship is. We can't keep fighting and making up until death do us apart. It's not healthy.

-So your healthy way of letting me know that is by hurting me?

-That's the only way I know to push you away.

-You could say you don't feel the same way about me and it would be over. I would forget you if I knew this wasn't meant to be. If I knew that we are just hurting each other.

-We are.

-That's because we're still starting are we're still not a hundred percent honest with each other. I'm still learning to be honest about my feelings about you. It's been years of hating you and talking shit about you to mask my true feelings, it's hard to bounce back to show the world how I truly feel.

-Well we're not on the same boat then because I'm dying to let them all know that we're finally together. Because I'm so fucking happy that you feel the same way about me that I want everyone to know, but you hiding it makes me feel like you're embarrassed about me. Like this is just a fling you don't them to know about.

-You're not just a fling Damon. That's what scares me. We've been dancing around each other for so long that everyone has huge expectations about this. That's what scares me. We've never been more than best friends and we've been through some awful shit these years we've been apart. How do I know that we'll last?

-So you want to hide it until you're sure we can last? How long will that be? How will you know?

-I don't know Damon, I'm just as confused as you are. And I know it's stupid, too. I'm just scared.

-Of what? Me hurting you? Leaving you?

-Would that be much of a stretch? We had one fight and you already thought about going to sleep with another woman and talked about not knowing why you care about me. You hurt me on purpose.

-That was… it wasn't like I was going to sleep with her.

-But you acted like that. Why do you do that?

-Because I sabotage myself, Bonnie. Because you're not the only one that ended up screwed up from the trauma in your life. Because I… I have such feelings for you that it scares me how much power I'm giving you to wreck me. I'm an asshole, too. I'm impulsive. I don't think before I speak and I end up hurting you trying to prove to myself that I'm shit and I deserve to be alone.

-You don't deserve that.

-But I do. My dad told me that I was a fuck up before he left to die, Bonnie. And all my life I tried to show him, either if he's looking fro heaven or hell that I wasn't. That I could pull my life together without him and that I was enough. That I was deserving of love. But I knew inside that I wasn't. That's why I destroyed the only good thing in my life: you and I. I left town, where my brother and you were and I kept fucking up relationships until there were none left.

He was shaking, he had started murmuring but now he was almost full-blown shouting. His eyes were full of tears too stubborn to fall from his eyes, but his breaths were deeper every time he drew air in. Bonnie didn't know what to do, other than hug him. He crumbled on top of her and wrapped her from every angle, holding her tight, as if she was going to disappear.

-You're not a fuck up, Damon. You're an amazing man, who pulled himself through college, made his own business and has the love of his brother and friends. And mine. You're loved, Damon.

He kept crying, or at least that's what she thought, because he was still breathing deep, but nothing was coming from his mouth for a long time.

-I'm sorry, Bonnie. You're the most amazing woman on Earth, that's why I care about what you think. That's why I care about you… I… I don't deserve you. You're right to be embarrassed of me.

-Damon I'm not embarrassed, at all. Hell, you're the hottest and most amazing guy on our generation I should be the one parading and yelling than we're together. And there's not deserving someone, that's not how relationships work. We have to work together to be better, because we both have flaws, I'm not as amazing as you say. I fuck up pretty frequently actually.

-But you're always there for everyone, even me right now when I knowingly hurt you.

-Yes, but I'm forgiving you because you regret it and because I'm sure that it won't happen again, because if it does I'm not staying here to keep being hurt. You have to realize that.

-I do. I promise I will think before I do that again. I don't want to hurt you again, Bonnie. I was just trying to push you away because you're stronger than me. I could never tell you to leave.

-Is that what you used to do? Just avoid Elena, so she'd leave you and not the other way around?

-Yes. Old habits die hard.

-They have to die though, because that's fucking unhealthy.

-I know. I'm sorry.

They stayed holding each other for a few more minutes, slowly Damon's breath started to calm down and he started to relax thanks to her hand moving up and down his spine.

-I'm sorry you've carried that thing with you your whole life. That's a fucked up thing to say to a fourteen year old.

-He was an asshole. That's why I'm like this. I hate him and yet I follow into his footsteps.

-It happens to the best of us.

He pulled away and looked at her for a few second, then he moved closer to her but stopped to look her in the eyes, like asking for permission and Bonnie smiled before closing the gap between them. He had salty lips from his tears, but it still tasted sweet somehow. His hands moved up to cup her face, holding her with such care that she felt like a precious piece of art for a few minutes.

-I'll make it up to you Bonnie.

-Okay. How about we go to dance in front of everyone and after that I'll tell you what I want as reward- she offered while cleaning his tears.

-You're such a horny lady.- he responded with a small but honest smile- I like it thought.

-That's not what I meant- she said laughing, she loved that he could be joking again.

-I love your laugh. I'm gonna make you laugh more.

-I like that.

They kissed again, slowly and with all the feelings they still had inside, the ones they hadn't fully vocalized because their relationship seemed so fragile, they were both scared to taking steps that seemed too big.

But Bonnie was chipper, Damon hadn't been that vulnerable in front of her in years. He hadn't cried like that since they were teenagers and she knew that he needed to talk about it to let it go and she knew that from his voice he wasn't letting his past or his usual self-sabotaging tactics take over this relationship.

It somehow felt like he had let it all out, all the bad things that he had, he had displayed them to push her away and make her rethink about being with him and when she hadn't pulled back it felt like he had relaxed enormously.

She smiled, she had done the same many times with him and he stayed there, called her out and put up with it. They were really idiots, but two idiots with so much love for each other.

* * *

The music started with a slow song first. They moved accordingly, everyone on their positions surrounding the newlyweds, whom of course had the most complicated and over the top moves, to impress everyone, but when the music changed pace to a more tropical sounding one, they had to start moving faster, closer, hotter. She could feel Damon's body reacting to it, and hers as well.

They were moving quickly and in tune with the music which had the crowd losing it, cheering and applauding every time Stefan lifted Caroline and when they finally finished, every girl was on top of their partners in different ways: Bonnie got to put her legs on Damon's hips but from the side, Lexi was on top of Klaus' shoulders, Rebekah was being bridal-style carried and Caroline and Stefan had done the "dirty dancing" last movement.

Everyone cheered and some even screamed making them feel pretty good about themselves. Bonnie was sweating profusely and she was so tired but she felt like it was all worth it, because everyone seemed so happy. Caroline was jumping up and down, Stefan looked at her with so much love she felt like she was interrupting them just by standing near and everyone else had a brightness in their eyes. All in all, it was amazing.

Bonnie went to the bathroom, because she and the girls had decided to bring second dresses for after the dancing, she had brought a simple white silky dress and Damon went to change his shirt as well. When she got out of the bathroom, having freshened up and changed clothes, Damon was there, smiling at her.

-Don't you look amazing.

-Thank you, so do you.

-I look the same as before- he said rolling his eyes before trapping her inside his arms-, you were incredible.

-We were!

She buried her face on his chest and held him tight at the same time he hid his face on the crook of her neck. They stayed like that for a few minutes, listening to the sound of chatter and music away from them, it was fairly relaxing.

-It's been a hell of a day- he said starting to leave small kisses on her neck.

-I know. If I wasn't the maid of honor, I'd leave now.

-I know, me too- he sighed and nuzzled her with his nose- you smell amazing even when you're sweating. That's further proof you're a witch.

-How?- she asked laughing.

-Because human's are not like that.

-Then I could be anything other than human. An alien, a fairy, a ghost…

-A witch.

She chuckled and pulled away from him and kissed him slowly.

-I'm sorry for making you feel like I was embarrassed by you.

-I'm sorry for being a dick.

-Forgiven.

-Thank you.

They looked into each other's eyes, with heavy feelings in between them, words they couldn't yet speak, but understanding that they were there for both of them.

-I want to cash in my reward, though.

-What reward?

-You said you'd make it up to me.

-We can't do it here, they'll see us.

-That's not what I mean- she said rolling her eyes- I want for you to show me something.

-I'm pretty sure you've seen it all.

-Not your penis! I wanna see your wallet.

-You've seen my wallet.- he murmured, something shifting in his eyes.

-I wanna see what's inside it.

He was silent for a few minutes, making her believe he wasn't going to let her get her way but suddenly he sighed and looked at the door behind her, his eyes saying something she couldn't decipher.

-Who told you?

-Nobody has told me what it is- she said stroking his hair, trying to get him to relax.

-Then why do you want that?

-Well… Lexi told me to ask you that. She said something about you being in it for the long run.

-I'm gonna kill her. I knew I shouldn't trust her.

-Don't be mad at her. She just wanted to convince me to stop being a bitch to you.

-If I show you this, you won't run scared right?

-Why would I?

-Because… it's personal. And I thought it was creepy for some time.

-Stop with the mystery and just show me.

-Fine- he said somewhat on edge. He took his wallet off, slowly and suddenly he just put it on her hand- find out yourself.

He watched her from a safe distance. She opened it carefully, knowing this wallet meant a lot for him and only found cards and some money. She looked at him puzzled he and rolled his eyes and opened a zipper, revealing a few pictures.

There was one of Stefan and him, holding each other when they were kids. There was one of his mother when she was young, another one of their parents getting married and finally a polaroid. It was her, with the lake and the sunset behind her. He had taken this photo the summer before he left and he had kept it in his wallet all this time.

-Damon…- she could only whisper, feeling as the emotion started to overcome her.

-I just… It reminded me of better times- he said putting his hands on his pockets, trying to make himself smaller- I looked at it when things were bad.

-You had it there… all this time?

-Yes. I…- he took one of his hands off and scratched his head before pointing to the picture- if you turn it around…

She did and the word "Iridescence" was written, with his handwriting, making it impossible for her tears not to gather on her eyes.

-You've thought about me like this this whole time?

-Well… yeah… but not just you. It was that moment, the whole day and you and the place and…

-I love you- she blurted out. Because she did and she was tired of pretending like she didn't. She was tired of wasting time being scared when he was right there.

He was silent for a second and the next he was kissing her desperately. Holding her as close as humanly possible and as hungry as he'd never been. He wasn't just passionate, he was relieved and he was _ecstatic _and she could feel all that on his kiss.

-I love you too, Bonnie Bennet- he said when he finally broke apart, only to kiss her again with the same feelings.

They laughed when they finally pulled away, fishing for air, but he put his forehead against hers.

-Hey dorks! Caroline's about to throw the bouquet!- shouted Lexi from the door, smiling, she'd probably seen them kiss.

-Coming!- screamed Damon before kissing her again.

They went to the reception with renewed energies and danced the whole night together, Bonnie stopped restraining herself and started kissing him in front of everyone, making them cheer the first time, but afterwards it seemed like everyone settled in and somehow it felt like they were always like that in front of everyone.

And for the first time in years she could feel happiness. Unrestrained, explosive, overwhelming happiness.

* * *

Hey guys! Did you like the chapter? I hope you did because it was so much fun writing it! I wanted for them to finally be completely honest with each other. Finally! After years of pinning and fighting (each other and their feelings) finally everything's on the table.

This was going to be the end of it, as planned prior to my newest idea, but it'll probably be two or three more chapters now, hope you like what I have in store :)

I hope you guys let me comments about how you liked it and what were you expecting and what you weren't, hopefully it met your expectations.

Anyway! I have to go to sleep, see you next week!


	17. Chapter 17

XVII. How long?

The happiness stayed with her throughout the week. Mostly because Damon stayed on her house, as well. They had breakfast together, stayed in bed together, watched movies together and just enjoyed each other's company for the whole week.

But now it was the last day before Damon had to go back to New York and they were both sad. Their little routine was over and it was time to go back to reality.

Bonnie could feel how the darkness started creeping up on her, the feeling of being abandoned again. She wanted to play nice and try not to let her trauma take over her that easily, but she couldn't help it. She had to let it all out.

-I thought you said you'd start a franchise here- she said without looking at him. They were sitting on the sofa, side by side, but still not touching. Fitting with how they were feeling.

-Yes, Bonnie. I did. – he stated, facing her side, looking for her eyes, but she had her eyes fixated on the coffee table- And I will, but that takes time.- he kept trying.

-How much? I don't wanna be in another long-distance relationship.

Bonnie knew she wasn't being fair, but she was tired of needing someone who was miles away. She wanted for him to be in the house after her first day back at the hospital, to tell him about her day, to give her pancakes when she had the day off and to have a warm body to come back to when she had to work 16 hours straight.

-This isn't the same, Bonnie. I'm not him. I'll travel back as soon as I can and I'll work on the franchise as fast as possible. You'll have to be patient, though- he said taking her hand and making circles in it. It made her come back to the ground, remember this wasn't the same as eight years ago.

-I know it's not the same, but I'm tired of being away from you. – she finally looked at him, he seemed worried, so she elaborated- It's taken us long enough to say how we feel about each other and now we have to do the long distance thing and it sucks.

Damon hugged her and held her tight for a few seconds, then kissed her on the crown of her head before sighing.

-I know it sucks, it does for me too and honestly, I'll miss you, the sex most of all- she scoffed and he smiled, knowing that he got her out of her own head- and waking up next to you, of course, but I can't just leave everything in New York. It's my company, I'm the boss. I have to make sure everything is being taken care of before I can move and even then when I move back here I'll have to go to New York periodically. Don't you like it when I use big words?

He was wiggling his eyebrows at her, trying to distract her from the fact that he was not going to be as present as she'd like him to be. But she knew that beforehand, she was just being spoiled and immature, he was right. It was his company and he had to run things, it's not like he was going to stay in New York forever.

-I do- she kissed him, trying to gather strength for the next question- and how long until you can settle back here?

-Two months, probably. If everything runs smoothly. I already have someone in mind to take over New York, but I have to find someone to replace Elena because she's leaving to study medicine. I have to find a place here to start the franchise, so I'll have an excuse to come next month for at least a week.

-Okay, but you'll come in between?

-I can come over the weekend probably, once a month. But it has to be when you're free as well, so we can be together and I don't have to be alone while you work for 20 hours straight.

-It's hard for me to get a weekend off.

-Well, we'll figure it out. It's been too hard already for us to give up now. Right?

-Of course.

She knew what he meant and why he had the face that he did. He was scared. She was, too. Being in a long distance relationship was hard, always, but taking into account their history it was going to be a real test.

-Why don't we go to little heaven to a have a little "see you soon" party? I don't care if you order pancakes for dinner.

-I love that idea. And I love you.

He kissed her, relaxing against her. Things hadn't been easy for them for the last few years, so of course it wasn't going to start being easy now. She had to lower her expectations and just be happy with the little time that she got now, after all, he was moving back home for her.

-I love you so much, Bonnie Bennet- he responded pulling back and looking at her into her eyes, to be sure that she was grasping the concept, even when it was so hard for her to understand that he loved her as intensely as she did.

-Should I put on fancy clothes for this?

-If you want to. I think you look beautiful on yoga pants and a shirt, but a nice dress is always welcomed. You'll look hot either way and we'll undress as soon as we can, either way.

-Yeah. I think I'll go for the dress, that way my ass won't distract you.

-But your legs will.

He kissed her with more heat this time and without her realizing, he was already on top of her and she was burning up in all the right places.

-We'll be late Damon- she said between the small sighs that his kisses on her neck were causing.

-We don't have a reservation, Bonnie. We can be a little late.

-Okay, but just a little.

They ended up being ready to leave an hour and a half later. Bonnie decided on wearing a dress, perfect to endure the heat from summer. And also to keep Damon glancing at her legs from the driver seat. He also put his hands on said legs every time the car could stop.

-This is just mean. You know I can't pay full attention if you're wearing that. You want me to crush this car, right? So you can take care of me on the hospital. You're a sick woman, Bonnie.

-Yeah, you'd say the same if I wore leggings.

-That's because they hug perfectly your curves.

She rolled her eyes, smiling, content with her life the way it was right now.

They got into the restaurant, holding hands and whispering sweet and horny nothings at each other, laughing.

-Do you think you'll be able to come before I start working?

-I don't think so. I'll try, though.

-It's okay. I just wanted to know how long it'll be until we see each other.

-I'll let you know as soon as I can. And talking about that… I need a favor.

-What kind of favor?

-Well, you know… I've been thinking that I can't go back to the house… you know. Ric and Jo are living there with Care and Stefan already. They're supposed to leave soon, but it still seems awkward for me to move back there.

-Okay…- she said, encouraging him to keep talking, already feeling butterflies on her stomach.

-I was thinking…- he seemed nervous- that maybe you could… I don't know… rent me a room?

Bonnie started laughing, which seemed to surprise Damon, but he started laughing nervously as well.

-What do you mean rent you a room?

-Yeah, I mean, we're just starting, I don't know if you'll like having me moving in on your room already.

-Dude, you'll be moving in with me as well. And you won't even be sleeping on another room and you know that.

-I'm just trying not to push you into moving in so quickly.

-I don't care about that. Plus, we'll be having a long-distance relationship, so it seems fitting that once you're back here we'll be living together.

-Weren't you like scared that we were moving so quickly?

-Yeah… but I got over myself. We're in love and we've loved each other for literally a more than decade, even when we were with other people.

-I'm so glad you want me to live with you- he whispered squeezing her hand, making her smile brightly.

-No, you want to live with me.

-Come on Bonnie you're almost begging me to come live with you.

-Shut up- she smiled after shoving him in the shoulder and the waiter came to give them their food.

Damon left that day after leaving her home, alone. She wasn't feeling as hopeless as she did that morning, when she realized she was waking up next to him for the last time in a few weeks. She was a little bit sad, but also hopeful. It was finally a fresh start for them with no lies, not pent up feelings and no secrets. They could finally be free and happy together.

* * *

The next few days were good, they spoke on the phone every night. Bonnie had cleaned her whole house, preparing herself for the same schedule she once had. She went to the supermarket, wanting to be prepared to just work on the first few weeks.

Caroline came back from her honeymoon and the very first thing she did was orchestrate a lunch with Bonnie to know everything.

-You didn't tell me you guys were together! I had to find out with everyone else.

-I just thought you had too much on your plate already.

-That's no excuse. I should've had a heads up at least.

-I wasn't planning on letting you all know on the wedding it just kind of happened.

-How? How did it happen, I want to know every single detail.

And with that Bonnie went on into the story of how things worked out between them, their first kiss, their first time, their first I love you and how things had developed since. Their plans and their calls. Bonnie had to stop sometimes to hear Caroline squeal excited and she couldn't stop her laugh bubbling from her stomach, too happy.

-I just want for him to be here now, but things will work out. We just need to be patient now.

-Oh my God, Bonnie! Soon enough we'll be planning your wedding!

-Oh, no. We need to live together first. Speaking of, when are you guys buying yourselves a place?

-Soon. It was either we bought a house or we went on the honeymoon, so, of course we chose the honeymoon. We deserved it.

-Yeah, it was one hell of a wedding.

-Yes. I'm so proud. We'll save for a few months, living on the Salvatore house and we'll probably buy a two story house near Ric and Jo, they're feeling so sad to have both the guys leave the house.

-Yeah, that must suck- said Bonnie moving a bag of sugar absently, thinking about Damon coming to live with her in a couple of months, but Caroline looked at her funny and she added-They can probably start having their own life again. Maybe they could travel.

-I'll suggest them that.

-Great.

-Oh, I forgot to ask. When do you start working?

-In a couple of days. I won't be as busy this time, there's no studying for the exam now.

-That's good. I'll have my best friend once a week perhaps.

-Perhaps.

She left to get home with a smile and talked to Damon about it later, thinking about how easy it felt to be with him in her life now. It was actually hard to think about him not being around anymore.

* * *

The blinding happiness stayed with her for approximately three weeks. And then all went to shit.

She and Damon talked on the phone almost every day, about their work, their day but most of all they had meaningful talks about the future and the past and how much they had dreamt about this happening.

Damon was coming to see her next weekend, when she had one day off, he said he'll take the other day to catch up with his brother, so it was all good and dandy. But then, she came into work and the first patient she had to take care of had been in an awful car crash.

-Here's the information we have so far- said a nurse giving her some papers, Bonnie read them while entering the emergency room and when she finally got to the person on the stretcher she could feel all the air leave her lungs.

-Is… where…?- she tried to act professionally, tried to make a full sentence, but she couldn't. The nurse must've thought that her reaction was because of the way the woman on the stretcher looked, full of blood, bruises, cuts and the tubes coming out of her.

-She was brought a few hours back, we took care of most of it, but we need you to asses her. We're thinking we should move her to ICU. She didn't have her ID so we'll have to wait until she wakes up, if she does, to tell us her name.- commented the nurse, moving stuff around and seeing if she had the right medicine on her solution bag.

-It's Abby Bennet- whispered Bonnie, making the nurse stop on her tracks.

-Bennet… like you?

-She's my mother- kept whispering Bonnie, looking at the woman in the stretcher. She had become numb, looking at the ghost of her mother there. She was skinnier, her face with more wrinkles and her hair shorter. She looking nothing like the woman that had raised her along with her father. A bruised and malnourished shell.

-Is this too personal for you to take care of? Do you want me to call another doctor?

-No, I'll be okay. I just need a few minutes to… process this.

The nurse nodded and then walked out to leave her alone with her mother. Bonnie didn't move for the next five minutes, just looking at the state she was in and wondering why she was in town and how long had she been in town without contacting her.

This was fucked up. She was her mother and she knew nothing about her anymore, she had left more than a decade ago and when she came back she didn't let her daughter know about it. Like she didn't let her know that she was leaving her behind.

She didn't realize she started crying until the nurse came back and offered her a tissue. She took it silently and took care of her face and nose, before breathing in and letting all of her feelings go to the back, she locked them up and started working on her mother, trying not to think too long about it or else she'd break in half in front of her colleagues.

After that, she kept powering through the day, numb, without smiling or thinking about anything too much, she felt like the world was shrinking and trembling around her and if she let herself look at it for too long she'd shrink and tremble along with it.

She didn't pick up the phone when Damon called, knowing that hearing his voice would make her cry and if she let herself start crying she knew she wasn't stopping, so she waited ten minutes to send him a text telling him she was busy and to call her tomorrow.

It started like that, she just wanted to be able to function for a few more hours before breaking down, and then she wanted to be able to not have to cry herself to sleep, so she took sleeping pills and tried not to think about it too much. Before she could realize it, she hadn't picked up the phone the next day, and the next day or the next.

She didn't answer Caroline's phone calls either and before she realized it, she had pushed everyone out for a week. She had a lot of texts from Damon (**Is everything ok?)** and she had read them all, itching to answer them but also scared to do so. He'd been worried, (**Bonnie, you know you can tell me anything, please tell me what happened**) angry (**So you're pushing me away again? Classic Bonnie) **and then worried again (**Bonnie, please. I'm sorry I snapped, I'm here for you, please pick up).** An then he couldn't come because of a last minute problem and she didn't know if she was relieved or not.

She wanted to be with him and tell him and everyone what was going on with her, but she didn't know how to. She didn't know if she could keep going with her life if she did, she didn't know if she could come to work if she did.

Her mother wasn't making any advances, she was just as wrecked as when she came and they had to induce her into coma. They had to perform surgery on her and now they had to wait to see if she could wake up on her own or if they had to take her out of the coma, and then see if she wanted to keep living or if she had given up.

Bonnie realized she was waiting on her when the doctors who operated her told her that. She felt like in a limbo, she couldn't let herself feel anything or everything there would be would be pain and she knew she needed to talk to her mom to be able to move on. Her friends tried to call, they went to her house and she didn't open the door and Damon's text were getting more frantic every hour (**Bonnie just open your damn door!). **

She was losing everyone because she was too scared of losing herself if she let them in.

-Here you are- said a feminine voice to her, taking her out of her thoughts, but boy wasn't she prepared for it.

Lexi, Caroline and Stefan were in front of her, on her launch break, looking at her with many questions in their eyes.

-Bonnie… are you okay?- asked Stefan moving slowly towards her, like being careful around a wild animal, and he didn't know it but she felt kind of like a wild animal, thinking about her fastest and better shots at finding an easy exit.

-Yes- she whispered without making eye contact with either of them, she knew the look on their faces all too well, she knew she looked like shit. She hadn't care about her appearance for a while and she hadn't really ate anything in a few days. She was trying to eat, buying salads on the cafeteria like the one in front of her, but she could never take more than one bite.

-You don't look okay- said Lexi, earning a pointed look from the couple- What? It's the truth.

-You can't just say that- whispered Caroline, she loved her friend, but she wasn't as secretive as she thought.

-I'm fine. You guys can just go. I've just been busy.

-Then why aren't you even texting back?

-Because I'm tired, Caroline. I work hard, sometimes twenty hours and I don't have time to talk about anyone's outfit- she snapped. She knew it was a low blow, taking that Caroline sometime's talked about that on her job, but she also wanted for them to leave before the dam opened and she couldn't keep doing her job.

-And Damon?- snapped Caroline back- don't you have time to talk to the one guy you've been in love with since you were a teenager?

-Caroline, this is my job. I'd thank you if you could not talk about my personal life- she said standing up with her salad.

-Bonnie, please. Stop. What's wrong?- Stefan was in front of her and she couldn't really move for a few minutes, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything, he was so good at soothing people. But she also knew that she didn't want to cause a scene on the hospital and she already was.

-Nothing, Stefan. Why don't you just go? I have stuff to do.

She walked past him and went to throw her salad to the trash before going back into ER.

-Bonnie, I'm your best friend. Please tell me what's wrong- pleaded Caroline before she could leave their vicinity.

She looked at her eyes for the first time since they arrived, she could see how worried she was, the desperation in her eyes. She could see herself there as well, empty, a shell of the girl she was not more than a week ago.

-I can't Caroline- she finally whispered, giving up.- You need to leave me alone.

-But we're your friends…

-And I don't want you here. Isn't it obvious from me not picking up the phone? I don't want to tell you about it. Not you, not Damon, not anyone- she interrupted letting her anger take over before the sadness invading her could- leave me the fuck alone.

She walked faster to ER, trying to not cry while doing so and not looking back at the people who were there worried about her. She knew they meant well, she knew that she needed them as well but she also knew that it was too much, she knew that this had the potential to break her forever and she couldn't let that happen.

So she kept walking but without an aim, she didn't have to go back to work, she still had twenty minutes left and she was still angry and sad, but mostly angry. She was angry because her life was going so well and she had to come and ruin everything.

She didn't realize when she entered ICU and walked right into her mother's room.

-Why? Why couldn't you just stay away from me? Why did you have to come back and ruin everything I've worked so hard for?- she spitted toward her mother, the woman she couldn't even recognize anymore. She didn't know anything about that woman, she was just someone who gave birth to her and left her when things got hard- Why did you leave on the first place? Was I too much of a burden? Didn't you think we could go through it together? Of course not, it was so much easier to forget you had a daughter and just run away and start over.

She started pacing, fast, there was just too much inside of her, the darkness taking over in a way it never did before.

Because she had Damon before, he was there for her when her own mother left her and he made her feel like she was a valuable person. She had Caroline, who helped her overcome the feelings of inadequacy, of being left behind by a parent. She had Stefan, who could always find a way to soothe her.

This time she had no one, because she couldn't let them see how fucked up she was in spite of their efforts. She had tried so hard for them not to see how it changed her, how it made her wary and fretful.

Her mother leaving her was always something she said like it was just something that happened, that sucked, but that she got over. Obviously, it was a big lie.

She lied even to herself, making herself believe that her Grams love and the help from her friends were just enough, that she didn't need anything else, but now, looking at her and feeling rejected again she knew that was a big fat lie.

She thought that the only times when her trauma bled out was when she was around Damon, that's why she was so mad at him but know she had realized that all of her relationships were stained by it.

She couldn't be totally honest with Caroline because she didn't want to seem weak, because she was a pushover, because she wanted to never be left behind again. She tried so hard not to bother Stefan with her issues, even though he was more than happy to help her navigate them. But she didn't want to depend on him, she wanted to be able to get through it without someone anchoring her.

But that was a load of bullshit and she knew that now, she did depend on her friends to not go over the edge, she did depend on her Grams, on Enzo, on her studies, on anything and everything that could make her feel like she was valuable and not a burden.

Damon was the worst of all because he could always see right through her, he never pushed too hard and he let her come to terms with her own issues when she could. He was her rock and her anchor for so long that when she didn't have him she started making awful decisions, being more guarded and trying to never give anyone a reason to leave her again.

And seeing him would only remind him of how she wasn't as okay as she tried to make everyone believe. Fighting him was the most suitable response, because she was so angry with him, she wanted to hurt him the way he hurt her.

And now they were together and things were finally falling into place, but her mother coming back into her life launched her into a state that she couldn't believe she ended up on. She was numb, not eating and just getting by. She was worse than when it first happened and she knew it was her own damn fault because this time she pushed everyone away.

And she knew why she did it, because they didn't really help fix her heart before, they were a distraction. Their love for her didn't mend her heart, it only put patches on it, ones that could be very easily removed.

Damon's love helped and she let herself be convinced that this was what took to actually mend her heart, that having him again could anchor her as it did back then and that she would be okay again. But it was a lie, the damage was done and she was as devastated by her mother leaving as she was when he left her and that was something that you can't just gloss over.

Having him back made her happy again, but it didn't erase the years of feeling like no one could ever love her, that Enzo was as good as she'd ever have it and that she was hard to love, because not even her mother loved her enough to stay or to take her along. Why would anyone else love her the way Caroline and Stefan loved each other?

She had finally let those feelings go, she was begging to accept that Damon loved her the way she loved him, that even though she was hard to love he could take it and that they could be happy, but now all she could think of was: but how long? How long before he realizes I'm not what he wanted and he leaves again and break her heart once and for all. How long until her friends start to make their life away from her? Have kids and forget about ever spending time with her? How long until she became unbearable even for them?

She started trembling, her throat closing, she couldn't keep it in anymore. Tears started streaming down her face and she fell to her knees without realizing. She started gasping for air, but it was too hard, it was leaving her lungs too soon and her crying started to be more desperate and before she realized it she was crying out loud and nurses and doctors came to her and tried to stabilize her.

She couldn't calm down, she started crying harder and screaming how she couldn't breath.

-Panic attack!- screamed someone, she didn't know who and suddenly she felt a needle somewhere in her body and her screams grew softer.

-How long?- she asked before everything went black.

* * *

Hi guys! I'm so sorry for taking so long to update, you should know that I'm from Chile and the crisis and the whole revolution took a front seat on my mind for far too long. I'm not going to classes because of it and it felt wrong to do anything that wasn't related to the social movement. It's been a month and a week since it started and I just realized that it's going to take much longer for it to finish, so I decided I could leave my mind do something other than focuse on the police brutality and the scams the goverment and the police are making. Social media and cameras have been the best for this era in out country, we can see proof of them doing stuff they're blaming on the people roaming the streets.

Of course there's been bad stuff happening, theft and looting. It was to be expected and it's a sad part of any revolution but there's always violence that comes with any change and I'm just trying to keep going and not let that blind my judgement about the movement, we're doing this because we want dignity, we want a better health service, a better education, a better pension system.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the tangent. That's just the only topic on my mind and everyone's mind lately. I have tried to not focus that much on it these last few days, because I started getting angry and sad and I realized I needed a break, so here it is. My break was me writing this, can you teel I've been in a grim mood? lol

It's not like I just decided it was going to be a sad thing right now, I was planning on having this happen, so we can have a healed Bonnie by the end of the fic, I wanted for her to be able to actually move past it and not just bury it beneath and act like it didn't happen. I wanted for her to forgive herself, because many kids who were left leave thinking it was their fault.

The next chapter will be the final one and I've been thinking about making an epilogue from Damon's POV. Let me know how you feel about that, I was thinking about making the next chapter his POV because there's a scene I really want to write like that, but I think that it would be better if I just put that on the Epiloge, so that would probably be the ending from Damon's POV and maybe something more from their future.

Okay, I'll leave now so you can finally read this, I'm sorry it's too short, but I'm already working on the final one so that'll probably be up this week, next one if things don't go as expected but it shouldn't.


	18. Chapter 18

XVIII. Much more than her mother's daughter.

She woke up because the light was too bright. She could recognize the smell, and she knew where she was before she even opened her eyes: she was in the hospital.

She opened her eyes with a lot of effort, she could feel her mouth dry and her face scrunching to try to see through the blinding light.

She had always imagined what it would be like to wake up on the other side of the bed in the hospital, she thought that having Caroline as her emergency number she would be the first there, worried sick about her with her husband by her side, because Stefan was the kind of friend who always showed up.

But they weren't there. She was alone, because she had asked them to leave her alone and they had.

Which sucked. She felt a little bit dizzy and tired, much more tired than she had in the last few months. She saw that her arm was pierced by a needle, giving her hydrating solution, probably because she had cried so much, on top of not really caring about herself in days.

So this is what rock bottom felt like.

She didn't know if she had to call a nurse, or she did but she didn't really want to. She knew she had made a scene and that a lot of her colleagues had seen her at her worst and they had probably assumed that she had a panic attack because her mom was dying and not because her mom had left her and come back and she never heard a single word from her.

She started crying again, this time letting herself to do so, there was no going back now and she could let herself feel all the darkness she had so strongly fought before.

And she cried not only because she was left by the person who was supposed to love her most, not only because that had left a permanent mark in her and the way she saw the world but by how stupidly she had handled her comeback.

Her mother hadn't said a single world to her and she had crumbled down easier than a house of cards. She stared at her whole life and watched how the abandonment stains covered it all.

The way she carried herself, her relationships, the way she lived her life. It was all a result of her mother leaving her when she was a kid. And that realization made her cry even harder, because she thought she had handled it so well, she thought she was making Grams proud, but really she was probably looking down on her disappointed and distressed.

Bonnie must've been crying for at least half an hour when a nurse came by. She looked at her with pity, making her want to bury herself on the bed and disappear right then and there. She checked her vitals and told her she needed to have some water and to rest.

She was also told that the doctor prohibited visitors, probably because she could see how lonely and scared she was feeling.

She thought that because the light was so bright and her mind was still racing she wouldn't be able to sleep, but after another wave of crying she finally fell asleep an hour later.

The next day she was woken up by a scream.

-Bonnie!- someone jumped on top of her before she could even open her eyes fully and now all she could see was blonde hair.

-Care?- she croaked.

-I'm so sorry- she whispered still hugging her, she could feel the tears on her shoulders and she could also hear her little gaps for air. Why was she crying?

-Why? I'm the one who fucked up- whispered Bonnie with a raspy voice. Caroline finally let her go and she could see around her and as she had predicted before, Stefan was right behind her.

-But I should've checked up on you sooner.

-We didn't know, Care- whispered Stefan behind her. He still looked at her like a wild animal, but Bonnie was still too tired to think about running this time.

-I'm sorry, guys- she whispered, finally realizing that she couldn't carry this one on her own and that she needed her friends.

-Why didn't you tell us, Bonnie?

-Because I knew that when I finally came to terms with it something like…this would happen- she said gesturing to herself in the stretcher.

She couldn't stop the tears from coming and she was too tired to try anyway, she had already broken down, there was no use in keeping it in anymore, not even in front of other people.

They were about to say something when a doctor came to the room, it was one of her favorite ones, Shauna.

-Bonnie Bennet. You should be on this side of the room, not the other way around.

-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…

-Worked- she interrupted- you shouldn't be working when you're that psychologically stressed. Your friends told us why you reacted that way and you should've told us sooner.

-I'm sorry- she knew she was repeating herself but there wasn't anything she could say other than that, really.

She vaguely recognized that they knew why she was there, she didn't have to tell them.

-We're keeping you here until tomorrow, so we can put some food into you gradually, you have lost too much weight in a week and you were severely dehydrated. Probably because you hadn't drank water and you cried too much.

-Yeah…

-Also we're giving you a psychological license and we have a good psychologist in the building, you should pay her visit.

Everyone was silent after that, it was an awkward conversation to have in front of her friends.

-I didn't know I was that far off that I needed therapy.

-Honey, you don't have to be "that far off" to go to therapy. It's a good thing and we all should go to therapy to be better versions of ourselves. It's not something to be ashamed of and I strongly suggest you to go because, I'm sorry, but you're that far off now. You had a panic attack on the ICU, we couldn't calm you down so we had to sedate you, because we couldn't disrupt the other patients.

Bonnie didn't know what to say. She had been trying to hold onto her numbness not to cause a scene and that's what ended up being the issue.

-Okay. I'll go- she whispered looking at her hands.

-Thank you. I'll leave you to your friends and please, take better care of yourself once you're checked out.

Bonnie nodded and the other woman squeezed her hand before leaving the room.

-I went to therapy, it's not that bad- said Stefan shrugging.

-When?

-When my parents died. Ric and Jo asked us if we wanted to and I said yes. Of course Damon said no.

The mention of his name made her heart ache. He had been nothing but good to her and she had push him so far away that she wasn't sure he even wanted her anymore. Stefan seemed to notice because he smiled sadly to her.

-He hates me, doesn't he?- she asked, dreading the answer.

-He was about to take a plane to come here when I told him about the panic attack and your mom being here. I convinced him not to because he had a huge problem with his company and he couldn't just leave it be. – he sighed- He still loves you Bonnie, but he's pissed.

-Of course he is. I was an asshole. I disappeared out of nowhere and I left you all behind because that meant breaking and I wasn't strong enough.

-Bonnie, you're stronger than you realize, hon. And please don't let your mom being back destroy your life. She's not worth it.

-Don't you get it Care? I destroyed it because it felt fake. Because I had lied to myself saying I was over it and that it didn't matter to me and it still hurts like nothing ever will. Because I have been shaped by it in the worst way possible.

-Bonnie stop that! You pulled through that like a boss. You could've let it make you bitter and depressed and maybe even end up doing drugs and never accomplishing what you did with your life.

She knew her friend was kind of jokingly giving her the worst scenario possible in her head to make her feel better and that made some on the anger go away, because she cared.

-My Grams would've never let me do drugs- whispered Bonnie wiping away her tears with a little smile.

-Me neither, my mom's a cop and I've always been terrified of her catching me doing something illegal.

They laughed a bit sadly, but Stefan took Bonnie's hand tight and made her look at him.

-You can't do that again, Bonnie. You had us really worried.

-I know. I was being an idiot. You don't deserve that.

-Bonnie you don't deserve to carry it all with you. Stop acting like we're making you a favor by being your friends, you're there for us all the time but something like this happens and you try to bear it all and let it consume you this way? That's not healthy.

-It felt like the only thing I could do. I knew it would wreck me and I wanted to delay it.

-You can't delay feelings, hon- whispered Caroline.

But she had and now they were all hitting her like crazy, she was exhausted and she felt like crying for hours. She ended up doing that, with Caroline and Stefan crying with her, listening to her fears and trying to console her and give her strength again. It was hard but it wasn't as crushing as it had been before.

But one thing remained the same, every mention of Damon made her cry harder, she had really fucked things up and she didn't deserve to be with him, plain and simple.

But she wanted to, so much.

* * *

Bonnie spent a day on the hospital with her friends by her side. She also asked for an appointment with the psychologist and she took her in that same day, something about someone cancelling last minute and her being lucky. If only she knew.

The appointment was weird at first, she didn't know what to do or how to talk to the woman in front of her, but she was patient and she helped her through the first tries.

She asked her about her fears, which helped her open up and she ended up telling her about how her life was forever changed and she didn't even knew if she was who she had showed the world all these years and the woman said she should find herself before anything else.

She reaffirmed her that she wasn't worthless and that it's normal for a trauma that hadn't been dealt with for more than a decade to culminate in panic attacks and intrusive thoughts.

It ended up being really helpful and after the hour was done she finally felt less heavy and she scheduled another appointment for the next week. She also made a decision, she needed to talk to Damon face to face. There was so much she needed to let him know that she couldn't text or say on the phone, so she bought a plane ticket and asked Stefan for the address.

-Are you sure you can get there alone? I can go with you- offered Caroline while helping her with her suitcase, she was still a little bit too weak to lift it.

-Care, you don't need to travel with me. It's okay. I'll eat a protein bar before claiming my luggage, so I don't fall on my ass.

-You'll still fall, you're too weak.

-That's why I don't want to take that many clothes with me and you still put more and more.

-Because you could need it. You've never been to New York, maybe Damon will take you to cute places and you'll need cute dresses.

-Care, we need to talk first. I still don't know if he's forgiven me.

-You know he will.

-No, I don't. He may think I'm too crazy for him. I might've fucked everything up. That's why I'm going.

-He loves you, Bon.

-And I do too and I still did something shitty. It's not about love, Care. This is deeper and we need to talk a lot. He needs to know what he's getting himself into, for real this time.

-Don't be so hard on yourself Bonnie. You're amazing, you need to understand that.

She just smiled, she needed to believe that but it was weird. Now, after her breakdown and her first psychology appointment she understood that she wasn't the worst person in the world and also because the panic attack and the intrusive thoughts left her, she knew she had value and that she wasn't damaged goods.

She was a person, with good and bad traits and she needed to be kinder with herself. She also needed closure with her mom, she had to talk to her once she woke up and she knew that she couldn't keep living her life on pause until the woman would finally open her eyes.

So Caroline took her to the airport and helped her with her suitcase and made her eat two protein bars. Stefan had to work but he had promised he'd be the one picking her up when she came back. She didn't really know when she was coming back, she didn't know how long Damon wanted her there and she hadn't bought a ticket back.

She only knew she had to be back for her second therapy session.

She hugged Caroline and got into the plane. She had a seat in the aisle and tried not to freak out the entire time. She didn't know how Damon would react, she asked Stefan not to tell him she was going, but to tell him he was receiving a package so that he'd be home by the time she'd be there.

She had only texted him an _I'm sorry_. He hadn't responded and she couldn't blame him. She had not only set back into her old ways but had gone too deep and did something she had never really done before. She isolated herself and pushed everyone away when none of them were to blame.

But she should've at least responded something to him. She owed him that much, after all they were planning on living together in a couple of months. She didn't know what she was going to say to him, but she knew it needed to be in person.

After a painfully long flight she could finally get off the plane, she went to check out her suitcase and that's when it hit her, she was in this crazy busy airport because she was in New York. For the very first time in her life, she had come to the place she had dreamt of coming to eight years ago.

She took her suitcase to the street, feeling extremely tired, but also trying not to convey it on her face because she knew that the big apple could be dangerous. She found a line of people waiting for taxis and took one after twenty minutes. She told the driver the address she had memorize beforehand, to make it look like she knew where she was going.

She couldn't keep her act much longer, thought. She had to look out the window and see the amazing, crazy, busy and smelly city she had just landed on. She had to close the windows, though, because the smell was just too much.

She could feel her chest loosening up, after more than a week with it feeling so tight she had thought something broke in there. But she could herself feeling hope again, feeling like she had made the right choice.

Damon's apartment was on a very busy and chic street. Of course he was living on an expensive place. She paid the taxi and ringed the apartment number Stefan had given her. He didn't even talked to her, he just let her in, probably thinking it was the package.

She knew she shouldn't be feeling like this, eager and almost giddy. She needed to have a real conversation she was actually dreading but she couldn't help but to feel these things, because she loved that man and she hadn't seen him a long time.

She took the elevator and as soon as she got out she could see Damon standing on his door. He froze as soon as he recognized her and she had to remember herself she needed to walk towards him despite her fear before the elevator's doors would close.

He didn't move until she was in front of him, he was studying her, wary. He wasn't looking at her the way Stefan did, but it was kind of close. He seemed to think that she was going to disappear at any second and she couldn't blame him for it.

-Hi- she whispered trying to get him to react and when that didn't work she tried to elevate the mood- I finally made it to New York.

That made him move his brows, but nothing much happened on the rest of his face and his eyes were still cautious.

-I thought you didn't want to talk to me- he finally let out.

-I didn't. But I do now… unless you don't- she started squirming under his gaze, she couldn't help it. She hadn't thought it would be this awkward but to be fair she hadn't really thought about how this was going to go.

-I don't know. You're taking me by surprise.

-I didn't want you to be anxious. I felt like just coming was a better idea, but maybe I was wrong.

She could see now from up close how depressed he looked. His dark circles contrasted too much against his now paler skin. It seemed like he hadn't eaten much, either. He looked as bad as she did and that only made her heart clench.

Her eyes started watering, she could feel it, but she couldn't stop it. After her panic attack, crying came easily and she had no strength to make it go away.

-Do you want to come in?- he offered, his eyes worried and she could see that her stupid crying made him do that.

-Not unless you do. I can go to a hotel and wait until you're ready.

-You're not a millionaire, Bonnie, this street's expensive. Just come in.

He moved so she could follow his lead and her breath started getting faster, not only because carrying her suitcase was extenuating now, but because she was incredibly nervous that this went badly.

His place was much neater than she thought it would be. He wasn't untidy but she thought that living on his own would be different than spending time with her at her house.

She sat on the couch that was in front of a huge window looking at the city and let the awkward moment give her bravery to do what she came to do.

-This view is amazing. I would be sad to let it go.

-I am.

-Maybe you shouldn't let it go.

She finally looked at him, she could see how betrayed he felt and she wanted nothing but to erase the pain from his face, but she knew that he needed something better, he deserved someone whole and she wasn't that right now.

-Are you telling me that you came all the way to New York to break up with me?

-I'm telling you that you deserve more than this- she said pointing at herself- you deserve someone who's not broken. Someone who will be there for you even though they're going through something shitty.

-So you'll stay the same your whole life?- he ask rising his voice, she could see that the hurt had let way to the anger.

-No. I'm going to therapy and I'm taking some time off to heal. I can't possibly ask you to be there for me while I do so. I'm a mess, Damon. You deserve so much more.

-Stop making decisions for me, Bonnie. I want to be with you, I want to fucking help you heal, the same way you think you would've helped me when I went through a shitty phase. The same way we helped each other through our parents dying.

-It wasn't enough, Damon! I thought that it was but it only made me feel like I needed you and Care and Stefan to feel validated. I need to learn to value myself without you.

-And I can't be with you while you learn that? Do you really think that you have to isolate yourself to heal from abandonment? How does that work according to you?

They were almost screaming and she felt like a lot of her hidden anger was finally out there, on the world. She also couldn't come up with an answer for Damon's question.

-I don't know… but it's just.-

-It's what?

-It feels like that's what I should do.

-Do you think your mom thought the same way? That she needed to heal alone and that's why she pushed everyone she loved away?

She could feel the tears coming, rapidly. Damon had hit her in a soft spot and he knew it, but it was also true. She was doing the same her mother had done, walking away from everyone who cared about her and who she cared for. But she didn't want it to be true.

-It's not the same.

-How, Bonnie? She had a loving family, she lost your dad and then pushed everyone away and ran away to start over because she couldn't deal with what had happened.

-She ran away because she didn't love me enough, Damon. I'm trying to let you go so that you can move on to something better.

-I don't want something better, Bonnie. There's nothing better for me than you, even as messed up as you are, I'm messed up as well and you still love me. Why is it so hard to believe that I feel the same?

-Because I hurt you.

-And I hurt you and you're still here. And you know that's bullshit, right?

-What?

-That she didn't love you enough. She would pick you up every day, you would always have a great meal and you told me that she was the one to usually read you books at night. That's why you got so obsessed with Harry Potter.

-I…

-Maybe she thought she was too broken too and you needed someone better. She maybe thought Grams was better.

-You don't know that!

-Neither do you, Bonnie. You just assume the worst because it's easier to bury yourself in self-pity than to actually do some growing up.- he was mad, she knew it and he had every right to be, but it still hurt that he could be so merciless with her. In the back of her head she heard a little voice telling her that maybe that's exactly what she needed- I know because that's exactly what I did for too many years, Bonnie. I don't want you to go down that path anymore.

He finally sit by her side, looking at her with love for the first time since she got to this city. He wiped her tears and shed one of his own, while still looking firmly into her eyes, waiting for her to react. She didn't know for how long she had been crying but it felt like forever, when she finally let her hand rest on top of his.

-I'm so sorry- she said before finally breaking down and sobbing in front of him. He rapidly wrapped his arms around her and let his hand stroke her back gently, while she let out all of her regrets in the form of tears. She was suddenly too aware of him, of his arms and his lips on top of her head. She knew that she loved him too much and that he deserved for her to be better.

He deserved someone that tried to be better instead of pushing him away. She was doing it again, without even realizing it, because she was so afraid that he might leave her.

-It's okay, Bonnie. Just breath.

-Please don't leave me again. I keep doing this, keeping you away because I'm so scared you're gonna leave me again.- she wept, finally breaking down.

-Bonnie- he said in his most serious voice, if she wasn't so broken she'd realize it was kind of funny- look at me,- she finally let herself look into his eyes and she could see how determined he was- I will not abandon you. I'm not planning on letting you go again, because you are the love of my life and even if it's hard right now, I know it's worth it. You're worth it, Bonnie Bennet.

-I love you so much, Damon- she said before finally kissing him again. It was messy, needy and she could taste the salt from her tears, but he didn't let her go and kissed her with as much passion and desperation as she did. She had to break from the kiss because she couldn't breath through her stuffed nose and he smiled and went somewhere to get her some tissues.

-Here you go, baby- he said easily and she couldn't help but to truly smile for the first time in what felt like forever.

-Thank you, babe- she replied shyly before using the tissues and she could see his radiant smile, making her feel butterflies. How could he do that? How could she feel so alive all of the sudden just because he said some pretty words and smiled at her.

He pulled her head to his lap, so she could rest her head there, while he stroked her hair. He had one of the most beautiful views in the city and he still looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world and something inside of her fixed. She didn't know what mended but she could feel it. She knew that, if someone could see all of her flaws and shitty defense mechanisms, and still look at her that way, then she mustn't be that bad, could she?

And if a guy as amazing and handsome as Damon did, maybe there was some truth to her being better than she gave herself credit for. She could finally breathe easier and she felt so tired, but she didn't want to keep her eyes from seeing him, she had missed him so much.

-You seem tired, you should sleep.

-No, I'm just weak. I'm the idiot that hasn't eaten or drank water in days.

-Okay. Then I'll get you some water and then we'll order take out.

-We don't have to, Damon- she said smiling. Still enraptured in the way he looked at her, even after all of this.

-Of course we do. There's no reconciliation without sex and I'm not making a move while you look like you're going to pass out. So stuffing you with food it is.

She laughed a bit, Damon was always like this, making her laugh with his dirty humor, and she loved it.

-I just want to close my eyes for a bit, can I?

-After you drink a glass of water, you just cried a lot, Bon-bon.

-Okay- he stood up and brought her water while she cleaned her nose again.

He put them on the same position after she drank her glass of water and started caressing her face and hair once more, making her relax enough to stop thinking and just let herself go.

**·······Damon's POV··········**

She was in so much pain, he could see it now. Bonnie had always had a mask on, a happy, snarky one. She was witty and used to get away with talking herself out of interrogations about her true feelings. She had learned to do that since they were kids, and she had told him once that he had told her how to do it.

He hated that, because that meant that she was hurting as much as he was.

She was as broken as he was and he hated the idea of her being that sad. She was far too beautiful and young and bright to be faking her happiness, so when they were kids he always tried to make her laugh, that was his goal. Make her laugh until she cried happy tears, somehow, he felt like he was keeping score with the sad ones.

But he fucked up and ended up breaking her heart the same way someone already did. He betrayed her trust and did the exact same thing that tinted her eyes sad when they were kids and he hated that he never saw that. That he let his own sadness and brokenness eat away at him and face her with anger instead of regret.

He hated that he wasted so many years letting his own issues cloud the way he saw her, because he knew deep down that she was the only girl he ever truly loved. He needed her laugh to feel good about the world, her smile to brighten up the day. Her kind hands to melt away his worries and sorrows.

She used to be everything that was good in his world and he went and twisted her light. She moved on her sleep and he caressed her cheek. He made her a promise. He was helping her take her light back, whatever it took.

So when she woke up, thirty minutes later he had already thought about all the places he wanted to show her. He wanted her to learn to enjoy life again.

-Want some Chinese?- he asked as soon as she opened her eyes and her stomach responded for her- Chinese it is.

She smiled a little embarrassed and he called a place he loved and knew she would too. He knew what she'd like, having discussed this before, what seemed like years before. He was always asking her to come to New York just to taste the food.

-You're finally getting me to try it- she said once he hung up.

-I finally have you here.

She smiled, radiant and his breath was caught on his lungs for a bit, he was so far gone for this girl. How could she not see it?

-I'm sorry I was too much of a mess to come before.

-Bon, you're not a mess. Stop talking about yourself like that.

-I'm sorry

-And stop apologizing. Or I'll have to punish you.

-How? – she asked, suddenly cheeky and he could his blood rushing down south.

-I'll figure out a way. Something we can't do yet, but will definitely before you have to go back. Which is when, by the way?

-Well, I have to be there next week for my therapy, but I have nothing else.

-How long does your medical leave last?

-Three weeks, but they'll reevaluate my case then and decide if I need more time off.

-Okay. How about this? I have to go to work for at least a couple more days, but after that I'm all yours for the rest of the week and we can just go anywhere you want. We can hit the Empire State or the Lady with the torch and then we can go back home together.

-Are you sure you can just go?

-Yes, it's just going to be for a few days, but I'd like to be with you as much as possible. if you want that, obviously.

-Of course I do. I love you- she said like trying to make him understand. He smiled, because even though he knew that in the back of his mind, it was nice to be reminded. It was nice to know that she felt the way he did.

He felt the sudden urge to kiss her and since nothing was stopping him he did, she met him across the way, lifting her head. He put his hand on her head so she didn't have to hurt her neck to kiss him, but she didn't seem to mind. That was Bonnie, always giving a 100% of herself to others without thinking of herself first.

That's how she ended up like this. He wanted to show her how much he loved her and how she didn't need to strain herself for him. That she was enough, but that was hard to convey on a kiss. She sighed in the middle of their kiss and he felt hopeful that she could feel a little bit of the adoration he had for her. The doorbell rang and they were forced to separate, because the food had finally arrived.

-I better get some food in your angry stomach- he joked while walking towards the door.

-It would be thankful- she replied with a smile, making him smile again. God. This woman would be the death of him and he couldn't be happier.

**···········**

Their week together only helped their bond strengthen and Bonnie was smiling and laughing more than she had in the last year. He was the most amazing and supportive man she'd even been around and when she woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare he was there to hold her and rock her until she was ready to fall sleep again, this time, feeling loved.

He was being so patient with her that she didn't have a heart to push him away, which worked wonders on their relationship. She could finally feel free and talked to him about her insecurities, her fears and resentments and he did the same, letting her know that he was just as faulted as she was.

The next therapy session went smoothly, she woke up next to Damon and he walked with her to the hospital, letting him comfort her afterwards, when she got out with red eyes and a smile.

-It's everything okay?- he asked.

-It's great. I wasn't as screwed up as I believed, it seems.

-That's wonderful news. Do you want some celebratory pancakes?

She laughed, since they reunited in New York he made up excuse after excuse to make her eat. She knew she looked like shit and had lost a lot of weight, but she seemed to have got most of it back now. He wasn't stopping feeding her, though.

-If you make them, you know I can't say no.- she kissed him, happy, but she knew there was something she needed to do before celebrating- I need to do something first, though.

-What?- he seemed concerned, he could see it in his eyes, he knew what it was.

-I need to see her.

She was still in a coma, according to Caroline, but she was in the building, there was no excuse for her not to go see her mother.

-You don't need to. But if you want to, I'll go with you.

-Thank you- she whispered before kissing him again. She was bad at showing how much she really loved him, she tried with kisses, hugs, words, but it didn't seem like it was enough. He did so much for her and she always felt like she came up short to show him the same. She would keep trying, though, even if it took her their whole lives.

-Anytime.

They walked hand in hand, she couldn't hide her nerves, but she also didn't want to. Damon could see it, he had seen it all already, he wasn't going to back off just because she wasn't brave this time.

-I just… I need to do this on my own.

-Are you sure?

-Yes. I'll be right back.

He kissed her forehead and let her go, with an apprehensive look on his face. He knew how bad things turned out last time, but he also knew that she had improved a lot since then.

She let herself take a deep breath before she came into the room once again. Her mother looked so different. Her wounds had healed and there weren't that many tubes coming out and into her body this time, she must've been improving.

And she didn't know how to feel about it.

She kept her distance, just looking at her across the room hurt, but she wasn't feeling as hopeless as before. She knew that maybe her mother had her reasons and even if she didn't she had someone who loved her for who was completely and he didn't even had to. It wasn't her birthright to be loved by him, the way it should be with her, and he still did. Caroline and Stefan did too and she could tell Lexi cared about her too.

He had people who liked her even though she had her flaws. Her Grams did too, loved her with her whole heart and if that amazing woman did, then she wasn't the burden she used to feel like.

She could finally see her mother clearly as well, a middle-aged woman who had faults and made mistakes, the way she had. And probably if it wasn't because her friends and Damon cared so much, she'd go down the same path her mother did.

No, she wouldn't have left her kid behind, anger started boiling inside of her. She may had left Damon behind but never a kid who relied on her, because as much a mess as she was, she was still a mother. That kid still needed her.

An angry tear fell down her face, but this time it wasn't joined by the sorrow it was the first time, she wasn't gasping for air, screaming at the woman in front of her. Because she was not the boogieman she had made her in her mind. She was just a human, who made mistakes and who hurt her but she couldn't determine the way Bonnie lived her life, not anymore.

She wiped away her tear and walked out feeling stronger that ever and when Damon looked at her with worry in his eyes and just plain love she rushed to him and kissed him hard. She needed to show him how much she loved him, how much this growing up was just because he pushed her to be better. He needed to know.

-Bonnie- he whispered breaking away from her, still worried- are you okay?

-Yes. Everything's okay.

-Good- he said after searching her face and probably seeing that she meant it- pancakes then?

-Pancakes it is.

* * *

The day her mother woke up, she got a call from the hospital. She was about to go back to work, her relationships had finally healed and so had herself. Damon was still in New York, trying his best to move back to Mystic Falls, but they kept a steady communication through texts, skype calls and once Damon even decided to send her an old-fashion letter, making her heart flutter and her eyes water. She was happy.

When she hung up she tried to prepare herself for the panic, but it never came. Sure, she was afraid, but not nearly as afraid as she was a month before, when she let herself collapse on the floor of her bedroom in the hospital.

She called Damon, she decided he needed to know that she was going to see her, in case she disappeared for a few hours, she was sure that she wasn't going to be okay after the conversation she was about to have. But she wanted him to know.

He picked up on the third ring.

-Hey, Bon-Bon. How's everything back home?- she smiled, happy that he considered her house his home.

-Everything was okay. I mean, it still is. But it could potentially not be.

-Can you be less cryptic? You're making me nervous.

She liked that Damon was more open to her too now, less witty comebacks and more feelings were thrown between each other later and she thanked her lucky starts that he was in her life and he was as committed.

-They called from the hospital. My mother's awake.

She could only hear silence for a few seconds, and then typing.

-I can be there in two hours.

-Damon, you have a company to run.- she argued, but she could feel relief run down her body because of his offering.

-Bonnie, I want to be with you for this.

-You don't have to. Finish whatever you were doing and then come home, I may need you later. But I can face her alone.

-You don't have to. Caroline would be happy to go with you.

-You're right. I'll ask her if she can drive me, then you could know where I am even if I'm not picking up the phone.

-Why wouldn't you?

-Because I'd be crying, maybe? I don't know. I'm trying to be better, but I have no idea what she's going to say to me. What if she breaks my heart again?

-Then we patch it up with our love. Me specially, but the guys can help. You don't have to shut down again, babe.

-I know. I'm just scared I'll go into that state again.

-But you're doing so great, Bon. You've called me and you're calling Care-bear to take you, which I'm sure she's going to comply with. I'm so proud of you.

Her heart swelled on her chest: he was proud of her. All she was doing was trusting him enough to tell him she was going to talk to her, the worst part wasn't over and he was already proud of her. How could she ever want to walk away from him?

-I love you. You have no idea how much I needed that.

-I love you too. Now call Care. I'll finish this up and I'll see you in four hours, tops.

-Okay. Love you.

-Love you more.

She hung up, knowing that he had no idea how much love she had inside of her for him. He couldn't possibly love her more. She took a deep breath and called her best friend now.

-Hey babe.

-Hey, Care. How are you?

-Great, actually. Stefan's getting out early. We might have a date tonight, thank God.

-Oh.

She debated what to do next. Her friends needed this time for themselves, they deserved it. They worked hard. But she also knew she was thinking about the easy way out again, because it would be so much harder to tell her friend what was actually going on.

-Bonnie, it's everything okay?

She doubted for a second, Caroline knew her well enough and they had worked so hard on being honest with each other, she couldn't screw up now, could she?

-My mother woke up.

-Oh my God, honey, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?

-I was about to ask you to drive me to the hospital, but…

-No buts, I'm coming right now. And I'm waiting outside the room for you, not just driving you. I can't believe you didn't lead with that.

She could listen to her fumble, the keys sound and she couldn't help but to feel guilty.

-I'm sorry I screwed up your date.

-Bonnie! We've had plenty and we will again, this is not something that happens every day, so stop being such a fool. I'm going to pick you up right now. Be there in ten.

Before she could respond, Caroline had already hung up. She pictured she was going to call Stefan to tell him, she knew that's how they worked.

It felt nice, to have a constant in her life, a united front she could rely on. She hadn't had that since her Grams died. I mean, she knew that they were there for her, but she never really tried to reach them. It felt nice to do it.

She changed her clothes, she was wearing sweatpants and a shirt with no bra underneath and she knew that she didn't want her mother to see her like that for the first time since she left, so she put on some jeans and a nice shirt. She felt like maybe she needed some make-up but that seemed silly.

Caroline finally arrived, knocking on her door decidedly. She walked quickly, realizing that she was closer to see the woman that caused so much pain in her life, but she had someone to lean on now.

She opened the door and not only Caroline was there, but also Stefan.

-Hi, Bon- he said smiling, while his wife threw herself to Bonnie's arms.- Care told me and I asked her to pick me up so we could come together.- he responded before she could even ask.

-How are you, sweetie?- she asked holding her tight.

-Not as bad as I thought I would. I'm, still processing I guess. Thank you for being with me, both of you- she said offering her hand to Stefan, so he could squeeze it.

-Anytime- they said at the same time.

They walked in silence, holding her hands towards the car and when they finally got on the car, Bonnie could feel her heart start racing.

-You don't have to do this if you don't want to yet- said Stefan, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

-I feel like I have to.

-But you don't.

-I know. But I wouldn't be able to think about anything else.

He nodded in agreement. He knew that if she could scape she would but it was time for her to face her mother.

-If you need to get out of there, you can anytime. You don't owe her anything, even if you just see her and say hi and that's enough for you, so be it. We'll drive you back home and wait for Damon with you.

-Thank you.

So they had communicated with him as well. Of course he called to make sure they were with her, something warm helped to loosen up her tight chest for a few seconds.

They got to the hospital and they walked with her again, determined faces and their hands on her shoulders, reassuring her, giving her strength and just that was enough to make her cry, so she let herself shed a few tears.

-Bonnie…- said Caroline starting to panic.

-It's okay. These are happy tears, because I have you and that's just… thank you- she said before hugging her best friend. She held her tight and she could feel her spilling some tears of her own.

-You're so strong, Bonnie.

-I'm not, but you make me feel like I got this.

-We're here, remember that in there- said Stefan before giving her a hug of his own.

Bonnie took a deep breath before breaking apart from him and waking towards the door separating her from her mother.

Her heart racing and her hand shaking, she finally took the knob on her palm and twisted it so she could face her past.

The woman in there looked tired, pale and void of feelings. Her eyes were on the window, looking at the three outside without expression on her face, probably thinking that she was just another nurse. But she wasn't and she wasn't prepared to talk yet, so she cleared her throat, making the woman turn her head towards her.

Her eyes kept being empty for a few seconds, but suddenly they lit up with recognition, surprise and… fear?

-Bonnie?- she asked with a hoarse voice, but indistinctively hers. Bonnie nodded, still too shaken up to speak and her mother covered her mouth with her hands, gasping.

Bonnie started to squirm a little under her gaze, she was not used to be looked at in that way. She wasn't sure what way it was, but it was still unnerving.

-What are you doing here?- she finally asked, perhaps colder that she wished to.

-I came to see you.

She had wondered if that was the answer, but she didn't want to put her hopes up.

-Why?

-Because you're my daughter.

-I was your daughter when you left me fourteen years ago too. Didn't seem to stop you.

She fell silent, tore her eyes away from her frame and Bonnie could finally breathe again. Her mother's eyes were once again on the window, but this time they seemed saddened.

-I felt like I had no choice…- they felt silent once more and Bonnie didn't feel like breaking it, so her mother did- I knew your Grams was better fitted at taking care of you. Losing your dad… it broke me.

-So you decided to walk out on your daughter, to break her.

-I did that because I thought it was for the best

-How?- she asked, almost screaming, finally walking closer to the stretcher- How is letting a little girl grow up without her parents the better choice? How is it that you thought that it was okay for me to lose you too?

She didn't realize she was crying, but she definitely was. Same as her mother. Abby let her tears run free, shameless, while Bonnie wiped them furiously.

-I was nothing without your father. Everything reminded me of him. Your eyes, your Grams' smile. Our bed. I couldn't… I was falling apart. And you were just a kid, you deserved to be raised by someone who was more than the shell of a person, you deserved someone whole.

So Damon was right. She was her mother's daughter. She used the same mechanisms she did. She felt like kicking herself for that.

-And that meant not even calling me again? It meant having a new family as well?

-How do you know that?

-Because I looked for you. Because I needed my mother- she confessed, voice breaking as her face broke as well. She couldn't keep being angry, she was sad, so sad.

-Baby…

-Don't. You left me and you decided to marry someone else and be someone else's mother. You broke my heart.

-You just deserved better than me, Bonnie.

-I deserved a reason! I deserve to not feel like shit because I wasn't enough for my mother to stick around. – she started the rant screaming, but she didn't feel like fighting anymore, all she could feel was sadness now- I deserved for my mother to stay- she whispered before wiping away her tears.

-I'm sorry- she said as Bonnie walked out of the room, she couldn't take it anymore.

It was all excuses, she just wasn't strong enough and she just left her daughter to start over. She had spent so long dreading the day she'd see her again and she'd tell her that she wasn't enough, but this was way worse. This meant that everything that weighed her down was a lie.

She was good enough, it was her mother the one that wasn't strong _enough_.

Caroline and Stefan both stood up the second they saw her, enveloping her in their arms, probably having heard everything. She didn't mind, they knew everything already.

-Would you like to go home now?

-Yes- she whispered looking at the ground.

* * *

Damon arrived two hours and a half later, Stefan went to pick him up at the airport and Caroline stayed with her.

-Did she really gave you no reason for leaving other than being broken?

-Yep.

-What's wrong with her? My mom was broken as well but she stayed. Your Grams too, her son had just died and she pulled through.

-I know you're mad on my account, Care, but this just makes me feel bad.

-What? Why?

-Because that's what I did when she came back to town. I ran away from you because I felt like I wasn't enough and I almost ran away from the love of my life because of the fear of being broken.

-But you came around

-But I did nevertheless. I'm just like her.

-No, you're not. You're so much more, Bonnie. You're so much stronger than she is. Maybe you did react the way she did but you couldn't keep it up because you're not her.

Bonnie hugged her friend for the hundredth time that day, because she needed to and because that was exactly what she needed to hear.

-I can't thank God enough for putting you in my life.

-I love you, Bonnie. Please don't forget that.

She smiled and her best friend smiled back before someone came knocking the door. Bonnie went to get it because she knew who it was and she was itching to be wrapped up into his arms.

She opened the door and swiftly he came in and swooped her up her feet, rocking her while holding her tight on his chest. She felt better instantly.

-Hi, Bon-bon

-Hi baby- she whispered nuzzling onto his chest.

-How are you?

-Much better now.

She heard the door being closed and she remembered they had company.

-Do you guys want us to leave you alone?- asked Stefan joining his wife by the couch.

-No- she said softly, because as much as she wanted to cuddle with Damon she also felt so much better with them all with her- but I do feel like opening up a wine bottle.

-Why not?

Damon smiled at her before kissing her softly and then they spend the next hour remembering how they used to sneak around the Salvatore house to steal wine bottles and then refilling the bottles with anything that would resemble the color of the alcohol they stole.

Bonnie felt her heart finally loosen, with her friends laughing with her and Damon's hand on her own and she knew she'd be able to survive this with them by her side.

* * *

Long four months later, Damon had finally moved in with her. They went to the Lake to celebrate with a Polaroid camera and cards. It was her favorite kind of date.

On the way there they talked about everything and anything. How they were doing laundry, how much space he could take in the closet and how he couldn't give the house a full make-over, even if he had the money to.

-I just feel like you're not giving me enough space on the closet.

-You have your own closet on the guest room.

-But it's really tiny.

-Fine, that's the only thing you can renovate.

-Yes!- he said with a smile and Bonnie couldn't help but to smile as well. He was ridiculous and she loved him even more because of it. And she felt guilty for not telling him everything.

-My mom called today.

-She did?

-Yeah… she wants to come visit again… with her family this time.

They had come a long way from the first few times when Bonnie would always leave her in rage and sadness, but this time her mother was fighting to keep her in her life, so she took it with a brave face and kept asking to see Bonnie again.

After many cries and screams, she finally felt like she could forgive her mother and now, maybe, just maybe she could let her be a part of her life.

-Is that something you want?

-I guess? I don't resent them anymore. They're not at fault for my mom leaving and I don't even resent her anymore for it.

-You know that you don't have to have a reason not to want to meet them.

-Yeah… thanks for reminding me.

He took his hand out of the gear lever and took hers to kiss it. She smiled contently, he really knew what to do to make her feel at ease.

-You can tell her you're just not ready.

-Yeah… that's true.

He had helped her so much. He, Care and Stefan had helped her see how she was so much more than her mother's daughter. She was flawed but she also had many good traits and she finally felt like she was good enough, not just for her mom or Damon, but for herself.

When they arrived to the lake, Damon's arms wrapped around her from the back and she finally felt at peace and happy, she felt like the whole world was illuminated in a way it hadn't before and the only way she could describe it was iridescent.

-Everything okay?

She should've known he'd get worried if she was quiet for too long, he was always worrying about her, but instead of bothering her the way it did with Enzo, she could see Damon's worry came from a place of love. He wanted to take every burden away from her, even when he couldn't, he'd always tried and that could only make her love him more.

-I know now why you labelled the picture iridescent.

-You feel it too?- he asked with a smile and walking around to see her face.

-Yeah. It's like there's this dreamy filter on the world.

He laughed, good-natured, making her laugh as well.

-That's one way to put it.- he said before kissing her sweetly and deeply, like he wanted to tell her how much he loved her. Like she didn't already know- Then maybe it's time.

-For what?- she asked while he walked one step away from her and took a box out of his pants- Oh my God.

He dropped to his knee and looked at her with a twinkle in his eyes, far too excited and in love. The same way she was feeling.

-Bonnie Bennet…

-Yes!

-Bonnie, please let me finish.

-Okay.

-I've been wanting to ask you this for a while now…

-YES!

-I have a speech, please let me do this the right way- he insisted, but he wasn't upset, he was beaming.

-Sorry.

-You're my best friend and I'm sorry I lost sight of that when my hurt feelings and immaturity drove me away from you. Those were the worst years of my life, wasted away from you and I don't plan on wasting more time. I love you Bonnie, so fucking much. You're everything to me and I can't wait to start waking up next to you for the rest of my life. Will you please marry me?

-YES!- she screamed again before tackling him in the sand, kissing him with everything she had.

He pulled away and laughed, kissing all over her face, repeating how much he loved her before putting the ring on her finger.

She loved it. It was perfect for her, not too big, but it had little black diamonds around the central white one. She could hear him seeing it and thinking how witchy it was.

She laughed again, feeling like never before in her life. So happy, so elated to have experienced this kind of moment at least once in her life, but knowing she was spending it with Damon she was sure that it was going to be a full life of iridescence.

* * *

Yes. I'm the worst person there is. I promised the ending would be here four months ago and there are really no excuses, it was just writer's block. Also everything that's happening around me. Schockingly, the revolution in my country took away my will to write but the Coronavirus pandemic has restored it. Weird how this things work.

I wanna thank every single one of you, anyone who ever left a comment and made my day. Thank you for caring about my story, for waiting for me uploading, I'm sorry it took so long. Hopefully it was worth it.

I had forgotten some of the things and I had to go back and read my own stuff, so, yes, I am ashamed. But I hope that this gives you the closure Bonnie needed. It also has some of Damon's thoughts and feelings because I used to think that I'd write an epilogue from his pov, retelling when Bonnie got to New York and maybe some other scenes, but since I knew I wasn't anymore, I decided to put some of this feelings and thoughts in there. I hope you like it!

And since it's been too long, I'll just post it to not make you wait any longer. Thank you again and maybe we'll read each other again some time soon.


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